There’s no way in hell you’re going to get me to watch that trailer. I’d rather give myself a frontal lobotomy with a rusty knitting needle.

That was so… STUPID.

Is it me, or did the trailer feature a quote from David Zucker describing HIMSELF as a “master of satire”?

So…

conservatives in 4+ years haven’t yet found comedy that goes beyond “Michael Moore is fat”?

Oh, the hi-larity!  Did you see that?  People kept getting slapped.  And jokes about lesbians!  And the slapping!

Sides!  Splitting!

But when do we get to the funny part?

But when do we get to the funny part?

schadenfreude. look at the faces of the poor shlubs who paid to see it as they walk out.

That was the Youtube equivalent of herpes. Thanks a nuthin’.

...

GAH.

The only part I would rate as intentionally amusing was David Zucker describing himself as a “master of satire.” That kind of self-parody comes as close to self-awareness as this possibly could without the whole thing spontaneously combusting into a toxic mixture of melted Norman Schwarzkopf books on tape, mulched O’Reilly for Kids books, and Larry the Cable Guy talking keychains.

I think the funniest part is the comments on youtube, which are all variations on, “LIEbruls are stoopid and I’m gonna watch this movie twice on opening day after i drive my Hummer to the theater!!”

The movie itself looks like several dozen sacks of liquid shit.

I’m sure that, true to the title, the movie ends with life-long capitalists suddenly struck with generosity toward the poor, including paying for all their employees’ famillies’ health care.

“I love America - that’s why it needs to be destoyed.”

Captures the essences of the Left’s attitude towards the United States of America - in the abstract, they like it, but when pressed, they hate every specific thing they can name about it, except for the protection of their right to proclaim loudly how much they hate about it.

Other than scenery, and the right to use profanity on the internet, what do you like about the United States of America as it currently exists?  Why hate the fireworks in front of the American flag?  (“rockets red glare” is offensive? Maybe at baseball games, we could replace the national anthem with “We are the World.”  On Sundays, the MLB hits the Left with a twofer of outrage: opening games with the National Anthem, and then during the Seventh Inning Stretch, singing “God Bless America.”  The MLB started this after 9/11; apparently, they didn’t get the post 9-11 Rev. Wright memo that it isn’t God Bless America but God Damn America.  But, do Lefties even go to America’s Pastime, considering that it is linked with a phrase like that containing the word “America” ?)

And, no, I don’t drive a Hummer.  At last check, my Prius is getting 52 mpg.

Looks terrible.  And if Bill O is in it, that’d be reason enough to stay away.

Oh, and Watergate, there is no left in America.

And, no, I don’t drive a Hummer.  At last check, my Prius is getting 52 mpg.

How do you sit in the driver’s seat with Sean Hannity’s head up your ass?

Why hate the fireworks in front of the American flag?

First of all, he said, “followed by the massive explosion of fireworks in front of the highly flammable American flag backdrop.” He’s pointing out that not only it’s hazardous because the American flag can get burned this way, but ironic with the song being played.

This almost looks like it’s more of a satire on the right wing itself.

Almost…

That Michael Moore, he sure is fat!  It’s funny ‘cause it’s true!

Watergate, you should use your Prius to run over all those strawman liberals you seem to be surrounded by.

I think the funniest part is the comments on youtube

YouTube comment sections almost invariably contain dangerously high concentrations of stupid.

The right is so full of themselves. They think that they are the only ones that are in on ‘the joke’. They honestly believe that there is nothing wrong with torture and sadism if you are defending the nation. They honestly believe that ‘freedom isn’t free’ and that there are things like ‘just wars’ and that the French haven’t done a damn thing for the world except introduce mimes, french fries and overt pacifism.

They, like George Walker Bush, feel that they are misunderstood and that they will be vindicated by history.

They forget the massive corporatist agenda of the Bush administration. They forget the ‘sovereign nation’ idea, they forget about human rights and blowback and the constitution. They see nothing wrong with the ‘Goodling scandal’ and the NRA and guns in schools. They don’t fear the government because it is just like them. Perhaps they are the ones referred to by Kurt Cobain when he says ‘here we are now, entertain us’.

Damn, watergate - it must have taken you all day to build that strawman.

How far behind the times are American conservatives?

Their “Ghost of America Present” is Patton.

Am I confused or did they say that Rosie O’Donnell is in this?  I have always thought that she was obnoxious but I didn’t think she was dumb enough to appear in something quite this dumb.

Damn, watergate - it must have taken you all day to build that strawman.

It’s not even a very good strawman.

I’m glad it’s not really Rosie O’Donnell, but Leslie Nielsen?  On behalf of Canada, I apologize.  We thought he was better than that.

Kelsey Grammer, nooooooooooo.

It’s kind of sad that BillO has one line about how fun it is to beat up people he disagrees with, and his delivery is still stiffer than him at a Middle Eastern grocery store. Honestly, I don’t know why they put him in this, since it already has James Woods, who played a shrieking narcissist in “Once Upon a Time in America” just as well.

Sigh.  I guess we still have Airplane!, Police Squad, and Top Secret on the plus side.

James Woods? Jon Voight? David Zucker? David Alan Grier? Oh my God, what the hell were you people thinking?

Nope.  Na ga watch it.

I did hear a little about it, though.  Sounds like it’s about as funny as Fox News’ “½ Hour News Hour.”  And no doubt equally as successful.

Bitter Scribe: Hey, true story, I animated James Wood’s wood abut 3 years ago.

Did anyone else see the coverage of Bush’s Olympic Odyssey?

Like the incident with the US flag?

He was proudly holding it up, backwards, and Laura scolded him to reverse it. Well, the interesting point is that from his perspective, it WAS right and didn’t need to be changed, It was the people looking AT him that realized that it was backwards. For some reason that’s very telling and has stuck with me ever since I saw it…

Bush thinks there’s nothing wrong with what he’s done to the country. He thinks that it’s all been justified. He thinks the problem is with us, the people looking at the flag from OUR perspective and seeing that it’s backward. Interesting…

Maybe it’s because most people would take the viewers perspective in mind and hold the flag backwards to them but forward to the viewers. Bush and narcissistic egotism. There’s a diagnoses I can believe in…

I think I’m relatively liberal (and yet I haven’t seen a Michael Moore film since Roger and Me) but I’ve never understood why conservatives keep insisting that Michael Moore represents all liberals.  It seems a particularly weak straw man and also seems about four or five years too late.  Will their next movie make fun of the West Wing starring Martin Sheen?

Ohh, Zucker did Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult?

It played last night. It was pretty inane and vacuous but had some priceless zingers. None of which I can remember today…

Obviously it wasn’t ‘the final insult’...

But looking at that movie, you can see the budding idiocy that would be this. It’s racist and incredibly lame in many spots and the pot shots at Donahue and the president and many others is interesting. Oddly, I don’t remember ever watching it before. Well, either that or as an act of self defense my brain forgot it…

Maybe, just maybe, this movie will be as much of a smash hit as this movie was!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0381006/

“This iz owrr countreeee..”

Obviously my favorite part is the unattractive, mannish lesbians.  You know a joke is hilarious when you need to say it three times in a row for the audience to get it.

Second favorite part is the phrase “the true meaning of patriotism” juxtaposed with smacking handicapped children around.  Do they even realize they’re mocking themselves?

Did I mishear or are they trying to trick people into thinking Robert Downey Jr. is in the movie.  Sure, they only said “Robert Downey”  and excluded the “Jr.” part but still.  I think a cease and desist is on the way.

I think we’re going to be pleasantly surprised that this will unintentionally be among the best parodies of conservative thought ever produced.

Liberals will be watching this for years, but not for the reasons the knucklehead producers think.

So, what’s the story arc here?  Left-winger who despises America is escorted by one or more supernatural beings to see the real America—where unemployment/underemployment is pushing 10%, inflation is running at just under 6%, gas costs $4.00 a gallon and 85% of the country thinks we’re headed in the wrong as we’re fighting wars that are costing $150 billion a year and 35,000 casualties and counting.  And then what?  He changes his view on things because he sees a second-rate country singer performing in front of an exploding flag?

You know, it’s not a bad thing to want to make a film from a conservative point of view.  Of course, it’s not like there’s not plenty of films being made from a conservative point of view already, but whatever.

But that’s not funny.  Not because they’re supposedly making fun of liberals, because it’s not funny.  Taking a look at IMDB, “master of satire” Zucker hasn’t produced a decent comedy—“The Naked Gun”—since 1988.  In fact for the last few years, he’s been responsible for at least three of the universally reviled “Movie” movies.  (“Scary Movie” 3 and 4 and “Superhero Movie”, to be precise.)  Kelsey Grammer’s film career is notoriously awful—with the exception of “Toy Story 2”, all of his decent comedy work was on television.  Jon Voight might be the only worthy member of the cast, and unless you want to count “Baby Geniuses 2” and “Bratz”, he hasn’t done a comedy since “Zoolander” seven years ago.  And as for Kevin Farley ... well, I suddenly have a profound respect for Chris Farley’s body of work.

And with “jokes” about slavery and murdering the ACLU, I can’t see how this would possibly be amusing.  In fact, I can’t see how ANY part of the movie would be amusing after seeing the “dusty 3,000” scene.  Seriously?  In a comedy?  That would bring down the mood in a drama.  In a comedy, it’s tacky, tasteless, and a profoundly skeevy example of the right’s tendency to shout “9/11, 9/11, 9/11!” every time things don’t go their way.

And then what?  He changes his view on things because he sees a second-rate country singer performing in front of an exploding flag?

Pretty much, evidently.

After all, these are the same knuckledraggers who think Darryl Worley whining about 9/11 justifies slaughtering and torturing Iraqis. “Have you forgotten” my ass.

I would watch this movie for $25,000.  Not a penny less.

Hey, I thought Kevin Farley was hilarious in that Hertz rent-a-car commercial.  If this sh*tty movie boosts his film career, good for him.  In a couple of years if he gets actual roles, Kevin Farley won’t have to spend one second dealing with the right wing baby brigades.

I’m willing to stipulate that funny conservatives exist, PJ O’Rourke being one. And…HL Mencken? See that’s two in the last hundred years alone. And apparently there’s a rule that they have to go by their initials. These globs of sadness do not make the cut.

I’ve never understood why conservatives keep insisting that Michael Moore represents all liberals

He’s fat, like they all are.

Besides, they have trouble remembering more than one or two names.

Wondering at the irony of the trailer saying “...teach him the meaning of patriotism”, which apparently cocnsists of slapping people.c

I love it . It shows us what Conservatives think is funny. Racism, Sexism, brutality…a fundamental misunderstanding of the most basic liberal values…and for some reason Jon Voight as Washington made up to look like Lawrence Olivier in Drag. Hmmmm…

Little else needs to be said beyond the credits , Robert Davi . Thats the level we’re dealing with here folks. As important as film as ,say, Showgirls? Let history decide .

” A genius of blog commenting ”
                      Me

David Alan Grier is supposed to be doing a take off of the daily show on BET…this certainly doesn’t spur my interest

carsick: I think you misheard. According to IMDB, “Robert Davi” is one of the stars. I think he might be most famous from his role in “The Goonies.”

Also, the Rosie O’Donnell impersonator is named Vicki Browne. I’m not sure why she gets billing as “Rosie O’Connell,” the character’s name, unless it’s just to intentionally mislead.

And what the hell is David Alan Grier doing in this movie? There’s no indication anywhere on the Internet that he’s a right-winger, and the fact that he’s doing “The Chocolate News” on Comedy Central made me think he was a bit more liberal. Then again, Jon Stewart’s not involved, so who knows?

At last check, my Prius is getting 52 mpg and I’m still an asshole.

Fixed that for you.

Watergate, do you have any experience with American liberals outside of what you are told by Hannity, Rush, and O’Reilly? Your whole argument is an absolute strawman. Where have liberals complained about saying “America” or about the Star Spangled Banner. That would be nowhere. You’re just lying or ignorant.

I love living in a country where people can make a craptacular stupid movie like this. People like Jesse can call it craptacular. People like you can call all us horrible traitors, and people like us can call you an ignorant douchebag. But, please do hang around. You may actually learn something about the liberals you so despise.

Kelsey is a well know repug hack, so I’ll pass on the movie & even the free trailer.

Having gone to school for several years with a girl who was a victim of thalidomide-caused birth defects, this was a most uncool thing to say.  O’Rourke starkly revealed his innermost asshole while being “funny”…

To clarify, I do think he’s an asshole, but he is undeniably an amusing writer. It’s an aesthetic judgement, not a moral one. I think Toby Keith’s a pretty impressive songwriter, Hitler loved dogs and so forth…

“I’m willing to stipulate that funny conservatives exist, PJ O’Rourke being one.”

He and James Lileks are the only conservatives who ever made me laugh. (A lot of people like Christopher Buckley. I’m not one of them.)

Battlefield Earth. Mark my words.

It’s on DVD by christmas and cable a month before that.

What a career killer.

But David Zucker is the “master of American satire” according to David Zucker.  And I think you can trust his opinion - he is, after all, the master of American satire.

Two thoughts.  First I have to say I loved Zucker’s early stuff, Airplane, Naked Gun, but his later movies have sucked big time lately and, since I’m liberal and it’s probably terrible,  I won’t waste my time.  It probably will bomb anyway.

Second thought.  If we can dish it out, we have to be able to take it.  If he’d made a liberal-edged movie using a Bush impersonator as an unAmerican, bumbling idiot preznit and Cheney as a psychopathic egomaniac, etc, etc,  we’d all be rushing to see it.  So, let the Bushies have this.  It may be the best they can hope for.  (and, yes, I expect you all to point out that movie I described above has already been made and its called Fahrenheit 911).

Its a shame that their target audience, brain dead DITTOHEADS, wont be able to see this tripe since they can barely afford to fill their cars with gas, feed their families or afford health insurance.

All that’s left for this travesty is a heaping dose of wingnut welfare to artificially boost the opening weekend numbers with bulk ticket buys and a free showing on FNC right before the election….

Rosie O’Connell - she’s a professional Rosie O’Donnell impersonator.

Wait….what??!!

Someone justify the existence of a professional Rosie O’Donnell impersonator to me.  Please, before my head explodes.

Simple - you get to impersonate a woman without wearing a dress.

Isn’t that the fun part?

Ms. Kate, it’s a lot simpler than that. They hate him because he is effective at what he does.

I don’t think most conservatives even know anything about Michael Moore. They probably imagine him as some gun-hating smug Hollywood limousine liberal elitist born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

Funny thing… reminds me of a story about my wingnut father. Back in 1998, when George W. Bush was just beginning to appear on our radar screens, my father offered his opinion about Bill Clinton: he didn’t like him because he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and had everything handed to him.

I told him that was the exact opposite of the truth, but he would not believe me (because that’s the way he rolls…). It took his girlfriend supporting my assertion for him to back down. And whom did he vote for twice? George W. Bush, the prodigal son born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

These zombie lies just don’t die… this cariacature of all liberals as effete, pacifist, gun-hating to-the-manor-born elitists and conservatives as salt-of-the-earth everyday working people. That’s why the GOP and their noise machine gets away with their outrageous lies about Obama, Gore, Kerry, Cleland, and whoever else you have. Truth is immaterial; all you have to do is play to people’s prejudices.

“If he’d made a liberal-edged movie using a Bush impersonator as an unAmerican, bumbling idiot preznit and Cheney as a psychopathic egomaniac, etc, etc, we’d all be rushing to see it.”

Why? We’re living it.

““I love America - that’s why it needs to be destoyed.”

Captures the essences of the Left’s attitude towards the United States of America - in the abstract, they like it, but when pressed, they hate every specific thing they can name about it, except for the protection of their right to proclaim loudly how much they hate about it. “

I never cease being amazed by conservatives ability to project their own flaws on to their opponents.  It’s hard to believe anyone could be this deluded, but we see these types every day, unfortunately.

It’s the right-wing that mumbles platitudes about loving America but wants to change every principle the country was founded on.  Left-wing people want America to stay true to the ideals of its founders.  Right-wingers want to transform it into an almost unrecognizable nation of continual government surveillance, indefinite detentions without charge, no protections against unwarranted search and seizure, “first amendment zones”, established state religion, and aggressive warfare in the cause of eternal world domination.  It’s people like you, Watergate, that truly hate America as envisioned by the people that created it.  The founding fathers would line up for the chance to slap you in the face.

It’s on DVD by christmas and cable a month before that.

Speaking of which… what happened to Ben Stein’s steaming load, Expelled??? Did it last even one weekend in theaters???

I think there are several reasons why conservatives are not funny. One of them is that the right generally supports the wealthy and the privileged, yet these are often the very targets of humor. The poor and powerless don’t need to be taken down a notch, and unless your soul has curdled it usually just ain’t funny to do so.

There also seems to be a nasty, misanthropic streak in conservatives. What’s funny about beating up Michael Moore or Rosie O’Donnell? That’s not humor; that’s a revenge fantasy, and that seems to be a common thread in right-wing attempts at humor.

Anyone else care to deconstruct why right-wingers consistently fail at humor?

Right-wingers want to transform it into an almost unrecognizable nation of continual government surveillance, indefinite detentions without charge, no protections against unwarranted search and seizure, “first amendment zones”, established state religion, and aggressive warfare in the cause of eternal world domination.

This is what they call, ‘getting government off your back’.

“If he’d made a liberal-edged movie using a Bush impersonator as an unAmerican, bumbling idiot preznit and Cheney as a psychopathic egomaniac, etc, etc, we’d all be rushing to see it.”

I cry “bullshit” on that, shades. I’m a liberal, and I rushed to see “Team America”, even though most of its politics were stupid or even offensive. Why? Because the film was fucking hilarious. The trailer convinced me it would be. And Trey Parker and Matt Stone are fucking funny. Most of the people I know who have, (a) seen “Team America”, and (b) think it’s funny, are liberals. Notice how few right wingers went to see that film?

“An American Carol” looks like it’ll be the most hilarious David Zucker movie since the last David Zucker refried shit on toast. No one’s rushed to see a David Zucker movie in years.

The real question:  will it be any funniier than “Farenhype 911”?

“If we can dish it out, we have to be able to take it.  If he’d made a liberal-edged movie using a Bush impersonator as an unAmerican, bumbling idiot preznit and Cheney as a psychopathic egomaniac, etc, etc, we’d all be rushing to see it.”

Uh, speak for yourself. I have no desire to see even ‘comedic’ depictions of Bush and Cheney at this point. And I seriously doubt a movie of the type you are suggesting here would be any funnier than this Carol crap.

What I find particularly sad is the fact that nobody seems to have told poor Zucker that 911!911!911 THE BUILDIN’S FELLZ DOWN AMERRICA! is last year’s conservative whip-up-s-frenzy product. Like John mcCain says, it’s all about Russia’s invasion of Georgia, apparently the first significant crisis since the end of the cold war. Interesting how that works.

They should have let him know so that tacky 911 dust scene could be replaced by scenes of Georgia being invaded. Because we’re all Georgians now. Or something.

I’m standing up for Watergate here.

IMO, there badly needs to be made a certain film from the conservative point of view.  It would feature conservatives like David Iglesias and Gens. Paul Hackett John Batiste, and the guy who resigned from Guantanamo prosecutions when his suggestion that some innocent verdicts would show the fairness of the process made his superior gasp and say ‘but we can’t have any innocent verdicts!’

And Bruce Fein and William Odom, and the conservative judges from the Dover schools and Terry Schiavo cases, and James Comey and the dozens of justice department lawyers horrified at the behavior of their department’s top people, and on and on…

And then Watergate would MAYBE get an idea of what we love about this country.

Along with a sense of shame, if he’s capable of it.

surveillance, indefinite detentions without charge, no protections against unwarranted search and seizure, “first amendment zones”, established state religion, and aggressive warfare in the cause of eternal world domination.

This is what they call, ‘getting government off your back’.

And stuffing it up your ass.

shades:

If we can dish it out, we have to be able to take it. If he’d made a liberal-edged movie using a Bush impersonator as an unAmerican, bumbling idiot preznit and Cheney as a psychopathic egomaniac, etc, etc, we’d all be rushing to see it.

Let me also ask you to speak for yourself. I think That’s My Bush! and Lil’ Bush are two of the worst shows ever put on television, because they’re not fucking funny. They’re just mean and juvenile. Those shows are a lot more like this movie — i.e., tone-deaf and cruel, like nearly all conservative humor — than they are like South Park or The Daily Show.

A.Scott, please e-mail me to learn about forming a Union for blog commentors. We deserve reasonable working conditions, wages and a certain amount of job security and beneifits, just like anybody else. After all, where would the blogs be without us?

On Sundays, the MLB hits the Left with a twofer of outrage: opening games with the National Anthem, and then during the Seventh Inning Stretch, singing “God Bless America.” The MLB started this after 9/11;

Watergate, you’re confusing the American past-time, baseball, with the marketing gimmicks of a money-crazed corporate-welfare business. MLB would set a much, much better example of real values by ending drug-use, but that would be actual hard work, and they’d have to do it all the time, not just on Sundays (after 9/11).

Or were you posting a parody of responsible conservatism?

That’s noted patriotism expert Trace “Honky Tonk Badonk-a-donk” Adkins, to you, Jesse.

Based on the trailer, I’d say the concept here is “Triumph of the Will” as a musical comedy.

Which was also the concept for “Springtime for Hitler”—except the production values were better.

Speaking of which… what happened to Ben Stein’s steaming load, Expelled??? Did it last even one weekend in theaters???

It actually did quite well for a documentary, making about $8 million or so over the course of 2-3 weeks in theaters.  It was an awful movie—I used some free passes to watch it—but it would have to be considered a minor box office success given its low budget, etc (it’s the fifth highest grossing “political documentary” of all time according to Box Office Mojo).

It’s too easy to pile on to American Carol at this point, but I wanted to second the point about Team America.  Although I don’t like Stone and Parker’s politics, at least they are capable of humor that goes beyond fat jokes and punching a Michael Moore impersonator in the face.

“I love America - that’s why it needs to be destoyed.”

Captures the essences of the Right’s attitude towards the United States of America

FTFY.

I was pumped up to hate the clip, but frankly it wasn’t all that terrible. Farley seems an appealing guy, and slapping is funny, whether on the right or the left. Mind you, this may be the best stuff in the movie. Still and all, can’t say it is any better or worse than the average Zucker production from this sample.

I wonder what Grier’s reason is for being in this movie or whether he’s politically sympathetic.  AS noted by many, I think this film only betrays the rather ugly prejudices of those who still support the War on Terror.  Ooh, jokes about lesbians, hilarious!  Jokes about how slapping handicapped kids because of course that’s sooooooo ironic for Bushites who would never discriminate against anyone…...the projection here is breathtaking.

Michael Moore = Emmanuel Goldstein.

If we can dish it out, we have to be able to take it. If he’d made a liberal-edged movie using a Bush impersonator as an unAmerican, bumbling idiot preznit and Cheney as a psychopathic egomaniac, etc, etc, we’d all be rushing to see it.

I certainly have no plans to see Oliver Stone’s Dubya biopic.

renato (sorry, I can’t do that Euro thing) - you’ve pretty much nailed it. I remember, as a kid, cringing at hippies getting beaten up in “L’il Abner” and thinking, Someone actually finds this funny?

I think it says it all that they need to drag in George Washington, for heaven’s sake, to make their point for them. Whatever that is.

Other than scenery, and the right to use profanity on the internet, what do you like about the United States of America as it currently exists?  Why hate the fireworks in front of the American flag?  (“rockets red glare” is offensive?

The “rocket’s red glare” referred to the use of weapons by American revolutionaries fighting against an imperial power.

If you want to rewrite the anthem to fit contemporary times, it would be sung in Arabic and refer to the “RPGs swift whoosh” and the sound of Humvees blowing up. You’ve turned into your original enemy.

I’ll never forget another early instance of conservative “humor”: A mainstream political cartoonist (Bill Maudlin, IIRC) drew a cartoon of a little black baby crying because a white man in a general’s uniform was standing next to his crib, sucking down his bottle of milk. This so enraged some dickhead at the National Review that he drew the same cartoon in reverse, with the general transformed into a crying baby and the black baby morphing into a hugely obese Fat Albert type in diapers, sucking on the bottle. The National Review people were, naturally, quite indignant when it was suggested that this might have been a teeny bit racist.

(But, God help me, the trailer looked funny. Tehn again, I paid to see “Epic Movie”.  Will I ever learn?)

I admit, I laughed when Bill Orielly admitted he just likes to hit Michael Moore.  That one’s funny because it’s true, but in real life I guess it would quickly go from funny to creepy when you realized Bill was never going to stop.

I admit, I laughed when Bill Orielly admitted he just likes to hit Michael Moore.  That one’s funny because it’s true, but in real life I guess it would quickly go from funny to creepy when you realized Bill was never going to stop.

But I think that if they did ever meet, there would be the proverbial ‘2 hits’. Michael hitting Bill and Bill hitting the floor.

You just know that Bill has a ‘glass jaw’... You just know it…

cadavra - Osama bin Ladin is Emmanuel Goldstein.

I won’t watch the clip or the movie because I already know that right-wing America is truly, belligerently, intransigently stupid.

I think there are several reasons why conservatives are not funny. One of them is that the right generally supports the wealthy and the privileged, yet these are often the very targets of humor. The poor and powerless don’t need to be taken down a notch, and unless your soul has curdled it usually just ain’t funny to do so.

Actually, to a certain comic sensibility, this is the ONLY kind of humor that’s funny—piling on a target that’s already down and kicking it harder.  Some people will always enjoy a good laugh at their own superiority over very poor people (see: “trailer trash” mockery), minorities, women, and/or the disabled.

Of course the word for that is not “satire”, but don’t tell David Zucker that.  He’s using the college newspaper definition of satire.

My answer to the “why conservatives aren’t funny” question—well, I think Dennis Miller can be funny, so I’m not ruling them all out.  I think *these* conservatives aren’t funny because they take themselves too seriously, and they are too extremist in their views to have any perspective.  All they can do is lash out at people like Michael Moore and Ugly Feminists who hurt their sensitive wingnut feelings by disagreeing with them.  There’s no substance behind it, only “I’m awesome and you’re wrong!”

The key to Jon Stewart’s humor is that he doesn’t have any heroes or blind spots.  He’s openly anti-Bush and a Democrat, but he WILL tear Democrats down if they go back on their promises or just look stupid.  He’s even mocked MoveOn.org and anti-war protesters a few times himself.  People like David Zucker, on the other hand, cling desperately to Bizarro George Washington and the Fox News talking points, and all they can do is obediently parrot their approved jokes about, like, who loves the real America and who doesn’t.  Exaggerating (just barely) that lock-step devotion to partisan hackery makes *them* look silly, not their intended targets.

I think That’s My Bush! and Lil’ Bush are two of the worst shows ever put on television, because they’re not fucking funny. They’re just mean and juvenile. Those shows are a lot more like this movie — i.e., tone-deaf and cruel, like nearly all conservative humor — than they are like South Park or The Daily Show.

Whoa there.  I agree on your basic point, but a little background on “That’s My Bush!”—it was supposed to be so-bad-it’s-ironic.  Trey Parker and Matt Stone envisioned the show as a parody of by-the-numbers sitcoms and came up with the idea before the Bush/Gore election was even settled. (Bush and Dick’s names would provide many crass puns, but they also liked the idea of how “dull” Al Gore was and how out-of-place he would look in a sitcom.) It was hardly a bunch of left-wingers trying to stick it to Bush.

All of its tired, juvenile, lowest-common-denominator “humor” was intentionally so, the same way most of the dialogue in “Team America” (especially the romantic subplot) is intentionally bland.  This made “That’s My Bush!” the rare show that is simultaneously brilliant and unwatchable.  It was not fucking funny, but there was an awareness to it which “An American Carol” is totally lacking.

Michael Moore is barely high school educated, he isn’t pretty, his parents and grandparents worked hard for a living at working class jobs, he’s fat and he loves him some ribs and NASCAR and owns guns like the rest of the rabble they seek to control.

... and he’s a devout Catholic.

You know, it’s kind of hard to look around at the problems in America today, whatever your politics, and decide that the problem is that there are too many liberal documentarians who have caused our problems and/or made them worse. So I’m thinking they’re going after the wrong target here. Seriously, given the problems we have in the USA, what did Michael Moore ever do that “hurt America” and caused those problems? The problem with the movie is that the premise doesn’t make any sense.

In over 100 posts, I didn’t see an answer to my question:  What do you love about the United States of America other than scenery and the right to dissent?  It’s a serious question.  It isn’t answered by saying how much you think I hate the US, or how much “The Right” hates the US.  It isn’t answered by insulting me, Bill O’Reilly, or my new car.  It isn’t answered by calling the question a strawman.  It isn’t answered by extended discussions about how conservatives aren’t funny, or how they don’t sympthasize sufficiently with the downtrodden.

If you don’t love anything about the United States of America other than the parts of the First Amendment relating to speech (and maybe the Establishment Clause), then just say so.  Maybe you can make it to the Fourth Amendment, but you don’t think that is being enforced.  (I assume you skip the Second Amendment, and, well the Third Amendment really doesn’t come up very often.)  Same with the 8th Amendment—like it, but think it’s being ignored.

I believe that the United States is a fundamentally decent and good country, even though it may not be perfect.  Do you agree or disagree with that simple statement?

When I watched “Saving Private Ryan,” in the opening scene, I saw the amazing bravery of the soldiers who assaulted the pillbox atop the bluffs overlooking the beach, and I wondered whether we had any of those people left.  I found my answer on the morning of September 11, 2001, when a group of strangers aboard United 93 came together and fought back, giving their lives to save hundreds or even thousands of their fellow countrymen.

That is just one of the things that I love about the United States—the willingness of its citizens to risk their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor for strangers.  This has been true since the Revolution, it held true when our country asked for, and received, the last full measure of devotion from so many during the Civil War, it held true when so many went “over there” for the war to end all wars, it held true in the Marshall Plan and the Berlin Airlift, it held true when tens of thousands of Americans perished to keep at least half of Korea from falling into the darkest prison imaginable, and it held true every time America came to the aid of an impovrished land suffering under some terrible natural disaster.  Yes, we did terribly on Katrina—shocking mismanagement in building inadequate levies, failure at the local, state, and national level after the fact, but did any other country offer to help?  No—that’s what WE do, help others.

As the Oskar Schindler character noted at the end of the movie, we could have done more.  For example, Rwanda could have been spared genocide with maybe 1000 troops on the ground.  But, no one else did anything, either, and some countries actually had troops on the ground there.

What do you love about the United States?  What makes you proud about our country?

When you see the Stars and Stripes raised at the Olympics, and hear the National Anthem, do you feel pride—or hate, resentment and disappointment?

I really want to know.  I don’t think all liberals hate the US.  For example, I firmly believe that Joe Lieberman, who holds many liberal views with which I disagree, loves the United States.

Please tell me what you love about the US—as it exists today.

“The “rocket’s red glare” referred to the use of weapons by American revolutionaries fighting against an imperial power.

If you want to rewrite the anthem to fit contemporary times, it would be sung in Arabic and refer to the “RPGs swift whoosh” and the sound of Humvees blowing up. You’ve turned into your original enemy. “

Equating the Founders, and those Americans fighting the British, with the beheading-on-the-internet Al Qaeda thugs is mind-numbingly stupid.  The Iraqi “resistance” routinely terrorized civilians with shocking brutality.  The mass of Iraqis have rejected the death cult propagated in large measure by foreign fighters in favor of deciding their own fate by peaceful means.

(Also, the National Anthem described the 1814 battle for Fort McHenry in the War of 1812, not the Revolution.)

Tyro wrote:
I am an entitlement whore.

Fixed that for you.

Hah! Well, that’ll teach me not to preview. Sorry, Tyro! The double corrected version of the post is, of course:

Watergate wrote:
I am an entitlement whore.

Fixed that for you.

“Watergate wrote:
I am an entitlement whore.”

No, I didn’t.

What the hell are you talking about?  Is it possible for you to address direct questions without lying, profane BS?

In over 100 posts, I didn’t see an answer to my question:  What do you love about the United States of America other than scenery and the right to dissent?  It’s a serious question.

See, the problem is that we don’t have to defend our love of this country to you.  Doing so would serve to validate your premise that we hate America by default and that we have to prove otherwise.  So trust that we do, in fact, love this country.  Actually, our anger at what “your side” has done to destroy so much of what we on the left love about this country should be enough evidence of our love for America.

So please, STFU.

Equating the Founders, and those Americans fighting the British, with the beheading-on-the-internet Al Qaeda thugs is mind-numbingly stupid.

Speaking of mind-numbingly stupid - which part of “Iraq” do you not understand?  Al Qaeda had fuck all presence inside Iraq before the US invaded it; it has a very minor role in the fighting now.  It is idiots such as yourself who eqaute the Iraqi resistance with “Al Qaeda” who are responsible for your country’s continued blindness - the Shia modelling Hezbollah are a far more significant force.

The Iraqi “resistance” routinely terrorized civilians with shocking brutality.

Three quarters of attacks in the US are aimed at Americans or the Iraqi Army.  Yers, civilians are being attacked - because there’s a fucking civil war going on at the same time. The reason for this civil war essentially boil down to jockeying for position once the US leaves, because they know the US will leave.

The mass of Iraqis have rejected the death cult propagated in large measure by foreign fighters in favor of deciding their own fate by peaceful means.

Wow - a whole 4-10% of the fighters (as of 2005, anyhow).  What about the rest, dimwit?

You have no idea what is really going on.

When I watched “Saving Private Ryan,” in the opening scene, I saw the amazing bravery of the soldiers who assaulted the pillbox atop the bluffs overlooking the beach, and I wondered whether we had any of those people left.

The British Commonwealth and France declared war on Nazi Germany after it invaded Poland in 1939.

The USA didn’t declare war on Germany in support of anyone; Germany declared war on it in 1941.

Strange - in your jingoiism I don’t see any recognition that other countries fought longer and suffered more than the US ever did.

Yes, we did terribly on Katrina—shocking mismanagement in building inadequate levies, failure at the local, state, and national level after the fact, but did any other country offer to help?

Yes.

No—that’s what WE do, help others.

Uh-huh.

9Sorry about the ranting people - ignorant American right-wing jingoiists with no idea of an international context irritate the shit out of me)

Hey Watergate, I’ll tell you what, as a liberal, I’m proud of America, and I don’t even live in your country.

I’m proud, as most liberals would be, of how America has lead the world in many progressive values.  I’m proud that social safety nets were introduced to end the depression, proving that you don’t need to be a communist state to help those in need.  I’m proud of the scientific discoveries by brilliant American scientists.  I’m proud of Martin Luther King.  I’m proud of Al Gore.  I’m proud of the ACLU.  I’m proud of probably most things you hate about America.

And by the way, your demonstrably false claim that no country offered help during Katrina makes you look rather silly (France and most EU countries, Japan, Venezuela, Cuba, Canada, and many others).  Bush instead insisted “we’re going to take care of our own business”.  Unfortunately, things still aren’t fixed there despite the fact America could in fact take care of itself.  And so I’ll be prouder still when America moves on and rebuilds from the disaster that is this administration.

Watergate, here’s what liberals like about America:  It codifies a process in which every baby is seen as having immense potential which will be realized if the social supports are in place:  Health care, proper familial and childcare growth and development, sound educational programs, safe neighborhood and social environments, and crisis assistance in matters of safety and law.  As Michael Moore wrote in the Kerry/Bush campaign, “If we win, we’ll see your children get a good school to go to.”

It was federal funding for a boy playing stickball in Brooklyn that tapped his potential to become the surgeon who saved President Reagan’s life.  It was federal money and federal oversight that has made it possible for Seattle’s magnificent Aurora Bridge to outlast by at least the contractor-delegated construction of the Minneapolis I-85 bridge.  And it was federal money and liberal impulse that destroyed—without dropping a single bomb, killing one civilian, losing one soldier or invading any sovereign state—the terrorist organization that killed 5,000 Americans—the Ku Klux Klan.

Liberals believe in the freedom of association—“the most dangerous freedom” as writer William Bradford Huie put it—which your “conservative” friends have largely gutted, with FISA.  Liberals believe in education for all—which your friends have transmuted into profitmaking for testing companies (see the September Harper’s), a retreat from engagement by homeschoolers, diversion of the people’s money into vouchers for the wealthy’s children to attend private schools.

Liberals believe in transparency in government—traceable through e-mail records (by the present
Administration mysteriously “lost”, destroyed or wholly circumvented by using the RNC e-mail network), with accountability due from the likes of Ted Stevens and William Jefferson and Scooter Libby. 

Liberals believe in impartial justice, not in Supreme Court justices who fail to recuse themselves in cases in which their relatives have an indirect (Clarence Thomas) or direct (Antonin Scalia) interest.  Liberals believe in a system of law effectively administered to prevent society from dissolving into a network of clans with trans-generational vendettas.

And liberals believe that those who are wealthy in America owe in in great part to those who are not—the ones who keep the machinery going so that the wealth is generated smoothly and happily—and that it is the obligation—and prudent self-interest—of the wealthy to share the burden of keeping America great.  And that means paying taxes.

Don’t confuse the common video images of America—flags, happy farmers, busy highways—with the real America—the complex of competing interests at all levels which are resolved justly and without bloodshed.  People who sell you those images hope to trade on your credulity.  I advise renting “The Corporation” for starters.

In over 100 posts, I didn’t see an answer to my question:

That’s tough luck, isn’t it? We don’t work for you, and this thread isn’t about you. You’re not entitled to attention about your off-topic, baiting blather.

And prescaarthur: no problem. I was wondering what that was all about.

Concerning “Watergate”‘s comments on WW2 - well, there was a bunch of people who went over to fight fascism in Spain back in the 30’s when they saw the threat it posed… but they were Socialists and Communists, so I guess they don’t count, right?

And I hate to harp on this, but - bravery? How about the bravery of first responders and construction workers who ran towards the Towers on 9/11 not because of patriotism but because fellow humans needed their help?

And as far as “conservative humor” goes, I can see it’s time I re-started my reviews of Harlan Ellison’s “The Glass Teat” columns. He had a column on the reasons why “conservative humor” is so painfully unfunny - I seem to recall it boils down to the fact that when you’re in favor of the status quo, it’s impossible to have the edginess that makes political humor funny. The phrase he used was something along the order of “you don’t lampoon anywhere near your own troops”.

Zucker did a funny little YouTube thing on taxes and the IRS a couple of years ago, which featured the fast rat-a-tat pace of early Airplane.  I don’t think he can sustain that humor though on a feature length.

Watergate, it is funny that your love of this country seems completely built on an ignorant understanding of US and world history. You remind me of a first grader standing up and pledging allegiance to the flag when you have no understanding of what it actually means. Others have already discussed your ignorance of WWII and post-Katrina international aid. I imagine your views of the US are littered with such wrongheaded thoughts. Liberals love this country like adults. We try to understand its past and current mistakes, so that we can continue to improve.

Conservative love is the type to watch their good friends make stupid mistakes while cheering them on. Liberals love would tell them to stop being a dumbass and get their shit together. We won’t cheerlead and pretend this country is already perfect.

As to what I love about this country, I second johnnyR and cgregor.

Ah, I think I’ll wait for the video if I get the inclination even than.

“If he’d made a liberal-edged movie using a Bush impersonator as an unAmerican, bumbling idiot preznit and Cheney as a psychopathic egomaniac, etc, etc, we’d all be rushing to see it.”

Why bother when we get to see that every day on the news.  Believe me, it’s not funny, not even slightly.

Watergate - If you loved America as much as you hate some Americans, you wouldn’t ask these unbelievably stupid and ignorant questions, because you would realize that your love of country is no more real or authentic than ours, whereas your hatred of Americans is palpable.  Who the fuck do you think you are to suggest any of us loves this country less than you do?  There are plenty of liberal veterans, atheist veterans, and others who you no doubt revile, but who have sacrificed infinitely more than your heroes, Rush Limbaugh, Dick Cheney and George W Bush ever did.  They were draft dodgers.  By contrast, John Kerry was a decorated war hereo, and you probably still spew swift boat bullshit about him, don’t you?  Why do right wingers hate Americans so much?  How can anyone who hates Americans that much claim to love America?

By the way, here are a few things I love about America:  I love our democracy, our melting pot, our constitution, the founding fathers, and the secular politics they tried to create (now at risk thanks to assholes like you), our culture, our musical tradition, the bravery of our young people serving in an all-volunteer military (despite the bad decisions by our GOP leadership in places like Iraq), our openmindedness (again, at risk thanks to assholes like you) and I used to admire our leadership in the world—now I think our leadership is a disgrace, but that will change dramaticaly in November when Obama is elected President in a landslide so profound that maybe even you will have to rethink these illusions you think are reality.  But I don’t think America is perfect, and I welcome those who criticize it in order to try and make it a better place.  It’s sad that the right wing is so intolerant that anybody who dissents is labeled a traitor.  The founding fathers were dissenters.  It is our national duty to dissent when the government oversteps, as this one has.  But you have no understanding of what true patriotism is all about—it isn’t about the flag and the pledge of allegience, it’s about a love of freedom so powerful that I would not question your right to be among the most flaming assholes I have read in the blogosphere.

Semper fi.

This idiotic trailer gives me the opportunity to recommend this book: “Conservatize Me” by John Moe.
The sub-heading is: “How I tried to Become a Righty With the Help of Richard Nixon, Sean Hannity, Toby Keith, and Beef Jerky”.

http://www.amazon.com/Conservatize-Me-Lifelong-Leftys-Attempt/dp/0060854022/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1219004018&sr=1-1

In a weird way it’s similar to the premise of this movie, only it’s funny.

it isn’t about the flag and the pledge of allegience, it’s about a love of freedom so powerful that I would not question your right to be among the most flaming assholes I have read in the blogosphere.

You, MT from CC, are one the things I love about America.

Kudos on the great responses to Watergate, everyone, whether he deserves them or not.  I don’t have much to add, but when I think about what *I* love about America, it is the country’s diversity.  Working in an urban city, I am continually moved by the clash and cooperation of so many different cultures, races, languages, expressions of sexuality, and religions (or lack thereof, for those who want to live a completely secular life).  There are certainly many flaws and I don’t pretend to see America’s serious problems with segregation and bigotry in rose-colored glasses, nor how that bigotry has played out in the government itself.  But on good days, that is the country I feel most patriotic about.  It saddens me that this is the very “culture war” that right-wingers see as some mythic struggle of good vs. evil, true Americans vs. false Americans.

Back to the topic at hand: Am I the only one who thinks Bill O’Reilly’s cringe-inducing introduction is even funnier than the trailer? (Okay, just about ANYTHING would be funnier than the trailer, but still.)  I wonder if he did it LIVE!

In over 100 posts, I didn’t see an answer to my question:  What do you love about the United States of America other than scenery and the right to dissent?  It’s a serious question.

It’s actually an idiotic question, which is why nobody answered you.

Watergate:

In over 100 posts, I didn’t see an answer to my question: What do you love about the United States of America other than scenery and the right to dissent?

You didn’t see an answer to your question because nobody around here thinks for a second that you’re asking in good faith, in light of the first paragraph of your first comment in this thread. To be frank, I doubt anyone around here thinks you’re even capable of arguing in good faith. Whether that’s out of ignorance or malice is, for all intents and purposes, irrelevant.

Also, given what you’ve written subsequently, you seem to really enjoy (or just can’t help) saying things that are demonstrably untrue. That’s going to piss off most of those who weren’t immediately turned off by your initial disingenuousness.

Thank you to those who answered my question.  I am sincerely glad that you can articulate things you love about America.  Many cannot, unfortunately.  If you can’t articulate any reason you love a particular thing, idea, or even person, then you ought to question the existence of the love.

“And I hate to harp on this, but - bravery? How about the bravery of first responders and construction workers who ran towards the Towers on 9/11 not because of patriotism but because fellow humans needed their help?” I didn’t mean to say anything about the bravery of Americans inconsistent with this wonderful example.  From what we know, the passengers of United 93 were likely not thinking about some abstract notion of patriotism, but much more concrete thoughts about “fellow humans need[ing] their help.”  Such motivations have animated Americans for over two centuries, because we are, at heart, a good and decent people.  For those of you who agree with me on that point, that is all I ask.  For those of you who disagree, there isn’t much I can say.

Good night.

How about *this* Carol as an alternative?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carol_for_Another_Christmas

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057916/

The Plot Against Liberal America: http://www.commondreams.org/archive/2008/08/17/11040/

I don’t think it gets it quite right but it does show well enough the degree of hatred and contempt for the common man the money changers on the right have. I don’t think you can call it ‘libertarianism’ but it’s Bush and his crime cabal to a ‘t’.

So who really hates America? Isn’t it obvious?

I predict that the wingnuts will be screaming “liberal bias” when this one fails to get a single Oscar nomination.  (But I’ll bet it does well at the Razzies.)

People,
The Star Spangled Banner and the rockets’ red glare refer to the War of 1812.  So we weren’t exactly insurgents.  Carry on.

Mea culpa

(There was a war in 1812?)

Wategate opines: “If you can’t articulate any reason you love a particular thing, idea, or even person, then you ought to question the existence of the love.”

So… what do you love about your fellow Americans who are “liberal” (not of the ideology you hold dear to your heart); what do you love about the idea of “liberalism”?

Of all of the great things that liberals in America have accomplished, which of those accomplishments do you love the most?