Crossing the Sex Line = Red Rover, only more fun.

You didn’t bold the worst element: “Sanford said Chapur is his soul mate but he’s trying to fall back in love with his wife”. That’s just cruel, not laughable.

Eating, as the great Republican Arnold Schwarzenegger once noted, is not cheating.

Dance for my amusement, Mark Sanford! I say, dance, puppet!

And “...Sanford’s love of digging holes…” is starting to make sense now on so many weird levels. Yep, you just can’t make this kind of stuff up. Freud would have a field day with this babe magnet.

Like Kristen from MA and Comrade Mary, I was just struck dumb with empathy for and anger on behalf of his wife.  And it is just cruel.  If some man told me his mistress was his soul mate, but he was trying really hard to fall back in love with me? Don’t do me any favors.

The man is a Tool.

Is anyone else getting the impression that he’s pulling the “I didn’t inhale” routine not to protect his wife, but to reassure his mistress that he was not cheating on her?

God, his poor wife. I hope that everybody rhapsodizing about his Middle-Aged True Love can get over themselves now.

Remember, kids, for wingnuts “crossing the sex line” = penile penetration (unless you’re not a Republican, in which case “crossing the sex line” = lusting in your heart).

Oh Mark.  Face it - you’re a womanizer.  Hell, apparently Bill Clinton was more loyal than you.

Oh BTW, shades of Rick Warren - “let my guard down,” I cannot be around women without a guardian, etc.

“Didn’t cross the ‘sex’ line”

Is this a euphamism for anal?

It’s probably a euphemism for blowjobs.

Is this a euphamism for anal?

Only if the man is on top.

During an emotional interview at his Statehouse office with The Associated Press on Tuesday, Sanford said Chapur is his soul mate but he’s trying to fall back in love with his wife.

I hear Satan has served Chapur with a “cease and desist” letter based on a prior claim over all Republican politicians.

He says that during the other encounters he “let his guard down” with some physical contact but ”didn’t cross the sex line.”

I guess they were making out in the backseat of his car after telling their parents that they were just going to the library.  He probably stayed out past curfew too, the scamp.

All I know is that for some reason, heterosexuals aren’t allowed to have friends of the opposite gender.

All I know is that for some reason, heterosexuals aren’t allowed to have friends of the opposite gender.

Well, obviously.  All the sex and infidelity and sitcom hijinks get in the way.

And they think Senator Al Franken is the comedian.  Shows what they know!

Even though I feel for the wife, I’m loving this story. May it continue until ‘Sanford’ is the kind of shorthand for reprobate behavior that ‘Lewinsky’ became for oral sex.

Translation:

I’ve been trying to get past 3rd base for years and only made it once.

I’m thinking blowjobs don’t count.  Seems like the typical rationalization whether one is liberal OR conservative.

I’ve gone on this rant before, but can I say once again how much I hate hate HATE this “soul mate” bullshit.  I don’t think there’s a romantic myth more destructive than the notion that there is one (1) singular person out there who is your “soul mate.”  How many people have bounced from relationship to relationship convinced that this one is their real “soul mate” and all of the others were just pale imitations?

In a way, it’s the flip side of the “relationships are hard work” coin.  One side says that there’s no such thing as love, so the only thing that matters is how much work you put into the relationship.  The other side says that there shouldn’t be any work and that there’s one magical person out there who will fulfill every need you have, and anyone who doesn’t read your mind is clearly Not For You.

Translation:

I’ve been trying to get past 3rd base for years and only made it once.

Let’s be fair, though: it would seem that his fellow religious nutcase David Klinghoffer hasn’t even made it past first.

I’m thinking blowjobs don’t count.  Seems like the typical rationalization whether one is liberal OR conservative.

The difference being that an arse-covering liberal will apply that rationalisation to anyone, regardless of political or religious affiliation. The arse-covering conservative only extends the privilege of that rationalisation to good Xtian conservatives like himself.

I’ll bet he “did not have sexual relations” with any of those women.

I like the refence to “the Argentine” it sounds like something you’d hear in a 40’s noir film “it was the Agrentine no doubt about that, her fingerprints were all over this”- is it too much to hope that one of his other daliances comes to be know as ‘the Walloon?”

Probbably but one can dream.

I think “I did not cross the sex line” is Sanford’s equivalent of “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” - or in Sanford’s case, “those women.”

Does Lindsey have a blue dress somewhere?

You know, I’ve been trying my best not to give a shit about this fucking clown, but this last bit has shoved me right off the damn cliff.  This horn-dog son of a bitch isn’t “confessing,” he’s bragging.

Hey Sanford!  If I wanted to wallow in this kind of crap I’d go to a used book store and buy a bag of Harlequin Desire™ novels.  I’ve had enough.  I’ve had more than enough.  Not another word out of you, you asshole.  Relocate your God damned red hot unruly passions somewhere else, somewhere out of my sight.  You just shut the fuck up about your love life.  Do it now!

And they think Senator Al Franken is the comedian.  Shows what they know!

Off-topic, the MN court ruled in Al’s favour, and Norm Coleman finally conceded. Let the Al Franken Decade begin!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Sanford mockery.

What exactly is third base, anyway?

What exactly is third base, anyway?

I Don’t Know. What’s on second.

[sorry, Bud, you set that one up]

To make up for that last, Richard, here’s the <a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baseball_metaphors_for_sex>Wikipedia definition</a>:

<blockquote>Third base usually refers to mutual masturbation, fondling or groping of male or female genitals[5] or oral sex[6] (although historically used to mean fingering or giving a handjob[5][7])</blockquote>

I learned it in the early ‘80s as: First Base—French Kissing; Second Base—feeling up/fingering/handjob; Third Base—Oral; Home Run—“

Whoa, what happened there? I can’t have made that many typos in a row.

Sanford’s a fundie, so the fact that he’s not in love with his wife is no biggie.  Heck, if the fundies get their way, in the long term he won’t even need to know her name.

Whoa, what happened there? I can’t have made that many typos in a row

Yeah, but I’ll bet it was good shit, man.

Man, marriage must not be that sanctified if it’s so unhappy that you’re piling up attempts to get out of it.

Yeah, but I’ll bet it was good shit, man.

Hey, I didn’t inhale (can’t say the same for Sanford’s women, given his own Clintonian vagueness).

Seriously, when does this guy shut the fuck up and start that “redemption” he keeps talking about?

Granted, I still haven’t seen the “fall from grace” he says is a necessary precondition, since he has explicitly stated that he is determined to suffer absolutely no consequences from his philandering (except maybe to get sued for divorce by a woman he clearly has no desire to stay married to).

“Crossed the sex line”? If you wouldn’t want your SO to know about it, it’s cheating. I thought everyone over age 15 knew that.

And gits like him and Ensign work so hard to demonize my relationship with my C-Unionee/partner/wife - +16-1/2 years, monogamous, tax-paying citizens.

He says that during the other encounters he “let his guard down” with some physical contact but ”didn’t cross the sex line.” He wouldn’t go into detail.

He already went into detail.

Sanford’s now singing about it:

http://www.capsteps.com/sounds/sanford-argentina.mp3

He says that during the other encounters he “let his guard down” with some physical contact

In this context, “guard” means “pants”, right?

Pfah.  There goes the “twue wuv” narrative.

“In this context, “guard” means “pants”, right?”

Fucking HI-larious! 

Sanford campaign ad put a smile on my face…

http://www.politico.com/singletitlevideo.html?bcpid=1155201977&bctid=28097636001

from politico

I learned it in the early ‘80s as: First Base—French Kissing; Second Base—feeling up/fingering/handjob; Third Base—Oral; Home Run—“goin’ all the way.” Who knows what it is with kids today?

Well, in MY early 80s, first base was kissing, second base was boobies, third base was genitals, and home run was sex.

The “alternate” definitions were first base—still kissing, second base—anywhere on top of the clothes, third base was anywhere UNDER the clothes, and home run was sex.

These type of nonsense distinctions are EXACTLY the kind of shit that Sanford is currently wound up about.  Dude left the country without leaving anyone in charge, and this after refusing Federal funds.  That’s the important fact.  He deserves impeachment for complete idiocy.

His warped Christianist views about sex and marriage really have no business being in public discourse, except, of course, HE MADE HIS MORALS THE CENTER OF HIS PUBLIC PERSONA.

It’s a shame GOPers won’t ditch the Moral Majority and deal with policy.

Maybe he means the equator. (Cue Sopranos jokes)

Anytime you confess only after you’ve been caught, your credibility is pretty much zero. But I think Sanford may shed some light on a certain kind of desperate, self-hating religious faith: if you truly think that the purpose of god is to keep you from cheating on oaths that you’ve made, then your faith is going to get ever more, uh, rigid and extreme, because god clearly isn’t answering your prayers.

And that kind of weird faith (which doesn’t preclude an ego the size of the shadow dimensions) would be a much better explanation of why he was so willing to kill thousands of his fellow citizens in the service of his political posturing.

Where’s the sex line?

As always, xkcd settles the issue.

Sex, lines, and videotape - wasn’t that an 80s/90s movie?

stryx:

No, xkcd got it totally and awesomely wrong.  Eye contact from Janeane Garafolo is not in shallow right (!) field, it’s about two and three quarter inches from home plate.

“Sanford’s love of digging holes”

Yes, I think we can safely say that his love of digging holes for himself has been well established over the last two weeks.

The idea of a sex line is just silly.  I prefer to “hook-up” with guys without a relationship because I just don’t want a relationship right now.  I once hooked up with a guy who was a virgin and wanted to remain that way, so we did everything but actual sex and it was fun for both of us.  However, I still consider him to be as much of a hook-up as any of the other guys that I’ve “gone all the way” with.  The distinction is just silly, in my opinion.

Sanford said Chapur is his soul mate but he’s trying to fall back in love with his wife.

OK - Is this a White Male thing?

I mean, why try to salvage your marriage if your soulmate is in Argentina?

I mean, why try to salvage your marriage if your soulmate is in Argentina?

Because he’s too old to learn how to campaign in Castellian Spanish.

Seriously, he’s trying to salvage his political career and be honest at the same time.  The soulmate thing is a result of letting his mouth work before his frontal lobes(if they’re functional, a big if) kick in.

Uhura, are you implying that Black Males wouldn’t say something that dumb?  I’m pretty sure you’re correct, but I have to add that Eurasian Males wouldn’t, either.

Here’s what a white male around my age said about it last night:

Finally, this piece of reconciliation advice from the governor, should he still want to get back together with the missus as he claimed again together to his interview, best perhaps not to describe the affair at length as, quote, “a love story.”  Best not to mention either publicly or privately that his Argentine mistress was his soul mate—wives tend not to like that.

LOL!

I LOVE your response! (And not in a soulmate type of way

Uhura, are you implying that Black Males wouldn’t say something that dumb?  I’m pretty sure you’re correct, but I have to add that Eurasian Males wouldn’t, either.

I wouldn’t know.

I don’t date Black males OR EurAsian males either.

Joking!