That is awesome, except that some Fundies will complain that they describe the book as “Revelations” instead of “Revelation”.

That is awesome, except that some Fundies will complain that they describe the book as “Revelations” instead of “Revelation”.

Doubtful, they all do the same thing.

Interesting that the image also depicts the Mark of the Beast on a left hand.  Admit it, you guys are in on the whole End of Days thing.

They’ll never make me use one of these scanner things, as I might be discovered to be the Anti-Cyst and then everyone would be ruptured.

And this, dear friends, is why stupid people shouldn’t be allowed to have jobs.

No WAY!!

It is properly called “The Revelation of John the Divine”, and BTW there is no evidence to suggest that “John the Divine” was the same person as either the First Century John the Apostle or the 2nd-Century author of the Gospel of John.

What do you mean “no evidence”?  It says it, and I believe it!    ;}

That whole thing is just… stunning.

And now - because I’ve always thought this was funny and a woman at work made us take this off the fridge because it was blesphemous - the Numbers of the Beast:

A Collection of Numbers of the Beast
 

666         Number of the beast
668         Neighbor of the beast
660         Approximate number of the beast
DCLXVI       Roman numeral of the beast
666.0000     Number of the high-precision beast
0.666       Number of the millibeast
1/666       Common denominator of the beast
666[-/(-1)]    Imaginary number of the beast
1010011010     Binary number of the beast
29A         Hexidecimal number of the beast
-666         Negative number of the beast
00666       Zip code of the beast
$665.95       Retail price of the beast
$699.25       Price of the beast plus 5% state sales tax
$769.95       Price of the beast with all accessories and replacements
$656.66       Wal-Mart price of the beast
$646.66       Next week’s Wal-Mart price of the beast
$333.00       After-Christmas sale price of the beast
$222.00       Going-out of business liquidation price of the beast
Phillips 666   Gasoline of the beast
Route 666     Way of the beast
665         Older brother of the beast
667         Younger brother of the beast
666 UP       Soft drink of the beast
666lb cap     Weight limit of the beast
666 F       Oven temperature for cooking roast “beast”
666k         Retirement plan of the beast
666 mg       Recommended minimum daily requirement of the beast
6.66%        5-year CD rate at First Beast of Hell, $666 minimum deposit
20/666       Vision of the beast
1-800-666-6666 Toll-free number of the beast  
999         Australian number of the beast
6"X 6"X 6”    Lumber of the beast
66.6 GHZ     Computer processor of the beast
666i         BMW of the beast
666-66-6666   Social security number of the beast
6/6/66       Birth date of the beast
666.AC.com     URL of the beast  
IAM 666       License plate number of the beast
Formula 666   All-purpose cleaner of the beast
666 calories   Diet of the beast
969         Dyslexic number of the beast
WD-666       Spray lubricant of the beast
66.6 MHz     FM radio station of the beast
666 KHz       AM radio station of the beast
Chanel No. 666 The beast’s favorite perfume
666%        What the beast gives in his game

because it was blesphemous

Or “blasphemous” for those of you literates…

My hand clearly has the mark of the beast.

You see, my cat, who I do love and adore dearly, becomes an aggressive biting maniac for 1-2 hours per day (don’t blame me, he was this way when I got him at 11 months, and hasn’t changed). Well, between the biting, the clawing, the scratching, and the gnawing, he has marked my hand up pretty good on several occasions. Since he is clearly an untame kitty fanatic, I see nothing wrong with ordaining him with official beastly status. From there, it is only logical to conclude that the marks upon my hand are, indeed, the mark of the beast.

some Fundies will complain that they describe the book as “Revelations” instead of “Revelation”.

I’ve seen so many good Quiz Bowl buzzes shot down because of this very mistake. It is a tragedy, an unadulterated tragedy.

“...some people have a particular concern…”

I believe that word is spelled “peculiar”. As to Revelation, I prefer to use its Greek name: the Apocalypse of John.

Same here, Lauren O. *attaches to fellow Quizbowler*

We also have a v. tough local moderator who’s pedantic on Britain vs. Great Britain vs. UK vs. England. So we got really used to being particular, and when we were at Nationals and another team got it wrong, we protested because a. it was a close match, b. they were wrong, and c. they’re from our area and should have known better. The High Judge of NAC Quizbowl said we were being too pedantic. ;P

Tangent, sorry.

Imagine owning a business and installing a hand-scanner system, only to find out that a significant portion of your employees fear and hate the scanner because of the Bible.  I’m thinking you would start to worry about your company’s future right about then.

I don’t get it - what does chemical engineering with ceramics have to do with beasts?

i66686 - Intel processor of the Beast

6.66 L -displacement of the beast

Chemical engineering in biotech—now, that does have to do with the Beast.  Monoclonal antibody production—looking for 6.66 x 10^6 cell density at harvest. 

Woot!  I knew my job would be relevant to something someday!

Don’t they realize that, if we’re already at the End Times and the Mark is being placed upon us, that they weren’t the Chosen, they weren’t raptured, and they’re going to hell with the rest of us?

We will all fry together when we fry
We’ll be french-fried potatoes by and by
There will be no more misery
When the world is our rotisserie
&c;

8 or 3 are definitely better.

And here I thought we were all already marked via government “vaccination.”

Those hand scanners are awesome. They make payroll easier and they solve the problem of people punching their coworkers in/out for them.

When we had one installed the guy carefully explained that the machine was storing a 3 dimensional image of your hand, and NOT your fingerprints and it had a lot of security in case it was stolen. I don’t understand why people asked about that. So what if it had my fingerprints? How could someone harm me because they had a set of my prints? I don’t wear gloves 24/7 so I leave them lots of places. It was really silly to me.

‘Cause 6 is not a pretty number, Neil. 

“Don’t they realize that, if we’re already at the End Times and the Mark is being placed upon us, that they weren’t the Chosen, they weren’t raptured, and they’re going to hell with the rest of us?”

I vote for bad Jim as the thread winner.

I was thinking about things yesterday, both deep and wide.

There is no almighty figure protecting this planet. It’s purely the odds and the immense space. There is no almighty figure that will save humanity from killing itself or killing this planet. There is nothing after we die except not living. All this bible and god stuff was invented by people that sought control over others and that control resulted in an evolutionary change in some human brain capacity which troubles us to this day. We were put on this planet due to the meeting of egg and sperm, we have no other purpose on this planet than to die. We decide how we interact with others and how we want to be treated. My philosophy is that we are put on this planet to help others achieve what they want out of their lives and to experience all that we feel that we need to during ours.

In a thread on a political sight nearly eight years ago I said that humans are here to “eat, drink, sleep, shit, piss, fuck and die”. It’s as simple as that. Everything else you do between those actions is just filler…

You have to admit that religion as a form of population control was a genius stroke. Look how long it’s worked. Look who needs it the most. Look who exploits those that truly believe it…

damn spell checker… Sight = site…

Oh, and on that site I was instantly labeled a Nihilist and some people would never comment on my posts again. It really was comical.

I sometimes wonder if there is a being that put us on this planet, why would it do that?

Are we to experience things so that this being can vicariously experience it through us? That’s creepy. I’d think that if there were such a being, he/she/it would have way more things to do than monitor me and my fumbling through life.

Still, all the things that I’ve experienced… Eating snails, pizza, sex, pain, embarrassment, envy, hatred, love, jealousy, rage, peace, sadness, joy… It’s been a lovely cruise…

There used to be a lady at the subway stop near the University of Toronto who handed out missives about the microchips they put in pets, and how the government was going to start putting them in people, and it was actually the MARK OF CAIN! It was all very long and complicated, on 8 1/2x14, with drawings. Possibly handwritten, or typescript.

This may be a version of that missive: http://www.triumphpro.com/mark-of-the-beast.htm

It’s a good thing fundies are (sort of) biblical literalists, or they totally wouldn’t fall for the left-hand ruse. We got ‘em now.

Here’s a rather long post I wrote on the RFID / Mark o’ the Beast nuttiness.

If you look at the date on the letter, this was 10 years ago. This company is now, if not previously, based in California. I bet shit like this happens to them all. the. time, all over the place.

WHILE i=666 DO END - Inifinite loop of the beast.

Math!  You made math jokes! Math = science = thinking and logic = BLASPHEMY!

3.1416666666 Pi of the Beast

missives about the microchips they put in pets, and how the government was going to start putting them in people

Actually, wealthy people in <strike>third world poverty cesspits</strike> some emerging and developing countries have started putting them in themselves and children so they can be found if they are kidnapped by certain members of the society they so heavily profit from.

Maybe they are all secretly afraid that the technology is combined with seminal fluid detection equipment, and their hands will be like blue dresses.

I can’t believe no one mentioned this one:

vi, vi, vi: The text editor of the Beast

(and it seriously is, too. Whoever came up with that program *must* have been from Hell. )

There used to be a lady at the subway stop near the University of Toronto who handed out missives about the microchips they put in pets, and how the government was going to start putting them in people, and it was actually the MARK OF CAIN!

==================

*cough*

That would be the mark of the canine, if you please.

With kind regards,
Dog, etc.
papertrained!

Man, if it were me, I’d have said “Yes, it is the Mark of the Beast. Either accept it or quit your job. BWUHAHAHAHA!”

I guess this is why they don’t let me speak to the customers much…

Ok, I was raised in a fundy household with a steady diet of Hal Lindsay, but I don’t understand how people could think this was the mark of the beast unless the company was stamping a tattoo on your hand or inserting a microchip. Just having you wave your hand in front of a scanner? Eh.

“Actually, wealthy people in <strike>third world poverty cesspits</strike> some emerging and developing countries have started putting them in themselves and children so they can be found if they are kidnapped by certain members of the society they so heavily profit from.”

But the RFID chips you put in pets don’t work like that.  They help get your pet back to you if they go missing and then turn up at a vet’s office or humane society; you can’t actually track your pet with them if they get loose.  It sounds like what you’re talking about is more akin to what’s in cell phones or those GPS trackers you can get for cars.

You’re one microscopic cog
in his catastrophic plan
Designed and directed by
his red right hand

Can we make up some Discoball belief about not scanning one’s primary masturbation hand?

On the other hand, wouldn’t the anti-christ offer some sort of false out, like turning the left hand palm up so it becomes the right? 

Just when I thought the fundie right had ceased to amuse me too.

In a thread on a political sight nearly eight years ago I said that humans are here to “eat, drink, sleep, shit, piss, fuck and die”. It’s as simple as that. Everything else you do between those actions is just filler…

That other site that said you were nihilistic?  Banal and boring is more like it.  Out of the seven things you list, only one is optional for life.  IOW, those are all foundational activities.  “Everything else you do” isn’t filler, jackass: everything else you do is THE POINT.

Bored now.  Go and type no more.

So what if it had my fingerprints? How could someone harm me because they had a set of my prints?

You might be concerned if there were a warrant for your arrest and you were hiding from the authorities.

“Everything else you do” isn’t filler, jackass: everything else you do is THE POINT.

Depends how much you like to poop.

You’re not a nihilist pinky, just badly educated enough to entertain an adolescent conceit long past the appropriate time.

Certainly religion can, has, and does function as a means of social control.

But it can and has been other things as well.

It depends on your theology.

In mine, God gives leaves the state of the world up to us. However we got here—and evolution seems to be the only account that stands up to reason, whatever challenges it poses to belief—we got here gifted with free choice, intelligence, and dignity—and serious responsibility.

And part of that freedom is the freedom to piss that all away. And to misunderstand the Divine as some angry sky daddy—as you and so many Pandagonites assume is the only way to understand God.

In that, you have a lot in common with the fundies. Bad, infantile theology and anti-theology all around.

oh yeah, and the beastly numbers are hilarious.

have thought for a long time that the John the Revelator was a serious head-case, and his fever dream book ought to be dropped from the Christian canon

Bad, infantile theology and anti-theology all around.

Oh, come on, Waspie. What’s so mature about your “theology”? It’s just a complicated, absurd self-justification for doing whatever it is you want to do.

I mean what’s the point of God in your theology? Why does God exist? Where’s the need for God to exist if you and your reason evolved from single-celled creatures that themselves evolved from simpler chemical precursors?

I don’t see anything less infantile about your theology. The fact that your sky daddy doesn’t grant wishes doesn’t make belief in him any less absurd. The fact that you can reconcile it with science only means that you’ve gutted it of everything of substance, everything that could possibly be wrong about it. How is that any more mature than a fairy tale?

Where does this idea that a murky, undefined, inconsistent New-Agey pan-spiritualism constitutes “mature” theology come from? Anybody can see that the reverse is true - it’s the theology of fundamentalists that represents maturity; yours is just an infantile daydream.

Here’s some info that may help to explain some questions in previous comments and add some new ones:

We asked the company for something that would ease the minds of some workers who were afraid it was going to transmit data to the government.  I’m in Oregon.  We have more than our fair share of Art Bell-listening, conspiracy theorists.  It’s just the way it is here.

In response, Recognition Systems, Inc. sent us a binder full of info.  Up at the front, we found the Disclaimer of the Beast.  As it turned out, the Disclaimer of the Beast was really helpful.  Just not for the reason you’d think.  We had a couple of guys with right hands too small & mangled for the scanner to recognize.  Fortunately, the instructions for escaping detection or placement of the Mark of the Beast worked wonderfully.

As for me, I’ve got the hard copy and I’m going to frame it and put it on my wall at home.

The things that strike me about the Disclaimer of the Beast are…

1)  How many complaints/inquiries did they get before they felt it necessary to write the Disclaimer of the Beast?  1?  50?  200?
2)  Based on the phrasing of the letter, it seems likely that someone was afraid to find out that they have the Mark of the Beast on their hand.
3)  If it was my company and somebody refused to use it for Mark of the Beasty reasons, I’d say, “You think I’m the anti-christ or in league with the anti-christ?  Fine.  Find yourself another hourly job.”
4) Does their recent absorption into Ingersoll-Rand make them RSI more or less trustworthy?  Ingersoll-Rand is a scary, scary end of days type of name.

...so Hell Boy is really the Antichrist?  I though he was one of the good guys…

No, it means that Nick Cave is to the Antichrist as John the Baptist was to Jesus.

6.66 x10^23:  The number of the Avocado Beast

How could someone harm me because they had a set of my prints?

Simplest way:  It lets people identify if you’ve touched something.  There are conceivable situations where you wouldn’t want that information available to them.

Slightly more complicated:  It allows fabrication of a fake hand that can be used with other biometric scanners.  Look for biometric security coming to a store near you.  Shortly thereafter look for high quality fakes to become available that fool the biometric devices.  Tangentially, I’m betting that it will be less than a decade after widespread deployment of biometric payment systems before someone has a body part cut off in order to use it to make a purchase.

More complicated way:  It allows them to fabricate fake prints which can be used to frame you.

When people are looking to collect information about you it should be up to them to prove both that the information is needed and that safeguards are in place to prevent its abuse.  It’s not a matter of you having to come up with some plausible scenario where you could be harmed.  Other people simply do not have the right to make those intrusions on your privacy, and surrendering casually to those intrusions is foolish.  People can be and are harmed by abuse of information about them that they freely gave away.  It happens regularly with credit card fraud that people have unwittingly revealed the answers to security question on facebook, for example.

Maybe they are all secretly afraid that the technology is combined with seminal fluid detection equipment, and their hands will be like blue dresses.

Hey, don’t even joke about that, ok?

And part of that freedom is the freedom to piss that all away. And to misunderstand the Divine as some angry sky daddy—as you and so many Pandagonites assume is the only way to understand God.

Wow, you understand a deity’s motives?  Correctly?  Are you sure?

That’s some skill right there.

What togolosh said.

And I’ll venture that the only reason we don’t have the visceral fear of someone acting unethically with our biometric data is because it’s still too expensive to be substituted for other forms of ID more common in the country.  It just stands to reason that the more frequently they’re used, the more likely the chance of misuse.

When I first got licensed by NASD, my company’s compliance officer had to take my fingerprints so that if I ever skipped the country or was being investigated for some sort of fraud, the organization (an SRO) had some means of protecting itself by more easily identifying me.  It was a totally legit reason to get bonded.  That was years ago.  But then I was in Orlando in March, and I had to give Disney World my fingerprints just to get into the theme park.  Disturbing.  In a time when private companies are acting as intermediaries for the federal government, it takes on a whole new meaning.  If AT&T;and Sprint can monitor my phone convo on behalf of the Bush Admin, I fail to see why a private employer couldn’t be forced (or willingly give over) digital copies of my fingerprints.

999:  Beast after too much tequila.

Anybody have any experience getting you name off the No Fly list?

My elder son and husband have common names and it is getting to be a total pain in the ass!

If I were suspected of committing a crime, couldn’t the police just get a warrant to search the cubicle at my office and find some prints there? It would be a little faster to go to the print scanner sure, but I don’t see how it’s secure information when it’s something I leave on every thing I touch.

Could someone frame me? Well I’m already screwed then because my parents were looking to adopt a foster child and in my state before that can be done every person in the household over age 13 has to be printed and get a background check so the government already has my prints on file.

But again, if my employer wanted to frame me they could just take my mouse or my can of sprite and get the prints from there if they so desired.

Or should we all just get some tinfoil finger cots to match our hats?

A more obvious and immediate problem re: stolen fingerprints is that someone inside the company uses them to inappropriately log in/out of the scanner and gets the real owner of said prints fired.

Also, I don’t believe in the Number of the Beast, but I fully expect RFID-chip implanting to become mandatory within ten years, if not in the US than some other country.

“Beverly Hills, 90666” (a.k.a. “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”) : TV series of the Beast

Oh, come on, Waspie. What’s so mature about your “theology”? It’s just a complicated, absurd self-justification for doing whatever it is you want to do.

I mean what’s the point of God in your theology? Why does God exist? Where’s the need for God to exist if you and your reason evolved from single-celled creatures that themselves evolved from simpler chemical precursors?

I don’t see anything less infantile about your theology. The fact that your sky daddy doesn’t grant wishes doesn’t make belief in him any less absurd. The fact that you can reconcile it with science only means that you’ve gutted it of everything of substance, everything that could possibly be wrong about it. How is that any more mature than a fairy tale?

Where does this idea that a murky, undefined, inconsistent New-Agey pan-spiritualism constitutes “mature” theology come from? Anybody can see that the reverse is true - it’s the theology of fundamentalists that represents maturity; yours is just an infantile daydream.

I find this kind of comment painfully ironic placed, as it is, only a few posts above the “why can’t Wiccans/Pagans/Heathens understand that Loving Atheists are the best defense against the Hateful Christians?”

Thankfully, 100% of the atheists I’ve met in Real Life have failed to exhibit this level of bombastic bigotry.

“Thankfully, 100% of the atheists I’ve met in Real Life have failed to exhibit this level of bombastic bigotry.”

To be fair, wapsie came across as fairly condescending and dismissive as well. If someone is going to dismiss large swaths of theology (those with judgmental interventionist god(s)) it seems incumbent upon them to articulate why their theology is superior to those they are calling “infantile”.

Brandon, I’m not sure why it’s necessary to explain why a judgmental god is less mature and desireable than a NON-judgmental god on a site that values, well, non-judgmental-ness.

The fact that you can reconcile it with science only means that you’ve gutted it of everything of substance, everything that could possibly be wrong about it. How is that any more mature than a fairy tale?...Anybody can see that the reverse is true - it’s the theology of fundamentalists that represents maturity; yours is just an infantile daydream.

I cannot help but wonder if Chet’s REAL problem is that moderate views are more difficult to effectively mock and malign than radical views.

Or, shorter: Be more intolerant so I can look like I’m righteous when I mock you (instead of just intolerant of other worldviews)!

When I was in third grade, I would get these mysterious marks on the palm of my right hand while sitting in class.  The mark was oily and would wipe off quickly, thankfully.  The mark was circular, and I was sure it had some type of writing in it, kind of like a postal cancellation stamp.  Freaked me out.

I think I finally figured out that the mark was from some fastener on the underside of the desktop.  I’m still not sure where the writing came from.  At any rate, I wasn’t too scared of the beast because the mark just wiped off.

Faye, oh, certainly a less judgmental god is more desirable, but I’m not sure how believing in a god that doesn’t happen to be a decent being in your own value system is less “mature”.

I mean if someone believes that god is something that actually exists apart from themselves, and not just a projection of their own desires and moral beliefs, why should it happen to have attributes that are personally preferable to them?

Thankfully, 100% of the atheists I’ve met in Real Life have failed to exhibit this level of bombastic bigotry.

Ellen pipes in with the typical arrogance of the theist, I see.

I mean, Waspie pops in to say “oh, your beliefs are so ridiculous and immature; mine are so much better”, and my response is basically “no they’re not”, and I’m the bigot? How does that work?

Oh, right. I’m the atheist, and my lips are moving. Ergo, I’m an intolerant militant.

Brandon, I’m not sure why it’s necessary to explain why a judgmental god is less mature and desireable than a NON-judgmental god on a site that values, well, non-judgmental-ness.

It’s necessary if you’d like us to believe that it’s true. For my own part I see nothing mature in the idea that the being in a position to be the ultimate arbiter of morality in the universe wants you to do whatever you feel like doing. If we were children and God were that kind of parent - the parent who lets their kid stay out all night, drink and smoke, and get into all kinds of dangerous trouble, since they just wanted them to “be happy” - we’d rightly decry them as too immature to be a parent.

So where’s the maturity in a God like that? I don’t see it. The judgmental God is the mature theology; the non-judgmental, non-interventionist God is the God you get when you don’t want to think about it too hard and certainly don’t want your faith to get in the way.

I cannot help but wonder if Chet’s REAL problem is that moderate views are more difficult to effectively mock and malign than radical views.

I was apparently able to mock Waspie’s views enough to be called an intolerant bigot, so no, that doesn’t seem to be my problem.

My problem is that Waspie, you, and Ellen have essentially reversed the meaning of “maturity.”

Besides - where on Earth did you get the idea that Pandagon.net was a site about not judging? Do you even read the posts, here?

Okay, am I the only non-fundie person who is still creeped out at the thought of a body part as a daily ID card?  I would totally refuse to do this, thank you very much.