If it were the mirror universe, having caught Reynolds lying and/or lying incompetently, we’d get to use the agonizer on him.

Well, at least they called us the Democratic party, not the Democrat Party, or the Democrat Socialist Atheist Gay Terrorist party…

Yeah, but I think it’s also an old e-mail forward before they came up with those.

Please god, let us have goatees. Otherwise, all the work I’m doing on placing alternate reality Dems in power will be useless. USELESS!

Wait…you expected someone to fact check?

You act as if snopes and the Google were as easy to use as posting a link on a blog.  Plus, it all sounds good, and slams the Democrats hard, so why mess with it.

Seriously, Jesse.  They called them the “Democratic Party” and not the “Democrat Socialist Party”, what else do you want?

Yeah, I was born & raised in Tennessee, but moved away about 20 years ago. Not because of Glenn Reynolds. Because of all the stupid fucking hillbilly redneck assholes.

That does not mean that Glenn reynolds isn’t a piece of shit. Because he is.

Or, you know, what Mad Librarian typed while I chased down a couple kids mid-post.

The first page of your link to SSA debunks the first part of Kimball’s idiocy. (http://www.ssa.gov/history/InternetMyths.html) He and the Tennessee Twit are both such effing tools.

I have to wonder why Glenn apparently doesn’t have any problems with becoming the “right wing dad”-type who forwards stupid right-wing chain e-mails.

That email’s on par with the old “Democrats start wars, Republicans end them” chestnut.

“So, the entire argument about Social Security presented here is that in some alternative reality where Social Security worked entirely differently than it ever has or ever world, Democrats are evil.”

Having been born and raised in a (small ‘c’) conservative Republican family, I lived in that alternative world for a very long time. 

This was a world where JFK was a joke, LBJ was Satan, civil rights workers/protesters were nothing more than communist infiltrators trying to destroy American society, where those lazy coloreds didn’t know just how good they had it, where RFK and MLK “got what they deserved”, where the Vietnam War was a necessary expense to counter the Russkies and the Chinese, and where Richard Nixon was boldly trying to put America back on the straight-‘n-narrow at the same time Governor Ronald Reagan was doing this for California.

It took years of exposure to ultra-liberal college professors, the liberal-controlled media, and the filthy backside of American Capitalism before I was able to disconnect myself from The Conservative Matrix and see the world for what it really was.  At the rate I’m going, I’ll be a full-fledged Marxo-Anarchist before I leave this mortal coil.

It’s sad but I’m all too aware that these people exist and most of them are very serious.

Actually it’s not just sad, it’s very frightening…

Regarding the goatee, in the late ‘60s/early ‘70s, no decent human being would have facial hair (except maybe a Walt Disney ‘stache).  My dad wore a John-Tester-style Flat Top until he couldn’t find barbers who could do it right anymore.  Those dirty hippies were the ones who mocked America by having beards and long hair…

I, for one, would have no goatee in an alternative universe.

nor was there even an income tax deduction for FICA withholding (which doesn’t make sense - why would you have an income tax deduction for what’s effectively a flat income tax?).

We self-employeds get a parital deduction for social security, but nobody’s done away with that.

Q: Which party created Social Security?

A: The Bull Moose Party.

Q: Who has been trying to destroy Social Security since then?

A: Snidely Whiplash and his dog, Democratly.

Q: Who is the greatest X-Man of all time?

A: Hal Jordan.

Rea, I should have remembered that.  (Although even that is explained as a leveling mechanism given the way FICA normally works with a half-contribution from the employer.)

Q: Which Political Party took Social Security from the independent “Trust” fund and put it into the General fund so that Congress could spend it?
A: Comrade Roosevelt and the Communist Party, who then used to money to buy airplanes for the Germans so they could bomb Pearl Harbor and start The Great War.

Q: Which Political Party eliminated the income tax deduction for Social Security (FICA) withholding?
A: The Democrat Socialist Marxofascist Party who hate white people.

Q: Which Political Party started taxing Social Security annuities?
A: It was the Democrat Party, and Al Gore used Bill Clinton’s Penis of Destiny to sign the documents officially declaring war on everyone older than 60.

Q: Which Political Party decided to start giving annuity payments to immigrants who had not paid into the Social Security system?
A: The ghosts of Roosevelt, JFK, and LBJ all visited Jimmy Carter just before Christmas and convinced him to steal the money belonging to the hard-working American Bob Cratchits to make sure that Little Timmy could never have the operation he needed.  And then Carter laughed and spit on some Vietnam War vets…

As a sad testament to Internet culture, I have to say that every time I saw the word ‘goatee’ in this post and subsequent comments, my brain substituted it with ‘goatse’.

Truly it would be an evil universe in which everybody had goatse.

And you may only argue that Bishop is the greatest X-Man of all time.”

Even as a joke, HOW can you say that?

Well, maybe it’s “Bishop is the greatest X-Man of all Time, since he’s a time-travellin’ man.  You know, like some sort of lame pun about wibbley-wobbley timey-wimey stuff…

Oh, I got nothing.  Bishop is a McGuffin and thereby incapable of being the Greatest X-Man of All Time.

I don’t understand why they’re thumping the tubs on Social Security right now. Didn’t Bush get his ass handed to him when he tried to “reform” (i.e., cut) SS benefits? How is this issue supposed to be a winner in a recession? People want to put even more of their retirement benefits at Wall Street’s mercy about like they want a case of hemmorhoids.

I’ve still never gotten past the whole “I’m a Libertarian employed by the state and protected by a system that makes it virtually impossible to fire me no matter what sort of stupid shit I write” part of Glenn Reynolds, so this is tiny in comparison.  This is about what you would expect from an incredibly lazy mind.

Bishop is a McGuffin and thereby incapable of being the Greatest X-Man of All Time.

Also because he’s not Cyclops.

I sure am glad Madelyn turned out to be a demonic evil clone, rather than a real person. Otherwise, leaving his wife for his dead ex might have made him a distinct breed of asshole.

I tend to think that some people go the “other” way when placed into an environment where generally there are more open and fair minded people..
My mother, for example - she’s a prof. at a rather small midwestern university and, while universities tend to skew more liberal than conservative, she insisted on sending me right wing forward after right wing forward leading up to the election (because, in Dec. of ‘07 while I was home for Xmas and saw one of Obama’s Iowa ads - I mentioned that I though that he was the most likely to win) - mostly about how Barack Obama was going to SUBJUGATE EVERYONE OMG!
It’s rather strange how a lot of them tend to give their own kooky brand of “legitimacy” to things by whipping out almost unrelated bye-bull verses as well.
Anyhow- I find it really frustrating that my mother - who is PAID to teach children how to critically think will not do so herself when it comes to her political views.

Silly people, facts and history are for sissy ‘librul wimps!  Real Men(TM) don’t need no facts and reality.  They make reality fit to their own opinions.

As a sad testament to Internet culture, I have to say that every time I saw the word ‘goatee’ in this post and subsequent comments, my brain substituted it with ‘goatse’.

I feel deep sorrow for you.

Danica, I think sometimes it’s easier to differentiate yourself from the group.

I’ve often said that if, as a young Christian, I’d been sent to a secular university, I’d have likely come out the same rabid Christian, because I would have seen myself as a ‘light on a hill’ or whatever in a sea of secularism.

Instead, me Mum sent me to our Christian university where, surrounded by absolutely terrible people who believed the same things I *thought* I did, I graduated as liberal / left / feminist as you can imagine.

Which isn’t to say that secular schools aren’t just as filled with terrible people. But those I could have ‘explained’ as being ‘not like me’. When faced with terrible people who were ‘like me’, I chose to reevaluate some of my beliefs. Very healthy, I think.

Of course, the opposite can work, too. All of my Christian school friends are still super-Christian, so I might be an aberration.

This was a world where JFK was a joke, LBJ was Satan, civil rights workers/protesters were nothing more than communist infiltrators trying to destroy American society, where those lazy coloreds didn’t know just how good they had it, where RFK and MLK “got what they deserved”, where the Vietnam War was a necessary expense to counter the Russkies and the Chinese, and where Richard Nixon was boldly trying to put America back on the straight-’n-narrow at the same time Governor Ronald Reagan was doing this for California.

Reading Nixonland and Before the Storm was the first time I was ever was exposed to that alternate reality. Under 20s and under 30s don’t even know that shit existed. That Kennedy was “N*gger Kennedy” and a communist, and that MLK had a rock thrown at him in Chicago has been excised neatly, just like the coup attempt against FDR.

I mean, I knew there was McCarthy, and Birchite paranoia, and racists, but the scale and the scope is just shocking.

I’ve often said that if, as a young Christian, I’d been sent to a secular university, I’d have likely come out the same rabid Christian, because I would have seen myself as a ‘light on a hill’ or whatever in a sea of secularism.

Essie - I tend to think that (no matter what your religion- even if it’s goth/punk music) this is true.

But, there does seem to be something special built into christianity itself that makes a “believer” more prone to thinking that they’re special and apart from the world, more persecuted despite being the majority, and etc.

Which isn’t to say that secular schools aren’t just as filled with terrible people.

Don’t get me started on art school!

I love the * * * UPDATE * * * at the end of the post

As several readers have pointed out, some of the particulars of the above are “urban myths.” It is worth noting, however, that the gist of the lesson — i.e., that Social Security system has, throughout its evolution, been a Democratic initiative — is true, all too true.

It may all be a big lie, but when you think about it - it’s so true!

Danica, I can only assume it’s that hellfire and damnation that’s threatened it you stop being a Christian. That definitely caused me a bit of worry.

Whereas, if you stop being goth, it just means that you don’t have to buy black nail polish anymore. Or whatever the kids do these days.

It is worth noting, however, that the gist of the lesson — i.e., that Social Security system has, throughout its evolution, been a Democratic initiative — is true, all too true.

Indeed. And that’s part of the reason the Democrats did so well in the post-Depression era, and why it was so stupid for Dubya to try to take them on over it. Social Security is perhaps the most popular government program ever.

The best part is what his argument basically boils down to—if you believe all the lies I told you about Social Security, then you’ll hate it too, but if you realize they’re lies, then…LOOK, JANGLING KEYS!!!!!!!!

Hey, I can do it too:

Which well-known blogger routinely has sex with goats?

Glenn Reynolds.

Which blogger has consistently advocated for the repeal of bestiality laws so that he may indulge in his favorite pastime unmolested, as it were, by the law?

Glenn Reynolds.

Which blogger has re-written all of Shakespeare’s sonnets from the point of view of a man who is in love with a goat?

Glenn Reynolds, of course.

*Update:  As several readers have pointed out, some of the particulars of the above are “urban myths.”  It is worth noting that the gist of the lesson—that Glenn Reynolds is a blogger—is true, all too true.

And you may only argue that Bishop is the greatest X-Man of all time.

I argue that all the time.
But I have daddy issues.

Am I just tired? That “update” doesn’t even make sense.

The blog is saying, “Hey, guess who continually guts your favorite program, Social Security? DEMOCRATS!”. The update seems to be saying, “Okay, they didn’t gut your favorite program, but you have to admit they created it.”

It’s like hearing someone’s ex-girlfriend state triumphantly that, well, no, he didn’t actually cheat on her, but he is great in bed so you shouldn’t date him.

Also, Oliver North almost had bin Laden captured back in 1987, but Al Gore let him go.  I read it in a forwarded e-mail, so it is true.

What?  Al Gore ISN’T Bin Laden!  Then MY forwarded email lied to me!

Well said, Captain, well said.

It’s like hearing someone’s ex-girlfriend state triumphantly that, well, no, he didn’t actually cheat on her, but he is great in bed so you shouldn’t date him.

Best. Analogy. Ever.

Ah, shucks. T’weren’t a Jesse-quality analogy (damn you, Jesse, for making me laugh out loud at work!), but I thank you anyway.

stogoe:

Ah, but I specifically cited a fictitious unidentified chain e-mail that alleged—without foundation—that Glenn Reynolds fucks (not blows) goats.  Then in response to my all my fictitious readers pointing out that Glenn probably does not, in all likelihood, engage in carnal knowledge with any barnyard creatures (as far as we know), I reiterated my main point (which all you simpletons would understand if you had been paying attention) that he still is a blogger (and a conservative one, at that)...so my original point still stands. 

I win the internet and everything attached to it.

Baaah.

Whereas, if you stop being goth, it just means that you don’t have to buy black nail polish anymore. Or whatever the kids do these days.

LULZ SO MUCH WORSE! *mope* you gotta get rid of your music!
Hee hee
And that perma-ring of manic panic around your bathtub.

VETERAN?????

He sought and obtained five deferments!  Don’t use that word when talking about Cheney.  He’s a chickenhawk and isn’t entitled to that honorific.

As for America being in Iraq, it amazes me how few Americans remember Chatham (Pitt the Elder) on that very topic when speaking out against his own country’s war against the American colonists:

“If I were an American, as I am an Englishman, while a foreign troop was landed in my country, I never would lay down my arms - never, never, never !”

Whoops!  Wrong thread!  (Blushes)  Curse you, too many open tabs!

I do live in Tennessee, and so great was my offense that I figured out what portion of my taxes went to Reynolds’ salary, and then “went Galt” in that amount.

This process was simplified since Tennessee does not have an income tax, only sales taxes. I didn’t miss that Milky Way very much.

I don’t get email forwards like that.

I used too, but after I reply all’d to every one with Snopes links and quotes for a while, I stopped getting them. 

And Essie E, it twere too.