I thought they wanted to force us to marry our dogs or something?

I must have an old copy of the feminist message, because mine tells me I that one of my roles as a father involves me being as active in my son’s life as I possibly can. Course, I’m a single father, so maybe I missed an appendix or an addedum to the feminist message covering my situation.

Kevin McCullough?  Where have I heard that name before?

Oh yeah, he’s the guy who called Mass Effect a rape simulator.

Tony Snow? This guy thinks Tony Snow is the beau ideal of masculinity?

Oh. My. God.

Bah, that second link goes the wrong place, their CMS seems to have some problems when they post comics at odd times.  Go here instead and page down to the second strip on the page.

Wait…I’m so confused…I thought feminism wanted men to be more involved in their family lives, by say doing their share of the housework and childcare so women could also pursue interests outside the home.

No?

My boyfriend and I have talked a lot of feminism, and I think he summed it up best: “Of course I’m a feminist.  Because I’m, you know, a reasonable person.”  Yeah, he’s a keeper.

Ummm, can I just ask WHAT IN Teh Goddess’ NAME all you men are doing on the internet right now?

I mean, it’s Sunday afternoon.  Surely you have some children you could be abandoning whilst enjoying an afternoon quickie with a neighbor (NOT your wife/girlfriend, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!) and enjoying a post-coital tea party or Sex And The City marathon. 

If you got time to be bloggin’, you got time for a floggin’ (by An Officially Certified And Feminist Approved Dominatrix© only, please)!

Wait, what?  I swear, this is worse than listening to George Lucas talk about Star Wars.

I love reading criticisms of feminism by people who clearly have no idea what feminism is. Like whatever attributes this person disapproves of get tacked on to the feminist agenda: “Feminists tells men not to be involved in their family’s lives, encourage double parking, and put empty milk cartons back in the fridge! Evil!”

Actually to many wingnuts:

To be involved in their family’s lives = to rule the home with an iron fist and maintain loyalty by by keeping your wife financially dependent on you.

Take responsibility for their sexual deeds = to always have sex without any contraception, bring on the babies!

To get in touch with one’s feminine side = to stop liking women since those cuh-RAZY women all hate each other.

When you read it with those definitions in mind then it actually makes sense- that is if you can get around the idea that words don’t mean what they actually mean.

Does this mean I’m keeping up my feminist credentials by taking an hour out of hanging out with the 3-year-old to read blogs?

I had the honor of staying with Amanda and Jill, during which point I had a come-to-Jesus talk with them.

See, that’s where you screwed up, feminism-wise.

“The basis for the book essentially is to help rebuild the kind of man that is quickly disappearing.”

I love lost-utoptia statements like this. Are you sure that that kind of man ever existed in large numbers in the first place? I doubt that they ever did.

Femminism is essentially a rorschach test for conservatives: depending on who they are, what ever they fear the most in women is what feminism(tm) is.

Amanda had an awesome post a few years back contrasting two conservative authors: one, a handsome man posed with shotgun and dog, complained that they were sex-phobic work-obsessed harpies who kept mocking him for being a pompous douchebag, the other was a pleasent, rather nerd-homly girl who had just gotten hired on wingnut wellfare, complaining that femminists and their pills and their guilt-free sex and the skanktastic looseness that charachterized the breed threatened the very pillars of romantic love and denied her access to decent men.

That being said, conservative deconstruction of modern masculinity is a somewhat different breed.

I thought they wanted to force us to marry our dogs or something?

Box turtles. It’s box turtles all the way down.

To be involved in their family’s lives = to rule the home with an iron fist and maintain loyalty by by keeping your wife financially dependent on you.

Exactly. If you’re not kissing a man’s ass and treating him like the god of your universe for deigning to come home every night, you might as well be pushing him out the door. Men can’t be blamed for not wanting to be involved with families who don’t worship them properly. 

To get in touch with one’s feminine side = to stop liking women since those cuh-RAZY women all hate each other.

I don’t think that’s where they’re going with that. “Feminine” means weak, stupid, cringing, and suppliant, and only someone who hated you would want you to get in touch with something so disgusting. You think they’re stupid enough to want to be treated the way they treat women?

Yes, men!  Get in touch with your nurturing, feminine side by abandoning your children and having indiscriminate sex to brag about!  Also a part of the feminist agenda: ball-scratching.  Lots and lots of ball-scratching.

My hands: fine.
Hands of specific sympathetic feminists with short nails: to be negotiated on an ad hoc basis.
Hands of be-taloned FemiNazi hoydens with annotated copies of SCUM Manifesto: DO NOT WANT!!

Curse the Feminist Agenda!

Oh, and I’m preeeeety sure “to not take responsibility for their sexual deeds,” means “forbid Teh Wimmens from having Teh Abortions”...

^Did you ever see the movie, Dumplings?

“The Kind of Man Every Man Should Be”—that pretty much sums up the Conservative worldview right there, doesn’t it?

Every man should be a particular kind of man (heterosexual, married, domineering, bread-winning).  Every woman should be a particular kind of woman (heterosubmissive, domesticated).  Every cop should be Irish and brutal.  Every butcher should be German and have a moustache.

They are obsessed with pattern and prototype, and can’t tolerate deviation or ambiguity.

To be involved in their family’s lives = to rule the home with an iron fist and maintain loyalty by by keeping your wife financially dependent on you.

But he also has to be away from home all day and for much of the night, only showing up for dinner so he can browbeat the little woman and the kids for not being good enough.

all i can say is:

SLACKER!!!

*giggles*