Condom use was actively deterred by my (Catholic) high school - they actually taught us that condoms do not work to stop the spread of HIV, though they *might* work to keep you from getting pregnant, it was really a toss-up and they “shouldn’t be relied on”. Take-home message, of course, was keep your legs closed, but everyone just interpreted it as “don’t use condoms because they don’t change anything”.

When my dad found out my younger bro was having sex with his GF (by finding a used box of Plan B, amusingly) I told him about my high school’s anti-condom crusade. I’m guessing The Talk was had later that night.

Plan B as a primary form of birth control boggles my mind—that’s like the canard of the woman who only gets abortions as her birth control… who has that kind of money to throw around!? Plan B is not cheap.

My suspicion is that this is more economic than anything else—right now with things being as bad as they are, people are a lot less “baby ambivalent,” which means that they don’t have squishy undefined attitudes toward an unplanned pregnancy that means that if it OOPS happens, they’ll figure it out then and either get the abortion or try to muddle their way through and make the best out of it and have the kid (because they know either thing is out of their ability to afford)—and I think the oops/oh well philosophy, especially during the heyday of abstinence education, was more prevalent among teenagers than we would have liked to admit. And who knows? Maybe those teen mom shows actually have shown teenagers what a big bowl of suck teen motherhood is, so they’re a little more in the “fuck no I don’t want that” category than they would have been otherwise.

Plan B is the only form of over-the-counter hormonal birth control I’m aware of in the United States. It might be expensive on a per-use basis, but if sex is rare for you, AND you don’t or can’t do barrier methods, AND you don’t have health insurance to pay for ongoing doctor’s appointments and prescriptions, AND you don’t have access to (or don’t want to go to) family planning clinics that offer a discount on such things ... it might actually be an economically viable option.

I realize that’s a lot of factors combining into the mother of all corner cases, but maybe not all that uncommon, especially with the last factor: Planned Parenthood services aren’t feasibly available everywhere, and the religious right has managed to convince people PP is evil. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that some would rather have occasional sex and pay $40 a pop for Plan B than darken PP’s doorstep and join the hordes of dirty abortion-loving sluts.

Or, if you have sex once a month or less, it’s actually kind of a tossup between full-price generic hormonal birth control and Plan B, isn’t it? Plus with Plan B, you don’t have to take a pill every day. That might actually be a reasonable option for people in long-distance relationships, or old crones like me who aren’t exactly horndogs with their life partners any more.

I have no knowledge of Plan B’s cost, but come on, it’s right there in the name!  What’s the thought process?

For those of us who actually like people and want them to be happy,

A vanishingly tiny minority indeed, or so it seems these days.

Well, I’m here to tell you that it may just be that Cat is an outlier, because the overall trend is towards more condom use, not less.

Which is weird, ‘cause conservatives are pretty convinced that we’re in the middle of some massive, unprecedented epidemic of teen pregnancy. But here in reality, teen pregnancy was actually worse in the 50s and 60s, which makes sense, because there weren’t nearly as many people back then trying to teach high schoolers about condoms. But conservatives don’t actually care if teen pregnancy was worse back then; it’s not so much that they care if teens get pregnant, they just want to return to the days of sweeping that problem under the rug and not having to think about it.

Condom use was actively deterred by my (Catholic) high school - they actually taught us that condoms do not work to stop the spread of HIV, though they *might* work to keep you from getting pregnant, it was really a toss-up and they “shouldn’t be relied on”.

Hell, they taught us the same thing that my public school. Granted, I went to school in the Deep South.

This is good news indeed. And I agree, there’s nothing particularly worrisome about teenagers having consensual, pleasurable sex with other teenagers.

One thing about the Plan B girl though. There are always going to be young people who are doing silly or unrealistic things with respect to sex. This is something of a subset of “teenagers do stupid things” and I actually think that we all have to be careful about bringing ourselves into a moral panic just because some teenagers are engaging in dumb behavior.

The condom statistics tell us sex education is working. We need more of it. But a certain amount of dumb teenage behavior is inevitable no matter what we do.

right now with things being as bad as they are, people are a lot less “baby ambivalent,”

MP, there’s been a drastic reduction in the overall birthrate here in America for the last few years, as TPM wrote about a few days ago:

A new Pew report details a sharp decline in fertility rates across the United States that appears closely tied to the economic recession that hit the country in approximately 2007.

The correlation between a faltering economy and the national birth rate is nothing new. What is astounding, however, is that the birth rate for almost every state has dropped dramatically. In 2007, the country experienced a record number of births, 4,316,233. Since then, following one of the worst recessions the U.S. has ever seen, Pew’s provisional data shows that the number of births in 2010 was just 4,007,000.

Every time someone has an unauthorized orgasm, it is an offense against God and Country.

The holocaust of undeserved pleasure must be stopped by any means necessary, or else civilization as we know it will cease*.

Be a Good American and remain pure.  Stay brave and clean in the face of carnal temptation.  Do not give in to your primitive urges.  Reject the unholy advances of others, and make none yourself.  The fate of this great nation lies in your hands…

(*Based on information obtained from the Gingrich-Santorum-Bachmann-Ratzinger Colonic Statistics and Meme Society, Anal Orifice Division, which states that, “No civilization in history has survived while allowing unrestricted sexual activity among its members.”)

Hmmm, I can see Plan B as “Plan A” since it’s OTC. That way, you never have to admit out loud to anyone—even to a doctor person—that yer doin it. (The oblivious cashier at the CVS is only looking for the barcode, anyway.) That way, nobody knows what a slutty slut slut you are, which is worth the extra cost. Ah, the shame-based economy!

Plan B isn’t going to help protect you from STDs, so I think that’s a pretty stupid Plan A.

AND you don’t or can’t do barrier methods,

Like, for example, you’re pushing the misogynist viewpoint that only sluts use them to avoid getting SlutDiseases? If you legitimately have like, a latex allergy and are a vegan and can’t use lambskin and the polyurethane condoms aren’t carried then fine. But don’t write a blog post about how You Use An Expensive Form of Back-Up Birthcontrol As Your Primary Birth Control Because, You Know, You’re a Good Girl.

Prior to Plan B hitting the market, I wouldn’t do barrier methods exclusively because I was too afraid of breakage. But that’s what Plan B is for. So you might have to shell out ... dammit—CVS and RiteAid refuse to display the cost of Plan B on their websites, PP says it’s between “$10 and $70” which is more than a condom… but that’s the backup. The Plan B, if you will.

Teen pregnancy was more prevalent in the 1950s-60s, because there were only barrier methods available, and there was no legalized abortion.

Add in lack of sex education, and that condoms were the only barrier method readily available to teens—the pill was actually illegal for all but married women through a good part of the ‘60s.

I couldn’t have gone to my pediatrician for the pill, or even a diaphragm, without the fear of my parents being notified.

There was also no Planned Parenthood in the neighborhood, and if there were in a larger city, I wasn’t aware of it.

Hence, a rash of teen pregnancies, and teen marriages, or girls disappeared to another state into homes for unwed mothers.

When abortion finally became legal in a nearby state, one of my younger sister’s friends was sent there by her minister, no less—that was the beginning of the decline in teen pregnancies, along with the more ready availability of the birth control pill.

Teen pregnancy was more prevalent in the 1950s-60s, because there were only barrier methods available, and there was no legalized abortion.

Add in lack of sex education, and that condoms were the only barrier method readily available to teens—the pill was actually illegal for all but married women through a good part of the ‘60s.

I couldn’t have gone to my pediatrician for the pill, or even a diaphragm, without the fear of my parents being notified.

There was also no Planned Parenthood in the neighborhood, and if there were in a larger city, I wasn’t aware of it.

Hence, a rash of teen pregnancies, and teen marriages, or girls disappeared to another state into homes for unwed mothers.

When abortion finally became legal in a nearby state, one of my younger sister’s friends was sent there by her minister, no less—that was the beginning of the decline in teen pregnancies, along with the more ready availability of the birth control pill.

Sorry about the double post.

God, xoJane is terrible. Isn’t it? Isn’t it really fucking terrible? Did anyone else read the article about the woman who is obsessed with monitoring her husband’s masturbation habits by constantly checking their bottle of lube to see if he’s used any of it?

I’ve taken Plan B before, and each time, it made me feel nauseous. Plus it’s expensive and I think it’s only around 75 or 80% effective, while regular hormonal birth control is over 99% effective when taken correctly.

That way, you never have to admit out loud to anyone—even to a doctor person—that yer doin it. (The oblivious cashier at the CVS is only looking for the barcode, anyway.)

Not how buying Plan B works. They keep it behind the counter and you have to ask for it. Many retailers wouldn’t even allow men to buy it for their partners until they were required to by law.

This article makes me super, super happy.  I love the idea of teens using more condoms, being more responsible and better-informed about sex, and not getting pregnant.  I also agree with MPG that the “Teen Mom”/“Pregnant at 16” shows are, far from the encouragement to teen parenthood that the concern-troll media keep presenting them as, an excellent way to show how much an unplanned pregnancy can derail all the things you planned for, and more importantly to teenagers, be a real drag when you want to go out and have fun.

I grew up with the guys that used to complain about using condoms because they hated the feel, and did anything they could to wheedle a girl out of having to use them - it’s nice to see today’s teenage boys being a hell of a lot more responsible.  And sex is fun - why the hell shouldn’t teens have it when they want (as long as they’re safe, protected, and not coerced)?  Even though I was a bit older when I finally had sex, I was very interested by the time I was 13, and would happily have had sex with a willing partner.  Please, I know it’s a lot to ask, but let this generation of teens grow up without the sex-shaming that we had to endure.

Here, MikeEss, take my shiny new internetz.  And my keyboard, although the soda spewed all over it probably makes it inoperable.

Condoms make possible for women to have as much fun as they want without getting pregnant. So in a world with condoms, women are not limited to be either repressed or human incubators.

Moreover, condoms refute the idea that sex is some sacred gift that women reserve for the right man, and that once you give it away, you’re a worthless, second-hand slut. Instead, condoms establish the idea that sex is a healthy and fun activity that people simply do because it feels good, thus freeing women from that sexual control imposed by that ideology. It’s a nice way out to virtually everything conservatives tell women about sex. No wonder they’re against condoms.

MikeEss - surely there are no authorized orgasms?  I expect Rick Santorum has figured out how to impregnate his wife without indulging in any unholy pleasure for either of them.

I realize that’s a lot of factors combining into the mother of all corner cases, but maybe not all that uncommon, especially with the last factor: Planned Parenthood services aren’t feasibly available everywhere, and the religious right has managed to convince people PP is evil. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that some would rather have occasional sex and pay $40 a pop for Plan B than darken PP’s doorstep and join the hordes of dirty abortion-loving sluts.

Given that the same people who consider PP the last resort of dirty abortion-loving sluts also consider Plan B to be abortion, I find that a pretty far-fetched proposition.

I took Plan B once. It was a rather awful experience. Severe nausea and cramps for two days.
I know not everyone experiences such strong side effects, but the idea of using it as a substitute for regular birth control is mind-boggling to me.

Oh, and the condom news made me really happy. Using condoms means being relaxed enough about sexuality that you don’t have to engage in some weird magical thinking where you pretend that you didn’t plan it and somehow got swept up in things. And they protect you from diseases. Yay for kids these days.

I expect Rick Santorum has figured out how to impregnate his wife without indulging in any unholy pleasure for either of them.

Well, I certainly expect that his wife doesn’t experience any unholy pleasure.

I still can’t decide if the original article was serious or just a very bad attempt at satire. Either way it is just a disaster of writing in general

Which is weird, ‘cause conservatives are pretty convinced that we’re in the middle of some massive, unprecedented epidemic of teen pregnancy.

Has anyone pointed out to them that Mary was an unmarried teenager when she got knocked up?

PiaToR—that’s sort of an undercurrent of their philosophy, in fact. I mean, they say such amazingly stupid things as “what if Jesus had been aborted” (which sort of tips their hand that they don’t actually believe Mary was a Virgin). So every fetus is a future cancer-curer (as long as they don’t try to cure cervical cancer, of course), and never a future serial-killer. The teenager in question is always a secret Awesome Mom Waiting To Be Unleashed and never a future cancer-curer herself who might need to go to college so she can take those organic chem courses and such.

The teenager in question is always a secret Awesome Mom Waiting To Be Unleashed and never a future cancer-curer herself who might need to go to college so she can take those organic chem courses and such.

Of course not, silly.  Women can’t Do Things. They’re just there to take care of the house while the men-folk Do Things. And if they do wind up going to, say, law school and having a career, it’s only because their husbands told them to.

I’m not surprised.

I have two teen boys at home.  I make condoms freely available, and tell them that I don’t care if I am supplying the entire high school.

I know, however, that I’m not the only parent who does this.  While some older and “progressive” parents are of the opinion that they really would like their kid to come to them and have a heart to heart talk before they actually had sex (as if! right.  really.  uh huh ... I had trouble not laughing, yes ...), most of my sons’ immigrant friends, Catholics, all,  are expected to carry condoms around in their backpacks and were given them to pack before their eighth grade school trip to NYC! 

Generation X was one of the best educated groups when it came to sex ... why shouldn’t we protect our kids?

PiaToR, she wasn’t just a teen mother, but a rape victim.

Yet the church that venerates her also likes to play the “boys can’t control themselves so its up to girls to say no”.  Mary was not given any such option as “no”.

@Ms Kate/29: just curious—does the “as if” apply to the idea that these parents don’t really want their kids to talk to them before they have sex, or to the idea that kids would ever talk to their parents about the decision to have sex?  Because the latter isn’t that crazy—Dutch kids apparently talk to their parents about sex—the idea being that if you’re mature enough to have sex, you should be able to sit down with your parents and demonstrate said maturity.  Seemed like an awesome idea to me.

I mean it “as if that’s going to happen”.  Ideally, yes, it should be that way ... in reality, I’d not want my kid NOT wanting to talk to me to get in the way of protecting himself and his partner.

Knowing her kid as well, I don’t think such a conversation would be likely.  If my kids had that little impulse control, I’d make sure they had free access and no excuses.

Plan B is the only form of over-the-counter hormonal birth control I’m aware of in the United States.

Plan B is no longer available; it’s been discontinued by the manufacturer. Instead you have Plan B One-Step and Nextime (1 pill dose) available behind the counter in pharmacies (Plan B One-Step) and on Amazon (both).

You also have Next Choice and Postinor (2 pill dose; disregard label instructions and take both pills at the same time, asap after the unprotected intercourse) available behind the counter (Next Choice) and on Amazon (both).

Finally, for completeness, you have ella (1 pill dose) available by prescription only. [Have your Ob/Gyn write an advanced prescription and keep it handy. I think shelf life is ~2 yrs.]

PiaToR, she wasn’t just a teen mother, but a rape victim.

Well, apart from the fact that (accoring to the Babble) (a) she agreed to the proposal (Luke 1:38) and (b) the sex was bukkake and not penetration (Luke 1:35).  You know, apart from those teeny tiny minor quibbles…

gretchen @ 21:MikeEss - surely there are no authorized orgasms?  I expect Rick Santorum has figured out how to impregnate his wife without indulging in any unholy pleasure for either of them.

Probably using this.

Uh, can a 13-15 year old girl really give consent to sex with a deity? Methinks the power imbalance would be prohibitive!

Uh, can a 13-15 year old girl really give consent to sex with a deity?

Well, to break it down, “13-15 year old” didn’t describe a girl back then; it described a marrigable woman.

And as to whether anybody can meaningfully “give consent” to a god that is supposedly (a) omniscient and (b) created the world is something that can exercise philosophers for centuries.  Supposedly, God arranged for a pious and compliant Jewish teenager to be there at the right time to be knocked up - whether or not she (or anyone) had any free will in the matter will require a better definition of terms.

On a side note:

You might wanna consider what would happen if someone came up with a pheremone after-shave that actually worked - one whiff, and women would really and truly want to jump the wearer’s bones.  Note - they wouldn’t be tricked into it; it would be exactly the same sort of lust they might feel normally on seeing a hot guy that appealed to them.  You can reverse the genders here if you like.

There’s a huge disconnect between our concept of ourselves as free-willed autonomous entities and what science (and marketing) is telling us about how we actually make decisions, a disconnect which is being exploited every day.

Or, if you have a strong stomach, try reading this book.

Because the latter isn’t that crazy—Dutch kids apparently talk to their parents about sex—the idea being that if you’re mature enough to have sex, you should be able to sit down with your parents and demonstrate said maturity.  Seemed like an awesome idea to me.

I had pretty cool parents who didn’t give me any shaming messages about sex and made sure I had access to lots of accurate information about birth control, and I was going to be damned before I talked to them about having sex. Some kids, some parents, that’s how their relationship works. Good for them. But lots of kids, lots of parents, it isn’t. I don’t think having a heart-to-heart with mom and dad before you do the deed is the only measure of maturity. Being able to take care of birth control without involving your parents is also a sign of maturity. It is, after all, what most adults do.

Well, I’m here to tell you that it may just be that Cat is an outlier, because the overall trend is towards more condom use, not less.

I credit the internet.

I used Plan B twice and I think the second time I had a little nausea, nothing terrible, only problem I had was the first pharmacy “running out” (I have no idea if this was actually true - could’ve been, it is also a common “I have a moral objection to Plan B but don’t want trouble, so I’ll say we’re out” tactic by anti-choicers) and having to go to a second one, luckily within a short drive. Plus it has been to be distributed over the counter by the pharmacist, not necessarily just the random cashier who doesn’t care about your business.

Plus, Cat was saying that she used Plan B up to 3x a month, which is definitely not cheaper than an OB-GYN visit + pills - even expensive new ones.

But when are the only choices birth control pills (I guess including Plan B-type of OTC pills?), condoms and abortions? There is a bright wonderful world of alternatives here! Depo! Nuvarings! IUDs! My Implanon is about the best thing I ever decided to spend money on. I do think that if we have a population that doesn’t think they’ll remember a pill daily and definitely doesn’t want kids for more than a year, we need to be pushing alternatives HARD rather than ‘well here are some tips to remember a daily pill!’

If you legitimately have like, a latex allergy and are a vegan and can’t use lambskin and the polyurethane condoms aren’t carried then fine.

Regular plan b use might be on par money-wise with using polyurethane condoms. Those things are fucking expensive and shitty.

My Implanon is about the best thing I ever decided to spend money on

I had a girlfriend once who got Implanon. We were both pretty happy about it, especially her since she basically stopped having periods. (That particular side effect apparently occurs in fewer than 1 in 3 women who use it, so don’t necessarily count on it as a perk, but I suppose you can certainly hope for it. ).

This whole conversation reminded me that I forgot to stick some morning-after pills in my daughter’s bag this weekend when she was visiting from college. Dang it. As far as I know she has never been sexually active- I don’t deny that she might not be open with me, but it really really is unlikely considering her attitude about sex in general, and having had only one boyfriend which was a very casual relationship. When I went to PP for my girlie-visit and to get the Pill, they not only gave me a whole year’s worth of pills (free!) they gave me a big handful of MAP packets, probably about six.

You know, it just occurred to me that the current efforts against birth control becoming popularized have more or less coincided with the advent of birth control methods that will suppress periods. I know that the anti-choice has always felt that pregnancy itself was a punishment for having sex, but I feel like the mask is slipping a bit and we can see just how much they hate women full stop when they suddenly get all pissy about birth control now that it means women’s don’t have to endure God’s Punishment every month.

What cracks me up about this is that Plan B seems to be basically equivalent to taking five birth control pills worth of progestin. It’s not like it’s magically different stuff when you just take a lot of it at once. If someone was really determined they could replicate the effects of Plan B by taking the right kind of minipill in the right quantity.

People like this make me happy that they let nulliparous women get IUDs now. People who are too ambivalent about sex to do anything proactive about it still seem to get it on in surprising numbers.

Good news on the teens using condoms front. It’s regrettable that xojane relies on the trainwreck that is Cat Marnell for pageviews. Seriously read any of her other pieces—they’re all brimming with cries for help. I can’t even read it anymore because it’s actually really not funny that this person who is in serious need of mental health services is presented for the lulz. I really, really think she’s an outlier, for this reason alone.

As far as I know, poly condoms have a lower physical failure rate than latex; which is why they made the inverse ‘female’ condoms as well.

You might not like them, but that’s no reason to cuss at them.  I rather prefer poly to latex.  It’s tougher.

I read about this Plan B scandal on a different blog, and we’re not quite sure but it seems that she might just be trolling to drive up page views.

But if she really is sincere that Plan B is her main form of birth control, then I just have to say I’m damn thankful that it exists.  No baby should be subjected to a parent who is that irresponsible.  While conservatives would want to punish her for being foolish, I just want to save a potential baby from having an irresponsible parent.  And this is always the case.  Even with the mythical straw-woman of a stupid slut who has abortions for fun, it’s still better for that person to not have a baby.  The people who “deserve” an unwanted baby the most are also the ones who should not be parents.  If conservatives really cared about babies as much as they claim, they wouldn’t want to force them onto women who don’t want a(nother) baby for any reason.

Ah, but bananacat, the damned slut is supposed to

a)  give up the precious baybee to a deserving, deserving couple to love and raise it, or

b)  have the precious little angel turn her sinful, slutty life around to holy righteousness, or

c)  suffer in hardship for her sin, and contribute another worker to the desperate underclass.

Take your pick.

</conservative>

Regarding the Plan B thing—if you’re having sex infrequently, and you’re confident enough that you and your partner are disease-free to forgo barriers, then one-time hormone dosing may be better than cyclical (pill, patch, Nuvaring, whatever).  Those can really do a number on your libido, among other side effects which range from annoying to potentially life-threatening. 

Provided you don’t take really huge risks with the efficacy (for example, having sex when you know you’re ovulating and then taking Plan B to prevent implantation), it might be a not-totally horrible strategy.  It seems like it would be less hassle and cheaper to just deal with the unappealing condom instead of going through all that trouble, but that’s a personal decision.

It seems to me like her birth control strategy is “tell him to pull out, and if he doesn’t or if I don’t tell him too because I’m an idiot, get Plan B”.  Which is risky and stupid, but I know I’ve done it.  Yeah, yeah, stupid, and I was damn lucky to not get pregnant.  But I know that I can’t be the only idiot who’s done that, and she seems to be one too.  I don’t think that she literally uses Plan B every time she has sex.

But now that I’ve made myself look like an irresponsible idiot in the comment section, I do want to rave about IUDs.  I know that when I first became sexually active all the info on them was that they’d only install one if you had been pregnant.  But this is no longer true!  I heard from a friend that she got a Mirena and she’s never been pregnant, so I asked my doctor about it when I went in and she said that they can absolutely do it.  Now I’ve had bad experiences with hormonal BC in the past and I have blessedly light periods, so I went with the Paragard which is the copper IUD.  But Mirena is supposed to be super low dosage so most people who have problems with hormonal BC won’t have problems with it.  And they are great.  No maintenance whatsoever, incredibly effective, and they last for ages.  And no one ever talks about them, and they should.  Go IUDs!!

Ohhh wow. That girl needs some *help*. My brain and heart hurt for her—she is messed in all kinds of ways. Someone done her wrong. Lots of people, actually, from the look of it.

XOJane should be ashamed of themselves for giving her that title and letting her just go on flagellating herself so very publicly…and dragging unwitting women down with her.

@crissa: Less breakage yes, but in my experience more slippage. All of which is manageable if they didn’t cost so damn much.

Back in 1970, hormone dosage in pill was too high for me.

Multiple yeast infections from copper 7 iud.

The more sophisticated barrier methods worked for me, especially in combo: foam and cervical cap (much easier to use than diaphraphm.)

I used the diaphram for a while between kid 1 and 2 due to issues with pills (used between trying types, oh joy).  Using it was a pain-ackward, messy, a break in the action (unless done ahead) always wondering if it were really in the right place. 
Condoms were much less so the first, second and third, and not at all the last.  You could damn well see it was there and if it had slipped/torn or not.  Also, my body wasn’t really thrilled with the foam either but didn’t seem to mind the condom-friendly spermicide lubes.

The main obstacle to the fucking in the streets that conservatives worry so much about is getting people to do it with you.

That does somewhat suggest that slut-shaming is indeed the bulwark against constant orgies that its proponents claim it to be.

At least, I tell myself the reason women aren’t lining up to fuck me is fear of being called sluts.

I’ve taken Plan B twice, and it’s really not at all fun. It effectively kick-starts a period, and at least in my experience the two times I’ve taken it, the cramps are worse than they are during a normal period. It almost seems like Cat Marnell is choosing Plan B as a pregnancy-prevention strategy so that any “nights of sin” she gets are followed up with physical discomfort and pain.

NetaMiriam makes an excellent point.  Physical suffering as the Guilt-B-Gone!

All I can think from this conversation is how much pregnancy management changes over the years.  That Plan B is even a viable option for someone now?  Who would’ve predicted it?

Ah, but bananacat, the damned slut is supposed to

a)  give up the precious baybee to a deserving, deserving couple to love and raise it

Bienvenido a España!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-15335899

(If that article doesn’t make you throw up…)

At least, I tell myself the reason women aren’t lining up to fuck me is fear of being called sluts.

No, women aren’t lining up to fuck you because women don’t like sex. You have to trick them into it, or at least get them drunk first. Don’t just stand around expecting them to notice your pretty face, and definitely don’t try to have conversations with them like you would with normal people. That just tells them you’re not interested in them sexually.

NetaMiriam, yeah, I didn’t want to be the one to say the words “hormone-addled gorefest”, but that’s been my experience with the stuff too. And if your mood is sensitive to hormonal changes in the first place, taking Plan B during what is pretty much guaranteed to be a high-stress time is going to make everything way, way worse.

You know what’s really interesting about this? There’s a lot of historical precedent for combining abstinence, withdrawal, and some kind of emergency medication to “bring on a period” as a contraceptive strategy. I’m reading Kate Fisher’s Birth control, sex and marriage in Britain, 1918-1960 right now, and there are several really interesting chapters about this - it was the favored method in many working-class communities in that place and time. Fisher posits based on interviews that that combination maintained an impression of female sexual naivete by reinforcing male control over contraception, holding sexual avoidance as a preferred mode of behavior, and separating the act of preventing a pregnancy from the act of having sex through the use of after-the-fact medication. It’s really interesting on a social level - if sad and worrisome on a personal level - that someone would choose to recreate this birth control strategy in today’s environment.

I’m glad that the message “Use condoms” is still getting through. Especially since that message has been under explicit, sustained attack for years. Pessimistically, I would have expected abstinence education to have destroyed condom use among teens. Really happy to find out it hasn’t.

judybrowni @ 14: I recently found out that Christian homes for unwed mothers are still a thing. Really surprised me. What breaks my heart is many of the testimonials from girls and women on those maternity homes’ websites. They all talk about how they knew they couldn’t face their family or their small town, or their parents kicked them out of the house.

The maternity homes provide shelter, safety, nutrition, medical care, basic education (GED courses), job training, and life skills training. But that support structure comes with mandatory religious indoctrination, denial of abortion rights, and varying levels of loss of personal freedom—one such maternity home forbids cell phones and internet, and restricts visits to once weekly, length of visit dependent on length of time you’ve been in the maternity home. You can write letters. (I half suspect they read your letters.)

Is there an option that provides that level of support without the religious indoctrination? I kind of want to start a secular maternity home now.

How do they reconcile providing job training and prohibiting Internet access?

Just a minor quibble with the comments about polyisoprene condoms at #47. They are just as effective as latex condoms. Some people like them better because they are thinner; some people like them less because they aren’t as stretchy. So, “shitty” is a matter of opinion.

Also, the female condom used to be made of polyisoprene, but the new generation (the FC2) is made of nitrile because it is cheaper, feels more natural, and doesn’t make that plastic-bag noise. The FC1 is no longer on the market.

/HIV educator