It was almost a post title in search of a subject, wasn’t it?
Vice President Dick Cheney will be using a wheelchair at the inauguration, the White House says, because he hurt his back Monday while moving boxes into his new home in McLean, Va.
Poor guy.
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G. is convinced that Cheney won’t live out the year. You know, now that his deal with Satan has expired.
Yeah, I’m baffled by the concept of Dick Cheney lifting boxes too. It’s awfully menial work for the soon-to-be-former-Leader of the Free World to be doing. Especially with his famously bad heart.
How could Cheney trust anyone to touch any of his things? Everything from his post-its to his paper clips are Classified!
Another reminder that Keanu Reeves will be playing Spike in the live-action Cowboy Bebop. Fucking Keanu Reeves. Not that Cowboy Bebop ever needed to be made live-action anyway.
I call shenanigans. I’ve fucked up my back lifting heavy stuff before, and I never once needed a wheelchair to get around. Sure, walking wasn’t comfortable, but I just slapped on an Icy Hot patch and sucked it up.
I do wonder why the drug store put the topical back-pain remedies on the very bottom shelf, though. That just seems mean.
Of course he couldn’t get help moving. It would Disclose his Undisclosed Location. 
But this had to be the title for the subject, only because
Ha-HA! /Nelson for the Devil
just doesn’t have the same ring.
Umm… speculation, but maybe he had a heart attack that nobody knows about?
Personally, I’m hoping for a moment like like this from Cheney tomorrow.
(Keep an eye on Peter Bull just to Sellers’ left—he starts cracking up about halfway through.)
I like how that living in Wyoming didn’t even last ‘till he was out of office. What a boob.
Dan, there’s a bookstore in West Philly that put disability studies on the very lowest shelf. Top that!
My spouse only had this to say, “Well, they’ve been lame ducks for awhile now. It’s time for some lame Dicks.”
Were those the boxes the ones with all of Vice-Presidential memos, the Abu Ghraib collectors plates, the Gitmo videotape collection mint in box collectors edition, the ones with the psychological evaluations of the CIA employee who was declared a spy and then arrested and not charged for five years and kept from a trial because she didn’t deserve one (after all, she did question the Iraq war,) or the boxes of yellowcake and frosting?
Nevertheless, poor widdo baby indeed.
To be fair: it’s a long ceremony, and the advantage of having a wheelchair is you can legitimately sit down all the way through it. I have several friends who, while they don’t need wheelchairs to get around in their every day lives, do use their wheelchair at events which would otherwise require a lot of standing/walking, because there’s no explanation/interruption needed of “I REALLY HAVE TO SIT DOWN NOW”.
To be excrutiatingly fair: While it would have a certain poetic justice for Dick Cheney to keel over as Barack Obama becomes President of the United States, we want Cheney to be able to stand his trial, don’t we? Or be wheeled into the courtroom handcuffed to his wheelchair, at least….
I call bullshit. Unless he slipped a disk, he’s able to walk. What a jerk.
Lot’s of marble stairs out there… it’d be a shame if he accidentally rolled down a few flights.
We’ve all heard of the concept of sore losers, but y’all are being sore winners at this point. The man was twice elected Vice President of the United States, whether you like that fact or not, and now that his term is up, he’s doing the right thing and packing up to move out of his official residence. Vice President Cheney is doing what he should be doing at the end of his term, and y’all are still whining about him.
Dana, I think they’re pointing and laughing. That’s not the same as whining.
Either the cause is fake (Cheney doing “little people’s” work? I don’t think so) or he’s doing a Guy Caballero to avoid standing during the ceremony. Remember, this is the dickhead who showed up at the Auschwitz memorial ceremony dressed like an extra from The Great White North—he’s never been shy about finding a way to show sneering contempt for ceremonies he’s “forced” to attend.
Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Dana, are you seriously saying that Cheney should be lauded for moving out of that home that’s no longer his?
Cheney’s legacy: he left before check out time. Pin a Medal of Freedom on him!
Dana, we elect presidents. The president appoints the vice president.
Perhaps Lame Dick should go seealice, as the erection didn’t turn out as they had planned.
Dana’s just continuing in the GOP tradition of rewarding those who fulfill the lowest of expectations of office. It’s understandable, since the neoCons and Know-Nothings don’t come close to fulfilling the highest ones.
My spouse only had this to say, “Well, they’ve been lame ducks for awhile now. It’s time for some lame Dicks.”
Crissa
OK Crissa. I vote GOP most of the time and even I lol at that one. Good pun.
...now that his term is up, he’s doing the right thing and packing up to move out of his official residence.
Indeed. He hasn’t donned a crown, attempted any coups or barricaded himself inside the White House, and this is how we show our appreciation!
Whatever happened to Cheney is probably more from participating in something like this than from “lifting boxes”...
Dana, we’re measured by our actions. Everything we’ve seen out of Cheney for the last eight years indicates a seething, unapologetic (indeed, self-savoured) contempt for many, many things, including and especially his political opponents. That he would do this in order to avoid standing is a reasonable guess, given the man’s attitude and conduct. Whether “it is or isn’t” is beside the point that it’s exactly the sort of contemptuous asshole thing that he would do. (And let’s not forget that such pettiness isn’t exactly unprecedented. Eisenhower’s ghost should still be thoroughly ashamed of his conduct towards the Trumans as he arrived and they left.)
Dana, quit your whining. The right pilloried good people like Al Gore for no good reason, insulting him , maligning his name, and arguing passionately that Bush was somehow a better person and would be a better president than Gore. In the wake of this, you remained silent. When Cheney was found to be involved in the use of torture, your rushed with enthusiasm to the voting booth to reelect Bush and him and president and vice president.
You’d think that after all of that, you’d be able to appreciate other people engaging in a bit of mockery towards the VP. He can handle it, and it’s not at all morally questionable and it’s all in good fun, particularly compared to the moreally dubious behavior you engaged in over the past 8 years.
Remember, this is the dickhead who showed up at the Auschwitz memorial ceremony dressed like an extra from The Great White North—he’s never been shy about finding a way to show sneering contempt for ceremonies he’s “forced” to attend.
I’m watching C-SPAN and was relieved to see that someone made Cheney dress appropriately for the occasion this time. And it was funny to see Lynne Cheney and Jill Biden dressed in opposite colors: Cheney in a black coat with red gloves and Biden in a red coat with black gloves.
Damn, would I love to look like Jill Biden when I’m 58.
For anyone watching it on cable, I highly recommend C-SPAN. No idiotic talking heads blabbing over the footage.
Dana:
We’ve all heard of the concept of sore losers, but y’all are being sore winners at this point. The man was twice elected Vice President of the United States, whether you like that fact or not, and now that his term is up, he’s doing the right thing and packing up to move out of his official residence. Vice President Cheney is doing what he should be doing at the end of his term, and y’all are still whining about him.
Jeebus. You’ve missed the point by so much that the light from the point will take ten thousand years to reach your location.
now that his term is up, he’s doing the right thing and packing up to move out of his official residence
History records a favoreable verdict on the Bush Administration—“Well, at least they left without the US Marshals having to put their stuff out on the street.”
Sheesh, Dana, talk about the soft bigotry of low expectations. He also managed not to burn the place down (except perhaps metaphorically), should we throw him a parade?
Um, Sophist, I thought that Cheney has at least burned his office down!
I will say this for Bush—he does appear to have acted as he should in this situation. (Except for the Blair House thing, but I’d be willing to chalk that up to staff and not his personal decision.) In public, he’s been polite and gracious all the way through.
I still hope someone managed to egg his car as he drove away, though. Just for old times’ sake.
When I saw him in that wheelchair, and a can on his lap, the only thing I could think of was “Potter” from “It’s a Wonderful Life”.
I was at the National Mall watching the Inauguration on a Jumbotron, and Cheney looked so ill I couldn’t tell it was him at first. I call bullshit. The man had a heart attack or possibly even a stroke, and he’s hiding it because he’s pathological about hiding his weaknesses. The story about hurting his back moving boxes? That’s spin, no question. But I don’t think Cheney would pretend to weaknesses he doesn’t have in order to avoid standing; I do think he would minimize weaknesses he *does* have to the point of actively lying about the fact that he’s extremely ill.
Just wait. One of these days he’s going to go in for “routine surgery, a minor procedure” and he’ll come out dead, because it was really a quadruple bypass operation or an emergency resuscitation procedure after a heart attack.
I personally think he’s gotten so ill because he lacks a steady supply of Iraqi children to sacrifice to his dark gods for his continued life, but, y’know, I could be wrong about that one. I’m willing to bet, though, that I’m not wrong about him being really ill.
Doesn’t Cheney have a staff of flunkies to do work like that?
If not, I’m sure he could borrow some soldiers from Fort Belvoir, or even cruise by Home Depot to get some day laborers to jump into his SUV.