Mitch says that like it’s a bad thing…

Well, in Europe it’s illegal to tie your 14-year-old wife to the stove, or so he heard.

While the Republicans want to cause the “Zimbabwe-ization of America.”

ZOMG!! Not Europe! ANYTHING but that!!

Jeez.

What’s so bad about Europeanizing America?  It worked so well for most of us the first time.

Holy Crap!  Violent crime will practically disappear!  The standard of living will increase for everyone.  All children will get a good education including college practically for free.  Mothers and fathers will be able to take childbirth leave for years. AND WE’LL ALL HAVE FREE HEALTHCARE!

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST SHOOT ME NOW ! ! !

Ease of getting around without a car?
Universal health care?
Government subsidized child care?

I thought that is what Americans voted for in November.  Hmmm, I think someone is out of touch with the heart of America.

I’d think a certain segment of the far-right would be delighted at the Europeanization of America. They’d finally get to act out their Red Dawn fantasies in real life.

But hey, if our new Eurocommie overlords give us universal health care and medical marijuana, paint a Q on my forehead and call me a collaborator.

—On average, we’ll each lose twenty pounds
—The quality of the food that we eat, and cook, will increase exponentially
—Wine will become part of lunch again

The only downside I can see is a demand for smoking lounges.  But as the smokers in Illinois keep huddling around entranceways and hogging every single courtyard, I’ll settle for that.

Hey, european countries even have state subsidies for churches.

First phase of the Europeanization of America:  strategic soccer ball air-drops.

Hey, at least they’re not complaining about the Africanization of America.  (And you know it’s a struggle to hold their fool tongues.)

So ... seems to be working for Europe.

As for the soccer balls, there is already a fifth column that has been eroding support for little league baseball for years.

Second phase of the Europeanization of America: strategic artisanal cheese air-drops.

Taxing the rich will make your children gay.

Hey, european countries even have state subsidies for churches.

Good point.  My wife will be a civil servant and get paid decently.  I wonder why Mitch is opposed to that?

Is there some kind of debate thingy where a person gains instant credibility for his argument if only he slaps the suffix “-ization” onto a noun?

(This is related to another question I have about right-wingers’ insistence upon having all their book titles read like magazine article subheads.)

I thought they wanted Europeanization. At least, racially.

<looks out window at clean Danish air and greenery in my state-subsidized housing and free college>

My gods, I hope he’s wrong. Nothing could possibly be worse than that. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve had a bit of a flu lately and need to go to my free doctor that I personally chose.

Third phase of Europeanization of America: strategic orchestra and theater air-drops.

Ha!  I was recently driving through my campus with a Hungarian guy and he pointed at a building and asked “What a nice building.  Is that the theatre?”  No dude, that’s the basketball stadium, the theatre is a hole in the wall on the ass end of campus.  He’s also having trouble with the concept of suburb-style towns an hour or more away from the nearest major city.

...but ...but ... the French! Surrender monkeys! Freedom fries! Berets are the new sombreros! And the Spanish… they’re just Mexicans with a lisp, only they fool you by looking white! Sweet Baby Jesus on a cross, they have MUSLIMS over there! Oh, for the love of Palin… SOCIALIZED HEALTHCARE!

*falls off chair and begins foaming at the mouth*

Oh noes!!!!11!!! Europe has much better cell phone reception everywhere!! We simply can’t have that happening here in the USofA!! Won’t somebody please think of the children??!!?? Tis far better to stick with our crappy hodge-podge cell phone networks and their ever-so-delightfully spotty coverage and exorbitant rates AND cell phone towers disguised as church steeples!!!!

adult film star Stormy Daniels may be considering a Senate run against Sen. David Vitter

Good. Republicans have traditionally supported supply-side whoronomics.

Phase Four: Bicycles and Bike lanes FOR EVERYONE!

I for one welcome my new European overlords ... oh, wait, I’ve already got my European overlords ... excuse me ... conference call time with the UK ...

Phase Five: Unisex Shoulderbags will be required for men and women.

I’m with Kyso K and Kaje.
This whole thing is confusing me.
First they paniced over the Africanization of America, then the Mexicanization of America, now the Europeanization of America?

Oh, and in the 80’s the Japanization of America.

What does that leave?

The Australia-inization?  Crap, too late my company has already been bought my Macquarie.
www.macquarie.com.au

At least I get to call my CEO “Mate.”

“Phase Five: Unisex Shoulderbags will be required for men and women.”

...I can already feel my balls shriveling up…

OTOH, at least the beer will be better…a lot better…

All children will get a good education including college practically for free.

Not quite.  It varies by country, but, for many European kids, if you fall behind at all as a teen, you’re not going to university, period.

Oh man, can we put some French people in charge of food? ((mouth waters)) And healthcare, they have a pretty good setup. Let’s adopt the traditional Spanish workday + siesta and late-night meals, and put speedy electric trains connecting every American town.

Now is the time on Sprockets that we stimulate!

Let’s adopt the traditional Spanish workday + siesta and late-night meals

Nah, you won’t like it. We have the longest workdays in Europe, meaning you spend 12 hours or more out and have no time to do your chores or develop some kind of hobby. I’d rather have less time in the lunchbreak and leave work at 5, so that I wouldn’t have to sacrifice my lunch and pay a fortune to attend my music classes.

Of course this is still much better than your daily overtime and second and third jobs…

now [they’re panicking over] the Europeanization of America?

Excellent point. As a proud European-American, I believe this change can only help the standing of my people in the community. Perhaps some day, the Republicans will run a European-American for President.

This whole thing is confusing me. First they paniced over the Africanization of America, then the Mexicanization of America, now the Europeanization of America?

Buy into teepee futures…

Phase six - Teh Metric System!!!!!!

Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the lovers are Italians, the engineers are Germans, and it is all run by the Swiss.

Hell is where the cooks are British, the engineers are French, the lovers are Swiss, the police are German it it is all run by the Italians.

I think we know where purgatory is.

Not quite.  It varies by country, but, for many European kids, if you fall behind at all as a teen, you’re not going to university, period.

Also, unless things have changed recently, university is still seen in many European nations as the exclusive preserve of the academically elite students who didn’t falter since their equivalent of intermediate school.  A reason why a comparison of European students attending academic high schools with average American high school students is more apples and oranges than cut and dry as the MSM would portray it. 

I’ve encountered many European international undergrads at my college and elsewhere who came to the US because they f&^ked up in intermediate school and thus, were placed on the vocational track which meant they were consigned to be practically locked out of university education unless they came to the states to start over as non-traditional students after working several years or having the socio-economic privilege/scholarship to come to the states to attend US high school and then college. 

A similar system existed in Japan during my undergrad years according to a working-class Japanese classmate who was locked out of pursuing higher ed because he got into a fight as an 11 year old.  Despite excellent grades and having no further incidents at his intermediate school, that disciplinary mark on his permanent record meant he was shut out of even the vocational high schools…not to mention the academic high schools one needs to attend to have a chance at taking…much less passing the national college entrance exams.  He ended up working a few years in various odd jobs until a Japanese benefactor took interest in his case and sent him to the US to attend high school and then college….giving him a second chance he wouldn’t have had under the Japanese system.

Heaven is where the police are British,

Ms. Kate,

How did you arrive at this? I’m not sure the Brazilian man who was shot by the triggerhappy British cops who mistook him for a supposed terrorist would agree….

Is it necessarily better that the universities are full of rich fuck-ups who finish on cash from mom and dad, while kids who are talented can’t afford college or can’t afford to complete it?  Or that the typical graduate has huge loan debts?

Exholt, how very very young you are.  Google is your friend - this entire “meme” has been around much longer than you have, I’d bet.

Europe doesn’t sound so bad to me. Hell, I’m starting a Ph.D program this fall; when it’s done, I am SO GETTING a post-doc in France. (Or California, or Iceland, or something, but France is like the coolest place! I don’t get the hate).

OTOH, at least the beer will be better…a lot better…
MikeEss on 02/11 at 11:25 AM

And the bread. The only place in the USA where I’ve found bread that comes close to comparing to German or French or Italian bread is in the Bat Area of California.

But these guys wanted to throw California out of the Union, didn’t they…

Oh man, can we put some French people in charge of food? ((mouth waters))...
emjaybee on 02/11 at 11:44 AM

Get some from Strasbourg. French quality—German quantity!

Oh, and Italy too, pls! (But a portion of my immigrant ancestors helped with that back in the 1920s…)

Hell is where the cooks are British, the engineers are French, the lovers are Swiss, the police are German it it is all run by the Italians…
Ms Kate on 02/11 at 01:41 PM

I think you just described the Roman Catholic hierarchy in Europe.

Oh, how I hate this bullshit of using national identity to make some misleading point that appeals to the tribesman in people. I hate it because I’m convinced it works, and it is incredibly harmful.

I really think of myself as Portuguese, but anyway… I just want to say that, as a member of the “European” clan, I would like the freedom of speech laws in all of Europe to be Americanized (they are the most clear and extensive), and, although our health care system is not bad, it could use some Japanization, or perhaps Taiwanization.

I still don’t get baseball. It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just that I don’t understand it. From movies, I was able to cleverly deduce that a home run is a good thing.

Is it necessarily better that the universities are full of rich fuck-ups who finish on cash from mom and dad, while kids who are talented can’t afford college or can’t afford to complete it?  Or that the typical graduate has huge loan debts?

I never said the US educational system is better all around as the European/Japanese system does have much to recommend it. 

Just pointing out that one area that we many not want to emulate is the 1 strike and you’re effectively barred from higher education access, especially if it occurs before someone is 13 years of age.  Keep in mind that in the systems my classmates came from the evaluation of whether someone is placed on the academic/college-bound or non-academic/vocational track usually takes place around the ages of 11-13.  This system basically implies that if you screw up either academic or disciplinary reasons between the ages of 5-13, you should be effectively barred from higher-ed access…...

Something I disagree with not only as “higher stakes” testing at such young ages overlooks the late bloomers along with the fact most kids who are shunted off to the non-academic track tend to overwhelmingly working-class and POC kids…even in Europe. 

although our health care system is not bad, it could use some Japanization, or perhaps Taiwanization.

Considering there has been an alarming series of recent stories in the Japanese press about sick and injured people dying because they’ve been turned away from as many as 30+ hospitals because of overcrowding and a serious shortage of doctors and nurses….I’m not sure you’d want Japanization” of your continent’s/nation’s healthcare system. 

Also, while Taiwan’s healthcare has not gotten to that point according to relatives and friends who live there, it ain’t something to write home about according to them…especially those who were from Europe/Canada.

PLZ, I CAN HAZ UROPEANIZASHUN?  On the other hand, I really don’t think the beer could be better. But then, I live in Oregon.

ZOMG! A decline in infant mortality rates, a more diverse political system… how could we take those risks?

Would it be entirely inappropriate to say, at this point in the thread, “No, no! It’s far too perilous!”