Best.  Advance directive.  Ever.

I suppose there should be a lifelong stipulation that you should never be claimed by the Republicans, as MLK often is, but I suppose if there’s any kind of fundamental shift where they become the liberal party, that might be a problem.

As a practicing attorney in Maryland, I absolutely love this both personally and professionally.

I am informed that in the Jewish community, there is a concept called an ”ethical will” which is perhaps apropos of this discussion.

I’m preparing a draft of the Amanda Marcotte Fuck the Haters Act as we speak. The first item on the agenda is to commission DEVO to produce a new national anthem. I’m still working on the rest, though.

Amanda, you should just state outright: “Whichever party currently identifies as the conservative party in the way that term is currently understood, right now, at the time of this writing, is expressly not a party I would support and any claim to the contrary is a lie.”

My brother and I were talking about this a while ago. I said “When I die, I hope our family tells people that in lieu of flowers people should donate to the ACLU… and our conservative relatives who don’t like it can eat it.” We laughed at my morbid joke, but I was (dead) serious.

This post reminds me of Sally Baron and Gertrude Jones who died in 2003 and whose family members instructed their family members to make memorial donations to “any organization that seeks the removal of President George Bush from office.”

At all times, in any situation, the only decent response is for liberals to concede. C’mon, any Real American knows that.

In what family and friends describe as a “tantric ritual gone horribly wrong”, the fearsome blogger, gadfly, IMS, and critic, Ms. Amanda Marcotte, resident of Austin for 65 years, passed away at the age of 83 on XX/XX/2060. She was a native of Alpine, TX.  She leaves behind her considerable fortune made after the Blogging Rush of 2012 to the Mosh Pit and Dynamite Foundation, which she founded in 2045.

Yeah, I never understood why the funeral of someone who was passionately political shouldn’t also be passionately political. 
I live in MN and Wellstone’s death was quite a blow, especially since we then had six years of Sen. Coleman.  He was a good mayor of St Paul, particularly while he was a Dem. but a crappy Senator.
I am so glad that we have finally (recount!) taken back the seat and I dearly hope that Sen. Franken can live up to it.

Seemed to be implied, but not necessarily - still though, I believe it is acceptable to point out glaring flaws in a noted person’s life after they pass away. For example, when Reagan died I did my best to disseminate information on his various corrupt roles in events such as Iran-Contra and Latin American regime changes.

Of course, I have no patience for bullshit like Althouse - anything you say about someone who has passed, whether positive or negative, should be firmly grounded in truth and accuracy.

Yeah, I never understood why the funeral of someone who was passionately political shouldn’t also be passionately political. 

Because it undermines the conservative cause, which is always wrong.

Sort of reminds of the column Molly Ivins would write every so often…

“Tell ‘em how much fun it was...”

I would like my death to be politicized in much the same way as Amanda’s, but since that won’t matter much in my case, I’d also like to see Sandra Lee drug out and shot as an example to all the people who encourage us to eat crappy food.

@BrainX: You could also arrange to have an effigy of Ronald MacDonald burnt at your wake.

“I understand that on her deathbed, Amanda recanted, and became an Objectivist...”

I definitely need to start building up a list of media e-mails so I can start using them to scream at pundits the minute they start whining about “politicizing” Kennedy’s funeral.

I’ll keep Monkeyshines away from the casket. Auguste can keep him away from Amanda’s female friends and relatives.

PiaToR, have you ever read Elmer Gantry?  If not, I think you would find it interesting and relevant to understanding the Christianist religion in America.

From the Wiki:

Background

Lewis did research for the novel by observing the work of various preachers in Kansas City in his so-called “Sunday School” meetings on Wednesdays. He first worked with William L. “Big Bill” Stidger (not Burris Jenkins), pastor of the Linwood Boulevard Methodist Episcopal Church in Kansas City, Missouri. Stidger introduced Lewis to many other clergymen, among them the Reverend L.M. Birkhead, a Unitarian and an agnostic. Lewis preferred the liberal Birkhead to the conservative Stidger, and on his second visit to Kansas City Lewis chose Birkhead as his guide. Other KC ministers Lewis interviewed included Burris Jenkins, Earl Blackman, I. M. Hargett, and Bert Fiske.

The character of Sharon Falconer was based on elements in the career of Aimee Semple McPherson, an American evangelist who founded the Pentecostal Christian denomination known as the International Church of the Foursquare Gospel in 1927. (Lingeman, p. 283)

Amanda Marcotte RIP

She never gave in.  She never gave out.  Ms. Marcotte was an unwavering critic, throughout her long life of what she famously described as the Unhinged Elements of society.  Just last week the elderly Ms. Marcotte attended the 100th anniversary of the once controversial Roe v. Wade which was just upheld last week on a 9-0 vote.  Members of both major parties, the Liberal Party and the Sorta-Liberal Party attended the funeral which became a world media event.  Ms. Marcotte’s last words were reputed to have have been ***k a bunch of Republicans which caused many to speculate that she may have ultimately died of dementia since there hasn’t been a Republican Party for 20 years.  Rest in Peace, Lioness of the Blogosphere.

or else the wingnuts will declare that the only proper way to honor your legacy is to start by undermining it.

Well that’s it right there.  It’s not that politicizing a death is necessarily wrong.  It’s just that the wingnuts should get to decide how it is to be politicized.  They are furious that people are talking about Sen. Kennedy’s legacy as a tireless advocate for the poor and an effective lawmaker.  They’re supposed to be talking about Chappaquiddick and how Kennedy was the liberalist of the liberally libturds, dammit! 

Oh yeah, and politicize my death too, please.  In lieu of flowers.

I’ve always favored a nice ziggurat, or at least a mastaba, with a couple of hyena-headed granite statues in front.  Nothing overboard, mind you.

Oh yeah, and politicize my death too, please.  In lieu of flowers.

I want a circuit party. With a drag ball. As a fundraiser.

On a slightly related note:

I live in Minnesota and a couple of days ago I saw a car with a bumber sticker that said “Wellstone is Dead, Get Over It”

I was shocked that someone would put such naked douchebaggery on their car for all to see.  I mean, I understand if you want to mock my politics but do you have to mock my pain?

PiaToR, have you ever read Elmer Gantry?

My comment was an allusion to Darwin…

I don’t know if I could stand reading about Pentacostals.  What I know of the religion makes my teeth itch.

This post reminds me of Sally Baron and Gertrude Jones who died in 2003 and whose family members instructed their family members to make memorial donations to “any organization that seeks the removal of President George Bush from office.”

omg, I hadn’t heard about that!  awesome!  :D

Give me a cheap cremation and all donations at the wake go toward Sasha Obama’s re-election fund.

Also see a man whose name I don’t remember, but whose obituary in the Chicago Tribune read: In lieu of flowers, please write acerbic editorials about Republicans. That one always made me happy.

Well, since you’re not dead yet, does that mean that point #5 does or does not currently apply?  I mean, I’d much rather negatively politicize your life, but I don’t know if point #5 prohiobits that.

The Roman in a time of Visigoths wrote:

What I know of the religion makes my teeth itch.

That wouldn’t happen if you brushed your teeth regularly. 

Not to get too meta on you, but Darwin wasn’t the only public figure reputed to have had a deathbed conversion, Col Ingersoll was an American agnostic whose spurious deathbed conversion is mentioned in Elmer Gantry.

This is a good summary:

Just before the 4th of July, I finished Elmer Gantry. It turned out to be one of the greatest novels I have ever read. Elmer Gantry, published in 1927, was so much more complex, so much more biting and chilling in its description of the worst parts of the American psyche, so much more timeless, than I ever imagined it would be. I expected a comic-book story and dated prose—I got, instead, vivid characters and lines of text I found myself re-reading per their beautiful structure and perfect descriptions. This book isn’t just as it’s usually, simply described: adventures of a golden-tongued evangelist who lives a live of hypocrisy and self-indulgence. This also isn’t a novel whose primary, sole purpose is to attack the clergy. Elmer Gantry is a searingly-accurate profile of the USA, one that still stands oh-so-many years later. I finished the book and sat staring out the window for 10 minutes. I didn’t know whether to laugh or weep.

What’s so disheartening about this book, for me, is, as noted in the afterword by Mark Schorer, “The forces of social good and enlightenment as presented in Elmer Gantry are not strong enough to offer any real resistance to the forces of social evil and banality.” Frank Shallard is defeated. So is Jim Lefferts. All the good people go down.

Maybe you have to have been raised in the South or Midwest of the USA, and to have been brought up Baptist or Methodist, to really, truly get all the layers of Elmer Gantry, all the hidden humor, all the razor-sharp and, at times, incredibly subtle, criticism and commentary. If you’ve never been to a church supper where a person claims to have traced their lineage all the way back to Adam and Eve, if you have never had your school board or local city council hear arguments about why certain books should be banned from school or local libraries, if a significant number of your family wouldn’t boycott your wedding if you chose to serve alcohol, if you have never heard Catholics called “Papists” from a pulpit, if school friends haven’t told you, in all sincerity, that they are going to pray for you because of your questions and intellect, if you haven’t heard “Christians” rationalize about their actions that are in direct conflict to what the Bible says, I’m not sure you can really, truly get this book. But I could be wrong (I frequently am)

Link

My mother faced more concern from my fathers’ Texas family that she was a Catholic over the fact that she was part-Chinese.

Here’s an American joke about religion:

The difference between religions.
Jews don’t recognize Jesus as the son of God.
Methodists don’t recognize the pope as the representative of God on earth.
Baptist don’t recognize each other in the liquor store.

President Obama has isued a formal Proclamation on the passing of Edward Moore Kennedy:

Senator Edward M. Kennedy was not only one of the greatest senators of our time, but one of the most accomplished Americans ever to serve our democracy. Over the past half-century, nearly every major piece of legislation that has advanced the civil rights, health, and economic well-being of the American people bore his name and resulted from his efforts. With his passing, an important chapter in our American story has come to an end.

As a mark of respect for the memory of Senator Edward M. Kennedy, I hereby order, by the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States of America, that the flag of the United States shall be flown at half-staff at the White House and upon all public buildings and grounds, at all military posts and naval stations, and on all naval vessels of the Federal Government in the District of Columbia and throughout the United States and its Territories and possessions until sunset on August 30, 2009. I also direct that the flag of the United States shall be flown at half-staff until sunset on the day of his interment. I further direct that the flag shall be flown at half-staff for the same periods at all United States embassies, legations, consular offices, and other facilities abroad, including all military facilities and naval vessels and stations.

Very fitting.

But an even more fitting tribute will be the passage of a strong healthcare bill that provides access and affordability to all Americans with the availability of a public option.

Perhaps we can call it The Edward M. Kennedy Healthcare Reform Act of 2009

Well, since you’re not dead yet, does that mean that point #5 does or does not currently apply?

Dana

It applies from the beginning of time to the end of time.

Amanda Bush, former First Lady of Texas and a tireless pro-life advocate following her conversion to Catholicism upon her marriage to George P Bush, then a widower, in 2016, passed away in 2050 at the age of 73.  Formerly known as Amanda Marcotte, a forceful abortion rights advocate, her conversion was a particularly notable one, one of several which occurred that year, and was seen as instrumental in the passage and ratification of the Twenty-Eighth Amendment, which outlawed both abortion and capital punishment.  Her uncle (by marriage), former President George W Bush, still spry at age 104, said “Mandy always was one of my favorites; she had a smile that would light up a room, and no one ever worked harder for passage of the Twenty-Eighth Amendment.” She was also an advocate for the rights of the disabled following the birth of her last child, who had Downs Syndrome.

Mrs Bush is survived by her five children, George Prescott Bush, Jr., John Edward Bush II, Jesse Taylor Bush, George Herbert Walker Bush II and Dana Pico Bush.

Remembering the national day of mourning over Reagan’s death I am tempted to start trolling through the memory hole now in preparation for the inevitable pearl-clutching over callous, evul liberals turning Kennedy’s memorial into a political rally.

Fuck off, Dana.  Seriously.

Oh, have a sense of humor, Amanda.  Laugh at yourself, just for once.

Oh, have a sense of humor, Amanda.  Laugh at yourself, just for once.

That was fucking disgusting, Dana.

Stop acting like a douche.  Not today.

Dana, there’s a huge gap between teasing someone by saying we’re going to lie about her after she’s gone, and writing an obit which says she gave up everything she prides herself as standing for.

The fact that you just had to go and call it “abortion rights” shows that you’re working way too much of your own nasty agenda into it for it to be amusing as a parody.

I laugh at myself all the time.  I laugh at stuff that’s funny.

Dana, you’re not funny.  I realize women around you are trained to laugh indulgently at your jokes, so perhaps you have an unrealistic image of yourself as a funny person.  But you’re not funny.  And I won’t laugh, because you don’t deserve it.

Joshua N.:
Need I remind you what Kurt Cobain said about DEVO? 

That they were the most challenging and subversive band to make it in the mainstream?  I’d agree.

Dana, to give you an understanding about why that was not funny, that comment would be like if I told a “joke” about how in the future you were going to have a change of heart and pay for an abortion for one of your daughters. And that’s not funny, that’s mean.

he was also an advocate for the rights of the disabled following the birth of her last child, who had Downs Syndrome.

The funny thing about liberals is that they don’t necessarily need to have a personal stake in the matter to become advocates in favor of the disadvantaged. Right-wingers are all about pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps, buck-up, and let government step out of the way until real-life problems affect them, and suddenly it’s about compassion for the less fortunate who happen to have the same problems they do.

Dana Chomsky X, (nee Pico) died today at a ripe old age of 89. Having made a national name for himself through an unusual political/social/sexual conversion in his middle age, in which he renounced his former beleifs and, embracing a radical form of ultra-submissive leftism, he married the famed political activist and dominatrix Aviva Chomsky, changing his last name to Chomsky as a symbolic self-emasculation for his cause. ("The real reason was that it totally turned me on”, he later admitted in a famous interview with David Letterman.)

Having decided that ultra-masculine conservatism had been nothing but a dead end for the USA, the Western World, and also homo sapiens, Dana Chomsky X then decided to spread the word of his findings, and to express his insights in the most theatrical, eye-catching and explicit manner possible. To this end, he and Mrs. Chomsky created, produced and acted in the nationwide show “The Unbearable Wussiness of the Conservative Male”, a kind of political essay in S&M;pornographic format.

In this performance, he would play his pre-conversion self, chained, leashed, and forced to explain conservative ideology non-stop while licking Mrs. Chomsky’s stilletto heels. Menaced by her cruel whip with every illogical statement, he would do his best. As the lashes accumulated on his back, his apologias for the Unitary Executive theory, the theory of “Trickle-Down Economics”, Neo-Conservative Geopolitics, and belief in the ultimate superiority of the male would begin to blur together, to become surreally turned-out, and ultimately to be completely incoherent on a logical, semantic, sexual, and emotional level. He would begin a process of abreaction, his complete weakness and submission in the face of Aviva’s stilletto heels, whip, and incredibly smokin’ hot logical explanations would force him to confront the connection between his personal slavishness and the slavishness inherent in his political beliefs. In the final act of the performance, Mr. Chomsky X would begin to see that the only way to purge himself of this slavishness would be to embrace a different worldview… and be gradually unlocked from his captivity by Aviva.

“The Unbearable Wussiness of the Conservative Male” has, in the intervening decades since its sensational inception, become a mainstay of American theatre, as popular in its own way as “Rent”, “Hair”, “Death of a Salesman” and other political statements in theatre form. Legendarily, when it was originally performed, conservative males in the audience would have their own epiphanies and decide that they too would like dominatrixes to purge them of slavishness. It is no secret that it was at this time that the Dominatrixes Union became a political force in such cities as Chicago, San Diego, San Francisco, New York, and Dallas.

Having left his considerable money to the Chomsky Institute for Rational Anarchism, Mr. Chomsky X is suvived by his two children, Eugene Debbs Chomsky, and Ida Tarbell Chomsky. The funeral will be televised in the coming week.

Aetheist ,
That’s inane drivel.Is there something of worth you’d cxare to write?

Aetheist ,
That’s inane drivel.Is there something of worth you’d cxare to write?

Says the guy unable to use punctuation or spell.

That’s inane drivel.Is there something of worth you’d cxare to write?

Remember, boys and girls, a large daily dose of irony keeps the blood a-pumpin’!

Gosh, and here I would have thought that, following my “unusual political/social/sexual conversion in his middle age,” I’d have married another man, but perhaps the other man was simply the third partner in our threesome. 

Of course, I was expecting more along the lines of:

Professionally and sexually frustrated right-wing blogger Dana Pico, 56, died today in what authorities are calling a botched assassination attempt on President Obama.  With his pockets stuffed with neo-Nazi literature and a copy of the Limbaugh Letter, Pico got within ¼ mile of the White House, when he apparently shot himself in the genitals while trying to pull a handgun from the waistband of his ill-fitting pants.  He bled to death on a Pennsylvania Avenue sidewalk.

President Obama and his family were not in Washington at the time, and the Secret Service said that there was never any danger to the President.

At the risk of being pedantic, I feel the need to clarify that a “living will” operates while you’re still alive. A document detailing your wishes for after death is just called a “will.”

Dana and Atheist - both pretty funny, I thought.  Atheist ran on a bit too long, but pretty good.

I like the Burress reference too.

OK, my (too few) readers are having some fun with the snarky obituaries, and I think that the Pandagonistae might enjoy a “Write your own snarky obituary” contest; I think Amanda ought to start that thread.

Wow Dana...even though YOU act like it’s in jest, your comment about your imaginary self trying to assassinate the President is REALLY FOUL.

Dana:

Your inability to understand liberal thought is breathtaking, but not so much as your overly transparent domination fantasies.

Dana FTW, except for the unpleasantly graphic, “He bled to death on a Pennsylvania Avenue sidewalk.”
For a humorous obituary, death should come either instantly or pleasantly:
“Contrary to earlier reports, Mr. Pico died of autoerotic asphyxiation.”
“The bullets shoot off Mr. Pico’s buttocks; he died instantly.”
etc.
Congratulations on surprising us (or at least me).