John McCain was totally a conservative superstar in 2000.  After that?  All down hill.  If only he’d won the nomination eight years ago he could have gracefully accepted defeat from Al Gore rather than going down in a flaming wreck to Barack Obama.  Ah, the fickle hand of fate pimps slaps yet again.

On behalf of the entire Toledo metropolitan area, I apologize for the existence of this craptacular specimen of alleged humanity.

Several thoughts. First, can we put to bed the notion that Joe W. was an innocent voter who found himself thrust into the limelight against his will and acknowledge that he’s a desperate attention-seeker who was ecstatic to find himself in a position where the cameras were on him?

Second, are they seriously so fucking desperate at McCain HQ that they would send Joe W. out on their behalf and let him talk foreign policy? What’s next? Ashley Todd on the campaign trail talking about the faltering economy?

Finally, is there anyone at McCain HQ besides McCain himself who isn’t just going through the motions right now?

There was a mix-up a few months ago—Joe the Plumber was trying to dislodge a particularly huge lump of shit from an Ohio toilet, when he accidentally fell in.  The huge lump of shit splashed up into Joe’s place and has been walking around, mistaken for human, ever since. 

Only now are people beginning to figure out that the semi-organic entity walking around calling itself “Joe the Plumber” is actually a huge lump of shit, passing for human.

I hope that older Jewish voter sees Palin’s guest preacher rail against “(pause to not say “Jewish”) Israeli” businessmen in that creepy video.

I also hope that Arizona will be considered a swing state next election so I can be an “undecided” voter with “concerns” about certain candidates.

This is yet more proof that while everyone, in theory, has the right to take part in the democratic process, to stand up and have their voice heard, not everyone should. Because most people just stare blankly into the spotlight and say whatever damn fool thing crosses their mind. Perhaps the Brits and Canadians had it right and we should move more towards a parliamentary process?

“Joey Joe Joe Junior Plumbadoo”

Awesome!

Just another example of how McCain has no control over his campaign whatsoever. Or maybe Joe’s just a ‘concerned patriot’.

This is great. Ms Palin is forbidden by McCain goons from speaking to reporters (hmmm, haven’t seen any “Free Sarah! t-shirt yet….), so a soundbyte-starved press follows this freaking guy soliciting his opinion on the most problematic, complex geopolitical issues of our time. Knowing that Joe—errr, Sam—has been devoting most of his non-entreprenurial time to studying BOTH Marx (in German no less) and Milton Friedman, I didn’t expect him to go into real detail on the ramifications of a permanently-partitioned Jerusalem—but neither, of course, did the McCain campaign or the press. Instead, they got exactly what they wanted. To Arab-Muslim-Socialist-Babykilling-AngryBlack, we can now add “bloodthirsty anti-semite.”
JtP might want to have a glance at Obama’s speech to AIPAC the day after the coronation in Denver. I think that’s the one where he explains to the Jewish leaders in the US precisely how he plans to destroy Israel. “I begin by appointing Ted Stevens US ambassador in Tel Aviv..”

Ms Palin may want to offer a follow up. She can probably see Palestine from the top floor at Neiman Marcus.

more on Palin et al at nosuppertonight.com. Stop by sometime.

Why is this doofus making “a stop” anywhere and fielding questions from anyone?

Joey Joe Joe Junior Plumbadoo? That’s the worst name I ever heard.

You know SamJoe the unlicensed Plumber has lost his cache when Shepard Smith of FOX News felt compelled to slap him down

Epic win for the Wayne’s World-loving audience member.

Someone stick a plunger in this ignorant phony already!

“There was a mix-up a few months ago—Joe the Plumber was trying to dislodge a particularly huge lump of shit from an Ohio toilet, when he accidentally fell in.  The huge lump of shit splashed up into Joe’s place and has been walking around, mistaken for human, ever since.

Only now are people beginning to figure out that the semi-organic entity walking around calling itself “Joe the Plumber” is actually a huge lump of shit, passing for human.”

Would you say this is an average level comment here at Pandagon? Better, worse?
I thought it was interesting.

Weird. Usually average Americans seeking fame avidly pursue reality TV options rather than joining political campaigns. How much you wanna bet that Joe the Unlicensed milks his “fame” and turns up on a reality show within 12 months? He could be Verne Troyer’s roommate on The Surreal Life.

“Wait, Joey Joe Joe!”

Of course if McCain becomes president, anyone below the age of forty will be drafted and everyone earning less than $250,000 a year will be thrown into work camps. But that’s just my opinion, I think it’s really up to the people to go out and check the facts and then maybe they’ll see why I said that. You just have to look at McCain’s record. Just because I’m saying this on a political board doesn’t mean I expect other people, etc., etc…...

“There’s a game my kids play where you have to go to an auction to win a treasure map.  One strategy is to seriously outbid all the competition.  All the other bidders sway with stars circling their heads as they are to stunned to do anything else.

Is that now McCain’s strategy?  Be so mind-numbingly stupid that anyone with a half a brain is too stunned to move, much less vote?”

I’d say the above is more your average Pandagon comment Descartes.

maggie, thank you for the open apology from toledo.  seriously.  i’m not being facetious.  i was born in toledo, spent most of my life til the age of 35 there (8 years in cleveland during my 20’s), and i’ve been living in los angeles for the past 4 years.  when i first saw joe the “moran” on t.v., my god did i shudder, and i instantly was so ashamed this jackass was from my hometown - after feeling so proud that senator obama spent so much time there (even the YMCA in oregon by my sister’s house!)  i know that type of person soooo well.  many of his defenders said, “this wasn’t a set up by mccain, joe was playing football in his front yard when he heard obama was in the neighborhood”.  and i never thought it was a set up by mccain.  instead, i’m sure joe knew through the secret service that obama was to be in his neighborhood.  and he thought he’d show up the smart african-american presidential candidate.  and obama treated him with such respect, spent so much time making sure joe understood his tax plan.  and what has happened since?  mccain and the right have boosted joe’s ego with this 15 minutes of fame, and i do believe joe the “moran” thinks he did show up senator obama, and perversely believes he has the i.q. to be a pundit.
god, just as i typed this comment, the local los angeles news did a story on that freaking joe the “moran”.  he really is an ignorant ass.

So the Republican presidential Campaign has been reduced to McCain, Dumb and Plumber.

Would you say this is an average level comment here at Pandagon? Better, worse?
I thought it was interesting.

When you get up off your fainting couch over that throwaway (and, for what I’ve seen around here, atypical) comment, let’s hear your defense of Joe the Phoney—if nothing else, you’ll prove that a comment can be (in your case, unintentionally) amusing without resorting to scatological humour.

Gracchus:

I have zero interest in Joe the whatever. I’m way more curious to see if Pandagon is on its way to DailyKos level. You know, comments not quite as intelligent as YouTube posts.

I have zero interest in Joe the whatever. I’m way more curious to see if Pandagon is on its way to DailyKos level. You know, comments not quite as intelligent as YouTube posts.

Everyone has their hobbies, I guess. Although if you’re truly curious about coarsened discourse and want to see real morons and ignoramuses at work, check out places like Redstate or LGF. I’d be glad to hear your suggestions for blogs that have fostered higher standards for their comments, but from what I’ve seen Pandagon has a higher-than-average proportion of very thoughtful commenters who are also fine writers.

Either way, you might personally be more comfortable with television news, where Standards and Practises prevents naughty language, where discussion is designed to appeal to those with an 8th grade education, and where the anchors and pundits are happy to accept Joe the PR-Hungry Fraud at face value.

According to today’s paper, the “Republican’s campaign is paying for a press secretary and advance person for the new celebrity.”

Yes. They are paying him to tour for McCain. Fer real.

And better yet, he’s writing a book on American values.

No, really.

Oh, no, Caren.  I’m referring to the grammatical nightmare that was FloppingAces due to certain suspicions that may or may not be substantiated.  We’ll see.

Doesn’t Joe have any, you know, REAL plumbing work to do lately?

Probably not, since Lucas County got all het up about that needing to have a license thingy.

Although maybe now being on the lecture circuit, he WILL make enough to get pinched by the Obama tax plan! At least until his 15 minutes run out.

Joe the plumber: Yet another lie in a campaign based on lies from a party addicted to lies.

If it weren’t for the lies, McCain would still be sucking Cream of Wheat through a straw bitching to his wife Skelator that he hasn’t changed, it’s the world around him that’s changed…

Joe the plumber is a straw man, a McCain/Keating plant and of course the man is an enigma. How can a working man actually think that voting republican isn’t putting their neck in a noose while precariously perched on a chair atop a stack of boxes. The republican party can’t have ‘normal patriotic Americans’ realizing that voting for them is like a chicken voting for Colonel Harland Sanders. It ruins the whole ‘maverick’ charade. Picking a cute running mate who isn’t humbled enough by her shot at ruling this country to restrain from inciting riots where ever she roams is the supreme act of a party that shouldn’t be able to get a republican voted in as dog catcher in Otumwa Iowa!

It’s got to be hard for the average ‘patriotic American’ addicted to the crap on tv to make sense of the whole three ring circus fourth rate reality show that the RNC has scripted. Me, I don’t like ‘reality tv’, I prefer to live in reality and wonder how much longer I can afford to pay my bills. Joe the plumber is set for life on the blight wing speaking circuit while others that he stands on the throat of are soon to be left destitute and penniless… So much for ‘value voters’. Jumbo shrimp anyone?

A bit of professional advice for Mr. Wurzelfucker: you’re supposed to drain the shit from the head before you open the mouth.