American’s Sanest Congresswoman:
“This cannot pass,” the Minnesota Republican told a crowd at a Denver gathering sponsored by the Independence Institute. “What we have to do today is make a covenant, to slit our wrists, be blood brothers on this thing. This will not pass. We will do whatever it takes to make sure this doesn’t pass.”
What I find truly helps the democratic process is people swearing blood oaths to each other. Also, I’m pretty sure more people are slated to die opposing this bill than it would actually kill, even if you accept the fact that the entire Emmanuel family will be going door to door genetically screening your children and taking the superior ones to a plant for processing.
“Right now, we are looking at reaching down the throat and ripping the guts out of freedom,” she said. “And we may never be able to restore it if we don’t man up and take this one on.”
“What we want to do instead,” she said, stroking the snow-white cat on her lap, “is to gently seduce freedom into our chambers, and then strap it down and oil up its sweet, lithe body.” She then excused herself for an uncomfortably long 17 minute period, after which she returned, flushed, sweaty and a little bit giggly. Then she ate a raw chicken breast and screamed, “VICTOOOOORY!”
It is not known if Bachmann will be returning to the House before the winter solstice.
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Look, if a lunatic acts like a lunatic one can’t blame the lunatic; one blames the doctors who released the lunatic. In that spirit I blame the 46.41% of voters in her district that voted for her. That makes them either stupid or crazy.
Tangent:
Her district has 614,935 people in it. That makes it bigger in population than Wyoming or Vermont, and in the same league as North Dakota and Alaska. Weird as she is it is even more weird that so many people can directly elect only one congresscritter, but any of those four states can directly elect two senators each. Batshit crazy system.