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Next entry: Aw, C’MON! Previous entry: The unreasonableness of anti-tax ideology

Abortion has always been with us

Christy Hardin Smith has challenged bloggers to talk on a personal level about choice, something I’ve done before, but I feel I should take on the challenge again to encourage other bloggers—-male and female—-to do it.  Because putting a human face to these issues helps.  Also, Christy was brave enough to talk about her abortion, which was a tragic event for her and my sympathies are with her. 

I have the pro-choice movement to thank for my great luck never to have had an abortion.  Not that I feel lucky because I’m avoiding the judgment of assholes, because most of them assume the worst of me anyway, so I doubt I could sink lower in their esteem, nor do I care.  But if it wasn’t for the hard work and willingness to get arrested for the cause of justice, it wouldn’t be so easy to mosey into a doctor’s office and walk out with a pill prescription to keep you from getting pregnant.  Or into a grocery store/out with a box of condoms, if that’s what you need.  Contrary to the paranoid claims of anti-choice nuts—-some of whom are populating the comments section at the LA Times—-no one thinks abortion is fun or a great way to pass the time.  Prevention is a big deal, because surgery sucks.  Especially for me.  I get queasy when my blood is drawn, and having a tooth filled gave me a full 24 hours of anxiety.  Even minor surgery is a nerve-wracking proposition. 


But honestly, enough about me.  I’m obviously boring.  What I find interesting is contrasting my blessedly boring zero set abortion history with what you read about in histories of the feminist movement.  You read books like Susan Brownmiller’s In Our Time: Memoir of a Revolution, and the sections on consciousness raising about abortion are startling for one very banal reason—-the sheer amount of abortion.  Women in these meetings in the late 60s and early 70s often recite having 3 or 4 or 5 or more abortions, and at ages a lot younger than me.  There’s reason to believe that in the generation before that, abortion was a major form of birth control, probably the primary one. Leslie Reagan’s history of abortion reconfirms this suspicion—-she describes a world where abortion was as common as it was illegal, and women just simply went to midwives to get it taken care of, and men simply turned a blind eye, assuming that termination was a woman’s business.  It’s a chilling reminder of the lives that I and most of the women reading this would have if it weren’t for reproductive rights activists fighting the good battle.  It makes perfect sense that abortion, while illegal, was an everyday part of life in an insufficiently feminist society.  Contraception was irregular and difficult to use. Men felt entitled to sex from their wives and girlfriends on their own timetable, and that might not include time to prepare a diaphragm or the ability to say no during the fertile periods of the month.  And that’s assuming you were educated enough to know how to tell if you were ovulating. 

So what motivates me is a little different than what motivates Christy to care about this issue.  I’m acutely aware of the life I’m lucky enough not to have had.  Even setting aside the issues about independence and freedom from violence, there’s just the basic freedom from having someone muck around my cervix, doing grody stuff to it on a regular basis.  I’m glad we have choice, because women in the past didn’t really have any.  When they simply couldn’t have babies, their only choice was an ugly choice—-abortion, and under dirty, painful, unseemly circumstances.

Interestingly, one of the commenters at the LA Times accused me of being stupid because I want abortion to be legal.  Presumably, I don’t know how to use contraception, according to his logic.  I’m sort of perplexed by people who make this argument, and have to assume that they have a really weird idea of how frequently most people have sex.  Because most people have sex over 100 times a year, and the more, um, transactions you have, the higher the chances of error.  But I suppose if it’s a really rare event for you, on the level of a lunar eclipse, it’s hard to imagine how you’d have much of an error rate at all.

 

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Posted by Amanda Marcotte on 12:31 AM • (44) Comments

Salutations All;

    We are going to need every vote we can.  There is a group of people that think that they have lost their right to vote because they are former felons, but here is what they don’t know Texas is a progressive state.  In an attempt to be progressive , the state of Texas allow former felons to register and vote as long as they have paid their debt to society by serving their time, not being on parole or probation.  We need to inform people of this fact.  We are going to need every vote we can get.  So, spread the word.  Tell your friends and neighbors.  Let get them reregistered.  The republicans are scaring me.  There is some question about whether Sarah Palin is against contraception.  Some members of the group she belongs to, feminist for life, are anti contraception.

Comment #1: Cyer  on  09/09  at  01:04 AM

FFL is officially agnostic on the issue of contraception.  However, their few statements about it have been wholly anti-contraception.  They claim not to care about contraception, but will spread lies about how the pill is bad for you.

Comment #2: Amanda Marcotte  on  09/09  at  01:05 AM

Also, start spreading the news. FFL is not a feminist organization, in that they do not promote feminist goals—aside from their contention that an anti-abortion stance is feminist. It’s like Jews for Jesus: they’re a pro-life group hunting feminists, not the other way around.

Comment #3: Erl  on  09/09  at  01:24 AM

It’s chilling how they’re going after birth control now as an “abortifacent” as well.
Birth control has probably prevented millions of abortions from happening and kept a lot of people sane and out of poverty.
When sewage like like comes out of their mouths it just shows how the plan was really to control the wimmins again (you can’t go out and get a job! you’ve got 6 kids to take care of! now get back in the kitchen!) and how ignorant they are of basic biology. Well maybe they’re not but they want to make sure you are.
No wonder they want all women to consider themselves “pre-pregnant” and stop science education.

guh.

Comment #4: Danica Lefse Queen  on  09/09  at  02:48 AM

Recently we watched A Raisin in the Sun again, and I had forgotten about the near-abortion in that story. It’s basically just as you described. The wife realizes she is pregnant and instead of visiting the doctor, she visits “that woman” down the street.

I also recently read a bit from an OB/GYN over at abortion clinic days about the pre-Roe days. He talked about the septic obstetrics ward that every hospital had for all the abortions that went wrong, causing infections and bleeding. He describes some really horrific things.

When I lived in Paraguay, herbal abortions were very common, known euphemistically as treatments for delayed menstruation. Sometimes they worked great. Other times women suffered terrible hemorrhages and even died, I presume from retained bits of placenta and the like. Other times they didn’t work at all but the baby would be born premature and with severe birth defects.

It’s important to remember these things. It’s important to remember that no legal abortion doesn’t mean every life valued and treasured. It’s means desperate women doing desperate things, sometimes with horrific results.

Comment #5: chingona  on  09/09  at  03:20 AM

100 times a year? Damn, I feel left out.
Again, this isn’t any reason for me to deny people who ARE more sexually active their choices; my sister, in fact, DID use abortion as contraception, and the only problem we ever had with that was that it cost so much more that way.

Comment #6: Mark Temporis  on  09/09  at  03:24 AM

I had an abortion, and while I did have hyperemesis garvadium, causing extreme weight loss, I could have carried the baby to term and both of the born child and I could have survived and probably led lives. I am not going to say happy lives though because the bottom line is that I did not want to be a mother not ever for what my mother deems selfish reasons and she is probably right.

So, I would have had the abortion anyway. In fact, as soon I saw my pee stick turn positive, I said to my husband I am not having this child. I know it’s not okay here to speak of woo-woo beliefs like body-mind connections, but I honestly believe that I developed hyperemesis because I DID NOT want the fetus living in my body and my stupid dumb fracking ex-husband dragged his feet while I did the socially acceptable thing and wait for him to make up his mind if he was going to raise the kid or not.

I am proud of my abortion, in my adult life it is one of a handful decisions that I made that were in the best interests of my physical and emotional health, (yeah, anti-choicers, I am not fucked up beyond belief, not a drug addict, or addicted to men, or alcohol because of my abortion, I don’t wake up every day crying over my “sin”, so shove that idea up your asses) and because I would have made a shitty pregnant woman if I carried the fetus to term and a live birth, and would have made an even shittier mother, a decision that benefits society because the born baby would have been fostered out in a fucking heartbeat if my husband said he didn’t want to take primary care of the child. *

I wrote a post on dailykos once called coming out of the abortion closet. We women who can stand the heat, need to speak out more about our abortions, and we need to do so in public so that people can see that abortion is not horrible, nor does it scar people for life. We need to change the narrative, and while I understand most women don’t want to talk about their decisions because it is private, those of us who can really should consider doing so.


*Also, as a fundie once said to me after I said this statement, “you must be not in touch with God’s gift of femininity and men must have really hurt you that would deny your womanhood like that” So for the record and not that it would matter anyway, I happen to be straight, and like typical girly things like knitting and lady’s teas, and I wear make up though less of it now, and I even wear skirts. Oh, and I love children, as long as they aren’t mine.  Oh and men have hurt me, and my relationship with my father was pretty typical for my generation, but you know what women have hurt me too, and my relationship with my mother was pretty typical too. It’s called life, people get hurt by both genders, and none of those hurtful experiences by either gender destroyed my so-called “femininity”, whatever the hell that means.

Sorry Amanda, if I derailed this conversation with personal experience.

Comment #7: theunmarrieddaughter  on  09/09  at  09:20 AM

“you must be not in touch with God’s gift of femininity and men must have really hurt you that would deny your womanhood like that”

For a group of people who supposedly hated the 1960s, fundamentalists sure do sound hippy-dippy.

Comment #8: atheist  on  09/09  at  09:27 AM

Also, the abortion procedure itself was while not easy, was not a horrible experience either. No one at PP pushed either choice on me, my options were laid out on the table, the doctor and staff were professionally kind, (which is to me is not wildly empathetic and compassionate but they certainly weren’t mean and judgmental) and i received excellent followups.

In fact, getting my gums planed happened to be a more physically traumatic experience than my abortion as well as more emotionally scarring.

Sorry, I just had to add that too.

Comment #9: theunmarrieddaughter  on  09/09  at  09:29 AM

I am just imagining that anti-choice concern trolls are going to show up and bombard and derail the conversation based on my post, so I wanted to be clear that I am not an emotionally scarred woman who lost touch with her godly gift of womanhood.

In my personal experience, the megachurch fundies use pop psychology as a weapon, trying out various theories of “you hate your mother, and your uncle sexually abused you so you were sinned against and therefore commited sins because of it, so if I throw a little hippy-dippy(that’s a great term!) psych at you, you will see that all your problems are caused by sin and then you will be both a victim and a trangessor and get on the Jesus train with me.”


When a person’s agenda is all about getting someone to join a cult, it’s amazing what tools they will use even hippy dippy ones.

Comment #10: theunmarrieddaughter  on  09/09  at  09:39 AM

I’ve never had an abortion…not because I’m pro-life, but because I was incredibly lucky.  My family doctor put me on bc pills for cramps, flooding, etc when I was 16. 

He did me a huge favor, I wasn’t raised to take responsibility for my sexuality.  As a result, we raised both our kids, boy and girl, to act responsibly and protect themselves and their partners.  I’m proud to say our kids have both taken these lessons to heart and we are the proud grandparents of a planned granddaughter.

It’s interesting to note that in our extended family we are one of the two “liberal” families.  We are also one of the two who haven’t had kids with unplanned pregnancys and stds.  Education is the way to prevent both.

Comment #11: Siobbhan  on  09/09  at  09:57 AM

Having my gums planed definitely was more traumatic than having an abortion.  The only regret I’ve ever felt about having had 3 abortions were that the man in my life at the time for 2 of them was not interested in being a father again.  That stung a little but it wasn’t personal (we both already had teenage kids), and other than that he was great about both instances.  Right there with me thru all of it.  Third time, well, I was 39yrs old- and taking OrthoTricyclen- who’d-a-thunk I could still get knocked up?  I was in and out, no big deal, and my suitor who knocked me up took me out for chicken wings after- coz I could have anything I wanted, right?!  But gum-planing procedure?  That was frickin’ horrific, and had to be strung out over 2 visits, each about 3hrs long.  Ugh.  I’ll get dentures before I ever have that done again.  I’d never even had a filling before, so I had no idea til then why people hate the dentist so much.

Comment #12: thegoddessmelissa  on  09/09  at  10:03 AM

theunmarrieddaughter:
I’m glad you wanted to share that.  Because it’s important to normalize the actual reality that many women (probably most, I’d say) who have abortions aren’t traumatized by it at all.  And of those who are, they’re probably more traumatized by what they imagine is a societally acceptable response to abortion or by abuse from ‘pro life’ people rather than the abortion itself.  (And note, this isn’t to say that some women aren’t actually traumatized and/or regret their abortion, I just don’t think there are as many of them as the mainstream would have us believe).

And for myself, I’m like Amanda in that I’ve been lucky enough to have never had an unwanted pregnancy.  I have two kids, very much planned, and I’m obsessive about birth control these days (because both times it was ridiculously easy for me to get pregnant, as it is for just about every other woman in my family).  However, if I were to slip up and get pregnant again, I would have an abortion as quick as I could after seeing that little line on the pee stick.  Because while I’m happy with the two kids I do have, I don’t want anymore.  I just don’t.  I hate being pregnant, I’m not enamored of infants, and I just don’t want to do it again.  I would like to be able to afford tuition at some point in the near future so that I can go back to school and finish my grad degree (my youngest is three and as soon as he starts kindergarten we can afford tuition) instead of putting it off yet again so that we can afford daycare.  I’m just done.

Plus, I think it’s worse to have a child that you know would be resented and couldn’t be a good parent to than to not have that child at all.  And adoption is not the solution to that, at least for me, because it would be much more painful for me to give up my child than to not have it (and marriage ending, because the husband wouldn’t agree to adoption anyway).  Maybe selfish of me, but there it is—I like my mental health and my relationship they way they are.

Comment #13: ks  on  09/09  at  10:13 AM

Something that I’m curious about: if a huge number of pregnancies end in zygotes failing to implant, or getting shed with the endometrium, does being on the Pill and suppressing your ovulation really save hundreds of teensy weensy lives?

It seems like it would.

I’m just wondering.

My mother relates drinking pennyroyal (which is toxic) and jumping up and down for hours trying to dislodge unwanted uterine visitors in the pre-Roe days. Give me a trained professional any day.

Comment #14: purpleshoes  on  09/09  at  10:57 AM

I like my mental health and my relationship they way they are.

Silly incubator, thinking your preferences are worth a damn.

Comment #15: Well, what?  on  09/09  at  11:00 AM

And let’s not forget the big help that emergency contraception can be. I’ve had to use it twice, and I’ve generally been a conscientious user of birth control.  But stuff happens, shall we say.  So that was two abortions avoided. 

The simple fact is that unplanned pregnancy (or even planned pregnancies where health risks develop for either mother or child) and the desire to control one’s body, or family size, cannot be wished away, however much the anti-choice folks would like them to be.  Women have always sought abortions, and will always seek abortions.  So you either make it safe and legal, or unsafe and illegal.  That’s all there is to it.  To me, that’s the simplest choice to make of all…

Comment #16: Clare  on  09/09  at  11:31 AM

<i>In fact, getting my gums planed happened to be a more physically traumatic experience than my abortion as well as more emotionally scarring.</I

This doesn’t surprise me in the least.  Getting your gums planed sounds intensely awful.

Comment #17: Amanda Marcotte  on  09/09  at  11:55 AM

Welp, I’ve never had an abortion.

However, I’ve gotten pregnant every time I haven’t used contraception.  Thank science for the BCP and condoms.  I bought that line that getting pregnant is difficult and especially hard with the aging eggs of a 32 y/o, which is why I ended up with a honeymoon baby born 9 months and 3 days after the wedding.

We thought it would take more tries.

#2 was planned.

#3 was a surprise, b/c despite honeymoon baby, we still managed to think that 39 y/o eggs must be different somehow and one time wouldn’t matter.  I really can’t do menstrual math in my head after a bottle of Chianti.

#3 is the one I really thought about whether or not to have.  It was a serious decision, and the fact that I could choose really made a difference.  Three is a LOT of babies, and it makes life VERY expensive, but at least I don’t feel like I was forced into it against my will.  There are times when it’s hard, but I know I CHOSE this route, so I think that makes sucking it up and dealing with the hassles easier.

Now I have Mirena, with its failure rate lower than sterilization.  Cause I’m done.  No more kids (no less either).  No surgeries, thankyouverymuch, I’ll happily take my possibly-zygote-implantation-blocker over an abortion any day.

——-
Not my story, but my son’s school VPrincipal had a baby with Edward’s disease.  This struck close not only b/c I like the woman, but b/c there had been some concern early in my first pregnancy that my son might have Edward’s, but we were lucky, and he didn’t.

Her much-wanted baby died in utero, and I think she was able to get one of the last ‘partial-birth’ abortions.  At least I hope she did.  An intact dilation lets the parents have a body to hold.  Thank god we have the ability to remove a dead fetus instead of letting it fester and become septic or calciify.  Those are terminations/abortions, too, and if doctors are forbidden to practice medicine and learn the procedures, then even abortions pro-lifers deign to deem acceptable will be impossible to get.

Comment #18: Caren-Sun-blocking Creator of Animorphic Pancakes  on  09/09  at  11:57 AM

Women from developing countries, many of which ban abortion, can be quite savvy about which modern medications they can take to terminate a pregnancy.  While these medications are prescription-only in the US, the restrictions on them are frequently less in other places. 

There was a quite ballyhooed case here in Massachusetts where a woman with a very premature birth was found to have high levels of a certain medication in her bloodwork.  Turns out she didn’t have the money for a legal abortion and did not have ready access to services, so she did what she knew how to do.  Unfortunately, she waited until nearly month 5, at a cost to her own health but also within days of the legal viability limit.  Much to the chagrin of the punitive pregnancy crowd around here - and that is a quite large crowd - the gestational age was determined to be a week shy of a murder charge.

Of course the unstated theme in all of this was that making abortion illegal would simply result in this modern knowledge making illegal abortion more safe and secret than ever.  The idea of pregnancy termination without knives or surgery or sepsis or the like sends the anti-woman folks into paroxisms of “no fair”.  Yet, it would be done just as it is done in the native countries these women hail from.

Comment #19: Ms Kate  on  09/09  at  12:00 PM

It’s really fascinating to read about the history of censorship in Hollywood and realize how much real life was left out because it was not allowed to be shown.  A lot of people have this illusion that people didn’t swear or have premarital sex or have abortions because those were all things that happened to people in real life that nevertheless were not allowed to be shown in films (and later on TV).  There were some films about abortion, birth control, and STI’s even in the silent days, but they were all gone by the time censorship really cracked down in 1933.

That’s the problem I always see coming from our little forced-birth troll friends:  they want to try and force life to be like “Leave It to Beaver,” even though families were never like that, even in the 1950s.  They think they can create an ideal of how life should be and force everyone to live that way and magically there will be no more accidental pregnancies and no more birth defects.  In retrospect, film and TV censorship was probably one of the worst things that happened to us as a society, because it infantilized us as a culture and made us believe things about how life really works that just flat-out aren’t true.

Comment #20: Mnemosyne  on  09/09  at  12:02 PM

In retrospect, film and TV censorship was probably one of the worst things that happened to us as a society, because it infantilized us as a culture and made us believe things about how life really works that just flat-out aren’t true.

I keep hoping that somehow, Americans will learn, in a way that sticks, both the power and the dishonesty of what they see on TV and in movies. It seems to me that if Americans never learn this, we’ll always be easy to manipulate. But I’m not sure of the best way to inculcate this kind of skepticism.

Comment #21: atheist  on  09/09  at  12:35 PM

purpleshoes: Something that I’m curious about: if a huge number of pregnancies end in zygotes failing to implant, or getting shed with the endometrium, does being on the Pill and suppressing your ovulation really save hundreds of teensy weensy lives?

Yes, it would.

Pro-lifers, however, are as indifferent to saving those lives as they are to saving the lives of pregnant woman.

Comment #22: Jesurgislac  on  09/09  at  01:14 PM

Of course the unstated theme in all of this was that making abortion illegal would simply result in this modern knowledge making illegal abortion more safe and secret than ever.  The idea of pregnancy termination without knives or surgery or sepsis or the like sends the anti-woman folks into paroxisms of “no fair”.  Yet, it would be done just as it is done in the native countries these women hail from.

While I agree that illegal abortion could be much safer now than it was 50 years ago, I would caution against being too flip about this. A lot of these medicines basically induce miscarriage, and while most miscarriages resolve themselves uneventfully, sometimes products of conception are retained, causing extensive bleeding/infection that can have serious complications, including, rarely, death. And death becomes a more likely outcome when women don’t seek medical treatment because they are scared of being found out. One reason the “native countries these women hail from” have such high maternal mortality rates is not because childbirth is that much more dangerous there but because of complications from illegal abortions. Also, as with the herbal abortions I referenced above, if you get the dose wrong, you might end up with a live but severely disabled baby.

It really is better to get your abortion the conventional way, whether that’s surgery or a medical protocol that’s been developed to substantially lower the risk of complications.

Comment #23: chingona  on  09/09  at  01:41 PM

On gum planing, while my dentist did say that some people were just genetically unlucky when it came to gums and teeth, and I am loathe to leap on the personal responsibility you deserve it because you didn’t take pristine care of yourself bandwagon in my case, I only have two words.

floss daily.

What bothers me though is when I sort of openly discuss my abortion in mixed religious/political company, (in other words, I am don’t introduce myself as HI, I’m the unmarrieddaughter and I had an abortion, but I don’t hide my abortion either) and someone asks me if my abortion was physically traumatic. When I say no, my gum planing was worse, some anti-choicer will leap up and start saying it couldn’t have been worse than my abortion, or if I say I wasn’t pressured by PP into choosing abortion, they will tell me I must have been, I couldn’t have been treated with respect, etc.

That drives me batshit crazy, and then I get angry, and start saying things, and then the anti-choicer can turn to someone in the group and say “see, she is emotionally upset and it’s because of her abortion.”

Ugh. another reason to stay in the abortion closet I guess the idiotic anti-choicers who want to tell me what I experienced, and yet another reason not to stay in the abortion closet.

Comment #24: theunmarrieddaughter  on  09/09  at  01:41 PM

Well, if my spouse hadn’t terminated fetus #1, she probably would have died. And there certainly wouldn’t have been fetus #3 or fetus #4, who are respectively pretty good company and making our lives a sleepless hell.

Anyone who thinks abortion should be illegal is objectively anti-children and pro-dead-women.

Comment #25: paul  on  09/09  at  02:06 PM

I had two abortions, and I feel no more or less shame or upset about them than I do about my tonsillectomy or my root canals or any other medical procedure I had.

And I am grateful beyond words to the people who made that possible for me.

Comment #26: JupiterPluvius  on  09/09  at  02:12 PM

Because putting a human face to these issues helps.

I disagree; I think it’s a hindrance. It only serves to create the illusion that abortion is somehow unlike any other known medical procedure and it lends acceptance to the depraved (yet, judging by the public and political discourse, mainstream) position that in order to be permitted to have an abortion, women must perform on command for the amusement and approval of strangers. [Bonus approval points if a major organ is in danger of failure or death is imminent.]

Comment #27: ema  on  09/09  at  02:16 PM

I was working overseas about 15 years ago when one of my coworkers became pregnant.  She was frantic, depressed, panicked, etc to the point of almost being suicidal.  Abortion was illegal in that country.

We all worked for a church, and the woman was unmarried, so if she had the baby she’d probably have lost her job or at least ruined her future job prospects.

My friends and I were trying to give her options.  One possibility was to fly her to England, but that would have run maybe $1500 and even if we pooled our money we wouldn’t have enough.  Finally the pregnant woman located a friend of a friend who could do it.  I never asked for any details, so I don’t know how the deed was done.

The problem was the abortion provider was about a 15 hour car ride away, and although the pregnant woman could take vacation or sick leave without raising suspicion, she needed at least two people to drive her, and the rest of us would be missed.

Two of us managed to drive there on a Friday-Saturday, turn around and come straight back in time to get to work on Monday morning.  Unbelievably, we ran into one of my neighbors at a petrol station en route, but fortunately she didn’t say anything to anybody or ask us why were were there.

As far as I know my role in this affair made me an accessory to murder in that country.

This gave me a glimpse of what life would be like in the U.S. if we lose the right to choose.  Desperate woman will take desperate measures.  They won’t become happy mothers.

Comment #28: ummeli  on  09/09  at  02:34 PM

To echo what chin said, to make it even scarier, the amount of enthusiasm for prying into women’s business is a lot higher than in the 50s and 60s, when the crackdown on illegal abortion really began in earnest, leading up to liberalization.  We can not only expect a return to an era where women are denied basic medical care for septic abortions because that care “looks like” an abortion (D&C;) and doctors are afraid of getting charged, but also a return to withholding care from women who refuse to give up the name of the abortionist.  It’s likely we’ll see the death toll higher than it was in the 50s and 60s because the opinion of women driving this ban will be much lower than it was then.  Then, women who had abortions were bad girls trying to escape consequences.  Modern anti-choicers believe that, but they think that’s equivalent to being a murderer, so their opinion of women is, if anything, lower than it was in the past.

Comment #29: Amanda Marcotte  on  09/09  at  02:34 PM

Ema, I think one perceptual problem is that most medical procedures are perceived as involuntary.  Most of us don’t seek out specific procedures—-they are suggested by doctors after a diagnosis has been given.  It’s not like a doctor says, “You’re pregnant, I prescribe an abortion.”  The experience is de-medicalized in a lot of ways.

Comment #30: Amanda Marcotte  on  09/09  at  02:39 PM

My mother relates drinking pennyroyal (which is toxic) and jumping up and down for hours trying to dislodge unwanted uterine visitors in the pre-Roe days.

Interesting bit of trivia that reinforces the title of this post:

Pennyroyal has been used to induce abortion since ancient times. I know there’s are least one reference to this in the Homeric Hymns (circa 1000 b.c.e.), but I don’t have the citation handy.

Comment #31: Dorothy  on  09/09  at  03:17 PM

Women from developing countries, many of which ban abortion, can be quite savvy about which modern medications they can take to terminate a pregnancy.  While these medications are prescription-only in the US, the restrictions on them are frequently less in other places.

Yes, and then when I was working in Honduras a 19-year-old was hospitalized for swallowing 9 pills of mifepristone. According to the newspapers, she had a four-year-old child and was a single mother working in the capitol with no family in the area. She was arrested while in the hospital. There was a picture of her handcuffed to her hospital bed. It was quite horrible.

Pennyroyal does have a long, rich history (and I think it smells terrific) but of course its use as an abortificant can be quite dangerous if you aren’t careful - I’m glad my mother came through it okay, and not just because she went on to have me.

It’s not like a doctor says, “You’re pregnant, I prescribe an abortion.”

Which I think is interesting, because if you came into a doctor’s office with any other medical condition with as high a rate of complications, injury, and possible death as pregnancy, your doctor would probably try to do something about it instead of encourage it to continue.

Comment #32: purpleshoes  on  09/09  at  04:36 PM

@purpleshoes

What happens if we change the story to something like this:

A clump of cells invades your body, and attacks one of your cells.  The resulting mutation then implants itself inside your body, where it grows into a massive size over time, using our caloric energy to grow into a massive size. While this mass of cells is acting in its parasitical role, your body has good chance of developing serious lifelong health risks such as high blood pressure and diabetes.

Once your body has served its host role to these parasitical cells,  it expels it self through a process that is physically arduous on your body, and there is a good chance cause a massive loss of blood do massive amounts of injury to your body that may or may not be able to be repaired.  If these cells did cause high blood pressure or diabetes, you may be living with those for the rest of your life.

Now, put in that perspective, what rational doctor would not recommend removal of the parasite at the very first sign that these cells implanted in her patient’s body?

Comment #33: theunmarrieddaughter  on  09/09  at  04:54 PM

Wow, I tend to stop at the more juvenile but still worrisome “Parasitic growth will lodge in your abdomen, expanding until it pushes your rib cage outward while secreting a chemical that softens your bones. It will seriously compromise the functioning of every system in your body. At the end of stage 1, the growth will gain access to the outside world by bursting out through your genitals.”

BURST OUT THROUGH YOUR GENITALS. What sane doctor would not want to cure you of that? (And I say this as someone who actually does intend to give birth someday.)

Comment #34: purpleshose  on  09/09  at  05:16 PM

and I was a doula/midwife trainee too, one who loved women, loved babies and children, loved families however they came(single, gay, married, poly,) and loved and and at times when I thought about it, was completely overwhelmed by the idea that I would be an invited guest to stand with women during a life altering time.

Despite all that emotion and conceding that childbirth is a miracle in some ways that science can’t explain yet(and by miracle I mean some of the most beautiful moments in my life were when I was present at a birth and I am not poetic enough to describe what I mean) to me the bottom line is that the fetus and woman are in a parasite relationship. While the love of a wanted child makes all those 40 weeks of mild sacrifice (mild morning sickness) to more extreme like 12 weeks bedrest and disability worth it to the parents,it doesn’t change my outlook on the fetus/mother relationship.

Or, maybe like my mom says I am a narcissistic selfish bitch who will never know true love because I don’t have kids and don’t want them. Of course, my point that a narcissistic selfish bitch wouldn’t leave a city and shut down her career to be the primary caregiver gets lost in there somewhere.

Comment #35: theunmarrieddaughter  on  09/09  at  06:32 PM

Purpleshoes,

My point, if you got it in that little dramatic biopic up there, is that it’s okay to think that the fetus is a parasite and that childbirth has risks to the mother’s health and still want to have children. I was trying to be supportive and vomited up personal angst instead.

I hope, when you are ready, that you have a wonderful pregnancy and your children give you as much love as I am sure you will lavish on them.

Comment #36: theumarrieddaughter  on  09/09  at  06:35 PM

I’ve actually blogged about my abortion a few times but there’s something funky with my blog that has screwed up searching the archives.

I had an abortion when I was 19.  My health insurance coverage was limited to major medical as neither of my parents worked at a company that provided any health benefits. I had an extreme case of hyperemesis gravidarum and, to make matters worse, I was under medical treatment during which I was given some pretty nasty teratogens.  I beat myself up emotionally while trying to decide what to do - in a nutshell, I wanted very much to make sure I was making the right decision for the right reasons.  According to the friend who drove me to the doctor, the office manager told the nurse she charged full price (instead of a discounted, uninsured student rate they had) because I didn’t cry enough about coming in for the procedure.  In truth, I cried a lot it’s just that when I got to the doctor’s office, I felt it would be unnecessary, inappropriate and immature to cry to a complete stranger who was not a part of my care - I felt that would be seen as an irresponsible kid trying to gain some sympathy.  As I saw it, I was an adult and I was taking responsibility for my actions (after all, I did have sex and that’s why I got pregnant).

My parents had no idea I was pregnant (I was in college far from home) and I was not about to ask them for money since they were strapped (they work for small companies that do not provide health insurance, our coverage was limited to major medical so there was no impact on their insurance by my pregnancy). I could have easily just never said a word about it, but I chose otherwise. My friends & room-mate were mortified that I planned on telling my parents when I went home for break and begged me to reconsider because they knew that were they in the same position, their families would not support them (many of them would actively lie to their parents claiming to still be virgins, because their families disapproved of pre-marital sex - I’ve found there’s a lot of irony about familial views of sex/abortion that seems inconsistent with actual behavior).

Afterwards, I spent a few days with the fears and nightmares that most minors probably have: they’ll kick me out of the house, I’ll be disowned (which was funny, since there was never any money - we lived from hand to mouth), I’ll lose my family, they’ll get violent, etc. I dropped slight hints on the phone before I drove home so I couldn’t chicken out and not tell them as they were aware I had some significant health problems that concerned them and I felt I owed them a full explanation about that. Now understand, I had a volatile relationship with my parents but I still felt compelled to act like an adult and discuss the situation with them like an adult (especially since I knew I’d be a blubbering mass of emotional outbursts while I was home). I don’t regret that decision to tell them, I think it was the mature and responsible thing to do under those circumstances.

I don’t regret my decision to terminate.  I never have and I never will. What I do regret is that I was ever in a position that I had to consider abortion (any pregnancy I have had or will have in the future would also put me in a position that I need to determine whether to continue or terminate a pregnancy; needless to say, prevention of pregnancy is the key for me).

Comment #37: ol cranky  on  09/09  at  08:08 PM

*****************
On gum planing, while my dentist did say that some people were just genetically unlucky when it came to gums and teeth, and I am loathe to leap on the personal responsibility you deserve it because you didn’t take pristine care of yourself bandwagon in my case, I only have two words.

floss daily.
*****************

Excuse Me. I floss neurotically. Every day. For years. But, here’s a retro fact for you, I was raised in the serious country by a mother who did not believe in Fluoride.  You think not believing in evolution is beyond weird—how about having titanium screws in your jaw because your mom didn’t agree with fluoride? Sound awful? Try it.

So yes that was judgmental asshattery. 
Just to let you know.

I imagine it is a hell of a less worse than having to go through childbirth because your mom doesn’t agree with sex education, contraception and choice. So if you cannot even imagine forced child birth, try imagining forced dental work.

Dental work << Abortion
Forced child bearing >> Dental work.

Judgmental asshattery about any medical procedure < 0

Comment #38: jane  on  09/09  at  11:23 PM

Jane,

I am truly sorry that you had issues with your dental health. I hope you are well on your way to recovery and I have three words for you.

drink fluoridated water.

Have a lovely night.

Comment #39: theunmarrieddaughter  on  09/10  at  12:17 AM

That drives me batshit crazy, and then I get angry, and start saying things, and then the anti-choicer can turn to someone in the group and say “see, she is emotionally upset and it’s because of her abortion.”

theunmarrieddaughter

I don’t know if this would work for you, but what helps me in situations like that is remembering that the person who’s attacking me is somewhat ridiculous. Imagine them as a small dog which is yapping too loudly, or a child who’s refusing to go to bed in a whiny voice. Or, maybe think about how, in the morning, you like to eat crispy, strawberry flavored aborty-Os with milk. Whatever makes it less immediately angering, and more ridiculous.

Whatever helps you keep composure. Your composure or coolness is like an armor. If you can counter them while keeping composure, that often helps. I understand that it may be a lot harder than what I am used to, though. I also understand that their kind might hate a composed woman even more than an angry one. So, just some thoughts.

Comment #40: atheist  on  09/10  at  07:19 AM

I beat myself up emotionally while trying to decide what to do - in a nutshell, I wanted very much to make sure I was making the right decision for the right reasons.  According to the friend who drove me to the doctor, the office manager told the nurse she charged full price (instead of a discounted, uninsured student rate they had) because I didn’t cry enough about coming in for the procedure.

I hate little wannabe tyrants and their petty judgements about other people’s lives and pain.

Comment #41: atheist  on  09/10  at  07:30 AM

Two words: Supreme Court.

Comment #42: Benny  on  09/10  at  07:52 AM

@ theunmarried daughter: when I was volunteering as a medical translator, there was a day where in one five minute span I was translating for a couple who were literally weeping with joy over their first sonogram, and then the next I was calling every clinic in the state trying to find one that would perform a cheap abortion for a different client who was desperate and broke. Both women were in the same week of their pregnancy. That was the day I realized that I was really, all-the-way pro-choice.

So I feel like I know what you mean. And how cool to work as a doula - that’s something I’ve always been interested in.

Comment #43: purpleshoes  on  09/10  at  09:37 AM

The BBC has a fascinating interview with Dr. Susan Wicklund on its website.  Dr. Wicklund has been providing abortions for twenty years.  She talks about her experiences as a health care provider, the abortion she had many years ago, and (in a truly hair-raising segment) about the illegal abortion her grandmother performed on her best friend in the 1920s.

Really a great interview.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/programmes/the_interview.shtml

Comment #44: ummeli  on  09/10  at  10:29 AM
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