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Next entry: There are no real arguments against gay marriage Previous entry: Fruit flies, post-abortion syndrome, and other adventures in wingnut hostility to science

Barack Obama Wants Your Children’s Hearts…Preferably Still Beating

imageBarack Obama’s website now features a section for kids

By which I mean Barack Obama is drafting his future Fascist Army

Now let’s wrap up the tour and put this into perspective. Is this all so bad? Is it bad at all? Shouldn’t kids be involved? Aren’t they entitled to their opinions? Is it wrong to reach out to them to open their eyes, so that they could change opinions of their parents? There are two way to answer these questions. One is simple ethics. Make no mistake: this is not about reaching out to the supporters. Sen. Obama openly goes after the kids of people who don’t plan to vote for him. He and his staff see the minds of children as a backdoor to get to the voting parents and grandparents. So, yes, it is bad. It is wrong. It is despicable. And there’s no excuse for this.

If there’s one way to get parents to do something, it’s to get their toddlers to nag them about it - hence America’s world-leading pony and chocolate castle industries.  There is, of course, a bad side to childhood involvement in politics: going from “my kid’s excited” to “I’m going to use my kid to be a partisan asshole!”.  But if drawing pictures and wearing stickers is the beginning of a new fascist fasctocracy (credit me!), then I also demand we bring immediate military action against the insurgent Kids Voting group.  I would also like this site classified as hate porn - it’s not just hate, it’s not just porn, it’s both…and more.

 

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Posted by Jesse Taylor on 03:23 PM • (31) Comments

Sen. Obama openly goes after the kids of people who don’t plan to vote for him. He and his staff see the minds of children as a backdoor to get to the voting parents and grandparents.

Wow, who knew that Sarah Silverman could still be classed as an easily manipulated “child” who shouldn’t be listened to when she says we should talk to our grandparents about voting for Obama?  I guess that no one should be allowed to discuss Obama with anyone since we’re all someone’s children and so therefore we’re all being horribly, horribly manipulated by the Obama campaign.

Comment #1: Mnemosyne  on  10/27  at  04:15 PM

Oh dear god what next?

I’ve got it!

petsforobamaforusa.com

Oh that will get the wingnuts in a real hissy.

Comment #2: ice weasel  on  10/27  at  04:17 PM

Well I suppose when I wear my Obama t-shirt I am setting myself up for negative comments and possible bodily harm in some areas (the videos are scaring me).  But if I put a t-shirt or sticker on my kid then what can people say?  Even hate-filled jackbooted thugs?  Are they going to set my stroller on fire like it was another lawn sign?

In light of full disclosure my kid is a teen who can wear whatever t-shirt floats his little boat.  But when he was a baby he did wear campaign t-shirts for his dad who was running for a local seat in state gov’t.

Comment #3: Amalink  on  10/27  at  04:23 PM

what are toddlers doing trolling the interwebs for points to convince mom and dad anyways? Is this like when I get a card signed from my friend’s dog? “Mr. snuffles really missed you this Christmas” “Well, we were going to vote McCain until little Bobby went online and convinced us otherwise”.

But if it’s teenagers, hell ya, let’s give them all the resources they need to help their parents vote keeping in mind the needs of future generations. If shaming them into realizing it’s more important to preserve the environment than to care about teh gay marriage, then great! more power to them!

Comment #4: kodiak  on  10/27  at  04:26 PM

Isn’t there a kids section to the White House website already? How is this different, again?

Comment #5: Ben D.  on  10/27  at  04:29 PM

WHAT is with those shiny babies?!  That freaks me out more than the crying.

Comment #6: Blitzgal  on  10/27  at  04:31 PM

Goddamn Jonah Goldberg for this retarded “Liberal Fascism” meme. It’s getting on my last nerve with it’s stupidity.

Comment #7: Ben D.  on  10/27  at  04:33 PM

What?

What?

I went to the kids’ website weeks ago.  We printed out lots of blank Obama logos and color them in. Some are rainbows, some have flowers, but my favorite is the one where the middle of the O is a bright orange jack o’lantern in a starry sky.  I even thought about scanning it in and sending it to my email-pen-pals Barack and Michelle ( that’s how they sign their emails to me!  I’m sure it’s personal!111!!  The $40 I’ve sent has brought us so close together!)

That website talks about activities to do with your children and parties to set upwith your children.  It’s getting children involved in the election in a purely wholesome way—by encouraging parents to talk and play with their kids.

I’m planning on taking my three to Grant Park as long as it’s not sleeting or sub-zero wind-chills.

Man, it’s not like Nickelodeon isn’t running a Kids Pick the President campaign as well.

Comment #8: Caren-Sun-blocking Creator of Animorphic Pancakes  on  10/27  at  04:33 PM

Using kids to score political points:

If you’re doing it in a way that engages them and makes them feel involved, you’re a horrible fascist

If you do it in a way as to make your own daughter cry in order to score political points you’re a great American.

Seriously, what is this Republican fetish with orchestrating elaborate victim stories?

Comment #9: Mighty Ponygirl  on  10/27  at  04:35 PM

Your use of the Jill Greenberg photos is really disgusting.  They are little more than child pornography.

Comment #10: Direwolf  on  10/27  at  04:40 PM

The middle school down the street from me had a mock presidential campaign and election and Obama won in a landslide.  It was a civics project and the results were even on the front page of the local town newspaper. 
The horror!!

Comment #11: CParis  on  10/27  at  04:48 PM

Here’s some rightwing agitprop for the primary school set:
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/imageviewer.asp?ean=9781416975281

Comment #12: Hector B.  on  10/27  at  04:53 PM

I’m in Big Brothers Big Sisters.  My little, who may just be the most fabulous little girl in the world, went with me to vote on Saturday.  She’s the child of immigrants and it was the first time she’d been to a polling place.  There was tiny adorable democracy all over the place and she met the governor and was on TV.  She was very excited to push the Obama button (she likes that his dad was an immigrant, just like her parents).

I guess this makes me a bad person.

Comment #13: Zoe  on  10/27  at  04:53 PM

Will Obama be back in NH this week sometime?  I’ve been checking the website, but no dice.

My kids REALLY want to go see him.

As for the “baby porn” site, OMFG!  He really likes the kids and babies, and it shows!

Comment #14: Ms Kate  on  10/27  at  05:01 PM

Jill Greenberg?  Pornographer?  Maybe you’ve seen work of her that I have not.  She’s tedious to be sure.  A one trick pony but pornography?  Not from what I’ve seen.

-a photographer

Comment #15: ice weasel  on  10/27  at  05:23 PM

Your use of the Jill Greenberg photos is really disgusting.  They are little more than child pornography.

It’s pretty sick that Direwolf sees a picture of a cute child and immediately imagines having sex with them.  You should probably seek therapy.

Comment #16: Mnemosyne  on  10/27  at  05:43 PM

You all miss the point. Children are the property of their parents. Therefore, it parents put their moppets in political garb, insult minorities, bug their teachers like an extra-whiny Ben Stein, call the kids ex-fetuses, etc., that’s ok because it’s the same as putting bumper sticker on your car. Barack is trying to undermine the parental hold over their property, just like everyone knew he would, ya know what I mean.
Of course none of the above applies if you are a liberal parent giving your kid a button or t-shirt. That’s just child abuse.

Comment #17: histrogeek  on  10/27  at  05:50 PM

Kids and Democrats?  Oh the humanity!  It’s nothing less than fascism, and in no way makes my ovaries twitch.

Comment #18: Nicole  on  10/27  at  06:03 PM

Sen. Obama openly goes after the kids of people who don’t plan to vote for him. He and his staff see the minds of children as a backdoor to get to the voting parents and grandparents. So, yes, it is bad. It is wrong. It is despicable. And there’s no excuse for this.

Wow, there’s that projection thing again!

Several years back, several families in my area had issues with local churches who sent out “missionaries” to “witness” to latchkey kids before their parents got home. They went out in teams of one adult and one or more children, to be less threatening to the other kids. A common tactic was to say they were looking for one of the child’s school friends who was supposed to live there, but they think they got the house number wrong, do you know where this child lives, etc. And when you say, “no, don’t know that family”, they launch into “Well, that’s OK, because we’re here to tell you about Jesus!”

In at least one case, the kids were specifically asked not to say anything to their parents.

A few years later, a day care teacher took it upon herself to teach my child Christian catechism behind my back (she knew my family was not Christian), and she instructed my child to keep it a secret from us.

But, yeah, this is totally a liberal fascist tactic. Totally.

Comment #19: Dorothy  on  10/27  at  06:15 PM

A teenager in my town has raised over $4000 for the Obama campaign by selling t-shirts, signs, and stickers that he designed himself.  The design is cool, too: the profile of a dog barking “OBAMA”!

So I suppose this means that Obama is recruiting both kids and dogs for his army. 

BTW, I took advantage of the advance voting here in GA today.  Yay!

Comment #20: Pen Brynisa  on  10/27  at  06:26 PM

He and his staff see the minds of children as a backdoor to get to the voting parents and grandparents.

That sounds like the advertising strategy of every food and toy company for the last hundred years. What’s the big deal?

Comment #21: Incertus, Nacho Daddy  on  10/27  at  06:38 PM

This is off topic, but nowhere else to point it out to like-minded people:  Did anyone else notice that as long as Obama was on TV, the Dow kept climbing?  As soon as John McCain’s speech started, it began dropping.  Apparently, he’s got the street’s hearts all ready.

Comment #22: Spooky Skeptic  on  10/27  at  06:43 PM

Thank you so much for linking the site with the pictures of Obama with babies.  It’s brilliant, makes me feel so much better, and will probably go viral at work.  :-D

Comment #23: INTPagan  on  10/27  at  06:46 PM

When I was about 13, my mother saw nothing wrong with me joining her pro-life march when Jimmy Carter came to town.

And, if you wanta get more relevant, it can’t be that hard to pull that “Palin and The Special Kids” NBC news puff piece off YouTube. 

IOKFCIYAR? (It’s OK For Children If You’re A Republican)

Comment #24: mom de plume  on  10/27  at  06:59 PM

is he kidding?

Little kids love to color especially with their parents.

And my kids, 10, 11, and 13 love to phone canvass for Obama with their mama!!!!  They’ve all read about what Obama wants to do, have watched at least one debate, and have seen both candidates speak on TV.  They LOVE making phone calls.  It’s empowering, develops their self-confidence, and their speaking skills.

Comment #25: renegademom  on  10/27  at  07:11 PM

That sounds like the advertising strategy of every food and toy company for the last hundred years. What’s the big deal?

It’s because they’re not trying to sell people on stuff that makes Republicans rich, so it’s obviously evil.

Comment #26: Damian  on  10/27  at  07:22 PM

So why did someone change the image on the post?  One crackpot complaint and we jump?

Comment #27: ice weasel  on  10/27  at  07:43 PM

Kids love Obama, and why not?  Grampy McCain just scares them, no matter how many Werther’s Originals he forks over.

Comment #28: keshmeshi  on  10/27  at  08:40 PM

So why did someone change the image on the post?  One crackpot complaint and we jump?

Actually, looking at four crying babies made me much sadder than I thought I would be.

Comment #29: Jesse Taylor  on  10/27  at  10:55 PM

Damn, Obama’s campaign is WALL TO WALL 360 DEGREES OF COMPETENCE!  They hit EVERY button.  It’s a beautiful thing, friends.

SOOOoooo nice to see competent Democrats.  2004 really made me doubt their existence.

Comment #30: Eric, Rejector of Memez  on  10/27  at  11:06 PM

Yeah, wonderful to paint this as so horrible, when I was in line to get into the Obama rally in Pittsburgh today there were a bunch of anti choice protesters along the sidewalk that were making their eight year olds hold up huge signs with pictures of dismembered fetuses in the freezing cold for hours on end.  The poor kids looked miserable and also looked like they really had no clue why they were standing out there.  I think getting kids involved in fun activities like coloring is far less of a problem then making your kids uncomfortable for extended periods of time to support your cause that they most likely don’t even understand…

Comment #31: Chronoperates  on  10/28  at  12:06 AM

Yay!  I just printed out the coloring page and colored it in.  I’m going to hang it on my front door!

Coloring really is kind of fun.  I haven’t done any in years.  And after spending some time with the logo, I’ve come to appreaciate it—of course there’s the whole rising sun thing, and the flag color scheme, but I came to like how the stripy bit evokes farm fields, which in turn evokes the whole patchwork of America thing.  Plus it was easy to color.  Whoever designed that thing really knew what they were doing. 

That said, I don’t think it’s in any way unusual for campaign sites to have a kids’ page.  McCain/Palin doesn’t appear to have any coloring pages, but it’s a pretty bare-bones site.

Comment #32: A.  on  10/28  at  12:32 AM
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