Slight detail: Obama looks vastly more like his Kenyan family of his father than he does like his half-sister.

Might be that CIA FBI DNA russian communist language class thing.

Too furn dunny.

You need a drink, dude.  Next time you’re in Boston, first round’s on me; no one could pay me enough* to read that much stupid.

(*This is probably not true.  However, at the very least no one is currently offering me enough.)

You know, there’s a telling statement in Johnson’s narrative…

It is amazing what money can buy.

Indeed, it is. Spread around enough money insisting that you want something, and by golly, someone is likely to offer you something that looks like what you want.

You know, it would make for a pretty good SNL sketch for Obama to admit he is the last son of Krypton.

you gotta give em some credit for not working Area 51 into the narrative. yet.

And now that I think about it, they haven’t tied him to Jack Ruby either.

You know, it would make for a pretty good SNL sketch for Obama to admit he is the last son of Krypton.

Hell, Jon Stewart should do that next time Obama’s on the Daily Show. Introduce him as “Kal-El, last son of Krypton” or something. Bonus points if he can convince Obama to actually wear a Superman suit during the interview.

Any reason you care about this shit? Just curious.

And these are the people that prattle on about “Bush derangement syndrome”. Sheesh.

This is fucking pathological.

Well, you know, look on the bright side: If Obama proves to be as much a non-American as Edwards is a scumbag, then we’ll still have Hilary Clinton.

LongHairedWeirdo: I know, right?  I think “Americans don’t want to elect a Kenyan as President” is a telling statement, too, in a different way.  But for sheer comedy gold, you can’t beat:

Michelle’s “whitey” tape and the controversy over his birth certificate are the least of his concerns.

Not that I’m about to wade through the whole thread over there, but it looks like even many of the Freepers aren’t buying this.

I don’t understand why they continue with this stuff. And why aren’t they obsessing on the fact that John McCain was born in Panama? Does the U.S. want a Panamanian president? I live in Panama and I haven’t been very impressed by the two Panamanian presidents I’ve seen. Of course, I have been completely depressed by the current U.S. president.

Maybe my problem is with presidents. . .

Wait. I thought he was swapped at birth by Satanic nuns and his real mother’s grave has been found and when it was opened they discovered the skeleton of a jackal!

OK, Jesse, no more linking to such idiots without sufficient notice.  Mesus Hussein christ!  I was on freerepublic!  and the stupid was so thick I started to get depressed and think crazy grampa had a real chance to finish destroying the country.

I just don’t understand why they think Obama is such a threat and will destroy us.  are tax cuts for the rich that damn important?

(sorry for the funky capitalization.  this is the laptop with the broken shift key.)

These prurient scumbags you refer to were accusing Bill Clinton’s nurse mother of being a prostitute and such nonsense during his terms in office, as well as all that other B.S.

I know this because my white Mississippi uncle and his white best friend were yukking it up in the most deviant tones possible and with the sleaziest most self-satisfied smirks on their faces while talking about it, having heard it through the Limbaugh radio ratline.  Because she was a single mother, they thought they could just get away with misogynist slander.

It’s like my aunt brilliantly said about my uncle and his ilk:  “They are just stupid old white men afraid of losing their power.”

Good for you, auntie!  I’m sorry you had to stay married to that misogynist worm for so long and especially sorry he outlived you, the creep.

I think these things are even more of a real concern than they have been about others in the past (say, Clinton) because they are just more likely to stick this time with a larger section of the population. 

I predict this will happen because of a certain characteristic of Obama’s that might render him more susceptible to being cast as a strange other that we reg’lar folks don’t understand.  You know those people on the other side of the tracks with their ill-fitting pants and their gold teeth and their bling-blings.

For some people this far-fetched crap is flying into that gaping chasm that is their lack of knowledge about black people.

You know, Obama probably also falsified his Red Cross swim lesson completion certificates.  It simply isn’t possible for a black guy to be able to swim, so he’s either 1) falsified his records and lied to the American public or 2) he’s actually half Indonesian.

(yes, I know - a African American guy named Jones just earned a gold medal in the 4x100 relay)

well, didn’t you guys realize that there is yet another layer to this massive cover-up by barack hussein soetoro o’bama?

His actual dad isn’t Mr. Soetoro or Mr. Obama, his actual father is none other than Osama Bin Laden, and all those media types know this, which is why they keep “mistakenly” referring to him as Barack Osama.  Cuz his real birth certificate says Barack Osama Bin Laden!

And he’s actually from Afghanistan. 

But, here’s the really weird thing.  O’Bama Osama’s Mother is actually the love child of Adolf Hitler!

ZOMG!!

ok.  i’m done making shit up now.  maybe the idiots at no quarter will do us a favor and do the same.

This is the biggest case of hubris since Clinton said “I did not have sex with that woman.” Or maybe it is McCain’s attempt to cushion the shock of when his own birth story is revealed. Look at what “esquirette” was really trying (not) to say:

<i>When a child is adopted, vital records changes the birth record, once they get the adoption decree. The very first BC will not say McCain, but it likely is sealed or destroyed.

There are two interesting things here. The Panamanian adoption must have been registered on the mainland to make this change, and of course, McCain lied about all this.

What Larry Johnson’s really talking about:

Just today, we confirmed that <b>Juan Noriega aka John Saddam McCain was a citizen of Panama since 1936 (note how “Johnson” transposed the 3 and the 6 in his post). Juan has yet to stipulate when he renounced or relinquished that citizenship. That will be a distracting issue in the upcoming campaign. Americans don’t want to elect a Panamanian as President. It is that simple.

Padre Mickey hit the nail right on the head. America has to keep this Panamanian strongman from becoming President. As thinly disguised in the freeper and Larry “Whitey” Johnson posts, McCain, ne Juan Noriega, born on foreign soil to foreign parents, was adopted by the McCains. His birth certificate was reissued after the adoption to make it look like this alien was the McCains’ biological child. Despite his long military and political career, McCain’s lack of birthright citizenship was never an issue until now.

If Obama proves to be as much a non-American as Edwards is a scumbag, then we’ll still have Hilary Clinton.

A woman who was born in communist Russia? (I mean, I assume, because I have exactly as much evidence as anyone has about Barack Obama being a secret Pakistani Indonesian Kenyan Soviet Jewish Muslim Black Nationalist.)

I don’t think Obama is a secret agent, but it will be extremely irritating if any shred of these rumors about him not being eligible to run turns out to be true. The other thing that I sometimes wonder about (because I am a paranoid kook) is whether Obama is possibly an operative for the Republican Party?

But then I force myself to reverse that scenario, and picture John McCain as a secret plant for the Democrats. And it all falls apart…

Hey, whoever he picks as VP is pretty much bound to be an American citizen, so all will be cool no matter what. (Unless he picks an alien or a vampire, which can happen).

What the fuck. That is some freaked-out orgy of hate. Are they all freeper nutjobs pretending to be Democrats, or what?

I finally understand how bad our schools are when people like these are convinced that when they say Obama was born in Kenya or Indonesia, that means he was born in the Middle East.  Hell, by being born in Hawaii, they probably think that means he was born in the Middle East.

If Barack Obama’s father wasn’t Kenyan, than maybe he could be the Antichrist after all!

And look: Barack Hussei Nobama: 6 6 6! (Just like Ronald Wilson Reagan or George Walker Bushie)

And why aren’t they obsessing on the fact that John McCain was born in Panama? Does the U.S. want a Panamanian president?

Because John McCain is white, and they want him to win.

I envy the amount of free time Larry Johnson and the Lunatic Brigade (I claim that as a band name) have at their disposal. I barely have time to write about things that are actually happening let alone time to create rips in the time-space continuum.

This is the dumbest election. Ever.

“I finally understand how bad our schools are when people like these are convinced that when they say Obama was born in Kenya or Indonesia, that means he was born in the Middle East.  Hell, by being born in Hawaii, they probably think that means he was born in the Middle East. “

Kind of like how I constantly correct people that, no, Pakistan and Iran are NOT “Arab”!

Wait, now hold on here.  I thought Obama was the Antichrist?

Because if that’s true, then the answer is obvious.  In 1960, at the University of Hawaii, Stanley Anne Dunham, Mad <strike>Anthropologist</strike> Scientist, developed a plan to harvest the DNA of two Brown And Muslim Non-American Men, Barack Obama, Sr. and Lolo Soetoro, and combine them to create BARACK HUSSEIN OSAMA, the spawn of the New World Order.  Before the accursed experiment could come to fruition, however, someone at the university caught on to her evil plot, forcing them to flee the USA.  They set off on a journey that would cross several continents, outwitting the Feds at every turn, until their little Antichrist science project was finally “born” from his test tube in Kenya.  Or Singapore.  Or Indonesia.  Or something, whatever, I mean basically all non-American countries are pretty much the same, right?  The two fathers dispersed back to their home countries in order to elude capture, and Stanley forged several birth certificates, passports, etc “proving” little Barack Jr. was really her biological son.  They snuck back into HI, and the rest is history.

Or at least that’s what the story is supposed to sound like, if Obama really is the Antichrist, according to the Rapture Ready crowd.  Well, OK the on the lam part is gilding the lily, but it’s the only way to explain why <strike>Nicholae</strike> Obama has all this birth certificate forgery stuff going on.

The above ridiculousness brought to you by that one summer I stayed at my brother’s place and read all his born-again apocalyptic fiction, and also by way of Slactivist’s Left Behind Fridays.

Meanwhile, it remains a well-documented, non-controversial fact that John McCain is not eligible to serve as President, on account of being born within the Canal Zone.

MikeEss,

It’s just my keen reasoning abilities that can scent out bullshit. Which is why I generally bypass election year slinging. So I was just curious as to why anybody would give it any notice.

I credit average American with the same abilities to nose out idiot nonsense. The ones who say they believe that kind of nonsense are die hard fans of the opposite candidate.

This would be on average, though I recognize there always be people who fall into none of the above categories.

Man, these fuckers are going to bust a gasket the day Obama wins the election.

I was hoping you could shed light on how Obama acquired his super human abilities.  Having a “slut” for a mom does it cut it with me.  The guests on the Jerry Springer show have multiple daddies and I don’t see them wielding any super power.  Is he from another planet?  Was there a radioactive incident?  Could it be years of covert ninja training?  Perhaps he is part of a secret government experiment gone wrong?  Put my curiosity to rest!