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Next entry: Wow! Previous entry: Don’t forget!

Cooking: still domestic drudgery for most

Food

This article by Megan McArdle on the gap between American cooking fantasies and cooking realities is prevented from being truly interesting by McArdle’s inability to understand that most Americans don’t live in bubbles where they and all their friends are fairly wealthy.  She relies on statistics that are drawn from the public at large when determining how much less time people are spending in the kitchen, of course, but then turns around and assumes that owning top end appliances and fancy kitchen gadgets that cost hundreds of dollars to do one thing is typical for Americans.  It’s a shame her worldview is so limited by wealth and privilege, because I think she does brush up against an interesting paradox, where Americans are spending more time thinking about cooking while spending less time actually doing it.

Her article is all about the kitchen as conspicuous consumption for wealthy people—-thousands of dollars of knives that don’t leave their display blocks, high end ovens used to store clothes, kitchens that have open plans that look great but make actual cooking a pain in the ass—-but I’m more fascinated by the working and middle class interest in food that’s also on the rise while actual hours cooking are down.  There’s not just a surge in unused fancy stoves being sold, but you also have the Food Network, the explosion in food magazines that shun the intimidating Gourmet aesthetic, the existence of Martha Stewart, food blogs—-forms of food porn that suit the incomes of people who don’t have the kind of money that McArdle thinks comes standard with a U.S. birth certificate.  And this is more interesting, because rich people buying fancy shit to show off is nothing new, but not-rich people engaging in media about cooking and food speaks to more than simply showing off how much money you have. 

I think a lot of it is that we are the land of good intentions. We claim we’re going to church, but we’re not.*  We write New Year’s resolutions. We buy books and forget to read them.  We start projects and don’t finish them.  It’s not that we don’t have time, exactly.  We certainly have time to watch TV.  It’s just that stuff we “should” do gets characterized as work, and no one wants to work for a living and then go home and do a bunch of work for free.  We want to have fun—-and god dammit, we do in fact deserve it—-and TV is fun. I’m as guilty as anyone—-right now, I have art that needs to be hung, a carpet that needs to be laid out, and balcony that needs to be arranged.  I’ll probably get to it soon.  Hopefully in part because I just outed myself.

I think cooking touches on both the urge to be more productive around the house, but it’s also about our bodies and health, and if it wasn’t in the past, it sure is now.  I doubt there’s many of us left who don’t think about the fact that food eaten out tends to be more calorie-dense while less nutritious than what you’re likely to cook at home, even if you’re making the crap that is often featured on some of the more bafflingly popular Food Network shows.  We all want to be “better” at this, so we spend more time and money thinking about it—-watching Food Network, buying food magazines, and yes, buying expensive kitchen gadgets.  But cooking is still work.  It’s still constructed as a chore.  Which is why I think Megan’s piece kind of fell apart, besides the class issues.  She claims that all these food porn things are about believing cooking is fun—-a leisure activity—-but if that were true, I think people would actually be doing more of it.  I think these food porn industries are being driven by aspirations, in the same category as gym memberships that go unused and musical instruments that collect dust. 

But I do think that if cooking were in fact viewed more as a pleasurable way to spend time, instead of a chore that you should be doing but just aren’t, then more of it would be done.  Of course, I have no clue what it would take to get there.  God knows my own experience isn’t helpful; I have always been someone who has boundary issues between what is “work” and what is “play”, which I think is typical of hardcore bloggers as a group.

*The nice thing about being an atheist is that what you want to do lines up neatly with your desires.  If you believe, as I do, that religion is actually immoral for being based on a lie, it’s awesome, because you get to live your morals by sleeping in on Sunday.

 

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Posted by Amanda Marcotte on 07:33 PM • (81) Comments

I think you are absolutely right that most people regard cooking as work and that detracts from actually doing it, as opposed to thinking about it.  I think it is also the case that many people in the working classes are increasingly pressed for time, which compounds the issue.  For me, it is not an issue as I enjoy cooking and think of it as a “fun” activity which allows me to eat more interesting and exotic food at an affordable price (which I think is a big part of the attraction of food porn).

Comment #1: DrDick  on  04/13  at  08:24 PM

fully agree, and would add that i think this plays out much differently for people who only cook for themselves (or maybe for a partner) vs those who cook for a family.  i’m in the first category and i’m free to love cooking because i’m free not to do it when i don’t want to, or to do it more or less or differently on different days as per my mood and the time i feel like investing in it… my partner and i share cooking duties and aren’t fussy about what time we eat so it’s a no-obligation thing.  i think i’m in the category that megan mcardle is trying to address. 

my mom comes home from work and *has* to put together dinner for my family right away or they all turn into babies.  that doesn’t have much to do with her state of mind.  plus no one helps her clean up afterwards, and doing dishes is never not going to be a chore.  (unlike, again, my partner and i who have a firm “i cook / you clean” rule.)  this leads her to want to get the thing done as quickly as possible and while dirtying as few dishes as possible, because they will be waiting for her when everyone else sits down to watch TV.  yeah, it’s a serious drag.  throw in some old-school ladyguilt for not cooking pot roasts and 4 different vegetables every night the way her mom did growing up, and on top of it some guilt for hating cooking when she knows she’s ‘supposed to enjoy it’ because look how pretty gianna de lauretis is, and you’ve got a toxic emotional stew - and no actual home-made stew, which would take way too long and make a big mess and require grocery shopping. 

so maybe the flipside of that optimism is guilt, and that’s a factor too.

TL;DR.  so, yeah.  until cooking doesn’t rest as a duty on the lady of the house, and until the “how you feed your kids” question isn’t so wrapped up in guilt and messed-up body garbage, i think there’s only so much progress we’re going to make on the “cooking is awesome, enjoy it!” front.  it’s easy to overstate how much a particular mindset is to blame.

Comment #2: livinginthepost  on  04/13  at  08:41 PM

There are several people I know who love cooking, and every last one of them is wealthier than average. I think that’s part of the aspiration, too—loving to cook is seen as an activity for the rich, and Americans all want to be rich.

The problem you run into is that for a lot of people, cooking is housework. It has to be done day after day, whether you’re feeling inspired or not, and usually for a rather unappreciative audience, and it’s almost always the same person who has to do it. That’s what frustrates people about it. There are very few people out there who genuinely love housework.

Comment #3: sophronia  on  04/13  at  08:46 PM

I remember watching the debut episode of Morgan Spurlock’s “30 Days” when he and his fiance (a vegan chef) agreed to try to live on minimum wage for 30 days. She, being a vegan and a professional chef, thought she’d do pretty well in the cooking healthy meals department, but of course, she lacked much of the basic equipment (especially a crockpot which at $30-$40 would have been a huge chunk of their income not going to rent). So, she had to rely on second hand pots and pans from Goodwill (as many people must) and of course, they were doing this experiment relying on public transportation in a mid-sized Mid-Western city, so finding fresh food within their radius of cheap apartment/minimum wage jobs was really difficult. Every woman applying for WIC or every person applying for Food Stamps should get a voucher for a crock-pot & a decent set of pots/pans as well…although that would be helpful and goodness knows anything helpful for the working-poor is evil.

Comment #4: Thealogian  on  04/13  at  09:13 PM

my mom comes home from work and *has* to put together dinner for my family right away or they all turn into babies.  that doesn’t have much to do with her state of mind.  plus no one helps her clean up afterwards, and doing dishes is never not going to be a chore. 

Christ. Intellectually I’ve always known there are families like this. But it’s hard for me to imagine being that way. I actually feel privileged having grown up with a mother who didn’t have any problem enlisting her children to do “her” job for her, so I learned things like cooking and laundry early on. I know a lot of people don’t really put a lot of thought into the fact that their preconceived gender roles are putting a lot of unfair burdens on certain people, and they’re not really deliberately being inconsiderate. But like I said, that’s why I feel privileged in that sense.

Comment #5: Triplanetary  on  04/13  at  09:26 PM

I love to cook, it’s the cleaning up afterwards that I hate. 

Seriously, I would probably cook more ofter if the dishes did themselves.

Comment #6: phinky  on  04/13  at  10:37 PM

Off-thread:  Have you SEEN this?!

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704415104576250672504707048.html?mod=googlenews_wsj

Comment #7: hbsweet, empress of ice cream  on  04/13  at  10:52 PM

I love to cook, but there are nights it is definitely more a chore than a pleasure.

Comment #8: Mighty Ponygirl  on  04/13  at  10:53 PM

If people worked a 30 hour work week, they’d be able to enjoy cooking because they’d have more time.  And if more people lived with a partner and/or children, they’d enjoy cooking more because they’d have someone to tell them what they cooked is ‘tasty’.  But in the meantime, it would be nice if there were a larger variety of canned foods.  For dinner tonight I ate a bowl of Cheerios and a can of sardines.  Yesterday it was chips, salsa, and some cottage cheese.  Last time I got fancy I fried some ahi tuna which smoked like hell and set off the fire alarm.  So until I move in with someone or start working fewer hours it’d be nice to have a larger variety of canned food.  Keep it simple.

Comment #9: Miguel Bloomfontosis  on  04/13  at  11:27 PM

Theologian @4, being a vegan I can’t imagine cooking without a food processor. The crockpot isn’t so essential for me, but I imagine if I were trying to live on minimum wage it’d be super useful for making cheap stews and soups.

Cooking vegan is cheap in terms of ingredients, but expensive in equiptment and time. But it’s an excellent way to learn how to cook, because you’ve got fuck all in the way of prepared foods to rely on.

Comment #10: KristinMH  on  04/13  at  11:50 PM

Too bad their isn’t a way to move all the unused appliances to people that mint really use them.  Same thing seems to happen with a lot of exercise equipment, their is a lot of nice unused bikes and other stuff sitting around peoples homes that would probably be used by other people.

Comment #11: John Rove  on  04/14  at  12:30 AM

Guide to a happy two-person kitchen:
Two equally good chef’s knives. (Although they can be different lengths if that is how they like it.) You really don’t want to be fighting over who has the Wustoff, and who has the one that your mom got when she opened a bank account in college.
A sink which isn’t in a corner, so that two people can access it at the same time. (Or else two sinks.) It also helps if two people can load the dishwasher (if you have one) at the same time. So don’t put it in a corner either.
Lots of cutting boards. (At least two large, and two small.)
Two of each of the following: vegetable peelers, and paring knives. Two people can really cut down the amount of time it takes for prep work, but not if there aren’t enough tools.
Extra oven mitts, or anything else which tends to wander about from the kitchen to the dining room/eating area. (For us this also includes pepper grinders, and, oddly enough, kitchen timers.)
Two wearable kitchen timers, so you know that the beeping around you neck means that your dish needs checking on, and you avoid “what does the beeper on the stove mean?”.
Two tea balls, if you drink loose-leaf tea.

Comment #12: Aardvark  on  04/14  at  12:57 AM

Thealogian - not quite.  There is a program that does almost exactly what you are suggesting - no, not the new pots, but a bit of help in the where and how to find cooking stuff cheaply, how to cook, how to meal plan, and well…most kitchen tasks.  Anyway, it’s through the Extension Service in all 50 states IIRC (I worked for them many years ago). ANd they recruit their clients through food stamps and WIC.  NO cost.

http://www.csrees.usda.gov/nea/food/efnep/efnep.html

Comment #13: phylosopher  on  04/14  at  01:35 AM

I love to cook, it’s the cleaning up afterwards that I hate.

Seriously, I would probably cook more ofter if the dishes did themselves.

Dishes are absolutely the worst, especially when making dishes that involve a lot of chopped up ingredients that have to be stored in something to make room on the cutting board.  Though for that I’m gonna start just putting plastic wrap in tupperware and storing them in that, to avoid having to wash anything.

Comment #14: Toitle  on  04/14  at  03:32 AM

Strangely enough, I’m crap at cooking, but i don’t mind the cleaning up.

My gf had her birthday at New Year, with a dozen people over, and cooked her heart out for them, leaving the place a hell of a mess when we finally staggered to bed.  She was shocked to find me just finishing off the dishes when she got herself out of bed in the morning.

Comment #15: Phoenician in a time of Romans  on  04/14  at  03:51 AM

“But I do think that if cooking were in fact viewed more as a pleasurable way to spend time, instead of a chore that you should be doing but just aren’t, then more of it would be done.”

Speaking from personal experience, cooking is a pleasure, instead of a chore. (Dishes, however, are a completely other matter!) I was raised by a single dad, and by the time our collective days ended, the time we had to spend together was the time in the kitchen, when he was cooking. If I didn’t have to do homework, I was enlisted to help with cutting, chopping, stirring, etc. Dad made it fun to cook (unlike when I was at my maternal grandparents house, where it was just another “chore”). He turned it into a bonding time, and a time I hold dear to my heart. 

As an adult, I find solace in cooking, as it reminds me of times with Dad. In the past few years, I’ve gone from unabashed omnivore to a vegetarian. Because of that, I can’t make the same comfort dishes I ate/cooked growing up. So I’ve gone to the internet in search of recipes that are *close enough* to what I ate growing up.

And I’ve come across the same blocks. I don’t have the time, nor do I have the “right” utensils. If I were non-experienced in cooking, I would be put off by all of the food blogs and recipes I’ve found. And if I were just starting out, in the kitchen and cooking? I’d say, “Screw this! We’re ordering in!” (I mean, really, “use your mandoline to shred the cabbage whilst the beans are at a slow boil” ... if I were just starting out I would have to ask, “what the eff is a mandoline?!” and, “does slow boil mean the water just has bubbles, or is it bubbling over?”)

I love the food blogs that give you quick and easy one-or-two-pot recipes. Sadly, the ones I have found include a lot of frying/butter, and aren’t the healthiest. The “healthy” and veggie-friendly ones that I have found, preclude me from trying, due to time constraints. Or lack of access to the right preparation utensils.

So ... I love cooking; it’s my meditation. And I still cook in, more often than not. But when I try to find some culinary inspiration online, I find myself throwing my hands up in frustration. Because the current recipes I find are filled with fancy-schmancy tools, and the ones of my childhood are filled with meat as the main ingredient.

Comment #16: AnniThyme  on  04/14  at  04:22 AM

My wife is lucky in that I love cooking, and I don’t mind cleaning up at all.

Where it gets unlucky is that I work evenings, and thus can’t cook most nights. That will soon change, but so it goes for now.

Comment #17: Matthew, Patron Saint of Affogato  on  04/14  at  04:56 AM

Husband and I have a deal: I plan meals and cook, he cleans.  This makes cooking easier, though I worry about leaving a big mess for him.

We have two kitchens: one at our main house, and another at a little cabin in a scenic area that we visit whenever we can get away for a few days.  Main house has a “normal” kitchen; nothing exceptional, just middle-of-the-road reliable appliances, but a decent amount of counter space and a dishwasher.  Cabin has a kitchen the size of a postage stamp, an ancient range, no dishwasher, and barely enough counter space to stack dirty dishes and have room left over for a cutting board.  Yet I’ve cooked some of my best meals there.  That’s partly because I have to drive 35 miles (one way) to the nearest grocery store, so I do plan more carefully.  But it’s also because there’s more TIME when we get away to the cabin.  At the main house, I crank on my thesis until my husband calls to tell me he’s on his way home from work; then I panic and throw something less-than-optimal together for dinner.  At the cabin, I’m still working on the thesis, but I notice the sun going down, sense a natural end to the day, see my husband hiking back from the mailboxes at the end of the street… and it’s time to start dinner.  And there’s time to do it right.

Good cooking takes time… mental time, not necessarily clock time.

Comment #18: GeoKaren  on  04/14  at  05:39 AM

The thing is, no matter how much spare time there is, or how much education there is, or how much of a food culture there is, cooking will still be something that some people won’t enjoy.  Not because they are lazy, or short of time, or lacking in knowledge, but simply because it’s not their thing.  It would be nice if there were facilities and good available for those people still to eat healthily - ready meals that don’t taste like cardboard, say, or fast food that isn’t made of crap.

I only have my own experience to go by, which of course is anecdotal, but I know that, for me, cooking meals is something I can get some enjoyment out of, if I have time, but it’s not something that I find fun, and it’s not lack of time or knowledge that makes that so.  I know this because I do love baking.  I enjoythe measuring, the mixing, the cooking, the decorating, the result - everything.  I do it for fun, when I don’t have to, because it is a leisure activity.  And I have never found that with any other form of cooking.  General, bog-standard, production of meals will always be work for me, albeit work that I don’t hate and sometimes find enjoyable.  And I’m sure I’m not the only one.

Comment #19: Katherine  on  04/14  at  08:18 AM

I think an important point is that reading about food and watching food TV are passive entertainment. You can still read about pies when you’re too tired to make pastry. And most people come home from work exhausted, or close to it. Yes, as you say, people have time to watch TV, but TV-watching requires only time, and not energy.

I love cooking, and knitting and writing and singing… and don’t often find time for any of them. If I get home half an hour’s verticality left in me, by the time I’ve fed the cats and done the minimum of other housework to keep the rats at bay, my time’s up. So I eat out a lot. And my work is only mentally taxing, not physically like a lot of people’s.

Comment #20: MissPrism  on  04/14  at  09:01 AM

I love cooking (something I learned from my dad; my mother can barely toast bread).  However, having time to cook properly can be a big problem, especially if you have a one and a five year old like we do.  Thus, having the time (or lack thereof) to cook determines whether I view dinner as a pleasure to be looked forward to or a chore to be dreaded.

Spending a Saturday afternoon making Alton Brown’s spicy meatloaf with garlic Parmesan mashed potatoes?  Pleasure.  Rushing to get something, anything prepared that doesn’t come out of a bag sold by a clown before the boy has to be at t-ball on a Thursday evening?  Chore.

Comment #21: prufrock  on  04/14  at  09:06 AM

livinginthepost - I’m baffled by your indication that stew is hard.  It is one of the easier things to make as all you need do is toss stuff in a pot (or crockpot) and let it cook.

I am one of those people who always liked cooking, to a point.  I understand even this is not universal.
It is much more enjoyable now that I have the money for the basic tools I need in decent quality and split the cooking pretty evenly with two other adults (soon to be three) rather than being the primary cook for two adults and two children as it was 24 to 10-ish years ago.  Even then, I was not the sole clean up person, ever.  The “have to do it” aspect really makes a difference in how enjoyable it is for me, as does the fact that if I’m running late someone else will just take care of it.

A note back to the previous food thread: My adult daughter is in the process of returning home for a bit while waiting to start grad school (and I’m betting into the process).  Her paella pan was in the drainer when I got home last night.

Comment #22: helen w. h.  on  04/14  at  09:15 AM

Miguel, I think that’s untrue on the “tasty” department.  Women do most of the cooking, and the first rule of patriarchy is no woman is ever good enough ever.  Thus, women do not get praised for cooking.  Women get criticized for not being good enough.  Having an audience means having a bunch of critics eager to pounce on someone female for not doing her feminine duties well enough.  This is such a steadfast rule that even my food threads—-where people can’t taste the food!—-have people griping about what a terrible cook I am.  I also am sure that I’m ugly, a bad housekeeper, and a bad mother to boot. Probably don’t do enough for my partner, either.

Comment #23: Amanda Marcotte  on  04/14  at  09:22 AM

Nora Ephron really nailed it by naming the “where’s the butter” problem.  Basically, somebody has to keep track of if there is butter, buy more butter if it is needed, and make sure the butter is where it should be.  I don’t mind cooking at all, but keeping track of making sure that there are enough ingredients in the house can be a real pain.  I say this as someone who goes to the grocery store on the bus and the only source of groceries along my commuting route is CVS.  All those throw it together quickly dinners do require a fair amount of grocery planning.

Food Network really did help me get over the cooking hump, though.  A friend recommended Rachel Ray, saying not to focus on the recipes, but on her by-the-stove chop-as-you-go style.  Basically, I now know that I need to pre-chop everything that is going into a fast cooking dish like a stir fry, but a slower dish can be put together while things are cooking - and a pot can come off the burner for a few minutes if needed.

I must say that a lot of the food writers really start annoying me when they talk about how “easy” cooking is, while making easy dishes that need to cook for a few hours.  Roger Ebert’s The Pot book is great, but he goes on about how you don’t need a fancy fuzzy logic one, while repeatedly saying you don’t know how long it will take, just trust the pot.  I want dinner before 9pm.  My parents were horrified at the cost of my Zojirushi cooker. But I pointed out that putting my Christmas money towards this one rather than the ordinary $40 model, meant that I had effortless hot oatmeal every morning AND brown rice at 6:15 when I walked in the door, rather than 8:00, if I were cooking from scratch.  And I can spend the time formerly spent making breakfast to put together a lunch to take to work.

Comment #24: East of Weston  on  04/14  at  09:24 AM

What an interesting post!  I love cooking, do it almost every day, and am responsible for about 90% of the food shopping and cooking in my four-person household.  I agree, Amanda, about the odd disconnect between aspirations and behavior.  This does fit into a broader US cultural pattern in which Americans spend a fair bit of time—and even money—preparing to do things they never get around to doing.  But it’s not just about self-improvement (though you’re right, that’s part of it).  It’s also a bit about the non-wealthy adopting the conspicuous-consumption aspirations of the wealthy (what Thorstein Veblen called “invidious canons of repute”).

Comment #25: Ben Alpers  on  04/14  at  10:05 AM

East of Weston, I’d stay away from the pot book; there are few recipes in it for the price and size, and most it is available from Ebert’s online column anyway.

I prefer to both cook and clean up; my sweetie does not tend to clean as he cooks, and his recipes seem to need a lot of bowls and things, so if he cooks and I clean, I end up with a bunch of things to wash and very frustrated.  And if I’m in the kitchen anyway to cook, I can wash a few things while the stew simmers, or put the dishes in the dishwasher while something fries.

I’m doing the cooking because I’m moving us over to a more plant based diet.  I love the boy, but his cooking is based on butterfat, and I’m tired of his recipes and want to eat my own.

Comment #26: syfr  on  04/14  at  10:32 AM

If the cooking and the dishes are always the same person in a multiperson household, or divvied up unsatisfactorily, there’s an algebra of resentment that really takes the fun out of anything and everything. My partner and I have explored just about every corner of the kitchen labor dynamic that doesn’t involve kids, trust me - right now we’re coming off a cycle where one person spends an hour cleaning the kitchen, is too irritated from that to cook, and the other person comes in, has a grand old time wrecking the place, is tired from being on their feet cooking for two hours, and leaves the mess. And the food, for the record. This week we’re eating frozen pizza while we recover our equilibrium. It’s harder to work these things out than it sounds, even if there’s good intentions.

Comment #27: purpleshoes  on  04/14  at  10:32 AM

though if I really want to get into a kitchen-ruining tizzy of creativity, I put Chopped on. That show is a straight-up inspiration - I start watching it and I have to go make something. Two months ago we had one of those weeks where all the money ran out (unexpected medical co-pays) and it was down to the odds and ends in the fridge and, thank god, my trusty flour bin. I ended up making pecan dandelion green pesto on whole wheat focacchia to last us for lunches through the week. It was delicious.

Comment #28: purpleshoes  on  04/14  at  10:37 AM

I also am sure that I’m ugly, a bad housekeeper, and a bad mother to boot. Probably don’t do enough for my partner, either.

You forgot fat, slutty practitioner of lesbian witchcraft, causing the downfall of western civilization with your lack of submission.

Comment #29: Sour Kraut  on  04/14  at  10:46 AM

My wife and I both work and have two young, squirrely kids—and we both love to cook. The hour we have together in the kitchen cooking dinner together while the kids play or do homework is one of the highlights of the day for me. But time and money are tight so, we take some time each weekend to break out our favorite cookbooks and cooking magazines and plan a menu for the week. Then we head out to either the farmer’s market and/or supermarket with that list so we know all the ingredients will be there in the fridge and we don’t have do run around “Iron Chef-ing”  every evening. It saves money, too, because you’re not just buying stuff that catches your eye, hoping maybe you’ll use it that week. Occasionally, depending on work schedules, one or the other of us will do most of the cooking on a given day and the other cleans up afterwards. And we try to involve the kids when there’s something to do that they can handle. We’re incredibly blessed to have very non-finicky kids with no dietary restrictions, so the sky’s the limit in terms of what we can make.

We do all this with 1 non-stick skillet, a saute pan, a stock pot for steaming and boiling, and a enameled dutch oven and a couple of good knives in a pretty crappy—if relatively spacious—apartment kitchen with an old electric stove and no dishwasher. We have a Kitchen Aid mixer, a blender, and a food processor, but that’s really it for the gadgets. 

The meal planning has proven really key to making home cooking convenient and practical. You just get home, whip out the recipe for that day, grab the stuff from the pantry or fridge, start prepping and go.

Comment #30: jonas  on  04/14  at  10:50 AM

The ex and I used Friday night dinner to plan the next week’s meals and put them day-by-day on a white board.  Shopping was Saturday, and the fancy meal/dessert of the week was Sunday.  We had more pots than we needed, but very few appliances—a hand mixer and a stick blender, basically.  I’m a better cook now that I’m single but I miss sharing it with someone.

Comment #31: bomberE  on  04/14  at  11:27 AM

But I do think that if cooking were in fact viewed more as a pleasurable way to spend time, instead of a chore that you should be doing but just aren’t, then more of it would be done.  Of course, I have no clue what it would take to get there.

It’s going to be different for everyone.
For me it actually did come down to having enough disposable income to buy actual pots and pans.  Having the luxury to actually think that spending $200+ on a set of cooking dishes made a difference.  I had the experience of “Hey, my food doesn’t stick!  And part of it isn’t burned while the rest is raw!  And it’s easy to clean!  Maybe this isn’t so bad.”

Plus the food channels are a compromise viewing choice.  When girlfriend and I run out of Mythbusters and dont’ feel like a horror movie we can put on one of the food shows.  From that I look for things that are easy that I can add quickly and effortlessly to my meals to help them have nutrition and flavor.  Because…

no one wants to work for a living and then go home and do a bunch of work for free.  We want to have fun

Comment #32: cynickal  on  04/14  at  11:30 AM

After years of working from home and having the time to cook all I want, I just took a job that’s going to require a long commute. I guess my superior attitude about cooking is about to take a kick in the shorts.

Comment #33: Bitter Scribe  on  04/14  at  11:47 AM

UHm…. does NYC or wherever else you all live not have thrift stores (Salvation Army and Goodwill) flea markets, garage sales or estate sales?

I’ve helped lots of friends outfit kitchens and decorate houses economically at them.  One found an old Kitchen Aid for like $5, a Kirby vacuum for @ $75, and cast iron pots, which I like, for about $2 each.  They practially give away utensils.  Unless it’s the estate sale, you generally won’t find “sets” but who needs those anyway - usually sets have something you don’t need anyway, but lack some size you do.  But a lot of Americans tend to think in that matchy-matchy, en suite way.

As for the mandoline, I never knew what one was either.  Mother Phylosopher had a “feemster” aka a cabbage slicer.  A bit dangerous, but it did the slicing job quickly and cost very little.

Comment #34: phylosopher  on  04/14  at  11:59 AM

“no one wants to work for a living and then go home and do a bunch of work for free.”

The reward is that you get a good meal.  I don’t think of it as working for free.  It saves me a lot of money and it tastes better than restaurant food.  Also, once you know what you’re doing, it takes less time to prep and cook the meal than people seem to think.

Comment #35: DBK  on  04/14  at  12:06 PM

I don’t really watch many cooking shows, maybe a few clips from YouTube to understand a technique or something, but otherwise no. I do spend a lot of drooling over blogs and occasionally magazines, and sometimes put in the effort to utilize those recipes. Two things have pushed me from very rarely doing home cooking to almost always, and there are pretty huge privileges - one was being able to move to an apartment with a decently sized/designed kitchen and dishwasher, the other was being able to buy decent ‘gadgets’ and equipment. Life is just plain easier with decent items, as opposed to struggling to cut vegetables with old dull knives, burning out motors on food processors, food unevenly cooked because the pans are warped, etc. Plus the time and travel involved in doing the whole yard sale/thrift store gig was prohibitive then and unthinkable now.

Right now gadgetry-wise I have food processor, blender, bread maker, waffle iron, rice cooker, kitchen-aid, and even an ice cream maker. The blender, the ice cream maker and waffle iron are pretty superfluous - I use them and like them but am not going to pretend they’re necessary. Even the breadmaker doesn’t get used as much with the kitchenaid, but has the delayed start advantage. Good knives, pans and bakeware? So so glad I am able to afford and utilize now.

Comment #36: Tenya  on  04/14  at  12:28 PM

For a lot of families with kids, I think, the habits get set when the kids are young. If the food isn’t ready when your infant/toddler wants it, they’re going to get awfully cranky, so that means on the table within half an hour of getting home if at all possible. (Also, if you do a later supper, that means the hour it takes to get the littlest tyke prepped and bathed and dressed for bed and safely seen off to sleep will leave you with a good 20 minutes to brush your own teeth before falling into bed to do the whole damn thing again.) So yeah, crock pots and cold collations and lots of pre-planning. And then a fair amount of work to reset all those expectations once the youngest is old enough to behave like a human being.

Meanwhile, the porn aspect of many of those food shows can be most clearly seen by the commercials that go along with them. Bobby Flay’s sous-chef may be preparing a 97-ingredient savory ice milk with garnishes flown in from tierra del fuego, but the commercials are still for lower-middlebrow restaurant chains and canned beans.

Comment #37: paul  on  04/14  at  12:55 PM

Why oh why do people think babies need nightly baths?  It really ends up doing nothing more than giving them skin problems and germophobia - an hour to get a kid to bed?  Unless s/he’s been rolling in a muddy yard all day - it’s unlikely that the kid has done anything to warrant full body immersion.  And as for the relaxing bedtime ritual - my ass, tired kids will sleep wherever they fall.  Those rituals are just another way to guilt moms and give them something MORE to do, like all the hyper cleaning products of the ‘50’s.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/11/T110230.asp
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/healthy-baby/PR00041
http://www.thefamilygp.com/bathing-babies-too-often-may-harm-their-skin.htm

Comment #38: phylosopher  on  04/14  at  01:11 PM

cynikal - are you using nonstick pans?  As in teflon coated?

Comment #39: phylosopher  on  04/14  at  01:13 PM

@Phylosopher, no.  I use Aluminum Anodized because I haven’t invested in silicon utensils yet.

Comment #40: cynickal  on  04/14  at  01:21 PM

I’ve developed a bit more sympathy for the non-cookers, lately. By the time I finish work, go to the gym, and drive all the way home, it can be 9:30-10pm, and there’s no way I’m spending the remaining time cooking anything beyond heating up some soup. The best I can hope for these days is to take out a day during the weekend or when I come home early to cook my meals for the week.

Comment #41: Tyro  on  04/14  at  01:27 PM

amanda, atheists are not the only people who get to sleep in. There are many devout Loafers.

Comment #42: rupaul  on  04/14  at  01:29 PM

I like baking.

I hate dishes.  Silverware is the worst.  All those stupid tines!  Thank providence for the dishwasher with the sterilizing cycle.

I hate having to come up with dinner every stinking night…which is why we end up ordering in fairly often.  We have convenience foods that whip up in the microwave, which I felt very guilty about until I remembered my mom, a fabulous cook, used to buy big packs of pizza from the school and we’d pop those in the oven. 

I was a summer latch-key kid who babysat my baby brother while my mom got her masters.  Lots of Chef Boyardee, too.

Not having a “real” job makes me feel even more guilty about not having fabulous meals every night, but it’s a grind.

Comment #43: Caren-Sun-blocking Creator of Animorphic Pancakes  on  04/14  at  01:30 PM

For me, it’s not the cooking that I hate, but the clean-up afterward.  I have always hated cleaning with a passion.

Comment #44: bananacat  on  04/14  at  01:31 PM

I keep forgetting that the fact that I thrive on routine also gives me a leg up when it comes to cooking—I can rely on the same small set of recipes day after day and week after week and still enjoy it. Cooking isn’t drudgery for me any more than taking a shower is drudgery—it’s just one of those routines.

I’m not going to take people to task for not having the same habits and mindsets that I do, but they are habits I sought to cultivate, if only because not cooking was far too expensive and impractical for me than cooking.

Comment #45: Tyro  on  04/14  at  01:36 PM

Miguel, I think that’s untrue on the “tasty” department.

I think there’s some truth to it, though. There’s a significant difference between cooking as a chore, which you focus on in the rest of your reply, and cooking as a hobby. With the latter, creativity, praise and appreciation are usual elements, and so Miguel’s point about single people tending to only make very simple meals or order take-out is legitimate. It’s fun to cook a multi-course meal for or with someone. It’s less fun to do it just on your own. It’s similar to how playing music with a group is a lot more fun to practicing on your own.

This is such a steadfast rule that even my food threads—-where people can’t taste the food!—-have people griping about what a terrible cook I am.

I don’t think anyone is complaining about the taste.

Comment #46: Theaetetus  on  04/14  at  01:44 PM

@9 - try canned Indian food.  Jhoti, I think, makes decent stuff. There are also a bunch of the heat n’ serve packets of food that are not bad in a pinch.  Cook up some rice, or take some naan out of the freezer (Trader joe’s makes good frozen naan) and you are good to go.

It’s not the same as fresh, but for a scoop n’ serve dinner or lunch, it’s economical, vegetarian and decent, esp. with added hot sauce!

Comment #47: bluish  on  04/14  at  01:53 PM

I wish there was a community kitchen where I could pay a monthly subscription fee and then get one complete, healthy meal a day from.

Comment #48: Entomologista  on  04/14  at  02:34 PM

@30 Jonas, “But time and money are tight so, we take some time each weekend to break out our favorite cookbooks and cooking magazines and plan a menu for the week. Then we head out to either the farmer’s market and/or supermarket with that list so we know all the ingredients will be there in the fridge..”

Your definition of time being tight must be quite different from mine, cause that sounds very time consuming. We do a small amount of meal planning in my house, but it’s based around meals we already know how to make so we aren’t flipping thru cookbooks or shopping for ingredients we don’t usually keep on hand. We also shop mostly in one place because it saves time, even if it doesn’t always save money. A list, though, is very helpful for not forgetting a key ingredient.

I personally see the day to day cooking as tolerable bordering on drudgery because it is just “one more thing” that has to be done after work, childcare and other chores. But, when I can get some time without a toddler nipping at my ankles, and I have time to try a new recipe I enjoy it much more.

Comment #49: Olivia  on  04/14  at  02:38 PM

I enjoy cooking much more when I know someone else is sharing the responsibility—that it won’t always be me cooking for them. When my husband and I schedule which nights each of us is responsible for getting dinner on the table (the other one cleans), I usually have fun with my nights.

When it’s all my responsibility, then it takes up a lot of mental energy no matter how quickly the recipe goes together. I have to mentally keep track of what I’m going to make, whether we have everything we need, what I can substitute if we don’t, whether I need to shop for something on the way home, whether I need to prep something in advance, whether the pan or utensil I need is clean, when to start cooking so the food isn’t ready too early or too late, whether something needs defrosting. Those questions are constantly poking at the back of my mind, taking up brain CPU cycles. I quickly get to the point where I just want to do something that requires zero prep and is a sure thing, so I can free up those mental resources.

If I know that every other night, I can just ignore those questions altogether and still have food appear on the table, then it becomes much more feasible to get creative and have fun with cooking on my nights.

Comment #50: snowmentality  on  04/14  at  02:52 PM

Cooking for kids killed any possible joy i took in meal preparation.  Since I have four kids, at least one of them always, always hated whatever I cooked.  The husband would eat anything, but no comment either way.  Nobody ever said “this is fabulous.  I’m never moving away from home so I have to do without mom’s cooking”, as the children of a Filippina of my aquaintance say.  I’m not a great cook, I’m not a terrible cook, I just get a meal on the table so nobody goes hungry, but I enjoy it as much as cleaning the toilet. 
I am discovering that I can steam things like fish and vegetables in the top of a rice cooker, and get a whole meal without paying attention to it.  And the kids are grown and gone, so they can’t complain they hate it.

Comment #51: gretchen  on  04/14  at  03:03 PM

@Phylosopher, no.  I use Aluminum Anodized because I haven’t invested in silicon utensils yet.
Comment #40: cynickal on 04/14 at 12:21 PM

The link you sent me to described them as pure aluminum disc for heating, anodized aluminum outside and 2 layers of nonstick coating inside.  I’ve read quite a few cooking sites that the fumes from high heating these are toxic to birds at least.  None seem to be “hard science” studies though. 

Also some concerns about the aluminum and acidic foods.

Comment #52: phylosopher  on  04/14  at  03:37 PM

@ Phylosopher:

awl ah kin tell yoo iz et dunnit hurt meh nun frum cookin on et
Ah kin tel yoo dat ah’ve poked it wit ah fork and et don’ skratch lik teflon

Unfortunately, if your concerns are keeping you from buying mid-grade cookware, you’d be best off with slowly investing in stainless steel or cast iron (whut waz gud enuf fer mom!)

Comment #53: cynickal  on  04/14  at  03:50 PM

I loathe cooking, for one reason and one reason only:  I’m a bariatric surgery patient (lap-band).  It’s worked wonderfully well (lost 110 lbs to date), but I can literally only eat about as much as a toddler before I’m full.  All the effort that is needed to cook something worth it, including clean up, seems utterly pointless when you can only eat a handful.

There’s also quite a lot I physically can’t eat– like soft breads, tough meats, basically anything starchy or fried – so a great percentage of the stuff I would bother cooking, I can’t eat anyway.

On the flip side of that,  the whole point going to the extreme of the bariatric surgery route is to make the lifelong commitment to changing how one eats (and, in my case, how one deals with several eating disorders), so healthy food and healthy cooking is exactly what I *should* be doing.

The worst part is, there’s literally NO food plans or recipes for people in my situation. Recipes are always for multiple people, etc.  I always get the “well, just freeze it!” thing, which is true (and which I already do), but seriously – would YOU want to spend your entire life eating leftovers?

Comment #54: Rare Vos  on  04/14  at  03:51 PM

I know in our area, it’s relatively difficult to find decent cookware at the thrift store in this area (I should know; I go 2-3 times a week and typically visit 6 different stores per week…online auctions are extra income for me). The vast majority of it is nonstick stuff with the coating ruined. I’ve seen a few cast iron pieces that are as much used as they are new. Toaster and crockpots are cheap and easy to find, but stand mixers, bread makers, and rice cookers are rare and expensive when they are there. Of course, all cities are different, but if you are in a college town or relatively poor area, the pickings can be pretty slim.

I’m a pretty good cook, but like gretchen, no one ever complimented the work I put in…and I grew very tired of it. If I didn’t cook, no one did. Luckily the new husband seems to like cooking.

Comment #55: Jodi  on  04/14  at  03:55 PM

I think McArdle has kind of missed the point of her own article; she writes at the end: “If you see cooking as an often boring part of your daily work, you’ll buy the pots you need to finish the job, and then stop. But if it’s part of a voyage of personal “rediscovery,” you’ll never stop finding new side trips to take.”

In my experience, this isn’t true.  People who enjoy cooking buy what they need and use it—if that means a nice set of cookware, they’ll pay what it’s worth, buy it second-hand, or develop creative alternatives.  By contrast, it’s people who DON’T enjoy cooking whose kitchens are filled with gadgets they never, ever use, purchased in order to convince themselves that if they just have that ONE SPECIAL BLENDER, they’ll magically love to cook.

Also, her video made me LOL.  Seriously, baking a cake FROM SCRATCH?!  I regularly bake cakes and biscuits with no greater mechanical aid than a pastry cutter or spatula.  (I’ll grant that I soften my butter in the microwave, but I could easily do that on the stovetop.)  And yes, I do own a mixer . . . I just choose not to use it.  LUDDITE.

Comment #56: Fellmama  on  04/14  at  03:58 PM

NO, cynickal (and snarky?) I pretty much have everything I need except the Kitchenaid - will hit the estate sales for that this summer- I’m lucky to be close enough to some rural areas, I find that those farm wives did invest in good quality kitchen items- respect for the food and all that.

I tossed all my old teflon stuff ages ago, and wouldn’t ever bring it back.  I stick with the stainless and the cast iron.  If there were really some new sort of safe process for non-stick, I’d be interested and consider amending my NEVER about it, which is why I asked.  There’s often a scientist or two on this site that can explain the process, so I was hoping to hear about it.

Comment #57: phylosopher  on  04/14  at  04:11 PM

Hate hate HATE silicone cooking utensils. Nothing like trying to turn a chicken breast with silicone-tipped tongs only to watch the chicken breast squirt away like it’s alive or something.

And forget about silicone pot holders and trivety-things - they do too heat up and transfer heat. And they retain heat, too, unlike plain old fabric/cloth. They’re OK (I guess) for short-term stuff like lifting off a lid but dang they’re slippery.

YMMV, of course.

Comment #58: teac  on  04/14  at  04:27 PM

would YOU want to spend your entire life eating leftovers?

Is not wanting leftovers some sort of problem people have that harkens back to bad social class implications, like not wanting used clothes because they’re like “hand me downs”? I typically “cook for the week” and consume what I made over the course of a few days.

Comment #59: Tyro  on  04/14  at  04:31 PM

I think you’re wrong about open plan kitchens.  Think about the kitchens you see on TV, being used:  These are open-plan kitchens, where the cook and interact while cooking!

Of course, your picture there shows a big problem, with the stove facing a wall and having no counter space around it.  The cook needs to turn around every time to grab an ingredient that’s ready on the counter.  However, it does mean the cook could have an assistant chopping nearby and handing things over, but…

teac:  you’re right that many silicone devices are terribly designed.  It’s a matter of fact that the people making them cheaply aren’t even on the same continent as those using them.  And if it’s slippery, they haven’t been washed enough.  But silicone is easier to clean, cools pretty fast, and doesn’t break (or break things) if dropped, and takes much more heat to burn (although I have burned it).

Comment #60: Crissa  on  04/14  at  05:01 PM

Crissa, I agree that open plan kitchens are necessarily non-functional, but they do put pressure on the cook, probably the woman, to keep it pristine and have shiny appliances and gadgets since it can’t be hidden away. I know that is a big reason I do not want an open floor plan for the kitchen.

Comment #61: Olivia  on  04/14  at  05:16 PM

There are several people I know who love cooking, and every last one of them is wealthier than average. I think that’s part of the aspiration, too—loving to cook is seen as an activity for the rich, and Americans all want to be rich.

I wouldn’t quite say this, but there’s definitely a difference between cooking as a hobby / foodieism (which definitely is a middle- and upper-class pursuit) and cooking as a necessity.

Douglas Coupland memorably referred to hopelessly upper-middle class people thinking that they had something in common with the downtrodden because they engaged in activities that were superficially similar as a form of “slumming”. I don’t really get why Amanda wants to deny that, as a member of the professional class, she has professional class interests in professional class pursuits.

It doesn’t make her a bad person—she cares a lot about people who aren’t as fortunate as she is and in fact is bowling in a prom dress in the near future as a manifestation of that real concern. But when you are cooking for epicurean or hedonistic reasons, you are definitely doing something quite different than working-class people do when they cook.

Comment #62: Dilan Esper  on  04/14  at  05:39 PM

Is not wanting leftovers some sort of problem people have that harkens back to bad social class implications, like not wanting used clothes because they’re like “hand me downs”?

I think it depends partly on what the leftovers are—some things don’t reheat well, so even if you do stuff some in the fridge/freezer you aren’t likely to eat it because it just isn’t that good the second time around. (I rarely take leftovers from restaurants for this reason—I know I won’t eat it)

Also, don’t forget that variety is the spice of life.  Even foods you love will lose their appeal if you eat them too often.  Something you don’t enjoy that much you may put off eating again until starts haunting you from the fridge when you back is turned.

Comment #63: Jayn Newell  on  04/14  at  05:48 PM

Phylosopher, late in the game, but as to your question about why people bathe their children every night, there is a HUGE reason.

Lead dust.

I live in a older mill town, most of the buildings have lead paint, and it’s pretty well-known that the topsoil is chock full of lead from past industry. The rates of autism and developmental issues in our town is off-the-charts. Apart from keeping a fresh coat of paint on your walls and keeping the sills and baseboards dusted, one of the best ways to keep your kids safe from the hazards of living in this sort of environment is to bathe them nightly.

Comment #64: Mighty Ponygirl  on  04/14  at  06:24 PM

I think this is dead on.  I know loads of people who bake, at least one or two things, because they learned to bake those things for special occasions / for fun, and they have nothing but happy associations with that.  But I know way fewer people with the time, energy, and interest to cook something nutritious and interesting every single night.  For a dinner party, sure—that’s a fun thing, again, and leaving the dishes for the morning feels reasonable as well as self-indulgent.  But on a daily basis, no matter how much you love it, cooking the family meals is a chore, like laundry or cleaning or paying the bills.

Plus, in cooking magazines, anything is possible.  In real life, ingredients are costly, or the grocery store’s out, or for some reason the corn starch is stocked with the oats in cereals instead of with the flour/sugar/spices of the baking aisle so it takes extra time to find, or the people you’re cooking for have food preferences and needs, which massively restrict what you can do, and the workarounds you can afford.  If your diet doesn’t exclude the occasional takeout/delivery night, that’s a safety valve, so you’ve always got an out and you don’t feel trapped in the kitchen; if your diet excludes, say, any meal with more than 5-600 mg sodium per serving and must be health-guide-approvable, your safety valve just clogged shut.

Comment #65: fluffster  on  04/14  at  06:29 PM

OK MPG, that’s a good reasons specific to you, your town, a heavy industrial area, etc.  But for the average kid, that isn’t the case, so my point remains.  Especially if your subdivision is newer than 1970’s, because as a rule, subdivisions REMOVE all topsoil before building.

Comment #66: phylosopher  on  04/14  at  06:48 PM

teac and others:
http://www.amazon.com/Progressive-International-Silicone-Gripper-Tongs/dp/B000Q9YVMS

I did an embarrassing amount of product research and I think these are the best.  They aren’t too hollowed, they have textured inside surfaces, the tips are blunt so you have more surface area when grabbing something from directly above, and the metal goes right up to the tips instead of stopping and having the last half-inch or so only floppy silicone.

When my ex left and took half the kitchen I had to replace a lot of stuff.  It turned into a huge ordeal.  It’s not only silicone implements that are poorly designed; it’s almost all of them.

Comment #67: bomberE  on  04/14  at  07:27 PM

My husband cooks.  I clean up after.

Even with teamwork, it sucks.

I love eating out.

Comment #68: adobedragon  on  04/14  at  08:08 PM

I find the connection of wealth and cooking interesting. My own experience is so different.  I grew up with a single mother who was unfortunately both abusive and badly alcoholizezd. I don’t have a lot of happy memories of time with my mum, but cooking with her is definitely up there. She was a good cook, and we had a good time inventing dishes.  And I guess, coming home from school at age 12, picking my drunken mum off of the floor and getting her to bed and cooking her a meal gave me a (somewhat perverted) sense of caring when I cook.

Anyway - I get the show-off and prestige associated with (fancy) cooking, but you can definitely love cooking on a budget.

I’ve noticed that cooking have become part of the entertainment industry.  Many TV food programs seem more focused on the show than on doing things meant as inspiration, and I see cook books that to me are more for reading than for use.  I guess it’s part of a bigger trend (in the West) of decoupling the “talking about” from the “doing”.

Also, at least here in northern Europe where two-income families are the norm, for families with children home-made quality and healthy food has become the litmus test of parenting.  For many parents, providing good meals has become closely tied to our sense of worth as parents; we build up an expectation of home-made bread, tasty, healthy meals from organic ingredients, etc - and a prone to self-judgement if we fail at this.  Which is self-defeating, of course; who’s going to enjoy an activity associated with fear of failing as a parent?

Comment #69: lpfischer  on  04/14  at  09:30 PM

Added to the list of mysteries I have to ponder is the context-sensitive banner ad I’m seeing for Chocolatey Special K. For dinner. In Spanish.

Comment #70: Hector B.  on  04/14  at  10:38 PM

phylosopher:  little kids can get surprisingly dirty, especially in the summer, when all parents are familiar with that “sweaty little kid” smell.  But even if they’re not dirty enough to need a bath, bathtime is a good way to make the transition from running around playing to wind down and get ready for bed, which is another reason many parents make it a daily ritual.  Quietly playing in the tub calms everyone down, and gave me some time to sit on the bathroom floor reading, so was good for everyone.

Comment #71: gretchen  on  04/15  at  03:50 AM

Also, not all tired kids just fall asleep.  I had one so hyper my husband would literally hold him down - arm across chest, leg across legs - so he could hold still long enough to fall asleep.  Otherwise he’d keep running till midnight.

Comment #72: gretchen  on  04/15  at  04:10 AM

@phylosopher

I love when people talk about their own experiences, and I hate when they use those personal experiences to extrapolate to everyone else.  You don’t know how dirty other people’s kids are, how sensitive their kid’s skin may or may not be, or how much comfort or wind-down time their kids require; and if their experience doesn’t line up exactly with yours, it doesn’t mean they’ve done something wrong or are mindlessly accepting patriarchal scripts. 

It was really nice of you to separate MPG’s experience from that of ‘average kids’ to bolster your argument.  I posit that your experience is extraordinary in some way and someone else’s, chosen at random, is now officially normal.  No true child sleeps easily when they are tired.  No true child requires minimal cleaning.  It’s nice that you have that set-up, but to quote you, “for the average kid, that isn’t the case, so my point remains.”

All of my statements are exactly as well-supported as yours, by the way.

Comment #73: Eileen  on  04/15  at  02:41 PM

I think the point about “the urge to be more productive around the house” is an important one, and it’s certainly more than a vague feeling that we should live our lives in a more grown-up manner. Modern labour and workplaces tend to remove people further and further from the actual functional purpose of their work, leading to a disenchantment with paid labour; that even if we understand the usefulness of our work on an intellectual level, the end product is so distant or so far above us that it becomes emotionally unsatisfying. This leads to an increased interest in engaging in that sort of labour that has an immediate emotional satisfaction, the most straightforward and universal of which is household production, food preparation being the form of that labour which hits the right balance between breadth of relevance and creative breathing-room. Unfortunately, modern capitalism leaves people so emotionally and physically drained that they often find it difficult to pursue this beyond passive consumption of information, so we end up with this odd state of affairs in which, as Amanda described, the amount of time people spend thinking about something is entirely disproportionate to the time they actually spend doing it.

Comment #74: Finnegan  on  04/15  at  11:36 PM

Eileen and gretchen - I’m pointing out those patriarchal scripts - it’s what feminists do, remember?  Using science to point out that what is posited as a necessity, often isn’t.

And sorry, but toddlers and young children don’t even have enough “smelly” gland production to sweat to smelly.  If your kid is smelly at that age (we’re talking under 8 or so here) from sweat, it could be a sign of either precocious puberty or some gland disorders, even a symptom of serious disease. 

But hey, ignore the science, bash the messenger.

I think I’ll go cook a good dinner.

Comment #75: phylosopher  on  04/15  at  11:54 PM

@phylosopher:  I was suspecting that you don’t have any kids, but now I’m pretty sure.  No, young children don’t have smelly sweat in the sense that adults do.  Yes, small children get sweaty, dirty, and funky-smelling when they’re playing hard in the summer.  Science requires observation, and that’s my observation from years of child-rearing.  And there’s nothing more patriarchal than saying: ignore what you think is best for your kids, and do what I, who’ve never met them, tell you to do.

Comment #76: gretchen  on  04/16  at  01:52 AM

Gretchen - talk about missing the point.  If it’s the middle of a 90 degree summer day and your kid has been out playing in the mud - by all means, wash the tyke. If you suspect anthrax or lead in your soils - by all means, ditto.  I suspect you didn’t read carefully - now I’m pretty sure. Nothing against washign kids when needed, but daily routine isn’t “when needed.”

But for most people, most of the year, a full immersion bath on a DAILY basis for you young child is a germophobic habit induced by the likes of Johnson and Johnson and “Baby Magic”  just as, in the ‘50’s women were trained to clean their counters, two or three times a day with expensive Lysol.  Most of the time, a simple wipe with a rag would have done, or a spritz of bleach in water if it really (poultry prep) required germ killing.

Comment #77: phylosopher  on  04/17  at  03:18 AM

GeoKaren:

our main house

I pretty much stopped reading right there. Yeah, your situation is so pertinent to everyone else’s, because we all have the time, money, and mental energy to do like you do.

Smug, privileged twit.

Comment #78: Nobody in Particular  on  04/17  at  09:57 AM

NIP - she said tiny cabin in the woods.  That doesn’t sound like second home on Nantucket, and I think her point about cooking better when you have time stands.  My husband and I talk about a cabin in the north woods of wisconsin, and although it will probably never happen, it’s a pleasant thought.

Comment #79: gretchen  on  04/17  at  01:33 PM

I raised two—and I had the same experience as phylosopher; they did not need full immersion baths every night once they were out of diapers; more like once a week unless they’d been playing in the mud. As little kids, they just didn’t have stinky sweat.

Now, once the adolescent hormones kicked in, it was an entirely different story. Then they needed frequent showers.

Comment #80: Jodi  on  04/19  at  10:48 PM

Phyl & Jodi:  Once a week?!?  What on earth did you do with your 3 - 6 year olds?  Lock them in a pristine room and tell them not to touch anything?  My kids were outside in the dirt (helping in the garden, raking the grass, etc), at the park (ticks; grass clippings; general dirt, sand and mulch materials) or snow (with a certain level of concern about salts, sand, etc) with the effect of needing a bath more often then not until at least a couple of years into elementary school.  It’s certainly better to establish a ritual of a quick dip every night then to miss a night when they should have had that bath and my change extra bedding, etc when I damn well didn’t have time to do that as regularly as I’d have liked.  Not to mention being a time to check for those ticks and any bumps, scrapes, et al that they just hadn’t paid attention to.  Also, a good time to check for those kind of things when someone else has been caring for your child and may not have told you about that little fall off the kitchen chair, out of the tree house or from the backyard swing.

Comment #81: helen w. h.  on  04/20  at  02:23 PM
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