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Next entry: No, we don’t need a Sluts Anonymous Previous entry: Friday Genius Ten “Deluxe and Delightful” Edition

The Natural Path Of Wingnut

It has been known since the early 1980s that Wingnut, like Pi, never ends.  But it has never quite been determined if Wingnut eventually repeats in a predictable pattern such that one can say with a reasonable degree of certainty that Wingnut Form X will be taken in a reasonably small temporal window, or if Wingnut simply winds on endlessly, meandering into some terrible wilderness of the paranoid.

It can now safely be said that Wingnut is, in fact, a self-repeating function. 

First, some background.  Jack Cashill is a minor purveyor of Wingnut who has been advancing the theory that Bill Ayers wrote Dreams From My Father, largely based on the fact that both Obama and Ayers use commas and dates and were born in Indonesia or whatever.  This has been an exhaustive theory he’s worked to the point of counting syllables and sentence-length, which would make perfect sense as a way of comparing authorship if it, you know, were.  But at one point, Cashill and a world-reknowned person that Cashill knows come up with this theory:

Yavelow compares the two books on any number of other characteristics and concludes, “There is a strong likelihood that the author of Fugitive Days ghost-wrote Dreams From My Father using recordings of dialog (either tape recorded or notes). Alternatively, another scenario could be possible: Ayers might have served as a ‘book doctor’.”

Now, to the present.  As you might be aware, Christopher Andersen, author of American Evita: Hillary Clinton’s Path to Power just wrote a new book on the Obamas.  In it, homeboy says:

Andersen writes in his book that after Obama finally got a new contract to write a book, Michelle Obama suggested that her husband get advice “from his friend and Hyde Park neighbor Bill Ayers.”

Obama had not as yet written anything. But he had taped interviews with family members. Andersen writes: “These oral histories, along with a partial manuscript and a truckload of notes, were given to Ayers.”

Andersen’s contention is entirely unsourced, and bears no relation to anything that anyone who was in any way involved with the writing of the book has ever said.  In fact, it’s just Cashill’s assertion, with the words “Michelle Obama suggested” before it, which makes sense, because Michelle Obama is a sassy, bossy black woman and also does great hair.  It’s still fucking crazy, and the only source for the contention is someone who made it up using analysis from a piece of software whose only identifiable use has been to prove that Bill Ayers sold Barack Obama crack in college.

Of course, since we now have a situation where an author with little credibility made an unsourced reference to a blog by a WorldNetDaily writer (did I mention that?) who came up with a theory based on an $1800 version of your word processor’s “Info” function, the obvious thing to do is to

go get some wings and laugh at how silly it could be

treat it as SHOCKINGLY PROVEN.

Tom Maguire:

Are you kidding me?  The new puff piece about Barack and Michelle by Christopher Anderson actually includes the news that Bill Ayers wrote or co-wrote Dreams of My Father?

Bitter, bitter Robert Stacy McCain:

When you need Bill Ayers to ghost-write your first book for you . . .

. . . excuse us for not joining the adoring throng of elite journalists like David Brooks, who suppose that your well-creased pants suffice to qualify you as an eminent political philosopher.

Just sayin’ . . .

Major credit to Jack Cashill of American Thinker, who did the vetting that the MSM doesn’t do any more. And I just want to remind everyone that I am the founder of Authors Against Obama, organized in May 2008 as a protest by working writers against the sweetheart deal Obama got for his first book.

You, too can join his 22-person Facebook group...if you have the integrity.

Cashill himself just quotes Andersen quoting him, claiming that it “blows a huge hole” in the myth of Obama’s authorship.  It’s true, though, it does blow a huge something...

Allahpundit faces this problem head on, and by “head on”, I mean “running off the field into the bathroom, pulling out all the paper towels and then crying about not having any juice”:

Some might even argue that he reached his conclusion after reading Cashill’s original blog, without citing it. Andersen faces the same credibility problem Bob Woodward faces, since he is often charged with making outrageous charges in some of his books without offering any proof that conversations he could not have been privy to took place. But Woodward’s use of such a technique never has hurt his reputation. After all, he is Bob Woodward. Reviewers of Andersen’s book have had no compunction in labeling much of what he writes as pure ‘gossip.’”

...Yes.  That is his argument.

Wingnut has officially eaten itself and declared its own body the tastiest meal ever.  Now, for it to blame far-left liberals for the fact that so much of its own ass is missing.

 

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Posted by Jesse Taylor on 02:23 PM • (42) Comments

And as with so many other bizarre claims, we’re still left wondering: even if any of this far-fetched sourceless nonsense WERE true…. so what?

Comment #1: ladybronwyn  on  09/25  at  02:37 PM

I find myself vaguely disappointed that they couldn’t prove somebody more interesting and menacing than a sixty-something college professor wrote Dreams of My Father.  Surely there was some way to demonstrate that if you take Mein Kampf, translate it into French, then translate that into English, it has a similar number of definite articles and also uses active voice a lot?

Comment #2: preying mantis  on  09/25  at  02:37 PM

Fuck.

Bill Ayers wrote “Dreams of My Father” b/c Michelle told him to now has the strength of Kenyosity.  No wingnut will ever believe that Obama wrote that book now.

Not that they ever believed he did anyway.  He didn’t earn his degrees either—that was just Affirmative Action. 

Everyone knows he just reads off a teleprompter anyway.  When he’s not on screen, he speaks Ebonics and Jive while smoking crack and smacking Michelle around.

Comment #3: Caren-Sun-blocking Creator of Animorphic Pancakes  on  09/25  at  02:39 PM

“I just read on another web site that Glenn Beck supposedly raped and killed a girl back in the 1990’s.  I’m not saying he actually did it, I’m just saying that I read that on the internet and Beck has never denied it.”

Is this how it works?

Comment #4: BadKitty  on  09/25  at  02:55 PM

It is possible that Obama could have talked to Ayers about writing a book and even shared some of the notes and audio files he had. This makes sense because A) they were neighbors and friends and B) Ayers has written a couple of books. That’s what you do when you want to write books. You talk to others who have done it, to get advice and pointers. That doesn’t make Ayers a ghostwriter. It make shim one name in that list of Acknowledgments you often see printed at the back of books and for fuck’s sake why am I even bothering? Jesus, these people are mad.

Comment #5: Keith  on  09/25  at  02:56 PM

BadKitty - it has to undergo Wingnut Peer Review, which requires someone else repeating it without directly citing you.

Then it’s true.

Comment #6: Jesse Taylor  on  09/25  at  03:04 PM

Ooh! I started a couple Facebook groups, too. Pardon me while I go update my resume to reflect those accomplishments.

Comment #7: Orange  on  09/25  at  03:13 PM

I wanna know why no one is talking about whether or not Glenn Beck raped and murdered a teenage girl in the ‘90’s while on a cocaine binge, like I’ve seen talked about all over the blogosphere.  Are the MSM afraid of the truth?

I’ve also heard Glenn Beck’s middle name is Caligula.  If so, doesn’t that show he is a man of loose moral character?  Did his fellow Fox News host Bill O’Reilly give him any secret advice on the proper use of the loofah on willing (or unwilling) supplicants?

And isn’t it true that Glenn Beck wrote “Barack Obama” on the skin of a frog and then boiled it alive on air?  Isn’t that a federal crime?...

Comment #8: MikeEss  on  09/25  at  03:18 PM

I love the idea of capitalist authors of america protesting a “sweetheart deal” for Obama’s “ghostwritten” book.  Can’t wait until they find out that Socks didn’t really write her own book, either!  Socialism!

aimai

Comment #9: aimai  on  09/25  at  03:32 PM

I’m not even going to concede that Barack Obama knows how to read or write until I see a birth certificate.  This entire Presidency is a sham.

I mean, if Bill Ayers really did ghost write Barack Obama’s book, how am I supposed to support his health care plan?

Comment #10: Zifnab  on  09/25  at  03:34 PM

Oh come on. This PROVES that he didn’t write the book, which is deeply important, because his skill with words is widely cited as one of his most engaging qualifications, and compares to Bush and Palin and to a much lesser degree McCain’s lack of rhetorical skill.

Proving he can’t write a coherent statement would be valuable, especially if it is something he says he wrote. That would then throw his speechwriting/ speech editing skill into the easily attacked zone.

Once you get that idea going, the minor fact that we have a huge amount of him on film, going back years, proving he can speak won’t matter a damn.

And the real point? I’d love to say I am joking, but I fear not, would be that when we say, “This is ridiculous! How can you say he can’t speak or write coherently?!” the answer will be “Partisan politics! You people said the same thing about Bush!”

That and, if they can succeed in making speaking, writing, and thinking coherently something is is not required in a President, they can dust Palin off. Carrie Prejean for Secretary of State!

Comment #11: Lymis  on  09/25  at  03:35 PM

I wanna know why no one is talking about whether or not Glenn Beck raped and murdered a teenage girl in the ‘90’s while on a cocaine binge, like I’ve seen talked about all over the blogosphere.  Are the MSM afraid of the truth?

And here we see the so-called “left-wing” blogosphere gatekeepers who promote this insane conspiracy story of Glenn Beck having raped and murdered a teenage girl, therefore casting a shadow of doubt over legitimate investigations into the fact that Glenn Beck is secretly a part of Skull & Bones and the Bilderbergers, as well as a KKK Grand Dragon.

Comment #12: BlackBloc  on  09/25  at  03:35 PM

Not as good as Obama the Secret Muslim.

Comment #13: Lesly  on  09/25  at  03:36 PM

You do realize you just claimed that Wingnut is rational, right?

Even if there were reasonable evidence that a common author wrote both books, how can they be sure it was Ayers?

I say they were BOTH ghost-written. By magical leprechauns.

Comment #14: hanna  on  09/25  at  03:37 PM

I say Obama ghostwrote the Ayers book. It’s how he learned to be a Commie terrorist.

Comment #15: Orange  on  09/25  at  03:39 PM

”...therefore casting a shadow of doubt over legitimate investigations into the fact that Glenn Beck is secretly a part of Skull & Bones and the Bilderbergers, as well as a KKK Grand Dragon.”

Wait a minute!  I heard those are the bogus charges being thrown around by the Lefties to divert attention from the possibility that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a teenage girl in the ‘90’s while on a cocaine binge!

Wow, the conspiracies swirling around whether Glenn Beck raping and murdering a girl in the ‘90’s are even broader then we ever thought possible!...

And why aren’t we finding out whether Glenn Caligula Beck has had inappropriate sexual contact with barnyard animals, including goats?...

Comment #16: MikeEss  on  09/25  at  03:44 PM

I have it on the highest authority that Hillary can’t sing - so there’s no way she could be Evita.

Comment #17: NancyP  on  09/25  at  03:47 PM

Well, I’ve heard (not that I actually believe this, mind you) that Beck raped and murdered that girl while he wasn’t on a cocaine binge, but you shouldn’t listen to anything I say because my middle name is Marie, just like Marie Antoinette!

Comment #18: bananacat  on  09/25  at  03:49 PM

“I have it on the highest authority that Hillary can’t sing - so there’s no way she could be Evita.”

She lip-synced over Madonna’s singing.  I heard that record was one of the ones Glenn Beck liked to put on just before getting high on cocaine and then raping and murdering young girls back in the ‘90’s.  Then he would visit his favorite goat for a little R&R;...

Comment #19: MikeEss  on  09/25  at  03:51 PM

“Well, I’ve heard (not that I actually believe this, mind you) that Beck raped and murdered that girl while he wasn’t on a cocaine binge…”

Wow!  You mean Glenn Beck liked crystal meth too when he raped and murdered young girls in the ‘90’s?...

Comment #20: MikeEss  on  09/25  at  03:55 PM

“Wow!  You mean Glenn Beck liked crystal meth too when he raped and murdered young girls in the ‘90’s?…”

Don’t be ridiculous.  Glenn Beck preferred to be stone cold sober while he raped and murdered a girl in the ‘90s.

Comment #21: preying mantis  on  09/25  at  04:02 PM

“Book doctor”?

Isn’t that how editors explain their job to five-year-olds and idiots?

...Am I supposed to be pissed off that somebody DID edit a book?

*brain explodes*

Comment #22: thecynicalromantic  on  09/25  at  04:05 PM

And some wingnut has already added the “ghost-written” accusation to the Wikipedia page of “dreams of my father.”

I tried to add a paragraph noting that the book provided no evidence or concrete documentation, just speculation, but Wikipedia didn’t accept.

Comment #23: louC  on  09/25  at  04:08 PM

I say Obama ghostwrote the Ayers book. It’s how he learned to be a Commie terrorist.

Well, Orange, there’s <a >proof of that</a>, if you’re only willing to look.

But what’s more interesting is that Bill Ayers founded Pandagon and even wrote this post.

Comment #24: Michael Bérubé  on  09/25  at  04:31 PM

Let’s try that again!

Solid proof that Obama wrote Fugitive Days.

Yes, I know, the preview button is my friend.

Comment #25: Michael Bérubé  on  09/25  at  04:33 PM

Professor Bérubé, I don’t think we’re ready for the truth…

...okay, maybe I’m just speaking for myself here…

Comment #26: MikeEss  on  09/25  at  04:53 PM

This is a mast year for wingnuts.  Next year will be mast year for rodents, and then the predators will have their say.

Comment #27: Ms Kate  on  09/25  at  05:18 PM

Well, what do you expect for a bunch of people who have yet to explain whether or not Glen Beck raped and killed a girl in 1990.

Comment #28: Ms Kate  on  09/25  at  05:28 PM

Hey, I’ve seen FOUR different sources that state that Glenn Beck raped and murdererd girls in the 90s.

FOUR.  DIFFERENT.  SOURCES.


The fact that they are quoting one another and are all in this thread doesn’t matter.  I have 4 separate sources!  That proves something!  I know for a fact that NONE of these FOUR sources were gossipping, either!

Comment #29: Caren-Sun-blocking Creator of Animorphic Pancakes  on  09/25  at  05:29 PM

Oh Caren.  It’s so much worse than you think:

Take a look at The Google...

The possibility that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a girl in the ‘90’s is being speculated about all over the web…

Comment #30: MikeEss  on  09/25  at  05:49 PM

Now, nobody is saying that GLENN BECK ACTUALLY RAPED AND KILLED A GIRL, just that, you know, there are rumors to that effect.  The wingnuttery has never adequately explained whether or not GLENN BECK ACTUALLY RAPED AND KILLED A GIRL IN 1990, so that just adds to the conjecture.

Comment #31: Ms Kate  on  09/25  at  05:55 PM

I want to know why, if there’s a victim, the victim’s parents aren’t given equal time. 

After all, Glenn Beck has a whole TV network and a prime time show to divert attention from the question of whether or not he raped and murdered a girl in 1990. 

Remember, if there’s a victim, she isn’t around to confront her murderer and put in a word in her own defense.  What ever happened to victim’s rights in America?!?!?...

And what about the frog?...

Comment #32: MikeEss  on  09/25  at  06:07 PM

Sarah Palin has never fully denied her involvement in an international prostitituion ring, either.  Why won’t she respond to the allegations?

Comment #33: Ms Kate  on  09/25  at  06:08 PM

Oh.

I thought it ws just a joke.

But teh Google tells me there are 671,000,000 results for “glenn beck raped and killed a girl in the 90s”

671,000,000 web entries CANNOT BE WRONG.  IT HAS TO MEAN SOMETHING!!!11!!1!!11

If it’s not true, then why won’t he deny it?  Teh Google says he hasn’t denied it!

Comment #34: Caren-Sun-blocking Creator of Animorphic Pancakes  on  09/25  at  06:28 PM

“If it’s not true, then why won’t he deny it?  Teh Google says he hasn’t denied it!”

That’s the key fact, isn’t it.  I mean, it be smoke right now, but there’s so much of it there must be a fire in there somewhere. 

Besides, since we haven’t seen Glenn Beck’s birth certificate (it must be the long form or else it can’t be trusted, and it must be an original, and it must be subjected to first-class analysis by the best kerning experts in America) how do we even know he’s a Real American?  He might be an IslamoFascistTerraist who stole the identity of “Glenn Beck” just so he could fully infiltrate American Society and then pave the way for the IslamoFascist takeover of America! 

Is it irresponsible to speculate?  In an age where America is surrounded by threats to our fundamental values, it would be irresponsible not to…

Comment #35: MikeEss  on  09/25  at  06:39 PM

Oh, please. Acephalous already took this down. Why are they bringing it up again?

Comment #36: Rebecca  on  09/25  at  06:50 PM

Oh, please. Acephalous already took this down. Why are they bringing it up again?

You are talking about a group of people who regularly claim hippies lost us Vietnam, Reagan was the greatest president ever and that Bill Clinton was responsible for Waco. They don’t ever remember being proved wrong.

Comment #37: Matt T.  on  09/25  at  06:59 PM

You are talking about a group of people who regularly claim hippies lost us Vietnam, Reagan was the greatest president ever and that Bill Clinton was responsible for Waco.

You’re talking about a group of people who regularly claim that Bill Clinton was responsible for Ruby Ridge smile

Comment #38: rea  on  09/25  at  08:08 PM

Rational numbers either terminate or begin to repeat at some point.  Wingnut is not rational.  Therefore it can’t repeat.
Then again, I don’t think my lunch is rational when it repeats.

Comment #39: Woody25  on  09/25  at  09:03 PM

It is possible that Obama could have talked to Ayers about writing a book and even shared some of the notes and audio files he had. This makes sense because A) they were neighbors and friends and B) Ayers has written a couple of books. That’s what you do when you want to write books. You talk to others who have done it, to get advice and pointers. That doesn’t make Ayers a ghostwriter. It make shim one name in that list of Acknowledgments you often see printed at the back of books and for fuck’s sake why am I even bothering? Jesus, these people are mad.

Wooo-hooh - by wingnut standards, I’m now a Hugo winner!  Go me!!

And, really, does it matter if Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl back in the 90s?  I mean, it was a long time ago.  Can’t we move on without these time-wasting accusations?

Comment #40: Phoenician in a time of Romans  on  09/25  at  09:51 PM

But if wingnut is not rational, it does appear to converge in the short range.  Teh current theme is SCARY BLACK MAN THINKS HE IS PRESIDENT!!!

You would think they would spend more time worrying about the completely unanswered accusations and rumors that Glenn Beck raped and killed a girl in 1990, but no.

Comment #41: Ms Kate  on  09/26  at  12:37 AM

Ten bucks says Michelle Malkin is seething with anger (more than usual) right now. She hates being scooped.

Comment #42: CHV  on  09/26  at  02:20 PM
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