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Next entry: The dangers of ignoring the dark fantasies of the Christian right Previous entry: Yeah, But Stabbing Me In The Face Was Okay Because It Was Cute

Mostly an excuse to share the Neiwert link

Reading David Neiwert’s further take down of Jonah Goldberg’s drivel, and comically horrified to discover that Goldberg has the absolute gall to consider Neiwert an “ankle-biter” I figured I’d share with him what real “ankle-biting” looks like. Jonah, a reasoned and thorough destruction of your entire thesis is less “ankle-biting” and more “head-lopping-off.” Ankle-biting is more like going into a bookstore and redistributing copies of your pamphlet into much more appropriate - or at least fitting - sections of the establishment.
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The first table! Pride of place! For this drivel? You have got to be kidding me. Let’s fix this problem, shall we?
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Insert your own “subtitle” joke here.
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Yes, those are the Auguste fingers.
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One of these books is a modern classic.
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Hey, Auguste. Weren’t there only three books in that stack on the main table? Where are these other copies coming from?

Shut up, that’s where.
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It’s just too bad this wasn’t Powell’s, where they have a whole “Revisionist History” section.
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So also, this book exists. How the hell is John Podhoretz still getting work?
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MUCH more appropriate.

By the way, I was serious about the modern classic:

A cow says moo.
A sheep says baa.
Three singing pigs say “La la la!”

“No, no!” you say. “That isn’t right.
“The pigs say OINK all day and night.”

Really, if you think about it, how different is the above quote from the whole Liberal Fascism thing? Jonah’s asking you to believe that the pig says “La.”

Update: Glenn Greenwald blogs about an exchange with Jonah that’s just so exemplary:

...Suffice it to say, my #1 bestselling book has been translated into several languages and positively reviewed and/or taken quite seriously by quite a few people outside my “echo chamber.” It was published by the tiffany imprint of one of the most respected publishing houses. I’m one of the most widely syndicated columnists in America (some non-echo-chamber editors must take me seriously). And non-echo-chamber outlets like NPR and countless universities invite me to speak regularly. Oh, about that idiotic Salon story, the guy knows jack shit about how I spent my twenties. I’d compare my resume to pretty much any prominent leftwing blogger. I know this all inconvenient to process and please don’t take it as an invitation to debate, I’m done with you.

By the way, this email is not for publication.

Beautiful.

 

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Posted by Auguste on 03:05 AM • (19) Comments

omg win

I’ve been known to move a Bible to “Fiction” but this is much better.

Comment #1: MH  on  06/14  at  04:14 AM

Hmph.  You would put “Liberal Fascism” on the comic book shelf, next to, say, “Maus”, Art Spiegelman’s Pulitzer-winning account of his parents’ suffering at the hands of real fascists?

Goldberg does not deserve such an honor.

Comment #2: Dr. Psycho  on  06/14  at  04:32 AM

No rearranging the books, Auguste!  ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

*twitch* *twitch*

Comment #3: Phoenician in a time of Romans  on  06/14  at  04:38 AM

A Modern classic? Hmph.  Moo Baa La La La is, at best, Boynton’s OrlandoDinosaur’s Binkit is her To the Lighthouse.

Comment #4: Josh  on  06/14  at  04:43 AM

You have cobagitated well, my friend.

Comment #5: Pinko Punko  on  06/14  at  05:13 AM

What, there’s no trash can where they serve the coffee?

Why insult *any* of the other books by moving “Liberal Fascism” next to them.

Although, not really about throwing out his book. It should go through the same remaindering and the return to publisher of the front covers of the unsold copies as all other unsalable books.

Comment #6: Samantha Vimes  on  06/14  at  06:08 AM

Josh, Auguste, you’re both wrong. Hippos Go Berserk is far and away Boynton’s best work.

Comment #7: Jeff  on  06/14  at  07:56 AM

Jeff:  Nuh-uh.  “Doggies: A Counting and Barking Book” all the way.

Comment #8: A.  on  06/14  at  08:45 AM

Was the ‘Abnormal Psychology’ section full?

Comment #9: Scott1960  on  06/14  at  09:49 AM

Oh look, Idiot America. I’m reading that book now.

Comment #10: Triplanetary  on  06/14  at  10:19 AM

Dr Psycho: You would put “Liberal Fascism” on the comic book shelf, next to, say, “Maus”, Art Spiegelman’s Pulitzer-winning account of his parents’ suffering at the hands of real fascists?

If the bookstore puts “Mouse” under “Kid’s Manga”, they can’t be helped.

I wonder more about the “Grateful Dead” connection? Fan stuff? Someone’s on drugs?

A “Revisionist History” section? Do I want to know what’s there?

Comment #11: inge  on  06/14  at  10:39 AM

Josh, Auguste, you’re both wrong. Hippos Go Berserk is far and away Boynton’s best work.

Jeff’s right.  I made my son a HGB shirt for preschool with hippos popping out everywhere and a Guest on his shoulder.

Of course, her opus maximus is “Philadelphia Chickens”.  Meryl Streep singing “Nobody Understands Me” is a classic in itself.

Comment #12: Caren-Sun-blocking Creator of Animorphic Pancakes  on  06/14  at  11:49 AM

A “Revisionist History” section? Do I want to know what’s there?

Hopefully the “New Deal only prolonged the Depression and made it worse” oeuvre of Amity Shlaes.

Comment #13: Hector B.  on  06/14  at  11:58 AM

I’m sorry, I’m going to have to vote with Auguste here. Moo Baa La La La is a masterpiece. Maybe it’s an Oregonian thing.

I object, however, to putting Goldberg’s book where children and young adults could be accidentally exposed. I just don’t trust my toddler to recognize drivel when he sees it. After all, Snuggle Puppy is his favorite.

Comment #14: Av0gadro  on  06/14  at  03:21 PM

Fun fact:  Publishers pay bookstores to place books on those tables.  It’s primarily a marketing scheme, but I bet Goldberg would use it as evidence of his genius and popularity.

Comment #15: keshmeshi  on  06/14  at  04:14 PM

Dinosaur ROAR!

Comment #16: Ms Kate  on  06/14  at  04:55 PM

...
Rhinoceroses snort and snuff
and little dogs go ruff ruff ruff!
Some other dogs say bow wow wow
and cats and kittens say meow
Quack says the duck
the horse says neigh
It’s quiet now - what do YOU say?

I love this book smile

Comment #17: Zil  on  06/14  at  07:54 PM

And now someone’s going to have to move that back to where it was.  A few more seconds gone from their life that could’ve gone to something worthwhile.

Comment #18: Blue Fielder  on  06/15  at  07:36 PM

How can any discussion of Boynton’s Greatest Works fail to mention But Not the Hippopotamus?? Honestly, people, do your homework.

Comment #19: allison  on  06/15  at  09:02 PM
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