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Next entry: Bamboo Review: Up Previous entry: Back in the day @ Stuyvesant HS...along with a Beastie Boys video break

Andy Cobb on The Erotic Musings of Glenn Beck (argh)

Andy Cobb turns the actual writings of homophobic right-wing bleater Glenn Beck into a hilarious, if gut-churning video. It’s safe to say that the Faux News talking head has some...serious issues.

No really, this is Glenn Beck’s actual written-down, published work...Beck justifies it as part of a larger lesson about “teh gey iz bad,” (I’m paraphrasing here), but cm’on. Plenty of people are homophobes without also being sister-licking weird about it.

Even if you dont think of Beck’s “Casper the friendly hatemonger” pasty egg-shaped form engaging in this stuff, its enough to haunt your dreams. It’s the rare work of literature where labeling the author a “motherfucker” would be a kind of lateral move--but he’s a rare talent.

DRILL BABY DRILL, THE SERIES: From contraception to homosexuality, Conservatives seem to think they know how folks should behave in the bedroom.

Well, what do they say about sex? How do they, y’know, talk sexy? The answers may surprise you. They may also make you throw up in your mouth a little bit.

There is a preview at the end for the next video in Andy’s series...a look at Billo’s proclivities.

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Posted by Pam Spaulding on 05:00 PM • Permalink

AHHHHHHH :(

Comment #1: The Erl  on  06/07  at  06:15 PM

Is making out with your sister a Mormon thing?

Comment #2: pablo  on  06/07  at  06:45 PM

Good lord - is that what a falafel looks like?  ‘Cos, you know, I had a *totally* different image in mind…

Comment #3: Phoenician in a time of Romans  on  06/07  at  07:44 PM

You’re probably confusing it with a loofah. Not that that’s terribly erotic either.

Comment #4: Egnu Cledge  on  06/07  at  08:03 PM

pablo:

Isn’t it obvious? Beck is a /b/tard. (You thought sane people posted things on alt.sex.stories.incest?)

Piator:

Actually, it’s really just a lump of fried mashed chickpeas and onions. They’re actually quite good, though the texture takes a little getting used to.

Comment #5: BrianX  on  06/07  at  08:26 PM

I just got a new bottle of brain bleach, if anybody wants to borrow some.  I only used about half of it.

Comment #6: libdevil  on  06/07  at  08:41 PM

I didn’t know that Beck had published anything about fucking his sister, and I don’t want to know anymore.  But I will tell you this - I knew from the first time I looked into his eyes that he was bug-shagging, batshit insane.  And when I read that he was a former (?) coke addict who has had a nervous breakdown, I thought; “yeah, that’s gotta be the least of it.”

So that cons watch this guy and take him seriously goes a long way to evidencing just how f’d up they really are.

Comment #7: Caton  on  06/07  at  08:50 PM

So that cons watch this guy and take him seriously goes a long way to evidencing just how f’d up they really are.

Beggars can’t be choosers.

Comment #8: Diane  on  06/07  at  09:48 PM

Ick.  I thought he really loved his COUNTRY.  Turns out I didn’t know the half of it.

Comment #9: ummeli  on  06/07  at  10:04 PM

Gross.  hell, if they were consenting, hell, I won’t begrudge them.

Hearing about it?  ohhhh iiiiiccccckkkkk!

Comment #10: Ms Kate  on  06/07  at  10:45 PM

An ex-cokehead? Explains a lot. It is said that many born-agains become that way primarily as a substitue addiction. Though one has to move to pure self-repression to explain right-wing writers’ fascination with kinky sex.

Comment #11: BrianX  on  06/07  at  11:51 PM

Wow, that’s… uh… just wow. Just fuckin’ wow.

Comment #12: StarStorm  on  06/08  at  02:03 AM

Actually, it’s really just a lump of fried mashed chickpeas and onions. They’re actually quite good, though the texture takes a little getting used to.

Yeah, I have them in kebabs instead of meat.  It was just too good a line to let pass…

You’re probably confusing it with a loofah.

Have we slept together?  Because you sound *just* like my- um, never mind.

Comment #13: Phoenician in a time of Romans  on  06/08  at  02:41 AM

Beggars can’t be choosers.

If someone drops a rancid hotdog stuffed with razorblades in their cup, yes. Yes they can. Even beggers have standards.

Comment #14: Sophist FCD  on  06/08  at  04:54 AM

Is making out with your sister a Mormon thing?

That would be sheep you’re thinking about.

Comment #15: Magis  on  06/08  at  07:20 AM

It becomes clear why these people are bigoted homophobes.  If gay people are allowed to live their lives and be full-status citizens, that means these nut jobs all have to go out and bang their siblings. 

If I hear one more conservative talk about how gay people need to just stay in the closet and continue to be refused equal rights because THINK OF THE SISTERS, I will puke.

Comment #16: speedbudget  on  06/08  at  07:41 AM

Hey, if she was good enough for his dad ...

(ducks)

Comment #17: Ms Kate  on  06/08  at  07:55 AM

I watch Beck from time to time, but I do suspect there are days when he forgot to take his lithium ...

Comment #18: EricJG  on  06/08  at  09:00 AM

PS I heard his addiction problem was alcohol, not coke, but could be wrong on this.

Comment #19: EricJG  on  06/08  at  09:01 AM

Eric, not taking lithium doesn’t make you a douchebag ... it may result in a person becoming manic douchebag if he is already a douchebag ...

Comment #20: Ms Kate  on  06/08  at  09:25 AM

One more thing ... lithium is long acting, not short acting.  Missing one dose won’t result in a person being nuts the next day.  Not taking meds for a long period of time may result in a mania over the course of weeks.

Comment #21: Ms Kate  on  06/08  at  09:27 AM

I watch Beck from time to time

Seriously, Eric, what’s the point? Why waste your time? I’m not sure why you are so willing to broadcast this fact.

Comment #22: Tyro  on  06/08  at  09:49 AM

I think I’m gonna vomit.

Comment #23: Ben D.  on  06/08  at  12:52 PM

Here’s Keith with some of the madness that is Beck .

Comment #24: Dark Avenger Guardian Chow Mein  on  06/08  at  01:22 PM

I can’t wait until Lynne Cheney’s “Sisters” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sisters_(Lynne_Cheney_novel))
I’d say that ol Dick is lucky that his wife “buried” those “lesbian” feelings. Maybe? Meh.

Scooter Libby’s “bear rape” I can do without any visuals of that for the rest of my life.

Comment #25: Danica Lefse Queen  on  06/08  at  01:24 PM

I think I’m gonna vomit.

Just don’t go into the ladie’s vomitorium or you will witness one of the reichwing’s most sacred erotic fantasies involving Anne “Rex” Coulter.

Comment #26: Ms Kate  on  06/08  at  01:42 PM

Ms. Kate LOL! Because making fun of eating disorders is the funniest thing ever! NOT.

I hate Ann Coulter, but we don’t need to call her a transvestite or transsexual or mock her for being thin. You know why? Because those kind of jokes harm trans people and contribute to body-shaming against women more than they hurt her.

Comment #27: JessSnark  on  06/08  at  01:47 PM

JessSnark, for somebody with that handle, you sure don’t get it.

Perhaps I should have used my “snark” tags for the clueless, even if the post is about bizarre reichwing fantasies?  Or do you really believe from your sheltered, no jokes allowed world that a vomitorium really exists, let alone gender segregated vomitoria ... or will that get me one of your special lectures about transphobia too???

Comment #28: Ms Kate  on  06/08  at  01:54 PM

Nah, there’s just a long and glorious history of misogynist mockery of Coulter, stuff that is unquestionably not cool, and you unfortunately referenced it.  If it’d been the first joke, it would’ve been funny.  Way of the world.

Comment #29: Punditus Maximus  on  06/08  at  02:48 PM
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