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Next entry: Anti-vaxxers and anti-choicers: a match made in heaven Previous entry: Hiding the ladies

GA legislatures exploit religious paranoia, likely mental illness

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Sometimes even I can be surprised by the depths that pandering Republican politicians will sink.  I almost fell off the treadmill while watching this segment on “Rachel Maddow” about the Georgia legislature passing a bill that makes it illegal to microchip someone against their will.  The bill doesn’t really make mention of why they think this is a threat, nor do they address this on the program, except to suggest this is more paranoia-mongering about the federal government, which is absolutely is.  But for anyone who has lived in or near the Bible Belt, what’s going on here should be really obvious.

This is theocracy pandering, in a nutshell.  It’s illegal, of course, to make fundamentalist Christianity the state religion, but passing laws like this is how the legislature can signal to the Christian right that they really wish they could.  The microchip thing is a reference to the fundie belief that we’re nearing the End Times.  The belief is that—-after the Rapture, I think—-everyone will be lured into accepting the Mark of the Beast.  The Antichrist will do this by making the Mark either requisite for doing business or making the currency itself.  (When you hear conservatives freak out about a one world currency, this is where it’s coming from.)  But you have to refuse it, of course.  It’s implied in this belief that taking on the Mark will damn you to hell for eternity.  Subsequently, fundies tend to get obsessed with monitoring what the possible Mark could be, because god forbid you take on the Mark without knowing and then go to hell even though you tried really hard to be a good Christian.  They’re also obsessed with warning non-believers to look out for it, presumably on the grounds that if we’ve been informed and we see it coming, we’ll realize the Christians were right all along and join up with the forces fighting the Antichrist. 

Theories proliferate about what this Mark will be.  I was growing up during a transitional era, when the assumption was changing from believing it will be a tattoo on your hand of some symbol to believing that the Mark will be the currency itself.  Growing up, I heard various ideas of what the mark would be (not from family or anything—-just around):

*The number 666, of course, or some symbolic variation
*The peace symbol
*The pentagram
*The anarchy symbol
*Bar codes
*And of course, implanted microchips

Many people believed all were possibilities.  With the peace symbol especially, there was this bemused assumption that the fools who wore it voluntarily were dupes of Satan.  I imagine as more people get the sci-fi understanding of microchips, the microchip has really taken the lead in theories about what the Mark of the Beast will look like.  It’s easy to imagine, isn’t it?  We have credit cards and PayPal—-the next step is currency planted in your skin, no real money at all! 

I can imagine for Georgia politicians, this seems like a no-brainer.  Score some political points with the fundies by banning something fictional that scares them.  What’s the harm?  Well, as you’ll see in the video, they got an earful of exactly what is the harm when one of the women called in to testify spun a tale about her persecution by the federal government that made it clear that she’s quite likely schizophrenic.  Now, I really don’t know much about the treatment or care for schizophrenics, but I have trouble imagining that it’s really good for them to have their paranoid delusions reinforced by powerful people.  Which is unfortunately just what they did by treating her as a credible witness for the committee. 

But it also points to a larger problem with this kind of pandering to the religious right.  Their beliefs aren’t harmless.  The more paranoid elements of the teabagger movement that are running around talking about how they’re proud to be terrorists is just the tip of the iceberg here.  The fundie beliefs about the Antichrist tailor neatly to the anti-government gun nut beliefs about the federal government.  Put the two together, and you generate this paranoid belief that the government is out to get you and your guns because the government is in the thrall of Satan.  I cannot emphasize enough how widespread fears about the Antichrist are.  This isn’t a small thing, and the problems extend beyond just this immoral exploitation of a woman who sends every signal that she’s suffering from a serious mental illness.

 

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Posted by Amanda Marcotte on 04:16 PM • (65) Comments

And again, I never get this, because in millennialist theology, Armageddon is something to be welcomed, as it brings about the end of the world and the ultimate victory of God over Satan. Things like microchips, one-world governments, and so forth are positive developments. Besides, the mark of the beast is supposed to be applied after the rapture, so aren’t the fundies all going to be gone by then? Or do they really fear that they’re not right with God after all?

Comment #1: Jeff Fecke  on  04/21  at  04:25 PM

Oh, Google Ads. You are wonderful.

Comment #2: Mighty Ponygirl  on  04/21  at  04:36 PM

As a resident of Georgia, the only (and very small) consolation that I take from this is that my senator actually voted no.

Maybe the legislature, could, I don’t know, solve our public transit issues first? It’s not like this is the third year that they’ve been trying (and failing) or anything like that.

Comment #3: FashionablyEvil  on  04/21  at  04:44 PM

Jeff: Having been a fundie myself, the latter is definitely a real phenomenon. Whether it’s behind this sort of thing, I couldn’t tell you, but speaking from my own experience I was constantly terrified that I hadn’t got “saved” correctly, no matter how many times I spoke the magic words. This is also why you’ll see long-time members of the church respond to “altar calls”, which are intended as opportunities for new believers to get saved. There are rarely ever any new members of these evangelical churches, but the old members use the altar calls to “rededicate themselves to Christ”.

Anyway, there’s also as many different “Rapture Timelines” as there are authors of books about the Rapture. Funny how they can’t ever seem to replicate each other’s research into deciphering the supposedly literal prophecies of Daniel and Revelation. So, some timelines have the Antichrist’s rise occurring before the Rapture and the Mark and the One World Government and all that as a warning of the Rapture’s imminence rather than a sign that it’s already happened.

More to the point, though, a lot of the folks promoting this paranoia don’t genuinely actually believe this shit. The rank and file filling the pews do, of course, and maybe even so do most of the pastors, but the folks at the top of the evangelist money-making circuit, your Tim LaHayes or whatever, are really just hucksters trying to sell something. The best way to sell books about the Rapture, of course, is to be able to point to something actually happening and say, “See? It’s in the Bible! Find out what else is in the Bible that you missed because you’re a bunch of ignorant rubes.”

Comment #4: Tobasco da Gama  on  04/21  at  04:46 PM

Well, I don’t think fearing the Mark of the Beast is really against the Armageddon, though.  It just means you expect it will come and you’re guarded against being recruited into the armies of Satan.

Comment #5: Amanda Marcotte  on  04/21  at  04:46 PM

You know, I was thinking of filing a patent about this:  Using these microchips to aide prisons in tracking prisoner locations.  We use these microchips in our pets to help track them if they get lost, I figure microchiping a prisoner and setting up an electronic perimeter fence would help keep prison costs down.

OK, I just made up that idea to see if I could come up with a plausible reason why someone would want to involuntarily implant a microchip…

Comment #6: James  on  04/21  at  04:52 PM

If something like this ever did become an issue, the people chipped would most likely be convicts and other undesirables.  And the ironic thing is, the people most freaked out about the Mark of the Beast also seem to be the most gung ho about marginalizing certain groups of people.

Comment #7: keshmeshi  on  04/21  at  04:52 PM

Who is crazier, Chip and Chip or the lady with the imaginary Chip? Its like some kind of post modern comedy that Don DeLillo would produce after surviving a gun shot wound to the head. I thought the low of the week so far was the teabagger asserting that Lindsey Graham’s homosexuality is causing him to betray america or the democrats were using it to blackmailing him into betraying america because clearly that’s the only reason he could be ok with immigration reform.

Comment #8: pharmakos  on  04/21  at  04:53 PM

OK, I just made up that idea to see if I could come up with a plausible reason why someone would want to involuntarily implant a microchip…

As keshmeshi notes, I’m sure the same state legislators would find a way to make an exception to this law for certain prisoners ... perhaps based on the good ol’ paper bag test.

Comment #9: Gracchus.  on  04/21  at  04:58 PM

keshmeshi: If you were to propose microchipping legal immigrants, all these same legislators would be racing to co-sponsor that law. I guarantee it.

Comment #10: Tobasco da Gama  on  04/21  at  05:06 PM

The thing about this law, and laws like it (e.g. the Arizona Anti-Breathing-While-Hispanic Act of 2010) is that they’re not supposed to make sense. If anyone wanted to chip people, they would either offer incentives (like the bars that supposedly offer rfid tags to frequent drinkers so they won’t lose their wallets or a prison that could offer you a favorable parole decision) or they’d pay the legislature to make changes in the law. Or if the federal government decided to chip people, a state law against it would be null and void.

So it’s all about whipping up the crazies. Not anything else. What Amanda is worrying about as collateral damage is actually, I think, the desired effect.

Comment #11: paul  on  04/21  at  05:12 PM

Shouldn’t modifying people’s bodies without permission be illegal anyhow?

Comment #12: Crissa  on  04/21  at  05:23 PM

As keshmeshi notes, I’m sure the same state legislators would find a way to make an exception to this law for certain prisoners ... perhaps based on the good ol’ paper bag test.

They didn’t.  Here is the full and complete text of SB235


BE IT ENACTED BY THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY OF GEORGIA:

SECTION 1.

This Act shall be known as the “Microchip Consent Act of 2010.”

SECTION 2.

Article 2 of Chapter 5 of Title 16 of the Official Code of Georgia Annotated, relating to assault and battery, is amended by adding a new Code section to read as follows:

“16-5-23.2.

(a) As used in this Code section, the term:

(1) ‘Implant’ includes any means intended to introduce a microchip internally, beneath the skin, or applied to the skin of a person.

(2) ‘Microchip’ means any microdevice, sensor, transmitter, mechanism, electronically readable marking, or nanotechnology that is passively or actively capable of transmitting or receiving information. Such term shall not include pacemakers.

(3) ‘Person’ means any individual, irrespective of age, legal status, or legal capacity.

(4) ‘Require’ includes physical violence; threat; intimidation; retaliation; the conditioning of any private or public benefit or care on consent to implantation, including employment, promotion, or other benefit; or any means that causes a person to acquiesce to implantation when he or she otherwise would not.

(b) No person shall be required to be implanted with a microchip.

(c) Any person who implants a microchip in violation of this Code section shall be guilty of a misdemeanor.

(d) Any person required to have a microchip implanted in violation of this Code section may file a civil action for damages.

(e) The voluntary implantation of any microchip may only be performed by a physician and shall be regulated under the authority of the Georgia Composite Medical Board.”

SECTION 3.

This Act shall become effective on July 1, 2010.

SECTION 4.

All laws and parts of laws in conflict with this Act are repealed.

Comment #13: James  on  04/21  at  05:24 PM

Wasn’t there a sci-fi show that involved people (certain ones, anyway) being tattooed with bar codes? IIRC, it starred Jessica Alba and was called something like Black Angel.

Researchers have come up with a prototype of a radio-frequency tag that can be printed with enhanced ink, driving down the cost and making them likely to turn up on ordinary consumer goods. How paranoid do you think that will make these folks?

Comment #14: Bitter Scribe  on  04/21  at  05:26 PM

Actually, microchipping Alzheimer’s patients and other people who could have a real possibility (or history) of wandering off and getting lost and terrified is already available.

You can’t (I think) yet use it to track them like a GPS signal, but if they end up in a hospital or picked up by the authorities, they can read the chip and contact their loved ones.

I’m sure the tracking version will be along soon. No doubt to be followed by chipping your kids.

Comment #15: Lymis  on  04/21  at  05:27 PM

Law of unintended consequences:  Metal orthodontic braces are now illegal in Georgia, as they are a mechanism that is passively capable of receiving information, unless they are installed by a physician.

Comment #16: James  on  04/21  at  05:28 PM

Bitter Scribe: That was Dark Angel, and the folks with barcodes were all transgenic humanoid super soldiers. wink

Comment #17: Tobasco da Gama  on  04/21  at  05:33 PM

Joshua: Thanks. It’s all coming back now. (Not that I especially wanted it to.)

It’s kind of funny that in this super-duper hyper-advanced future technological era, where people could be engineered to be killing machines or whatever, they couldn’t come up with anything better than bar codes—1980s technology, for Chrissake—to keep tabs on people.

Comment #18: Bitter Scribe  on  04/21  at  05:42 PM

The Bush Administration just spent 8-years breaking half of the laws of the country while being cheered on by the Bagbots.  They really wanted the Government to break laws, and Cheney and the Bushites were all too happy to do so. 

Yet somehow they believe passing a law banning the implantation of chips, which would presumably be done by the government, will be obeyed by everyone, Big Guvmint too.

Is there some harmful brain-chemistry altering chemical in the dyes used to make Confederate flags?...

Comment #19: MikeEss  on  04/21  at  05:47 PM

(3) ‘Person’ means any individual, irrespective of age, legal status, or legal capacity.

When it becomes expedient, I guarantee you they’ll write in exceptions for prisoners and non-citizens resident in the state. Probably parolees, too. The type of people involved here are nothing without xenophobia and a bone-headed, macho version of law-n-order.

If the legislators were serious about privacy and personal liberty issues, they’d have taken a broader approach on real issues of concern surrounding technology: mobile phone tracking; government snooping on location-based services; intrusive data-mining; Bush-admin style illegal phone intercepts, etc.

Now of course, following up on such issues would have been at odds with what I have no doubt are the legislators’ corporatist sensibilities (inchoate though they might be). And many these yahoos probably aren’t even aware of the issues.

But even accepting the fact that these legislators might be completely ignorant of real-world privacy concerns, the fact remains that this piece of legislation is designed specifically to appeal to schizophrenics and other pathologically paranoid folks.

Comment #20: Gracchus.  on  04/21  at  05:49 PM

Bitter Scribe, the show was called Dark Angel and it also featured the adorable Michael Weatherly (who also plays NCIS‘s Tony DiNozzo).  The bar codes on the super soldier clones were genetic, not tattoos, but yeah.  Season 1 was enjoyable, but Season 2’s heavy reliance on Petting Zoo People and the Breeding Cult got too weird for me when it was broadcast.  Fun fact: Fox cancelled Dark Angel so they could air Firefly.

Comment #21: stogoe  on  04/21  at  05:53 PM

Or rather, so they could Pre-Empt Firefly to show baseball games instead.

Comment #22: stogoe  on  04/21  at  05:57 PM

Any person who implants a microchip in violation of this Code section shall be guilty of a misdemeanor.

Misdemeanor?

Before this was passed we’d simply have prosecuted someone who forced a microchip into you with felonious assault and battery (at the very least). So isn’t this reducing the severity of the crime?

Comment #23: Sarcastro  on  04/21  at  06:02 PM

Fox cancelled Dark Angel so they could air Firefly

So Firefly did do something good

</threadjack>

Comment #24: firefall  on  04/21  at  06:23 PM


When it becomes expedient, I guarantee you they’ll write in exceptions for prisoners and non-citizens resident in the state. Probably parolees, too. The type of people involved here are nothing without xenophobia and a bone-headed, macho version of law-n-order.

I imagine registered sex offenders would be at the top of the list as well.

Comment #25: bay of arizona  on  04/21  at  06:30 PM

Don’t most implantable medical devices come with serial numbers? Some of them have to be removed to be visually read, but surely some of them can be scanned, right? I mean, there’s an exception for pacemakers, but not for cochlear implants or artificial organs. And those aren’t designed to transmit data the way a pacemaker is, but I’d be shocked if none of them can.

Also, as the pet-owner of microchipped cats and a dog, I can definitely see the peace of mind that would come from microchiping my able to open the front door while I’m in the shower toddler or my increasingly forgetful 87 year old grandfather. My privacy concerns mean I wouldn’t, especially for the kid who would be microchipped the rest of his life, but it does seem odd I have more built-in safety for my dog than my son.

Comment #26: Av0gadro  on  04/21  at  06:45 PM

I have an uncle who is schizophrenic and is really, really into the End Times stuff.  But it’s like he’s into it as a study, or a hobby, more than a religious belief.

Comment #27: lonespark  on  04/21  at  06:48 PM

Wasn’t there a sci-fi show that involved people (certain ones, anyway) being tattooed with bar codes? IIRC, it starred Jessica Alba and was called something like Black Angel.

Dark Angel, and the barcodes on the back of the neck were because a corporation had literally built them genetically to be super soldiers, so they were supposed to be inventory.  I don’t remember if they had chips under the skin, but “the pulse” supposedly knocked technology back far enough where it wouldn’t matter.  I lost interest at the beginning of season 2 when Jensen Ackles joined, maybe they had microchips and I missed it.

Comment #28: Godless Heathen  on  04/21  at  06:52 PM

This just in: Jesus freaks are fucking crazy!

Film at 11.

Comment #29: Mark  on  04/21  at  07:16 PM

I had no idea all that shit was coded references to jeezus wacks. Fuck.

Comment #30: PhysioProf  on  04/21  at  07:35 PM

I think a politcal “movement” is near its expiration date when crazy conspiracy theories become mainstream thought. Also, I’m pretty sure the mark of the beast are those barb wire tatoos.

Comment #31: sancerre2001  on  04/21  at  07:38 PM

OMG my computer is loaded with microchips!

Comment #32: BrianX  on  04/21  at  07:41 PM

Re: Dark Angel bashing- c’mon, Jessica Alba was my first girl crush. Something about her ass in tight jeans…

Comment #33: TheRealistMom  on  04/21  at  07:46 PM

EVERYTHING about her ass in tight jeans…...

Comment #34: Eric_RoM  on  04/21  at  07:58 PM

lonespark:

That’s not exactly a rarity. Try working in a bookstore—every once in a while you get someone who is fiercely focused on one particular subject. I once had someone call in four or five times looking for the Iron Mountain Report, which as far as I can tell isn’t actually in print anywhere and is a huge forgery anyway. He could have easily found it on the net…

Comment #35: BrianX  on  04/21  at  08:01 PM

EVERYTHING about her ass in tight jeans…...

EVERYTHING about her EVERYTHING in tight ANYTHING.

Comment #36: Smartpatrol  on  04/21  at  08:12 PM

I guess the best thing about this is I’m really okay with this law.  Seriously, no one SHOULD be microchipped against their will.  If this was all the fundies asked for I’d go “Great.  Leave alone my abortion rights while you’re so concerned about body and privacy rights”.

Comment #37: Antigone  on  04/21  at  08:24 PM

Antigone:

But what does it prove, when it’s not a clear and present problem except in the fever dreams of some religious fanatics? It’s an unnecessary law that’s covered by existing law.

Comment #38: BrianX  on  04/21  at  08:34 PM

<blockquote>we’ll realize the Christians were right all along </blockqutoe>

This is their biggest motivating factor: they want to shove everyone else’s nose in it.

When the Rapture comes, and they’re Saved, then all those damn liebruls and ivory tower edumacated types who thought they were smarter will see that they were R-O-N-G.  All the salt-of-the-earth types with their common sense and trust in the literal Bible WERE right, even if they don’t really understand how anything works.

If they ever read the Gospel according to Matthew they’d lose their minds.

I read a comic somewhere about the Rapture—all these people floated away, and one in particular is caught smirking at her Jewish fiance that’s being left behind.  Self-satisfied, “I told you so” smirking.

The people left behind can use magic/psi powers.  Turns out something inhibited our natural ability to use these powers and religions grew up telling us those natural powers were evil.

The best part?  At the end, some guy psychic projects himself to space…and discovers all the Raptured folk floating, frozen and dead in their “heaven”.

“I guess they thought there’d be oxygen up here” he says.

—————
Jensen Ackles?  Oooh.  I only watch that stupid “Supernatural” b/c Jensen Ackles is so pretty.  I might actually have to look at “Dark Angel” some time, just to see the pretty.

Comment #39: Caren-Sun-blocking Creator of Animorphic Pancakes  on  04/21  at  08:46 PM

OK, I am not religious at all, but isn’t the anti-Christ supposed to be all super-powerful? Can an immortal devil guy really be stopped by something as simple as a state statute? Seriously?

#12—It should be, unless that body-modifier is a fetus.

Comment #40: alysia  on  04/21  at  09:17 PM

Electro-shock therapy is a very effective treatment for schizophrenia, so we can imagine that targeted electrical impulses might also be effective.  I wonder whether someday it might in fact be medically desirable to implant microchips in diseased brains - even against the owner’s will - to control their pathology.

This would be administered by the Satanic Microchip Panel authorized in the Obamacare Bill (by the Antichrist himself, you see).  But you’re safe if you live in Georgia.

Comment #41: BABH  on  04/21  at  09:25 PM

EVERYTHING about her EVERYTHING in tight ANYTHING.

My heart still belongs to Scarlett.

(Other organs are putting in a good word for Jessica, though.)

Comment #42: Phoenician in a time of Romans  on  04/21  at  09:37 PM

Oh, they of little faith!
If it is a prophecy, then God says it’s going to happen.
No amount of Georgia legislation can stop it!
Apparently, they believe that through legislation, they can tinker with the End Times to their own advantage.
God ain’t buyin’ it.

Comment #43: MadLibrarian  on  04/21  at  09:47 PM

When I was living in Alaska during the 1990s I had a discussion with one of the leaders of the Alaskan Independence Party who had heard that the government had been implanting RFIDs in people. He had heard this from Bo Gritz, who was running for president at the time and had just given a speech at the Baptist Temple, a megachurch in Anchorage. When I pointed out to him that this was very improbable, he became quite agitated with me.

Comment #44: tesseral  on  04/21  at  09:51 PM

I think the really important issue here is the cynical exploitation of these beliefs by (mainly) Republican politicians and operatives. This really is a quite dangerous phenomenon. Although I haven’t lived as long as Noam Chomsky has, I agree that the situation in this country is unprecedented. I am not optimistic about the future.

Comment #45: tesseral  on  04/21  at  09:57 PM

As an unmedicated, high-functioning schizophrenic, I have to agree with Amanda.  This is a horrible example of exploitation and it really, really isn’t a good idea to encourage the delusions.  It really, really, REALLY isn’t a good idea to encourage paranoia.  From my observation, once high-functioning people like me succumb to paranoia they usually stop being quite so functional and start descending into the pit, from which it can be extremely hard to climb back out.

Comment #46: Theadosia  on  04/21  at  10:17 PM

Wait… Why does it exempt pacemakers?

Comment #47: Crissa  on  04/21  at  10:18 PM

but it does seem odd I have more built-in safety for my dog than my son

Avogadro, for your dog’s safety (and your convenience) you can also walk your dog on a leash, confine him/her in a crate overnight or while you’re out of the house, and transport him/her as cargo. Not so much with your kids.

More on topic, this is a really cynical manipulation of someone who needs help.  Way to go, Georgia!

Comment #48: KristinMH  on  04/21  at  10:44 PM

AFAIK, pacemakers are capable of sending medical information through the skin, thus preventing the need to have any lead breaking the surface of the skin (aka “invitation to infection”).

By putting them in as an exception, they’re opening the way to other exceptions that “make sense” later.  RFIDs for prisoners.  Credit cards.  IDs for the Standard Autonomic Taxation Amplification Network. That sort of thing.

Comment #49: Phoenician in a time of Romans  on  04/21  at  10:48 PM

I actually have no argument against this law.  I mean, look what happened to Scully.  She starts a new job, gets abducted by aliens, has her ova stolen and a tracking chip implanted in her, and when she takes the chip out she gets cancer. And the only way for the cancer to go into remission is ANOTHER CHIP.

I also hope that Georgia gets cracking on the “No implanting human-alien hybrid embryos into comatose women” and the “No involuntary freezing of people stung by genetically altered bees” bills.

Comment #50: Maureen  on  04/21  at  11:13 PM

“I also hope that Georgia gets cracking on the “No implanting human-alien hybrid embryos into comatose women” and the “No involuntary freezing of people stung by genetically altered bees” bills.”

Hey!  What about the Mutant Menace?  Sure, Professor Xavier looks pretty innocent in that fancy-ass wheelchair, and Storm is pretty hot, but have you seen Wolverine?  We gotta do something before he pokes somebody’s eye out with those knives that shoot out of his hands!

If we pass a law in Georgia, it’s bound to sweep America!  And then all those MutantoSocialioFascists will have to find some other country where they can live all mutanty and stuff… like France…

Comment #51: MikeEss  on  04/22  at  12:55 AM

IDs for the Standard Autonomic Taxation Amplification Network.
I see what you did there…

Comment #52: Matty  on  04/22  at  12:59 AM

We have credit cards and PayPal—-the next step is currency planted in your skin, no real money at all!

If they ever come to London and experience the Oyster card they are going to shit their pants.

Comment #53: Katherine  on  04/22  at  05:15 AM

My dogs are microchipped. I think if I had children, I would do the same thing. I know stranger danger is overblown but you never know.

Comment #54: pitbullgirl65  on  04/22  at  08:06 AM

With children, just give them a nifty necklace or bracelet with the chip instead, preferably one with something like their blood type and allergies engraved.  No one is going to remove a medical bracelet or necklace from a child in public, particularly if they don’t want to look guilty of something.

Comment #55: helen w. h.  on  04/22  at  08:42 AM

BABH:  They already do implant microshockers in very, very actively seizuring Turret’s or epilepsia sufferers.  I saw a show about it.  These people have constant seizures and can’t live or work or care for themselves.  They found that low levels of electroshocks deep in the brain helps to regulate, and they can at least get some relief from the constant seizures.  What would the fundies make of that?

electronically readable marking

Did anyone notice that gem in the Act?  LOL It really is all about the Beast for these nuts.

Comment #56: speedbudget  on  04/22  at  08:59 AM

The infamous quote in Revelations is something like “And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads: And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.

I always wanted to write a short story about this. Basically, my idea is that whoever wrote that passage in Revelations was trying to interpret divine visions that he couldn’t understand, and this passage was as close as he could get to explaining what he saw. He basically saw people presenting their hand or their head in order to initiate commerce, and he assumed that meant there must be a mark on one or the other. When in fact… and here’s where the twist is… there is no mark (or microchip) at all. People in the visions are just… (drumroll please)... scanning their fingerprints, or retinas, for positive identification before using their credit accounts!

BWAHAHAHA!

That clever Antichrist… turns out there is no mark of the beast at all. All you have to do is get your fingerprint or retina scan registered with the government (or Mastercard- the horror, the horror), and you’re screwed. And since fingerprint scans are already on most driver’s licenses, most of us are already scooped up in this clever trap.

If I ever did publish this story, it might REALLY fuel the fundie fever swamp, don’t you think?

Comment #57: badpoetry  on  04/22  at  11:03 AM

Awhile back I read the first couple of books in the left behind series and it was great when all the good christians got raptured, almost makes me wish that stuff was true.

Comment #58: John Rove  on  04/22  at  11:11 AM

In some places, the local police department offers GPS-type bracelets for people with alzheimers, autistic children and other people who might not be able to explain where they live.  That way if they wander off the info can be retrieved and the people sent home.

Comment #59: Susa  on  04/22  at  12:48 PM

It’s illegal, of course, to make fundamentalist Christianity the state religion, but passing laws like this is how the legislature can signal to the Christian right that they really wish they could.

Oh, Amanda; you’re being brainwashed by the librul media again. The theocratic e-mail I get says that the Constitution doesn’t allow Congress to establish an official religion for the whole country, but that nothing prevents an individual state from establishing an official religion for that state. Therefore, the fact that the state legislatures in Real America don’t make fundamentalist Christianity their state’s official religion is proof positive that fundamentalist Christians are once again being persecuted by godless libruls who have the system gamed.


No, really.

Comment #60: RickMassimo  on  04/22  at  01:50 PM

This would be hilarious, were it not for the fact, that GA, like CA, is furloughing their state employees, including people like my ex-girlfriend in academia there, and she’s dealing with other shit that I won’t talk about because to do so would probably paint a target on her back, people who’ve never lived in the South have no idea what it can be like down there…..........

Comment #61: Dark Avenger Guardian Chow Mein  on  04/22  at  02:03 PM

My dogs are microchipped. I think if I had children, I would do the same thing. I know stranger danger is overblown but you never know.

please tell me you are kidding.

Comment #62: sophiefair  on  04/22  at  02:43 PM

Dark Avenger, I work in academia in GA. I’ve had the furlough days. My job is on the chopping blog, depending on the size of the cut - and it’s a tenure-track professorship.

It’s bad, people, and our General Assembly would rather deal with this non-existent problem than raise taxes on the wealthy. Of course, they have no problem raising taxes on the poor...

WF

Comment #63: Wes F. in Hapeville  on  04/22  at  03:46 PM

Rick,

That actually was true, until the Fourteenth Amendment was ratified.  States were permitted to (and did) establish state religions.  No joke.

Comment #64: Ismone  on  04/22  at  06:56 PM

States were permitted to (and did) establish state religions.  No joke.

No joke, indeed.  Virginia’s state legislature was so dominated by Anglicans it passed laws persecuting Baptists.  IIRC, Maryland was essentially run by Catholics and Georgia by Baptists.

Of course for the fundies, that’s a feature, not a bug.  It never seems to occur to them that a state-sponsored Christianity might not be the sect they like.

Comment #65: Sour Kraut  on  04/23  at  10:35 AM
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