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Next entry: I’ll Take A Biopsy With Surround Sound, Please Previous entry: ‘Gay panic’ floated in murder of HS music teacher

Gonzo shopping a memoir calling himself a ‘casualty of the war on terror’

Just mind-blowing. Former Constitution shredder Alberto Gonzales told the WSJ that he hasn’t found gainful employment (or a publisher for this fish wrapper) and blames everyone except himself for f*cking up and politicizing the Justice Department.

The onetime Bush Attorney General admitted Tuesday that “skittish” law firms won’t hire him after his departure under fire from the Justice Department surrounding his role in the political firings of nine US Attorneys. He says he considers himself a victim of the “war on terror,” though his firing actually came after what seemed to be a war on US Attorneys who didn’t cleave to Administration policies.

Sounding dumbfounded, the 53-year-old former judge and corporate lawyer told the Wall Street Journal, “What is it that I did that is so fundamentally wrong, that deserves this kind of response to my service?”

He says he’s delivered a few paid speeches, done mediation work and arbitration.

In the interview, he also said he’s writing a book but hasn’t yet found a publisher. He also sounded flummoxed by the amount of rancor leveled at his stewardship of the Justice Department, saying he wasn’t the one to blame.

“For some reason, I am portrayed as the one who is evil in formulating policies that people disagree with,” Gonzales said. “I consider myself a casualty, one of the many casualties of the war on terror.”

Jon Perr over at Perrspectives does a nice summary on this, including Gonzales’ view of the infamous thuggish visit to “extremely ill and disoriented” former Attorney General John Ashcroft’s hospital bed (following) emergency gall bladder surgery trying to get the ailing man’s John Hancock on renewal of Bush’s illegal domestic surveillance program.

Jesus General has this employment suggestion - a greeter at Wal-Mart:

He has a lot to offer a company like Wal-Mart. If someone asks him where to return merchandise, he could tell them he doesn’t recall, or better yet, say something like, “You did not buy that here; you built it in your garage,” or “Uh, you’re at the wrong place. This isn’t Wal-Mart. Nancy Pelosi switched our signs during the night.”

Related:
* Dissembling Alberto Gonzales flails in testimony
* Alberto Gonzales, child sex abuse enabler
* The Gonzalez mess: can anyone in this administration ever take responsibility?

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Posted by Pam Spaulding on 10:46 AM • (25) Comments

From an illustrious tenure as Chief Counsel and Attorney General, let’s see: torture, ravaging the Justice Department with incompetent cronies, torture, subordinating the rule of law to personal loyalties to the buffoon and caricature of evil occupying the White House, torture, kidnaping and illegal confinement, torture, sanctioning kangaroo courts for illegally imprisoned people, and torture. I’m sure there is more. Yet, somehow, he is a victim in the “war on terror” not the people kidnapped, illegally imprisoned and tortured? Not the American people who have seen the rule of law and their country’s moral authority undermined?

Why do we have to keep hearing from these people? They cry they were all victims, and to the extent they weren’t they are still holding a middle finger up to the American people (“So?” “So what?”). And they give interviews as if future leaders urgently require their expertise and advice. They are lucky they haven’t been indicted for crimes against humanity, even by Western European courts that have been pursuing tinpot dictators for years.

A gainful employment suggestion for Gonzales: door-to-door bible salesman. Not that peddling this trash isn’t pretty close.

Comment #1: Luke  on  01/02  at  11:20 AM

To a certain extent Gonzo really is a victim, but he’s a victim of Cheney and his band of far right authoritarian assholes.  He’s an accomplice, of course, since he wouldn’t have ended up here if he hadn’t been a knee-jerk follower of these people.  Gonzo is the kind of guy who could potentially have had a perfectly good career doing good work that really helps people if only he’d been under the supervision of a decent boss.  Absent a true moral center of his own, however, he got reamed.

I think it is a wholesome and good thing that Gonzo should suffer, as should everyone involved in the torture promotion process.  Fact is, Gonzo is sufficiently prominent to have general name recognition but not sufficiently tied into the Old Boy’s Network of the crony capitalist aristocracy to be taken care of as one of their own.  If he’d been white I bet he wouldn’t be having this difficulty.  They’d have found a spot for him somewhere, at a think tank if need be.

Comment #2: togolosh  on  01/02  at  12:18 PM

Gonzo is no victim; he willingly went along with and engineered the torture doctrine. You don’t do all the shit he did just because somebody urged you to go along with it. He wouldn’t have gone through law school if he had.

Comment #3: ginmar  on  01/02  at  12:27 PM

ginmar - Perhaps victim is too strong a word, but he’s certainly been a puppet of evil men much more powerful than he is.

Comment #4: togolosh  on  01/02  at  12:34 PM

“ginmar - Perhaps victim is too strong a word, but he’s certainly been a puppet of evil men much more powerful than he is.”

Sure.  Just like Himmler was a puppet of Hitler.  That doesn’t excuse anything at all…

Comment #5: MikeEss  on  01/02  at  12:38 PM

I really wish some journalist would laugh in his face when he said something that stupid.

“What’d I do?”

You okayed torture, you ass.  You wiretapped American citizens, strong-arming a man in his sickbed to do it.  You politicized the DOJ, fucking up justice for the rest of the country.

Seriously, people should be laughing hard in his face when he says stupid shit like that.  Why is he allowed to spin?  “Victim of the war on terror”?  So you’ve been held in Gitmo without reason and without recourse?

Un-fucking-believable.

Comment #6: Caren-Sun-blocking Creator of Animorphic Pancakes  on  01/02  at  12:39 PM

I think a good analogy for Gonzo is that of a person who takes a job as a prison guard in a place where there’s a culture of abusing prisoners. Sure, he’s complicit and evil, but he’s also been corrupted by the evil system around him. A few years in stir should give him time to reflect and repent, because he sure doesn’t seem to see this now.

Comment #7: paul  on  01/02  at  12:53 PM

Wait a second, he’s a “victim” because he’s only been doing (highly paid) temp jobs?  Oh, dude, you are NOT going to find a sympathetic audience in this economy.

Comment #8: Antigone  on  01/02  at  01:15 PM

“Wait a second, he’s a “victim” because he’s only been doing (highly paid) temp jobs?  Oh, dude, you are NOT going to find a sympathetic audience in this economy.”

I hear Mickey D’s is hiring.  Although I have to admit, if I saw Abu G. at the cash register I’d either switch lines or leave altogether…

Comment #9: MikeEss  on  01/02  at  01:47 PM

BTW, I can hardly wait to hear the whining from the other “loyal” Bushites who find themselves as popular as flesh-eating bacteria…

Comment #10: MikeEss  on  01/02  at  01:49 PM

Don’t despair, Gonzo, I’m sure the outgoing president will need a pool boy down at his Dallas mansion.

Comment #11: forked tongue  on  01/02  at  01:52 PM

He knew what he was getting into, and then he lied about it. He could have made a million like Scottie McClellan did. He’s still whining about getting nailed for exactly what he did do. What is this ‘following orders’ type of bullshit? Maybe if any of these warmongers had seen actual war service or, hell, any service at all, they’d know about unlawful orders but then again, they just don’t have the backbone to stand up to an unlawful order. Plus they probably agree heart and soul that them Muslims are all terrarists.

Comment #12: ginmar  on  01/02  at  02:06 PM

“What is it that I did that is so fundamentally wrong, that deserves this kind of response to my service?”  = “It ain’t the way I wanted it! I can handle things! I’m smart! Not like everybody says… like dumb… I’m smart and I want respect!”

Comment #13: Grandjester  on  01/02  at  02:09 PM

Awwwww, puddin.  Bein a paid up member of the Amoral Monster Gang didn’t work out like you thought it would.  What’s that I hear?  The teeny-tiny violin sonata?

Comment #14: Kathleen  on  01/02  at  02:57 PM

Antigone - seriously, what I wouldn’t give for a high paid temp job right now (or a reasonably paid one)

Comment #15: DDay  on  01/02  at  03:18 PM

Sure.  Just like Himmler was a puppet of Hitler.  That doesn’t excuse anything at all…

I think of Gonzales as more of an Eichmann.  Not really an idealogue, didn’t really hate Jews or Gypsies, but more than happy to figure out the most efficient way to slaughter 12 million people, half of them Jews, because he wanted to please his higher-ups.

Comment #16: Mnemosyne  on  01/02  at  03:19 PM

That Gonzalez has no publisher lined up for his “book” is also telling.

Anyone that famous writing a book on spec (without a contract and publisher’s advance) is a loooooooooooser.

Anyone else otherwise that well-known would have to but murmur the word “book” in public, before a publishing house bore down on him with a six-figure contract, advance payment and ghost writer in tow.

Publishers also aren’t lining up for a George Bush book, another indication how toxic these people are.

And it ain’t even that nobody would buy their books. Publishers may be reconciled to just breaking even if a big name’s book rubs off some glory on them.

The fake “conservative” presses are bankrolled by billionaire nutsos who give away the tripe for free to push the crazy town message. If even they haven’t ponied up for those two bozos, Bush and Gonzalez are untouchables in book publishing, which will whore itself after the lowest of the low, if there’s money or publicity, or conservative tripe to be made.

Comment #17: judy brown  on  01/02  at  03:45 PM

“skittish law firms”

Uh-huh.
Like “Skittish Fire Departments Decline to Hire Serial Arsonist.”

Comment #18: hbsweet, empress of ice cream  on  01/02  at  03:48 PM

Anyone that famous writing a book on spec (without a contract and publisher’s advance) is a loooooooooooser.

Seriously, he can’t even get Regnery to pony up some cash?

Comment #19: Mnemosyne  on  01/02  at  04:26 PM

Gonzo’s book won’t sell because everyone knows it will be a whitewash not just of Gonzo himself but of the administration as a whole.  If he was to do a tell-all he’d have publishers lining up around the block, but that’s not his nature.  He’s a genuine loyalist.

Comment #20: togolosh  on  01/02  at  04:45 PM

“Gonzo’s book won’t sell because everyone knows it will be a whitewash not just of Gonzo himself but of the administration as a whole.”

...his book would probably only be a single page, consisting of a picture of Gonzales smiling while anticipating somebody’s torture.  There couldn’t be much else or his previous use of the “I can’t recall” defense will be exposed as total (and possibly criminal) bullshit…

Comment #21: MikeEss  on  01/02  at  05:58 PM

My evil side revels in the schadenfreude of seeing at least one Bushie suffer at least some small consequences for his crimes.

My better angels suggest that perhaps, just perhaps, this might serve as a learning experience for ex-AG A.G.

After all, if Gonzo sincerely repents his crimes, his next move might be to start talking, and that could lead to all sorts of good things.

Comment #22: Dr. Psycho  on  01/02  at  06:32 PM

What a cretin.  I hear Shrubby and Laura have an opening at the new dacha in Dallas - Flunky in Chief.

Comment #23: CParis  on  01/02  at  06:35 PM

Publishers also aren’t lining up for a George Bush book, another indication how toxic these people are.

Well, not just that, but that their books will be such a pack of lies that even their loyalists will be embarrassed by the white-washing.

I mean really, what are they going to write?  Yes, I authorized torture?  Yes, I pissed on the Constitution.  Yes, I trashed habeus corpus, a right recognized since the Magna Carta and King John?

Of course not.  They’re writing in their bubble, where they were greeted with flowers for invading Iraq.

Comment #24: Caren  on  01/02  at  09:17 PM

“Anyone that famous writing a book on spec (without a contract and publisher’s advance) is a loooooooooooser. “

“Seriously, he can’t even get Regnery to pony up some cash?”

Apparently not. Like I said, he and Bush are truly toxic if even the right wing nutso press won’t touch them with the proverbial ten-foot poll.

Comment #25: judy brown  on  01/03  at  03:42 PM
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