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Next entry: Siri didn’t kick my dog or call me in the middle of the night while I was sleeping Previous entry: The GOP wants to take your money and give it to rich people, full stop

How many ways can Glenn Beck fail in a single letter?

Choads

I usually prefer to ignore Glenn Beck these days, but his response to the whole Herman Cain situation is actually pretty typical of the various ways that all sorts of people are failing miserably to address the situation with anything approaching decency or competence, so I figured I'd take a moment to comb over it. You see, Beck decided to write a letter of "dating advice" to Herman Cain, and it might pack more fail into a single document than has ever happened in the history of creating documents. 

A few double takes were done Tuesday night when Beck emailed his mailing list with this subject line: “Dating 101: Glenn tells Cain how to handle the ladies

The first word of this is utter failure. Cain is alleged to have done a lot of things, but none of them can really be called "dating", in the sense that we Americans use the word. Dating is understood in our culture as an ethically sound behavior that people therefore perform openly. If you're on a date with someone, for instance, you're generally not going to freak out if you randomly run into a friend. Cain is accused of having an affair with one woman, which is generally understood as different than boring old dating. He's also been accused, repeatedly, of sexual harassment. This isn't like dating or having an affair, and I'm deeply sick of people conflating the two. Cain doesn't need advice on how to "handle" the ladies. If he is, as he claims, in a monogamous marriage, then he shouldn't be handling ladies at all. And no one needs to handle non-consenting ladies.

“Another day, another Herman Cain sex scandal,” writes Beck’s email. “The truth is so hard to find amidst all the lies these days, it makes it hard to say with certitude whether or not all of these accusations piling up against former pizza tycoon Herman Cain are in any way legit. Are people just trying to gain their 15 minutes of fame, or is Herman Cain as prolific a scorer as Wilt Chamberlain?”

Trying to set an Olympic record of wrong, Beck? First of all, sexually harassing women is not "scoring" with them, and anyone who convinces themselves of that is quite literally the most pathetic piece of shit ever to slither out of the gutter. You don't accuse someone of "scoring" with you. Please stop conflating grab-ass with the unwilling and sexual contact between consenting adults. Please. I beg you. 

But what really bothers me is the proliferation of Cain's preferred explanation for how all these women are coming out of the woodwork all at once, which is that it's a giant conspiracy against him. Or that he somehow has managed to meet more mentally ill women with attention-seeking disorders than roughly any other politician in history. In the first instance, you'd have to accept that the Democrats---or even the Republicans---have the means and desire to organize this elaborate conspiracy, but they chose to do so against someone who never really had a chance in hell of getting the nomination, much less winning the presidency. (Obama wishes he could go up against Cain, believe me.) In the second instance, well, all things are possible, of course, but the likelihood of that happening is incredibly low. It's telling how sexist our society is that we still have to allow for the extremely unlikely possibility that deceitful attention-seeking mental disorders are so common amongst women that they affect like 5% of women that Herman Cain seems to have met. 

This whole thing really has been a remarkable demonstration of how rape apologists and other sexists have really set the bar for believing women who complain of sexual harassment and abuse absurdly high. Beck is far from the only person carrying on like there's an equal probability between the possibility that a half dozen separate acquaintances of Cain's are lying, crazy bitches and that they may just be telling the honest truth. That's ridiculous. Especially since mentally ill people spinning stories tend to have a history of doing so and the stories they spin are often unbelievable. Nothing that Cain is said to have done is unbelievable, and in fact, the mundanity of it only adds to the believability.

Later in the email: “Dating 101: Glenn tells Cain how to handle the ladies. Herman Cain’s constant flow of sexual misconduct allegations against him sparked a heated debate on radio today. What are the types of situations at work that are acceptable to engage in and which are unacceptable?”

Simple: sexually harassing women is unacceptable. Stop pretending that you don't know this, assholes of the world. As any woman could tell you if you bothered to ask, when a man harasses you, watching you squirm with fear and discomfort is part of the pleasure he takes in doing it. 

“I’d be a fool as a CEO or a head of a company to have dinner with a good friend who is also an employee. I’d be foolish to do that. … There’s just no reason to put yourself in that situation. Why would I put myself in that situation?”

Beck is lying. He works in media, where socializing with colleagues is more common than not. But this is even more offensive than that. The problem is not men and women who work together being alone in the same way two male colleagues would be alone. The problem is the choice to sexually harass someone. Either Beck is implying that men can't behave properly if left alone with a woman for a moment, or he's falling back on the "lying bitches" paranoia that suggests that women will claim sexual harassment at the drop of a hat. Either way, he's wrong. 

“Women and men do not think the same way,” said Beck. “I’ve been trying to tell my daughters, who will tell me, ‘Dad, he’s just a friend.’ Is he? He’s 17 years old and he’s just a friend? Really? If he’s gay, I buy it. If he’s not, no, he’s not. No, he’s not. He wants sex. Period. Women and men think differently.”

Great lesson to teach your daughter, that the only value you have to men at all is sexual. Now, it may be true that a 17-year-old girl might consider if her friend is actually a Nice Guy® only pretending to be her friend to get her in the sack. But a blanket assertion that the only thing men want from women ever is sex, and that women have no value to men outside of that? Let me remind you, Beck is making this statement in the context of work life. He's quite literally saying that men cannot look at a colleague and see them as "good at accounting" or "an excellent graphic designer". If a man comes into your office and says, for instance, "Hey, would you be interested in working on this project together?", Beck is saying it's literally impossible---unless he's gay---to be asking you because he thinks you'd be good at the job. No, he just wants your vagina. Because that's all you are to men. 

Sad that guys like this are allowed to fucking raise daughters, isn't it?

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Posted by Amanda Marcotte on 12:27 PM • (26) Comments

If the daughters exist, they need to be raised by someone. Sad that guys like this are able to find women willing to produce children with them.

Comment #1: Alyson Miers  on  12/01  at  01:52 PM

Just because he can’t look at his teen daughter without wanting sex doesn’t mean a well-raised feminist young man can’t control himself.

Geesh.

Comment #2: Ms Kate  on  12/01  at  01:54 PM

There is one nugget of good advice lurking amidst Beck’s nonsense—dining one-on-one is inadvisable for someone in Herman Cain’s previous positions, because the power differential between CEO and low-level employee can make any overtures look like harassment. Just consider the apparently non-sexual relationship between ousted HP head Mark Hurd, and contractor Jodie Fisher. Whatever transpired between them was enough for Gloria Allred to take Fisher on as a client.

http://tech.fortune.cnn.com/2010/11/04/what-really-happened-between-hp-ex-ceo-mark-hurd-and-jodie-fisher/

Comment #3: Hector B.  on  12/01  at  02:03 PM

That he was allowed to breed at all is a crime against humanity. 

I sincerely hope his daughters are smarter and less ragey-hate-mongery than he is.  I hope they learn about the world outside of their father’s sick cesspool of hatred and lying and know that they don’t have to put up with him.

Comment #4: Rare Vos  on  12/01  at  02:06 PM

So if men only ever want sex when they see a woman, what does Glenn Beck see in his daughter?

Comment #5: Kyra  on  12/01  at  02:24 PM

dining one-on-one is inadvisable for someone in Herman Cain’s previous positions, because the power differential between CEO and low-level employee can make any overtures look like harassment.

It would certainly look weird if a male CEO randomly invited a woman he’d never met who works in, say, the mail room out for a one-on-one “totally professional” dinner. But the scenario Beck proposed was that in addition to the dude being a CEO, he and the woman in question are also good friends. Unlikely - CEOs of large companies probably don’t mingle much outside their class - but were that the case I wouldn’t bat an eyelash at that whole scenario.

I mean, the argument seems to be that you can’t trust your good friend not to make false allegations against you, if that friend is a woman. ‘Cause, y’know, crazy lying bitches and all that.

Comment #6: Triplanetary  on  12/01  at  02:34 PM

I don’t see how there is anything wrong with “dining” if there is a power differential.  The good advice would not be that you shouldn’t dine but that you shouldn’t make “overtures”.  How else are you going to run a business?

Comment #7: ewellone  on  12/01  at  02:38 PM

Beck also implies that it is impossible for a man to set aside his feelings and deal with a woman he likes as something other than a potential lay. I have several male friends who had feelings for me at some point.  They expressed their feelings, I expressed my lack of feelings, and we went on as friends.

And for that matter, my HUSBAND treats me as more than just someone he can screw.

Comment #8: Jayn Newell  on  12/01  at  02:45 PM

If the young man is ‘controlling himself’, then he still wants sex, in some sense or another.

Vocabulary obviously matters a lot here.  None of the dialogue is allowing any space between “totally unattracted” and “wants nothing but sex”, even though almost everything happens in between.  Everyone’s experiences are different, but yeah, when I was a teenage boy, when I liked a girl well enough to call her my friend, I invariably ended up attracted to her, even if I hadn’t been at all before we were friends.  Doesn’t mean I acted on it (I did, once), doesn’t mean I was pretending to be their friends (friends came first), but there was some element of controlling myself, I suppose.

Without attraction, there’s nothing to control.  With attraction, you get the discrepancy.

Comment #9: Brian  on  12/01  at  02:51 PM

For some reason, weird creepiness seems to be more peaked on the ‘net today.

Comment #10: Amanda Marcotte  on  12/01  at  02:58 PM

I guess less attractive women who aren’t necessarily at the threshold of sexual desirability don’t really exist in their world.

Comment #11: Mighty Ponygirl  on  12/01  at  03:17 PM

29-year-old male here. One of my best friends in all the world is a woman I met in college. Objectively, she’s beautiful in a classic sense, and not once have I ever obsessed over having sex with her. Not because that’s some sort of standard I’m holding myself to, but because-

“He wants sex. Period.”

Well, no.

Comment #12: D.N. Nation  on  12/01  at  03:35 PM

Comment #7: ewellone on 12/01 at 02:38 PM

I don’t see how there is anything wrong with “dining” if there is a power differential.  The good advice would not be that you shouldn’t dine but that you shouldn’t make “overtures”.  How else are you going to run a business?

If the boss dines with an employee of the opposite gender, even if it’s completely overture-free, it can still cause problems.  Tongues may wag, perceptions of favoritism may emerge, etc.

Comment #13: sacundim  on  12/01  at  03:39 PM

Kyra @ #5: chattel, most likely.

Comment #14: chareth cutestory  on  12/01  at  03:43 PM

But the scenario Beck proposed was that in addition to the dude being a CEO, he and the woman in question are also good friends.

OK, I didn’t recognize that as a Herman Cain scenario. The women who have been coming forward were all low-level employees who met Cain when he was CEO.

The Hurd-Fisher scenario matters to me because it cost me money: HP stock declined 50% in a year under Hurd’s successor, back to the market price it had when Hurd was hired. Had Hurd never dined with Fisher one-on-one—no matter what transpired between them—he would not have started on a course that led to his being fired.

Neither of the principals have explained what happened, beyond Fisher’s saying there was no affair and that they never had sex. Fisher brought a sexual harassment claim against Hurd personally, not against HP, which I find to be extremely odd. I suspect there is a grey area between “men can’t keep it in their pants” and “women are lying bitches.” They settled the claim the day before Hurd was fired.

Comment #15: Hector B.  on  12/01  at  03:50 PM

OK, I didn’t recognize that as a Herman Cain scenario.

Oh, it’s not. But within the hypothetical scenario that Beck proposes - male CEO and good female friend who just happens to also be his subordinate - Beck seems to be saying that you absolutely shouldn’t have dinner together, and his basis for that seems to be the old conservative canard about how women will claim sexual harassment just for the fuck of it.

Comment #16: Triplanetary  on  12/01  at  03:59 PM

male CEO and good female friend who just happens to also be his subordinate

This would be an unambiguous relationship. Although I suppose a friend can always turn on you, I can’t picture anyone ever considered a friend claiming sexual harassment where none existed.

The context of a dinner is important. Traditional businesses are very hierarchical. The distance between them in the hierarchy would likely determine if the dinner was business or social.

Generally bosses eat dinner with their immediate subordinates, to find out what’s going on in the company in a semi-relaxed atmosphere, which is a legitimate business purpose. Going out to eat with a good friend in the mailroom would be more likely to be social, unless the mailroom worker can also tell the boss what is going on in the company, because they are the hub of an informal network, for example. Charging meals to the company when they lack a business purpose will get you in trouble with the company, as they did with Hurd.

Comment #17: Hector B.  on  12/01  at  04:39 PM

Brian@#9:

Most people want sex.  Even people who want sex and wouldn’t mind tumbling a friend can still relate to people outside of that desire.

What Beck is trumpeting here is the Right Wing Absenence Only Dogma where teen boys are horndogs who cannot be expected to exercise self control, and girls are pure and shy and are responsible for keeping the horndogs at bay so that their daddy-owned hymens stay intact.

This not only postulates, as Beck does, that boys are incapable of self control or relating to girls as other than potential sex partners, it absolves them of any and all responsibility for self-control and for growing into adult human beings.

Comment #18: Ms Kate  on  12/01  at  05:25 PM

Sad that guys like this are allowed to fucking raise daughters, isn’t it?

I’m not too thrilled about the way they raise sons either.

Comment #19: bananacat  on  12/01  at  08:38 PM

Everyone’s experiences are different, but yeah, when I was a teenage boy, when I liked a girl well enough to call her my friend, I invariably ended up attracted to her, even if I hadn’t been at all before we were friends.

This isn’t exclusive to teenage boys, as gets pointed out over and over. When you don’t have a lot of romantic experience, if you meet someone of the opposite sex who’s at all physically attractive to you and who you get along with, you’re probably going to think of them as a potential date or sex partner, whether you feel any kind of genuine sexual chemistry with them or not. When you get more experience you start to realize the difference between someone you want to date vs. a friend who happens to be hot.

Comment #20: junk science  on  12/01  at  08:42 PM

I guess less attractive women who aren’t necessarily at the threshold of sexual desirability don’t really exist in their world.

Don’t be so hard on yourselves, ugly chicks. Eventually you’ll find a dude willing to let you suck his dick when he can’t get any hot chicks to do it.

Comment #21: junk science  on  12/01  at  08:53 PM

Hooray!

Comment #22: Mighty Ponygirl  on  12/01  at  09:45 PM

This isn’t exclusive to teenage boys, as gets pointed out over and over. When you don’t have a lot of romantic experience, if you meet someone of the opposite sex who’s at all physically attractive to you and who you get along with, you’re probably going to think of them as a potential date or sex partner, whether you feel any kind of genuine sexual chemistry with them or not. When you get more experience you start to realize the difference between someone you want to date vs. a friend who happens to be hot.

This. Very much this. I recall as far back as high school I had female friends who were hot. There was definitely some sexual attraction there in some cases (I can think of one in particular), but for my part I really liked the friendship angle we had going on, and so chose not to pursue romantic relationships. Sometimes these female friends are ones that I would have, if they weren’t dating somebody else already. But I was also very outgoing in all circumstances… except romantic. Took me a long time to get seriously involved with any woman, even with all my hot female friends.

Even now I meet the occasional woman that I am attracted to but choose not to pursue, what with me being all married and all (my wife doesn’t care how much I flirt, however, so I do plenty of that). Sometimes attraction goes away, sometimes it doesn’t, but it can always be managed and controlled. I can think about other things while talking to attractive female friends or colleagues, such as the topic of conversation or the job we’re working on. Not all that difficult.

Comment #23: Matthew, Patron Saint of Affogato  on  12/01  at  11:07 PM

@19 Bananacat:  I second this.  If they’re too messed-up to raise girls, they’re too messed up to raise boys too.

Comment #24: gretchen  on  12/01  at  11:51 PM

They’re too messed up to raise humans. Come to think of it, I wouldn’t trust them with dogs, either.

Comment #25: Triplanetary  on  12/02  at  02:14 PM

@ #12: I know, I’m so tired of this stereotype.  The worst are the guys who go “All guys want sex all the time.  Any guy who says differently is lying!”  Oh really?  I didn’t know psychic powers came with the Dudebro International membership kit.

What’s really disturbing is I’ve dated women who took this to heart, and started getting really suspicious when I didn’t pressure them for sex.  Like it was all part of some big scheme or something… all thanks to a bunch of d-bags who decided that they get to speak for everyone with a penis (QUILTBAG folks don’t count, natch).

Also, Glenn Beck: why u no disappear already?

Comment #26: copper  on  12/05  at  03:09 AM
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