Debate I want to see: Garland Grey vs. Katie Roiphe. Roiphe finds herself appealingly sexually aroused by reading bad sex scenes written by narcissistic authors who feel that their boners, being important to them, must be items of great universal importance. (Oh, to be Katie Roiphe and naturally possessed of the sex drive and opinions that tailor so neatly to what sexist-but-believe-they’re-liberal dudes want to hear.) Garland Grey is crippled by good taste and annoyance at the entire genre of high literature he calls Fond Memories of Vagina. I’m possessed of the opinion narcissistic male writers find themselves unable to avoid writing ridiculous sex scenes because sex is so goofy and ridiculous. Instead of letting this fact introduce some hated humility into their lives—-being humbled by sex comes perilously close to being debased by it, which is an officially feminine position in our culture—-they overcompensate by writing fantasies of their epic abilities to bone much younger (disturbingly and criminally younger in some cases) women/girls.
Garland Grey responds by writing a computer-based sex scene. Seriously, just click over and read it; it’s hilarious. In honor of it, I thought I’d go with a computer-themed sexy song for the original song in this week’s Genius Ten. (As usual, leave yours in comments, or comments on anything else. This is a standing open thread.) The one caveat is that this song, unlike the overwrought boner prose of so many literary lions, is actually hot.
Original song: “Computer Blue” by Prince & the Revolution
1) “Aqua Boogie” by Parliment
2) “Jungle Love” by The Time
3) “Just Like A Baby” by Sly & the Family Stone
4) “Give Me Your Love” by Curtis Mayfield
5) “Atomic Dog” by George Clinton
6) “Master Teacher” by Erykah Badu
7) “Beep Me 911” by Missy Elliott
8) “Maybe Tomorrow” by the Jackson 5
9) “Just Kissed My Baby” by The Meters
10) “I’m Glad You’re Mine” by Al Green
Videos below the fold.
Because this song is always fucking awesome:
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He inserted his male attachment into the female adapter, and watched his progress bar creep across the screen.
That was genius (as was entire post). You just made by TGIF a bit brighter.