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Next entry: Bad At Feminism Previous entry: Durrrrr

Roses Really Smell Like Boo-Boo

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Michelle Malkin is pissed because Barack Obama tossed his rose on a pile of roses rather than laying it down John McCain was a POW. 

What?  Sorry. 

See, the proper way to handle placing a rose on a big pile of roses is to place it in a somber fashion at the base of the pile of roses, rather than gently tossing it in somber fashion onto the pile of roses already there, which in no way actually explains how the other roses got in the big pile in the middle.  My guess is God did it.

There’s reason to be glad here - we must reach across party lines and respect what basic psychology and utter crazy conservative desperation teaches us were the final thoughts of the victims of 9/11, in the following order:

1.) “Oh, my God, I’m going to die.  I hope my family knows I love them.”

2.) “Don’t throw the goddamn roses on our public memorial.  That’s just classless.  Place them like a gentleman or lady would.  Also, before you place the roses, make sure you cut the stems diagonally and place them in nutrient water before you bring them, because the roses should appear healthy and full.  Preferably, we’d also like a full range of colors from yellow and white to pink and red, distributed roughly equally so as to give the appearance of diversity coupled with solidarity.  I don’t know why my thoughts always turn to roses in times of crisis…but it’s comforting.”

3.) “I hope we bomb the fuck out of Iraq.  I really do.”

 

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Posted by Jesse Taylor on 09:13 AM • (30) Comments

Is she serious?  How one puts a rose on a pile says something about the ability to lead?  Really?  Or does it just say something about the fact that McSame can’t toss anything anymore because his arms are all effed up from POW! and if he tries to toss something, he will come off looking like an inept loser just like Bush did with that first ball toss?

Doesn’t that embarrassing ball toss say something about inability to lead then?  Sheesh.

Comment #1: speedbudget  on  09/12  at  09:44 AM

OMG- check this out:
http://thesuperficial.com/2008/09/anne_hathaway_raffaello_follie.php

Photos of McCain getting on a yacht to hang w/Raphael Follieri and Anne Hathaway.  You know- the guy that just plead guilty to defrauding the VATICAN?  And his movie star girlfriend, who just got all her jewelry confiscated by the FBI?  Yeah….

And yes, I know this site is stupid and sexist, but they kind of lay that right out there for you.  It is called “the superficial- because you’re ugly”, and the superficial writer is totally just that.

Comment #2: thegoddessmelissa  on  09/12  at  09:50 AM

I saw this live yesterday - and I *knew* someone would pick up on that. Yes, it’s trivial as hell, but Senator Obama has got to start thinking like the Republicans and not do shit they *can* pick up on. He needs to remember who he is up against and how they twist things and not give them anything to work with.

Comment #3: broce  on  09/12  at  09:57 AM

Obama should collect these unhinged Reichwing reactions to him and mock them in a serious of ads that contrast their fake concern about trivia against the real issues they ignore…

BTW, since Malkin is so deeply concerned with eticatte

Comment #4: MikeEss  on  09/12  at  10:01 AM

Agh, it submitted before I was ready!...

What I was trying to say is:

If Malkin is so concerned about proper etiquette, maybe she shouldn’t be so rude as to suggest that large swaths of Americans and people living in America should be rounded up and sent to concentration camps because their skin is the “wrong” color or because they worship the “wrong” god.  That seems like a pretty big violation of etiquette to me…

Comment #5: MikeEss  on  09/12  at  10:06 AM

You mean, it could be symbolic of being willing to pay for rape kits in a criminal investigation?

Comment #6: Ms Kate  on  09/12  at  10:12 AM

I saw this live yesterday - and I *knew* someone would pick up on that. Yes, it’s trivial as hell, but Senator Obama has got to start thinking like the Republicans and not do shit they *can* pick up on. He needs to remember who he is up against and how they twist things and not give them anything to work with.

Sorry, but that’s no way to run a campaign. You can’t let them set the rules of engagement, because if you do, you’ll be forever reacting instead of causing the reaction. Let them keep screaming about this shit—then we ock them for being so falsely sensitive over shit that doesn’t matter.

Comment #7: Incertus, Nacho Daddy  on  09/12  at  10:17 AM

Malkin says something stupid.  Sun rises in east.  Film at eleven.

Comment #8: Doug H. (Fausto no more)  on  09/12  at  10:25 AM

Senator Obama has got to start thinking like the Republicans and not do shit they *can* pick up on.

So he should… what?  Simply cease to exist?  Become a recluse?  Jump into the LHC?  O would diving off a bridge be the more “appropriate” option?  Is that too flashy?

There is NOTHING Obama can do to avoid outrageous attacks fro people like Malkin.  NOTHING.  Even dropping out of the race or suspending his campaign or conceding to the Republicans on October 10 would have some dire implication in their eyes. 

Honestly, I think dems should just stop worrying about this stuff and assume it’s going to happen no matter what they do.

Comment #9: The Opoponax  on  09/12  at  10:40 AM

Certainly it’s nigh well imbecilic to focus on such minutiae when the larger issues go begging in the election. But having just viewed a snippet of the video, B.H.O. does appear a tad cavalier in his carriage at ground zero. Mostly, it seems he just wants to outthrow McCain, get his flower higher on the stack. I guess that’s an admirable quality ...

Comment #10: Sugar Ray Republican  on  09/12  at  10:50 AM

Oh yes, and Miss Manners has a published manual for throwing roses on a pile and Obama didn’t read it.

Sure.

Malkin should watch her manners - but I guess it is difficult to single out any one thing she has done because she shits all over and defiles everything truly important or sacred.

Comment #11: Ms Kate  on  09/12  at  10:54 AM

I noticed, watching this event live, that John McCain didn’t wear a flag label pin. He didn’t wear one for his nomination acceptance speech, either.

Why does John McCain hate America?

Comment #12: Andy  on  09/12  at  10:59 AM

It’s a telling cultural and generational distinction between these two men vying to be commander-in-chief of our nation

Comment #13: Courtney  on  09/12  at  11:17 AM

Damn it, it published too soon. Anyway, that’s a quote from the article. And the translation is: “Obama is black! And young! And we all know how young black folk are ruining our country.” That is all.

Comment #14: Courtney  on  09/12  at  11:19 AM

“Certainly it’s nigh well imbecilic to focus on such minutiae when the larger issues go begging in the election. But having just viewed a snippet of the video, B.H.O. does appear a tad cavalier in his carriage at ground zero. Mostly, it seems he just wants to outthrow McCain, get his flower higher on the stack. I guess that’s an admirable quality ...”

Shorter Sugar Ray Republican: “I want to appear reasonable so my Concern Troll act will work better.  I’m sure those dirty Fucking Hippies at Pandagon will be fooled…”

Comment #15: MikeEss  on  09/12  at  11:40 AM

Certainly it’s nigh well imbecilic to focus on such minutiae when the larger issues go begging in the election.

And yet you’re going to insist on doing it anyway.

Comment #16: Mnemosyne  on  09/12  at  11:53 AM

Mnemosyne, SRR is just deeply concerned over how other people (not him of course) might perceive the way Obama disrespected the other symbolic roses and the way he abused his own symbolic rose as indicating that Obama is full of disrespect for those Americans who died on 9/11.  Or something that somehow increases McCain’s chances of getting elected/selected so he can “depart” and let Sarah Barracuda Caribou Barbie Palin bring this country back to righteousness and kleptocracy and Nuclear War the way God intended it to be…

Comment #17: MikeEss  on  09/12  at  12:06 PM

He needs to remember who he is up against and how they twist things and not give them anything to work with.

Yes, exactly. They’ll twist anything he does, no matter how little he gives them to work with.

If he’d laid his rose down exactly the way McCain did, they’d say he was a copycat and not fit to lead.

If he’d laid his rose down while McCain tossed his, they’d say he was faking his reverence and was not fit to lead.

If they’d both tossed their roses, they’d say Obama didn’t toss his with enough patriotism and was not fit to lead.

If he’d laid his rose down while McCain dropped his pants and dropped a colossal turd in front of everyone, Malkin would complain that Obama was trying to look too aloof by not showing off his vital poop-making prowess.

Anyone who tries to keep from offending Malkin and her hordes should remember that they only thing they can do well is act offended.

Comment #18: Scott  on  09/12  at  12:12 PM

For a second there I thought Jesse was quoting Michelle Obama and not Michelle Malkin and I was all WTF, why would Michelle Obama do something so out of character?

It makes me happy that Ms. Obama has now replaced Ms. Malkin as the first political person I think of when I hear the name Michelle. Woohoo!

Comment #19: Nenya  on  09/12  at  12:20 PM

Not that it matters but…

Michelle Malkin is pissed because Barack Obama tossed his rose on a pile of roses rather than laying it down

huh…you know, at the funerals I’ve seen, family members and close friends usually do the “lay the flower down” thing, often because they need more time to say goodbye or compose themselves or whatever. More distant friends tend to toss the flower gently and move on.

From my perspective, “laying the flower down” at a public memorial would be pretty presumptuous unless you personally knew at least one of the victims.*

I just love how the right wing has no problem pontificating how candidates are supposed to should think and feel and behave, down to the tiniest detail, even when it makes no sense or doesn’t fit “the American people’s” experience.

*I think the “laying of the wreath” is a completely different animal, because a) you can’t throw wreaths and b) the person laying the wreath is often representating a community or a country, so taking extra time to be “ceremonious” is more appropriate.

Comment #20: Dorothy  on  09/12  at  01:11 PM

My favorite part: to cover up the fact that New York’s own Mayor Blumberg did the *exact same gesture*, she simply paints him as the “clueless NYC mayor” who followed Barack’s lead.

Kudos, MM.  Way to appeal to your readers’ anti-New York sentiments in the midst of demanding respect for the city’s dead. (slow clap)

Comment #21: Nicole  on  09/12  at  01:12 PM

When those planes hit the towers I knew it would change the way we tossed roses forever. How come Barack Obama didn’t? Unfit to lead.

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

Comment #22: Matthew  on  09/12  at  01:14 PM

(Grrrr, “Bloomberg” not Blumberg.  I’m having a bad day.)

Comment #23: Nicole  on  09/12  at  01:19 PM

Jews often put a shovelful of dirt onto the casket as it is being lowered into the crowd.  It looks rather cavalier to the observer as it just looks as though they are throwing dirt onto their loved one’s grave without any reverence.  Malkin would have a field day with that, wouldn’t she?

Comment #24: thatzagirl  on  09/12  at  01:29 PM

McCain probably doesn’t have the physical ability to toss the flower given the limited movement of his arms.  He’s an older man and it makes much more sense that he would be more contained and measured with his physical movements.  Both of them were entirely appropriate at the service—why the hell wouldn’t they be?  No reason to believe that both of them love America and both of them want to serve their country in the way they know best.  I don’t support McCain on the ISSUES but that has nothing to do with anything.  This is truly a new low tempest-in-a-flowerpot.

Comment #25: thatzagirl  on  09/12  at  01:33 PM

I watched the ceremony live while at home sick yesterday.  I said to myself, “Self, someone is going to make a big deal out of the rose tossing thing.” Then, I said, “Naah, they’re stupid but they aren’t that stupid.” Wrong again!

I am enjoying the fact that a few (not a lot, not most, but a few) of Malkin’s own admirers are calling her out for being completely ridiculous.  Not to mention the fact that she falsely claimed that Obama failed to speak to several of the police/firefighters standing there; her readers pointed out to her that Obama had greeted them and then simply had to wait while McCain finished making the rounds.

Comment #26: Margaret  on  09/12  at  01:35 PM

My god, I forced myself to read the comments over there, and the stupid burns.

Putting aside the idiots who claim that this proves Obama is a Muslim, I am absolutely terrified by the people who claim that McCain’s “more presidential bearing” make him better suited to be our president than Obama.

That is, potentially, the least educated statement I have ever heard. Are we back in the days of Louis and Marie and, well, yeah, they can’t govern, they can’t budget, they don’t care about the plight of the people, but they just LOOK so gosh darn regal and royal and that’s really all that matters, right?

I really don’t give a damn about the “presidential bearing” of the candidates - my president can eat with his hands and wipe them on his coat jacket for all I care, as long as he’s got a good brain, a humble willingness to listen to others, and a realization that his actions affect others, for years to come, and the sincerity to try to do the right thing for all those he affects.

Comment #27: Faye  on  09/12  at  02:16 PM

Malkin’s comment about Bloomberg seemed wildly antisemitic to me—either Malkin thinks Jews are unable to think for themselves or she thinks that the way Jews ritually mourn their dead is offensive and should be mocked.  Or probably both.  If Malkin does not immediately refute my point, it’s proof that the charge is irrefutably true.

There is an interesting concession there, though.  The multibillionaire businessman and mayor of the largest city in the United States clearly thought Obama, not McCain, was the leader.  Obama was CEO and mayor of Mike Bloomberg—America’s mayor, the mayor of the town where the terrorists last spoke on American soil.  Clearly that proves he has the executive experience to be president, and also the experience to 9/11 so shut up.

Though it should be noted by Palin’s Theorem—adjacency means experience dealing with (I live next to Trader Joe’s, which is why I know so much about trade issues)—McCain got the same leadership experience standing in rough proximity to Obama.

Comment #28: liminalist  on  09/12  at  02:19 PM

wow, people are actually taking sugar ray republican seriously? that’s not a concern troll, that’s a parody.

Comment #29: chibi  on  09/12  at  02:32 PM

There is NOTHING Obama can do to avoid outrageous attacks fro people like Malkin.  NOTHING.

It’s like abuse victims who think that if they just do everything perfectly, their abusers won’t find an excuse to brutalize them.

Wrong.  Abusers will find any excuse.  In the context of a relationship, you need to just leave and/or go to the authorities.  In politics, you need to fight back.

Comment #30: keshmeshi  on  09/12  at  05:36 PM
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