pandagon.net

Next entry: Connections! Previous entry: Obama responds to John ‘I don’t know how many homes I own’ McCain

John McCain Just Slept With Your Wife

• Republicans

But it’s okay, because he was a POW.

Inspired by John McCain’s example:

Q: Why did John McCain cross the road?

A: Because John McCain was a POW.

—-

Q: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

A: John McCain was a POW.

—-

A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar. John McCain is behind the bar, serving drinks. The rabbi says, “Can I have a Smart Grasshopper?” The imam asks, “What in Allah’s name is a Smart Grasshopper?” The priest is set to answer, when John McCain informs them all that he was a POW and that his penis is currently immersed in a glass of Kahlua. It’s a better White Russian than the Vietcong served.

------

Registration is now required! We're still in the process of getting it all squared away, so for the moment don't forget to Login or Register using the links in the upper left menu before starting to write your comment.

Posted by Jesse Taylor on 03:51 PM • (22) Comments

A noun and a verb and POW.

I think that’s going to wear out its welcome the same way Rudy Giuliani was able to single-handedly transform 9/11 from a national tragedy into a Family Guy punch line.

Comment #1: Ben D. on 08/21 at 04:03 PM

What Ben D. said. We’re getting there quick and it’s only August.

Comment #2: Incertus, Nacho Daddy on 08/21 at 04:09 PM

How Many john McCains does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Comment #3: Ross Lincoln on 08/21 at 04:14 PM

The VietCong changed the light bulbs when he was a POW.

Comment #4: Jesse Taylor on 08/21 at 04:18 PM

A family goes to a talent agent to show him their act.

Blah, blah, blah, a bunch of pointless dirty stuff, blah, blah blah.

The talent agent asks what the name of their act is.

John McCain answers “I was a POW in Vietnam.” The talent agent calmly replies that this would be a great name for a band, but not so hot for an explicit family variety act.

Later, a McCain spokesperson clarifies McCain’s statement.
“What he meant to say was The Aristocrats...”

McCain then tells the press about being in the Hanoi Hilton and drawing a cross in the sand with a Vietnamese guard’s severed penis as inspiration for another prisoner. He then serves tasty BBQ ribs…

Comment #5: MikeEss on 08/21 at 04:21 PM

He’s fully qualified to change light bulbs because he was a POW.

Comment #6: Samantha Vimes on 08/21 at 04:22 PM

Your momma is so fat…

John McCain was a POW.

Comment #7: Mark on 08/21 at 05:23 PM

From the home office in Sedona, Arizona, the top ten reasons why John McCain deserves to be President

10. John McCain was a POW
9. John McCain was a POW
8. John McCain was a POW
7. John McCain was a POW
6. John McCain was a POW
5. John McCain was a POW
4. John McCain was a POW
3. John McCain was a POW
2. John McCain NEVER exploits, or even talks about, the fact that he was a POW
1. John McCain was a POW

Comment #8: Dweeze on 08/21 at 05:30 PM

What do you call it when a bus full of lawyers that has one empty seat goes over a cliff, bursts into flame, and explodes killing all on board and leaving a smoking pile of wreckage.

John McCain was a POW…

Comment #9: MikeEss on 08/21 at 05:30 PM

Ooooh, I forgot this one my buddy told me…

Two blondes walk into a building, John MCCain was a POW.

Comment #10: Mark on 08/21 at 05:33 PM

2. John McCain NEVER exploits, or even talks about, the fact that he was a POW

Well, of course not. He hires people to do it for him, like any average 7-house-owning man of the people would.

Comment #11: Llelldorin on 08/21 at 05:44 PM

An educated, intelligent, personable black guy who wants to change things for the better runs for president against an ornery old white guy who’s channeling Dick Cheney and wants to keep things exactly as they have been for the last 8-years. Who wins?

John McCain was a POW…

Comment #12: MikeEss on 08/21 at 05:46 PM

We’re going to look back on this in February and laugh at McCranky’s high water mark.

Comment #13: Ben D. on 08/21 at 05:48 PM

“We’re going to look back on this in February and laugh at McCranky’s high water mark.”

...or cry…

Comment #14: MikeEss on 08/21 at 05:53 PM

What’s the actual punchline to the Grasshopper joke, Jesse?

Comment #15: LittlePig on 08/21 at 07:54 PM

Why’d the man put his car in the oven?

Because John McCain was a POW.

Comment #16: idiosynchronic on 08/21 at 08:41 PM

Q: How many POWs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: I’ll have to have my staff get back to you on that.

Comment #17: Tom Hamill on 08/21 at 11:57 PM

Q: How do you Punish Hellen Keller?
A: No punishment is like being a POW.

Q: What is the first thing that went through Krista McAuliffe’s head when the Challenger exploded?
A: This isn’t as bad as being a POW.

Comment #18: Tom on 08/22 at 12:19 AM

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?

A: Time for the GOOPer with the slivers in his ass to issue another “John McCain was a POW” press release.

Comment #19: Tom again on 08/22 at 12:43 AM

Q: What is the first thing that went through Krista McAuliffe’s head when the Challenger exploded?

Too soon.

Comment #20: Boronx on 08/22 at 03:54 AM

John McCain just fucked your grandmother. But it’s okay, because he was a POW.
...and also, he’s age-appropriate for your grandmother.

Comment #21: Indy on 08/22 at 02:20 PM

“I think that’s going to wear out its welcome the same way Rudy Giuliani was able to single-handedly transform 9/11 from a national tragedy into a Family Guy punch line. “

I think they did that with “The John McCain Experience” in one episode, wherein Peter gets jabbed with a sharpened bamboo stick while crying and saying “I wanna be president!”

Comment #22: John on 08/24 at 01:43 PM

Page 1 of 1 pages

Commenting is not available in this channel entry.