“Sorry, CPR classes.”

That is so right.  If you don’t have snark, is life really worth living?  Of course not.

Therefore snark must be more important than merely learning how to save a few people’s lives in an emergency…

“Just the place for a Snark!” the Bellman cried,
As he landed his crew with care;
Supporting each man on the top of the tide
By a finger entwined in his hair.

“Just the place for a Snark! I have said it twice:
That alone should encourage the crew.
Just the place for a Snark! I have said it thrice:
What I tell you three times is true.”

Rea—one of my favorites!

Oh, and CPR is more important (to me) since I work in healthcare, but I’ve never used it outside the job. Snark is usable anywhere.

Presumably Knuterockne is going to detonate a nuclear device moments from now.

@5 atheist

Well, clearly we have to start torturing someone.

Um…

Shit.

This is embarrassing.

Look, everyone, could I have your attention for a minute?  There’s an emergency.  We’re going to have to torture someone.  This is, ah…do we have any volunteers?

God, this is awkward.

The moment for snark is almost over?  If 8 years of ol’ G.W. didn’t stop the snark, I don’t think whatever nefarious/impossible thing you are imagining will have that effect.

I know many of you live to make the liberals cry, but the harder you try, the funnier it all becomes.  If you managed to actually succeed in your goals, the world you’d create would be so miserable and desolate that snark would then be the only thing sustaining any of us (you included).

Don’t worry, we’ll share.

#7

If you managed to actually succeed in your goals, the world you’d create would be so miserable and desolate that snark would then be the only thing sustaining any of us (you included).

Now that’s a real good point.

Atheist, A Feminist, I knew this would happen eventually. Um, do you think we’ll confuse people?

I could add more words to my handle if you think it will confuse folks to have two atheists, is all I’m saying.

#6

Look, everyone, could I have your attention for a minute?  There’s an emergency.  We’re going to have to torture someone.  This is, ah…do we have any volunteers?

Knuterockne, where did you hide the nuke, huh?!?!?! Answer or I’ll raise my voice.

I shudder to think what a summer associate position would have been like this summer. “This summer…we dine…at applebee’s!”

welcome back…

Atheist, A Feminist

Worst attempt at a palindrome I’ve ever seen.

And in both politics and CPR, we get to try to blow breath into dummies.

@7 atheist-not-Atheist-a-Feminist-atheist

“I don’t know which one to shoot!”

@13

This reminds me of the “this is what a feminist looks like” t-shirt campaign.  Frequently, due to the luscious curvature of the human form and the tendency of fabric to wrinkle, the photo would actually depict a shirt that appeared to read “this is what afeminist looks like.”  And I would think, shit.  I should probably stay away from him/her.

Then I’d get tired, because it’s tough to use the slash in thought.

Good to have you back!

@ atheist

I think we’ve done okay so far (it’s been over a year).  If I’d seen your name before I registered, I might have swapped the order or something.

@PIATOR

And that is why we rely on you for wittiness and not me.

#17

(it’s been over a year).

Oh, OK. I didn’t realize, this was the first time I remember seeing your handle.