Next entry: Umoja
Previous entry: The Plural Of Anecdote Is Conservatism
Mighty Ponygirl has declared it National Screw While On Contraception Day. Yes, even if you’re “trying”. Or you’re in a committed and tested relationship that’s not running the risk of the big knock-up because you’re gay or sterilized or pregnant or post-menopausal or whatever. You don’t even need a partner. Wrap a condom around a butt plug and shove it up your ass. Or blow condoms up and decorate your house with them while running around naked singing filthy, blasphemous songs about how Jesus and Mary Magdalene got it on.
Better yet, show up at one of the Planned Parenthoods that have been marked for abuse for distributing contraception today with a big, fat sign that says, “Thanks for all the hard work, Planned Parenthood.” Why? Because the American Life League is protesting Planned Parenthood today because contraception was legalized after a lawsuit filed by Planned Parenthood after one director, Estelle Griswold, got arrested for selling contraception to married couples in the state of Connecticut. Today is the 45th anniversary of that lawsuit, Griswold v Connecticut, and the protest is, surprise surprise, based on a lie and some misdirection. ALL is calling it “Pill Kills” day, pretending that they’re out to get just the pill and that it’s because the pill is “chemical abortion”. Both of these points are lies, which are forbidden by god in the 10 commandments, unlike contraception.
Lie #1: That the decision in Griswold was just about hormonal contraception.
To be scrupulously fair, the talking points at the Pill Kills website does make it clear that Connecticut law at the time also banned condoms, diaphrams, basically any form of contraception. But by concentrating most of their information about the pill and linking it to the SCOTUS decision, they’re implying that they’re only interested in banning the birth control pill because of Teh Baybeez. But the focus on a decision that legalized all contraception belies their motivations. This is about banning contraception, regardless of its mechanism. They just haven’t figured out a good way to lie about their motivations when it comes to condoms. It’s a stretch to say the pill kills babies, but since it works in ways that are semi-mysterious to most people, that lie is a little more plausible. Of course, I doubt there’s a single fucktard waving a sign today that’s for condom use. This isn’t and never was about Teh Baybeez, but about sex. The anti-pill strategy is based mostly on the prior successes that anti-choicers have had with the piecemeal approach to getting abortion banned. They figure they can do that with contraception---ban one method at a time, working backwards from the ones that give the most control to women, until they’ve got them all. Is it possible to do this? Beats me. I’d like to think not. But if it could, then piecemeal is the way to go, because it’s the way that makes those under attack not realize that we’re all in this together. A ban on the pill is easy to shrug off by those not on the pill. A ban on condoms might not be top priority for voters in tested, committed relationships. The only weapon we have is the “WTF” factor.
In a way, the anti-choice brigade screwed the pooch themselves on this one. By concentrating on the idea that life “begins” at fertilization, they’ve inadvertantly educated their followers on how babies are made. Now even the most ardent anti-choicer is going to be skeptical of the idea that condoms, which visibly work by keep semen out of a woman’s reproductive tract, kills babies. Again, it’s easier to sow doubt about the pill because they a) already have convinced themselves that scientists are conniving bastards out to destroy religion and therefore lie and b) you can’t see how it works. They read the tea leaves and determine that when scientists say the pill works by preventing ovulation, they’re lying. But how to convince people condoms are abortion? They’d have to believe that there’s like a little baby in the semen waiting to get formed. That level of misinformation will be hard to come by.
Lie #2: The pill is abortion.
On the official literature, anti-choicers claim that their concern is that the pill may cause fertilized eggs not to implant correctly. You talk to one of them, and it becomes quite clear they’ve convinced themselves that the main way the pill functions is by releasing a bunch of mini mercenaries who hunt down fertilized eggs and shoot them. And, to add insult to injury, they then slap the sperm around while yelling, “You’re no real man! You couldn’t get a bitch pregnant if you ate a truckload of Viagra!”
The real reasons that contraception and abortion have concerned the nuts for so long is that they a) allow women to have sex and b) are emasculating because they put a stopgap in between sperm and the biological conquest of a woman’s body.* That most straight men enjoy not running the risk of impregnating someone every time they have sex doesn’t matter in this equation; such men are pansies that have been pussy-whipped and brainwashed by the feminazis. There’s a reason anti-choice literature dwells on the idea that blurring of gender roles is like the number one social problem. Look, for instance, at how one crisis pregnancy center encourages men to stampede abortion clinics and kidnap their wives or girlfriends from the place, telling them that women secretly want to be “rescued”, and you’ll see what I mean.
Obviously, the real reason they’re opposed to all this will never fly, so they concocted the brilliant “save the babies” strategy. It’s worked so well that they’re hoping they can stretch the lie a little further to encompass birth control pills. But birth control pills work by a non-mysterious, well-publicized mechanism. They work by preventing ovulation. The folk understanding is that they trick your body into thinking it’s pregnant (which is why people erroneously think that the pill causes weight gain, which has been disproven in scientific studies), but that’s not entirely that far from the truth. Basically, the pill works by rearranging your hormones so that the proper level required to ovulate isn’t hit. That’s all. I know that it was developed around imitating the hormone levels of a woman right after she ovulates, but obviously with the gazillion formulations out there, there’s probably all sorts of hormone levels at various times. Just the one you won’t hit is the one where you’re ovulating.
As they do when trying to disprove evolution, wingnuts exploit people’s poor understanding of evidence and logic to make it seem scientists are saying something they’re not. In the case of the pill, they exploit the fact that scientists realize you can’t prove a negative. You say, “Is it possible that the pill makes it so that a fertilized egg doesn’t implant slightly more often than it would if there weren’t those hormones there?” And scientists say, “We can’t test it, so possibly.” But you also can’t test whether or not it causes a swarm of invisible monkeys to fly around your uterus throttling innocent sperm, either.
What we do know: Women on the pill will certainly slough off exponentially fewer fertilized eggs than women using nothing. Because if you’re ovulating and having unprotected sex, then you’re fertilizing eggs that die. But if you’re not ovulating, you’re not. Easy-peasy. Even if one egg slips through once every 60 months or something, gets fertilized and sloughs of, that’s still many fewer fertilized eggs than a woman not on the pill is “killing”. If you want women not to kill fertilized eggs, you’d actually want the pill to be mandatory.
But if you want them to get pregnant a lot against their will, you’d join this protest.
*I don’t think of pregnancy this way, but it’s clearly the dominant paradigm of the uber patriarchy, with its theme song “She’s Having My Baby”.
------
Registration is now required! We're still in the process of getting it all squared away, so for the moment don't forget to Login or Register using the links in the upper left menu before starting to write your comment.
Wrap a condom around a butt plug and shove it up your ass.
I remember a time several years ago, when I was spending the night at a lesbian couple’s house (we were friends and doing organizing work together-that weekend was a lobby day). Before bed, they were asking me, “Do you need anything before bed?”
“No, I’m fine. Thank you.”
“Water.”
“No, thanks.”
“A condom?”
?
Hadn’t thought of it, but condoms are great for cleaning your dildo, especially if you’re going to share.
The authors of that old “Queers Read This” pamphlet had it right. “Every time we fuck, we win.” Especially if we do it in ways that piss of the fundies and RCChurch.
Wrap it in latex then pop that pill!! Take away a fundie’s wings.
Amen, MAJeff. Their main goal is to cripple you with shame and self-loathing. Screwing joyously is a great way to push back. Enjoy your body! Life is short.
When I read the title of this blog entry I thought, “What kind of contraceptive do you screw on? Do you use a screwdriver?”
Your first paragraph is now my away message. It is that awesome.
What we do know: Women on the pill will certainly slough off exponentially fewer fertilized eggs than women using nothing. Because if you’re ovulating and having unprotected sex, then you’re fertilizing eggs that die. But if you’re not ovulating, you’re not. Easy-peasy. Even if one egg slips through once every 60 months or something, gets fertilized and sloughs of, that’s still many fewer fertilized eggs than a woman not on the pill is “killing”. If you want women not to kill fertilized eggs, you’d actually want the pill to be mandatory.
I’ve heard the whole, “Pill prevents fetus implantation” line before but never had a better response than, “Those aren’t TEH BAYBEEZ, so stfu.” This is markedly better. Well done. I am stealing this early and often.
You talk to one of them, and it becomes quite clear they’ve convinced themselves that the main way the pill functions is by releasing a bunch of mini mercenaries who hunt down fertilized eggs and shoot them.
And yet, no study has ever proven conclusively that hormonal birth control (of ANY sort) does actually prevent a fertilized egg from implanting. It’s one of those things where science tells us that it’s kinda-sorta possible that this “could” happen, and we can’t conclusively disprove it. Even though no study that has ever been done with any hormonal birth control has ever documented this actually happening.
It’s kind of like if conservatives wanted to shut down the National Park System due to Bigfoot. Sure, he could exist, but his existence has never been conclusively proven.
Opoponax-- That’s a good first line of defense. But I think it’s important to make clear that it also doesn’t matter whether the claim is true or not, since women’s control of their own body trumps in any case. If we just say, “That’s not proven!” the implication is that, if it was proven, it would be proper to ban the pill. Dealing with anti-choicers is always walking a tight-rope…
“When I read the title of this blog entry I thought, “What kind of contraceptive do you screw on? Do you use a screwdriver?””
You beat me to the punch.
But I think it’s important to make clear that it also doesn’t matter whether the claim is true or not, since women’s control of their own body trumps in any case. If we just say, “That’s not proven!” the implication is that, if it was proven, it would be proper to ban the pill.
Oh, I fully agree with that. In fact my main point, if I were to have one, would probably be that they will pretty much make up whatever they want to prevent access to contraception. Teh Pill Kills Baybeez goes hand in hand with Condoms Don’t Work and Diaphragm? What’s A Diaphragm? to prevent women from being able to escape “punishment” for being sexually active.
And yet, no study has ever proven conclusively that hormonal birth control (of ANY sort) does actually prevent a fertilized egg from implanting. It’s one of those things where science tells us that it’s kinda-sorta possible that this “could” happen, and we can’t conclusively disprove it.
Preventing the implantation of a fertilized egg with the Pill is about as likely as causing a gas station fire with a cell phone. It just doesn’t happen.
Yes, you’ve probably heard that the friend of a friend (a FOAF, as they say in the urban legends business) heard about a fire that started because someone’s cell phone rang while they were refueling their car, but every case has been shown to be caused by other forces (usually static electricity) with the cell phone being completely incidental. It’s FAR more dangerous to get in and out of your car at the gas station than it is to answer your cell phone there.
Heh. I also thought, “Screw on contraception? What? Is that something new? Some kind of new male thing they have to screw on their penis like a lid to a jar?”
Coincidentally, I just started on the Pill this week. Even though my partner has fertility issues and we don’t need it. I did it entirely to stop menstruating (so often.) So, Yeah! Me! I’m preventing my eggs from fertilizing and dying. I’m saving Teh Baybeez!
Yeah, I don’t know that it’s at snopes level or anything. Even sane doctors will admit that it might be “possible”, but we just don’t know. It’s more at the level of “cell phones could cause brain tumors”. They could, but thus far it has never happened as far as any legitimate scientists have discovered.
It’s really more the “we can’t prove a negative” thing. They can’t prove that fertilized eggs don’t occasionally slip out on the pill. But what we can say, beyond a shadow of a doubt, is that a woman using the pill slips exponentially FEWER fertilized eggs than a woman who uses nothing. Let’s say we have two women, one on the pill and one not, and both are having sex the same number of times for 60 months. The woman on the pill will ovulate 0 times, or maybe (we can’t prove a negative) 1 times, which resulted in a fertilization that didn’t take.
The woman not using the pill will probably get pregnant about 5 times and slip at least 5 fertilized eggs in that time. On average, 1/3 of her pregnancies will end in miscarriage, bringing her “death toll” to 7.
Clearly, if you don’t want to be a murderer, you take the pill.
I did my part this morning. I must say that shagging like bunnies is one of my more preferred methods of protest. 
Though as I have my tubes tied, I suppose I’m extra-preventing Little Miracles(tm) from being born as it is.
The other group of people who would be enraged by limiting access to the Pill are the women who take it for a variety of gynecologic problems.
They’d have to believe that there’s like a little baby in the semen waiting to get formed. That level of misinformation will be hard to come by.
Well, they do have that picture from the 1780s
http://www.sullydog.com/sullysites/qm/classicmeat/10-01/homunculus.gif
So, not that hard.
But isn’t it true that IVF patients are given the equivalent of BCPs (or the hormones within) to help implantation? So women on BCP ought to just as likely to be MORE likely to implant than not as likely to implant. Cause you can’t cut women up for research, shits, and giggles.
No. You can’t.
Women are humans.
Really! They are. It’s inhumane to experiment on them willy nilly without their consent.
Even if there wasn’t a single woman out there who used it for medical reasons, they’d have no point. Not wanting to be pregnant while being fertile IS a gynecological problem that the pill addresses. It’s not like pregnancy is a walk in the park.
The other group of people who would be enraged by limiting access to the Pill are the women who take it for a variety of gynecologic problems.
Oh come on Nancy P! If any woman really had a gynecological problem that needed to be treated with BCPs, she could go to a judge and explain her case to him. If he decides it is medically necessary (b/c of course a woman and her abortionist doctor shouldn’t be making medical decisions alone) then she can get a temporary waiver to get a 3 month prescription.
When that’s up? Well, she should go back to the doctor and see if she still has endometriosis or whatever and if she does, then she can go back to court! Because, really, unless it’s life-threatening, she shouldn’t be messing with God’s little incubator.
See? All nice and legal and protective of teh baybeez without truly inconveniencing the walking uteri.
What we do know: Women on the pill will certainly slough off exponentially fewer fertilized eggs than women using nothing. Because if you’re ovulating and having unprotected sex, then you’re fertilizing eggs that die.
This is something that can be pressed on an anti-choicer, just like asking them how a woman who gets an abortion ought to be legally punished. Their ensuing confusion is barrels of laughs.
Screw On! Apply directly to the clit head! Screw On! Apply directly to the little head. Screw On!
Because, really, unless it’s life-threatening, she shouldn’t be messing with God’s little incubator.
There. Fixed.
It was 100 degrees and 95% humidity in downstate New York today. The crazies couldn’t have picked a better day to protest shit. I hope they had a lovely time.
ok seriously, i take bcp to prevent pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder which renders me pretty much completely insane. so umm, unless they want me angry at them while insane, theyre letting me keep my pill.
on a happy note, my new yellowbook phone book just arrived, and i was flipping through it (i like to look for interesting new businesses in phonebooks) i discovered that under the listing for abortion alternatives theres a disclaimer that specifically says that the places listed there will not provide information on abortions or references to get an abortion. it was nice to see that my phonebook publisher outs CPCs for what they are.
*I don’t think of pregnancy this way, but it’s clearly the dominant paradigm of the uber patriarchy, with its theme song “She’s Having My Baby”.
Judging by the purity balls and the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, “Thank Heavens for Little Girls” is probably on the play-list as well.
Fortunately, there are other equally appropriate songs.
”singing filthy, blasphemous songs about how Jesus and Mary Magdalene got it on.
<a href = “http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGpYFLIhDio">For example</a>. (Starts actually singing ~3: 20)
Great idea for a sign: “Pills don’t kill babies, WARS kill babies”.
I’ve been reading ‘The Handmaids Tale’, where sex has become something like getting the mail or starting coffee in the morning. It’s a process rather than an enjoyable act between two people in love or lust. As a matter of fact, lust has been outlawed in the book. Women wear what sounds like Burka like attire that has what can only be described as ‘blinders’ and ‘women’ that are of child bearing age are treated like the baby machines they are. They can’t be allowed any freedoms like to read, talk amongst themselves, walk without ‘bodyguards’ and no one is trusted. If your ‘master’ can’t knock you up, it’s considered the ‘woman’s’ fault. Extreme devotion to the rules is demanded. Ritual hangings in the town square and the display of the rotting corpses help to insure devotion to the totalitarian rule. I put ‘women’ in quotes because they are treated like a ‘thing’. Like a toaster or a stove. You put ‘something’ in it and out comes something.
Truly disgusting.
I don’t think that ‘God’ wanted teh sex to be such a disgusting and cold thing. If you remove the feelings OF sex, who is going to want to DO sex anymore.
One of those faux ‘pregnancy clinics’ advertised on this page (thanks to Google) and I tracked their webdesigner to their site: http://www.terwilligerweb.com/development.php. They even provide ‘articles’ for your site: http://www.terwilligerweb.com/articles.php.
From one of their sites: http://www.collegecarecenter.org/index.php?s=factsheets&p=sheet1 : Condoms don’t work that well. Where have I heard that before…
One of their ‘testimonials’:
Ethical Issues Regarding Post-Fertilization Effects of Oral Contraceptives
A Physician’s Commentary
I have prescribed “the Pill” since 1978. My wife and I used the Pill for years, having no moral concerns about it. Then, in 1995 my friend and practice partner John Hartman, MD, showed me a patient information brochure--given to him by a friend--that claimed the Pill had a postfertilization effect causing “...the unrecognized loss of preborn children.” John asked me if I had ever heard of such a thing. I had not. I did read the brochure and its claims seemed to be outlandish, excessive, and inaccurate. So, I decided to begin a literature search to disprove these claims to my partner, myself, and any patients who might ask about it.
The more research I did, the more concerned I became about my findings. I called researchers around the country and interviewed them. During this process I met Joe Stanford, MD. Joe volunteered to assist in the research that ultimately became this systematic review. We were concerned enough about our findings and about the fact that so many of our colleagues and patients seemed to share our ignorance about this potential effect that we presented the preliminary results of our research at a number of research forums, just to see if we were off base. Most of the reviewers suggested that, although this evidence was new to them (as it was to us), it seemed accurate and not off target. Furthermore, several said that they thought it would change the way family physicians informed their patients about the Pill and its potential effects.
The most difficult part of this research was deciding how to apply it to my practice. I discussed it with my partners, my patients, ethicists I know and respect, and pastors in my community. I studied the ethical principle of double effect and discussed the issue with religious physicians of several faiths. Finally, after many months of debate and prayer, I decided in 1998 to no longer prescribe the Pill. As a family physician, my career has been committed to family care from conception to death. Since the evidence indicated to me that the Pill could have a postfertilization effect, I felt I could no longer, in good conscience, prescribe it--especially since viable alternatives are available. The support and encouragement that my partners, staff, and patients have given me has been unexpectedly affirming. It seems that my patients have appreciated the information I have given them. Many have been surprised or even shocked (as I was) to learn about this potential effect. Many of my patients have chosen to continue taking the Pill, and we have physicians in our practice and community who will prescribe it for them. Patients who take the Pill tell me that they are much more careful with their compliance. Others have chosen other birth control options--especially one of the modern methods of natural family planning. So, this is research that has changed my soul and my practice. It has been an extraordinarily difficult issue with which I have had to wrestle. I suspect it will be so for many who thoughtfully read and consider the evidence contained in this review.
Walter L. Larimore, MD
Kissimmee, Fla
Source: Author’s Comment, WL Larimore, JB Stanford, Postfertilization Effects of Oral Contraceptives and Their Relationship to Informed Consent, Archives of Family Medicine, 2000;9:126-133.
Another one of their ‘articles’ equates smoking to psychiatric medicines!
Similar to the use of psychiatric medicines during pregnancy, smoking during pregnancy is estimated to account for 20 to 30 percent of low-birth weight babies, up to 14 percent of preterm deliveries, and some 10 percent of all infant deaths. Maternal smoking during and after pregnancy has been linked to asthma among infants and young children. In 1996, 13.6 percent of mothers were reported to have smoked during pregnancy.
And popups pop for a website called ‘Seeking Marriage’ and for Sylvan learning Centers.
And if you are a minority you are doomed to get AIDS and die:
Minorities are more likely to become infected with HIV in America, not because of race, but because of certain challenges they are more likely to face than their white counterparts. However, white people make up a substantial portion, but minorities are at an even greater risk.
And use a spermicide and you get AIDS:
<bockquote>Nonoxynol-9 may actually enhance HIV transmission. A gel containing nonoxynol-9, a spermicide effective in preventing pregnancy (especially when used with a diaphragm), was tested as a microbicide to prevent HIV transmission. Not only did the compound fail to prevent transmission of the virus, but it may somehow have facilitated it. According to a presentation at the 13th International AIDS Conference held in July in Durban, South Africa, nearly 1,000 HIV-negative women were randomly assigned to use either the nonoxynol-9 product or a placebo gel; they were also given condoms and encouraged to use them. After four years, the women who used the test product had a 50% higher rate of HIV infection than did women who used the placebo gel.</blockquote>
And the hits keep coming…
(which is why people erroneously think that the pill causes weight gain, which has been disproven in scientific studies)
Not true at all.
What’s been proven is that not all birth control pills cause weight gain and different women react differently; some lose weight. But the side effect of gaining weight while on birth control is well known. Not all women become psychotic and try to kill themselves on every pill, either, but it is a known side effect that nearly killed me on one pill.
The truth is there is a very wide range of nasty side effects for birth control. I myself have suffered weight gain from two separate pills, and paranoia, anxiety and depression from two other ones. On the other hand, I suffered no side effects from Yasmin or the mini-pill. And the time of your life makes a difference too; one pill left my weight stable in my 20’s, but made me gain 25 lbs in about five months in my 30’s.
The other thing that’s true is that no matter what the pill does to you, pregnancy could cause the same damn thing, and for some of the side effects like weight gain, almost certainly will. But it does no woman a service to pretend that the Pill has no side effects. Women should be making informed decisions based on knowledge of all the side effects, both for the Pill and for pregnancy, and should know that side effects vary from pill to pill for different women. What your friend goes through on Ortho-Cyclen may not be what you go through, but maybe you can’t take Levlen and she can.
And in the other ring of this circus:
CREATIONISM IN TEXAS: ITS STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES.
Texas is a huge textbook market with a major influence on content. Republican Governor Rick Perry, and Don McLeroy, a dentist who chairs the State Board of Education, are both creationists. So are 7 of the 15 board members. And this summer the board will determine the curriculum for the next decade. Curriculum standards call for teaching the “strengths and weaknesses” of evolution. The “weaknesses” seen by the creationists are religious objections. The New York Times quotes McLeroy as saying, “that little baby born in the manger was the god that created the universe.”
To bad the Texas governor’s mansion just burned to the ground. How many skeletons were in those closets…
Alara Rogers - thank you for saying all that, I was just about to make a similar comment. I’ve had nightmares with BCP myself, including significant, rapid weight gain twice. I fully agree with everything Amanda says except that one sentence, but after the nightmares I’ve gone through (including severe, suicidal-level depression) because of BCP (Yasmin and Yaz for me, actually), I think it’s really important every time I see anyone making a claim that BCPs are totally harmless to correct that. BCPs have done tremendous things for women, and it’s extremely important to keep the decision whether to take them between a woman and her doctor. But it’s also extremely important to understand that severe side effects do occur, and those side effects will vary depending on which pill you’re taking and who you are. I wasn’t warned about the possibility of the side effects I ended up with, and as a result it didn’t even occur to me—the first time, anyway—that it was a problem with the pill I was on. That’s not the fault of BCPs in general, that was a problem with my doctor not educating me and me being kind of clueless. But that’s exactly why it’s important not to spread the misinformation that there are no side effects from BCPs.
Page 1 of 1 pages
Commenting is not available in this weblog entry.
Wrap a condom around a butt plug and shove it up your ass.
I remember a time several years ago, when I was spending the night at a lesbian couple’s house (we were friends and doing organizing work together-that weekend was a lobby day). Before bed, they were asking me, “Do you need anything before bed?”
“No, I’m fine. Thank you.”
“Water.”
“No, thanks.”
“A condom?”
?
Hadn’t thought of it, but condoms are great for cleaning your dildo, especially if you’re going to share.
The authors of that old “Queers Read This” pamphlet had it right. “Every time we fuck, we win.” Especially if we do it in ways that piss of the fundies and RCChurch.
Wrap it in latex then pop that pill!! Take away a fundie’s wings.