illegal in 48 states.

That’s adorable. 

Seriously, I love that the wingnuts don’t know the difference between a state not proactively allowing for gay marriage and a state criminalizing gay marriage.

thanks for the heads-up, jesse.  i just sent them a lovely amended e-mail, and i’ll totally go in on sending a few cards to AFA with you, nacho daddy.

Pseudo-bluenose stunters should collect all the cards that might possibly offend someone and present themselves as offended.

E.g. “These cards promote the eating of birthday cake, thus promote high consumption of simple carbohydrates, obesity, and ill-health! What’s more, they are aimed at children!”

Of course, now that parents are routinely forbidden to bring birthday cupcakes to schools, this reaction might not appear parodic.

Here’s what I wrote in the AFA letter form:

Dear Chairman Hall:

I am delighted that Hallmark now sells cards that celebrate marriages and unions not limited to man/woman. It’ll be great not to have to buy a blank card when the same-sex couples I know get married or have commitment ceremonies.

Feel free to copy and paste, folks.

Remind me to cancel my AFA e-mail subscription when they start sending me crap, though.

Do the messages automatically go to Hallmark through the form, or is there some chance the AFA can weed out the ones it doesn’t like? Will my time be better spent sending a personal message from my own email?

I think I can answer my own question as they don’t read it, as I am on an AFA mailing list for something I did in the past though I don’t remember what. I don’t know if it was a similar campaign or if I wrote an email directly to AFA telling them what assholes they are, but in my spam-catcher account I get some AFA update (which is why I gave that address and not my own) which tells me weekly how evil we queers are. But as I started to edit the AFA form, it occurred to me that they could have become more sophisticated.

Incertus,

I feel like true ratfuckery would involve buying tons of the cards and sending them to the AFA’s headquarters en masse.

Ratfucking isn’t just pissing people off, it’s creating and/or exploiting divisions amongst your enemies so that they tear each other apart.  The cards should appear to come from the RNC.  Or Focus on the Family.

Not that I’d ever encourage such a thing.

“Do the messages automatically go to Hallmark through the form, or is there some chance the AFA can weed out the ones it doesn’t like?”

Hopefully the former; generally automail campaigns aren’t that sophisticated.  Of course, if they are, I just wasted a couple minutes using AFA resources to let Hallmark know how awesome their same-sex union cards are.  Maybe I’ll send a second asking where the two wedding dresses card is.

Ratfucking isn’t just pissing people off, it’s creating and/or exploiting divisions amongst your enemies so that they tear each other apart.  The cards should appear to come from the RNC.  Or Focus on the Family.

“Gay marriage is immoral because the Pope said so.”

PiaToR, do evangelical fundies still get all het up about papists?  That would be pretty entertaining.

What I find amusing is that so many so-called progressives are fighting for the right to enter an archaic, outdated institution.  Marriage is an outdated contract form and should be abolished.

This actually brought to mind the phenomenon of period parties - celebrations of a girl’s first steps into adulthood, welcoming the responsibility and possibilities that are now open to her.

No offense, and I like your writing, but sometimes it sure is hard to forget you’re a boy. Is spending your allowance money on tampons a responsibility or a possibility?

Obviously psychos who hate menstruators and all their wicked disciples on earth are freaks to be shunned, I’m totally with you on that, but these cramp-celebrating parents are pretty weird too. Are they going to celebrate their son’s first wet dream too, congratulate him on his newfound potency and impregnatory power? I’m thinking no, because usually people consider male adulthood to be marked by more important things than the mere involuntary emission of fluid. They also don’t consider boys to be stepping into adulthood at eleven or twelve, for the very good reason that they aren’t.

my message:

Dear Chairman Hall:

I am pleased that Hallmark is acknowledging that those among us who love others of the same gender are not pariahs, but, instead, human beings worthy of the same happiness that is the birthright of all people.

Please ignore the no-doubt ignorant and hateful screeds that others have sent through this channel because they are incapable of recognizing the fact that they love the cock.

a local news item I saw once (unfortunately, I can’t remember anything else about it except that it was in a suburban subdivision), wherein such a party was being thrown and other households called the cops on them for public vulgarity.

Um…if you have a party on private propety, how is the “public vulgarity”? I’m missing something.

Is spending your allowance money on tampons a responsibility or a possibility?

Wow—your parents must have been real assholes to make you spend your allowance on hygiene products. Did they make you buy your own toilet paper and soap, too? That would suck.

Ratfuckery accomplished:

Dear Chairman Hall:

Keep on doing what you are doing.  I’ll be in the store tomorrow buying a Hallmark card or three; if there isn’t an occasion on my calendar, I’ll manufacture one.  Thanks again.

“Not that I’m suggesting any sort of ratfuckery…”

Sometimes the rat is totally asking for it.

“Is spending your allowance money on tampons a responsibility or a possibility?”

Seriously?  I never met nor heard of any girls having to purchase their tampons with their allowance money when I was in school.  That’s really pretty fucked up.  I imagine some girls now might have to use their allowances if they want something more unusual like the diva cup, but just old-fashioned tampons?

I sent Hallmark an e-mail saying that although I am not gay, I am totally in favor of gay marriages for those who want them.

Rock on Hallmark!!!

Obviously psychos who hate menstruators and all their wicked disciples on earth are freaks to be shunned, I’m totally with you on that, but these cramp-celebrating parents are pretty weird too.

Doing so has a pretty long history among various human civilizations, so it doesn’t bug me too much as long as they don’t spend all their time talking about the Moon Goddess blessing their daughter or something.  Obviously, back in the days when you wouldn’t get your first period until 16 or 17, it was a more logical time to induct a girl into adulthood, but even today’s girls are not that far off from the traditional bar/bat mitzvah age when they get their periods.

To Hallmark Canada:

Hello:

I just learned that your parent company in the United States is unrolling a new Hallmark card aimed at same-sex couples. I would like to congratulate you for recognizing that families come in many configurations, and for celebrating those differences through the production of a special card.

Please pass this message of support on to those responsible for what is no doubt a controversial decision.

Also, please let me know how I can order a few of these cards online.

I have no qualms whatsoever about sending a little greeting-card love to the AFA.

Jesse, fun though this idea is, part of the AFA’s strategy is to overload Hallmark’s e-mail system.  If Hallmark can’t cope with the volume of e-mails coming in, and if they get the idea this volume is going to keep coming in until they apologize and withdraw the line of cards, the AFA hopes that Hallmark will feel they have no choice but to withdraw.

That’s the strategy the AFA used to get Heinz to withdraw the ad of two men kissing from British TV, and - as far as I can tell - Heinz had long since given up on reading individual e-mails by the time they got round to responding to them. Certainly my e-mail, and another that someone else I know sent, which was positive about the ad and complained about their cancelling it, got a form response which apologized for running the ad.

I suspect the same will be the case with this. Pandagonian individual e-mails won’t be read - they’ll just be counted as part of the volume of e-mails from AFA which will be assumed to be all negative about Hallmark’s gay wedding cards. Not only is this post not accomplishing anything, it’s probably actually counter-productive.

If people actually want to let Hallmark know they like Hallmark’s gay wedding-card line, go buy a Hallmark card and send it to Donald J. Hall, Chairman, Hallmark Cards, 2501 McGee Trafficway, Kansas City, MO 64108. It’s much more likely to be read, and it’s much more likely to be interpreted as positive.

Jesurgislac: That’s why I sent mine to the general customer service e-mail for Hallmark, as opposed to the address of a specific individual. The multiple CSRs can field these comments a lot more easily than a single person can.

That’s what I did with my Heinz e-mail, and it didn’t make one bit of difference.

If you want to protest AFA’s strategy of overloading an offending company’s e-mail system, you should not take part in AFA’s protest. Which is what, regardless of where you send the e-mail, you are doing. (They’ll probably have set up a filter system at Hallmark by now to ensure that all e-mails referencing the new gay marriage line of greeting cards are going into one inbox…)

Thank you, Choochee.  And thank you Jesurgislac; I’m going to try your idea.

Dear Chairman Hall:
I’m writing to support your decision to print a line of cards congratulating same-sex couples on their marriages.  I know it’s just the free market at work, and I hope you make a bunch of money on them.  There’s value in letting organizations like the “American Family Association” [sic] know that despite their protests, the numbers and the future are on the side of marriage equality.  When businesses choose to recognize that reality, it isn’t a political issue; it’s just evidence that their political pressure can’t stop families in the real world from defining themselves on their own terms.

Thanks for sending one more e-mail that will be counted as part of OUR campaign because no one will get around to reading all the individual e-mails, professordarkheart.

One piece of physical snail mail has the impact of about 1000 pieces of email, because it’s well understood that it’s much harder to do than to send an email.

it also wouldn’t overload Hallmark’s server, and you can send it as a postcard or in an envelope labeled “YAY FOR SAME-SEX MARRIAGE CARDS—WAY TO GO, HALLMARK!”

Just saying.

Sorry about posting as the “American Family Association”. I’d have said so sooner, but the name is so slimy I had to shower.

Nevertheless: what Alara said.

I mailed a note last night to Chairman Hall, thanking him for the line of cards.

Also, when my daughters have their first period, we don’t throw a party. We do, however, go out to dinner, just girl and mom, and talk a lot.

All you period-and-puberty-celebrating people: please try to be a little gender aware.  If your child isn’t particularly happy with their sex and/or gender, the start of puberty is something they aren’t going to want to celebrate.  But if you make a big a big deal out of it, they probably will go along, just to try to please you and fit in with their peers.

One piece of physical snail mail has the impact of about 1000 pieces of email, because it’s well understood that it’s much harder to do than to send an email.

This is true, and I’m sending Hallmark a card as well.  But I disagree that it’s bad to also send email.  The idea that anyone important is going to sit down and read any of these emails is pretty naive; the point is the numbers.  If they’re sorting out positive and negative responses, an email is a vote.  If they’re not, and the only point is that they’re getting a lot of email, then sending positive emails undermines AFA’s campaign by rendering the total number meaningless as a measure of opposition.  It also sends AFA the message that people who oppose them know what they’re doing and have the tools to undercut it.  Which is just fun.

Hallmark is indeed sorting good from bad. I just got the following response after submitting a note via Jesse’s Hallmark.com link:

Response (Support Agent) - 08/25/2008 10:22 AM
Thank you for contacting Hallmark.

Much personal and creative effort goes into our products. It is especially nice to hear that people enjoy the results.  We appreciate your preference for Hallmark products and place a high value on your comments.

Thank you for taking the time to let us know.

Thanks,

Hallmark Consumer Care
www.Hallmark.com

Other things hallmark apparently “promotes” by making cards for the occasion:
death
illness
nonspecific bad situations
aging

Just saying.

But I disagree that it’s bad to also send email.  The idea that anyone important is going to sit down and read any of these emails is pretty naive; the point is the numbers.

Yes, that’s what I said.

You’ll note that the message Orange got came from an e-mail submitted via the Hallmark link. The message that Jesse posted that has now gone viral was to use the AFA link.

The point is the numbers: and Jesse’s succeeded in getting a whole bunch of people to do the equivalent of voting for Pat Buchanan in the butterfly ballot. Well done Jesse.

Queer is as Queer does, Jesse.

Just ask Pam when she’s not carpet munching.

Sent, via the Hallmark.com link Jesse added in at the end of the post:

I just wanted to say how thrilled I am to hear that Hallmark is now selling wedding cards for same-sex couples! It’s wonderful to be able to buy a card for such a special day that is made for the couple getting married, and not have to pick through the wedding cards to find one that doesn’t refer to “bride and groom”, or be forced to use a card that isn’t even a wedding card at all. When my little sister gets married, I know I’ll be able to send her a wedding card—what a nice, happy feeling.

THANK YOU! :D