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NC: fundie pastor’s Halloween non-KJV bible burning and BBQ turns into batsh*t fail-o-rama

• Batsh*t Crazy • Fundies • Religion

Remember the promises of Pastor Marc Grizzard, of Amazing Grace Baptist Church in Canton, NC? He was going to hold a BBQ and book burning of non-King James versions of The Good Book, including the Good News for Modern Man, the Evidence Bible, the New International Version Bible, the Green Bible and the Message Bible—all deemed as "Satan's Bibles" by the church.

Right Wing Watch reports that the best laid plans by these reality-challenged fundies…FAIL. In fact, RWW has nominated this for Worst.Book.Burning.Ever. Here's the rip-roaring backup plan (keyboard protection on, please).

[W]hen the big day came around, a combination of rain, protesters, and a state law against burning paper all conspired against them.

Amazing Grace Church had this to say about people who noted that God must intervened to stop the insanity.

We wanted to say that the Book Burning was a great success[.] We wanted to thank all the Bible doubters who prayed for rain with us. All the protestors and media got wet; we were inside where it was nice and dry[.] We are not glad people got wet, we are glad that His Word was honored. Some have written praising God that he intervened and stopped the Book Burning because of the rain, protestors, and state laws about burning paper. Nothing was stopped. Our goal was to destroy garbage as noted below, and we did just that. We didn't care how it was destroyed; only that it was destroyed. These same people must have never heard about "Paper, Rock, & Scissors." Scissors cut paper, and paper tears real easy. We destroyed everything as planned. Praise God! God answered every prayer that everyone prayed, but they don't like the answer.

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Posted by Pam Spaulding on 10:56 PM • (21) Comments

Ignore the trolls, Pam.

Comment #1: pseudonymous in nc on 11/12 at 11:06 PM

Those guys made stupidade out of stupid. Commend them or just laugh? Why choose just one?

Comment #2: 3letterjon on 11/12 at 11:25 PM

@3letterjon - your comment made me almost pee my pants! Stupidade out of stupid!

Comment #3: CParis on 11/12 at 11:42 PM

They should have gotten a wood chipper. I could’ve sent them a KJV dressed up to look like another version and then informed them afterward with a, “Haha! Now you’re going to Hell!”

At any rate, a wood chipper would’ve been cool.

Comment #4: Tesla Dethray on 11/12 at 11:43 PM

May God smite them with paper cuts.

Comment #5: Bitter Scribe on 11/12 at 11:46 PM

I busted up. That was so lame.

Comment #6: Samantha Vimes on 11/12 at 11:51 PM

The state law against burning paper reminds me of a HS government class debate we had over flag burning, which was the wanna-be constitututional ammendment du jour. I got stuck on the “flag burning is not protected speech” side. Since I believed at the time (and still do) that part of what the flag symbolizes for is our right to protest what it symbolizes, and not being into debate and experienced at arguing against my own beliefs, my argument basically boiled down to “there are lots of things that it is illegal to burn. For instance, we can not burn leaves in this county. Does that mean that someone can violate the leaf burning law if they claim that they are doing it to protest how much they hate trees?”

No one quite understood the point that I was trying to make, unfortunately, just got a lot of “But, why would anyone want to protest against trees?” (we were just a little bit too young to have noticed the “trees cause pollution” meme of the Reagan years) It wasn’t a good point, I’m pretty strongly of the opinion that first ammendment rights trump most all other laws. But, that makes me wonder, what happens when these local laws against burning various substances come up against something that is clearly an act of protest? It was going to be their own property, is there really a problem with them burning items in protest just because the items in question happened to be made of paper? If so, that makes me feel sympathy for them, which is not a feeling I want to be having.

Comment #7: Djinna on 11/13 at 12:42 AM

I would bet very large amounts of money (heavily leveraged of course, since that way my profits are ginormous when I win, and all you taxpayers cover my losses—plus my bonus, too, of course—when I win by losing; is this a great country or what?) that over half of this “flock” are clinically certifiable.
Crazy flockers they are.

Comment #8: smartalek on 11/13 at 01:55 AM

And paper beats rock.

I’m not sure what they meant.

I know you’re not supposed to burn trash, but don’t they have licenses for burning slash or paper logs for the fireplace or community events? Seems like right-wingers never seem to manage to get the right permits, and they’re all for making the permit structure in the first place.

Comment #9: Crissa on 11/13 at 02:10 AM

Crissa:

Seems like right-wingers never seem to manage to get the right permits, and they’re all for making the permit structure in the first place.

In fairness, they are morons.

Comment #10: Dan, Grand High Emperor of Bananas Foster on 11/13 at 02:18 AM

Shades of Savonarola…

Comment #11: Maureen on 11/13 at 02:45 AM

Crissa: Paper beats rock, and the church was founded on a rock, which was Peter, therefore Marc Grizzard’s peter beats, um…I got nothing. Sorry, I guess I’m just not crazy enough to join their club.

Comment #12: A. on 11/13 at 03:11 AM

every time i see that guy’s picture, i hear the “Deliverance” banjo dual run through my head. just sayin….....................

Comment #13: cpinva on 11/13 at 03:53 AM

Seeing these idol-worshipers always confuses me, until I realize that they’re crazy. Setting up a book as an idol is no less sinful to their own professed beliefs than making one out of gold is. It makes them hypocrits, which their own professed saviour held in most contempt. If they weren’t so serious I’d think it pretty funny.

Oh, who am I kidding? I do find it funny.

Comment #14: Matthew, Patron Saint of Affogato on 11/13 at 04:02 AM

Pastor Grizzard and his rapture-ready flock are a few members short of achieving insane asylum status. Book burning, like the smearing of one’s feces, are the primary activities of the mentally challenged.

Comment #15: BobbyV on 11/13 at 08:28 AM

“every time i see that guy’s picture, i hear the “Deliverance” banjo dual run through my head. just sayin….....................”

I’m seeing something similar to Children of the Corn, only with some adults added in…

Comment #16: MikeEss on 11/13 at 11:01 AM

The ban against burning paper is likely on of fire safety, pollution control and health & safety. In rural areas to get people to “properly dispose” of their trash, local authorities have been known to ban burning specific general household trash items - paper, disposable dipers, plastic bottles, etc - that can be hazardous or that they don’t want gathering up until enough accumulate for a big burn. Most households that burn their trash don’t do so weekly, or necessarily even monthly, and yes, some rural areas still have people who burn most of their household trash.

Comment #17: helen w. h. on 11/13 at 11:18 AM

But, that makes me wonder, what happens when these local laws against burning various substances come up against something that is clearly an act of protest?

A guy in Washington state applied for a permit to burn a flag on the capital steps, but the police kicked it to the firefighters who asked the airshed authority who said “no”.

You have to understand that in places like NC, any exception to the air quality rules would mean huge burning piles of industrial waste and people going back to barrel burning their trash. Very bad shit, that.

Comment #18: Ms Kate on 11/13 at 01:06 PM

Ignore the trolls, Pam.

Eh. I think at this point, most people have reconciled themselves to the fact that one aspect of this blog is always fling to be “let’s point and laugh at/get outraged by what some right winger did/said.” it is not my thing, but it is easy blog post fodder. Even Jesse, in his younger days, had a “let’s look at what people at TownHall.com are writing.”

Comment #19: Tyro on 11/13 at 01:26 PM

So hang on a second here. Looking at it strictly from their perspective:

- You plan a book burning.

- God makes it pour rain, which means that if you had tried to burn the books, God ensured that the fire would have gone out anyway.

- This absolutely proves that God wanted you to burn the books.

I know I often say these people need Logic 101, but I don’t think this even vaguely brushes up against logic of any kind in the first place. “God made sure we couldn’t burn the books, which only proves he wanted us to burn them!”