I’m not sure which is more ludicrous—the endorser or the endorsee. Right-wing fading action hero and Total Gym informercial star Chuck Norris throws his questionable weight behind the disgraced, de-benched Chief Justice of Alabama Roy Moore. The press release is keyboard spew-worthy:
Montgomery, Alabama - August 26, 2009 - Chuck Norris, internationally known martial arts expert, actor, and media personality has endorsed Judge Roy Moore for Governor of Alabama. Norris believes Judge Moore is the strongest, best qualified candidate in the race for Alabama’s gubernatorial leader, the person who can best lead the state forward in the difficult times ahead.
Judge Moore and Chuck Norris have much in common in addition to their strong conservative beliefs, including their martial arts skills and their service in our nation’s armed forces. Mr. Norris has won numerous martial arts tournaments around the world. As described in Judge Moore’s book, So Help Me God. Judge Moore fought professionally as a kick-boxer in both the U.S. and Australia, and is known for his strong leadership as a judge and as an Army company commander in Vietnam.
Judge Moore’s campaign is based on his defense of our individual rights, his plan for creating new jobs through the proven economic principles of Supply Side economics (“Reaganomics”) which brought our nation and state out of a severe recession in the 1980’s-by cutting taxes and reducing the size of government. He also has a strong plan to eliminate waste and corruption in state government. Judge Moore is well known for keeping his promises.
Defense of individual rights, wha?! Moore’s law means a two-ton slab of the Big Ten and death to members of the Homosexual Agenda. Oh that’s right, we probably don’t even register as human to this man, after all, Moore said this:
Moore, best known for installing a washing machine-size Ten Commandments monument in the entrance to the state’s judicial building, tacked a 14-page “special concurrence” onto a decision denying a lesbian mother custody of her children. In it, Alabama’s highest judicial officer declared homosexuality “abhorrent, immoral, detestable, a crime against nature.” Gay sex, he wrote, is “an act so heinous that it defies one’s ability to describe it,” an “inherent evil” that “should never be tolerated.” And if homo-bamians continued to insist on fornicating? The state might have to use force, Moore wrote, wielding a biblical “power of the sword” to root out this evil once and for all.
H/t, Right Wing Watch.
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It’s the advent of the Idiocracy, playing out in Alabama. Out of respect for his wrestling prowess, I nominate Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho as a worthy opponent for Moore.
[this non-partisan comment brought to you by Blonde ‘Murkin Jeebus and Brawndo™, the Thirst Mutilator]