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Next entry: Fairies, wishes, and cowboys Previous entry: Video break: defending Daddy D

There Is No Cake

imageI bow to you, Jeff Goldstein.  You have redefined correctitude in my eyes, other random conservatives.  American Thinker, you smell like jasmine and sunshine.

However, you are all still idiots.

I know that remembering all the way back to five years ago is like super hard and stuff, but let’s remember why we went through Plamegate in the first place.  One of the central allegations of war supporters in 2002 was that Hussein was attempting to acquire new yellowcake and aluminum tubes for a centrifuge program…because it wouldn’t have the ability to produce weapons-grade material with the material we knew they had prior to the war. 

Contending that the presence of preexisting yellowcake is de facto evidence of the reinvigorated weapons program that was the cause for war is like contending that my recipe for fried fish is de facto evidence of the seafood restaurant I’m running.  I remember a few years back when every pro-war conservative declared that the real reason we went to war wasn’t anything that you’d recognize, but instead some bizarre ideal they pulled out of their asses between RNCC blogger calls and masturbatory uses of the word “fisking”. 

I miss the old days.  They were just as dumb, but a lot less predictable.

 

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Posted by Jesse Taylor on 04:53 PM • (22) Comments

Someone has to, so it may as well be me.

Are you trying to tell me that the cake was a lie?

Comment #1: Seebach  on  07/06  at  05:34 PM

Hell yeah the cake is a lie.

Comment #2: Mighty Ponygirl  on  07/06  at  05:43 PM

This post was a triumph

Comment #3: Karmakin  on  07/06  at  05:43 PM

I’m making a note here: “huge success.”

It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction.

Comment #4: Ken Cope  on  07/06  at  05:44 PM

When you wrote “there is no cake,” did you mean to mash it up with “there is no spoon?”

Comment #5: Ken Cope  on  07/06  at  06:02 PM

Saddam lived on earth. 
There are nuclear weapons on earth. 
Therefore, Saddam had nuclear weapons…from a certain point of view…

***

Isn’t there kerning involved here somewhere?

I want kerning, dammit!...

Comment #6: MikeEss  on  07/06  at  06:08 PM

Isn’t there kerning involved here somewhere?

Kerning has nothing to do with Saddam, that’s Dan Rather and Dubya’s National Guard records.

Comment #7: Ken Cope  on  07/06  at  06:16 PM

This post needs video.

Comment #8: MaryL  on  07/06  at  06:28 PM

How sad that Goldstein’s posts make more sense when he’s channeling talking oatmeal. I blame it on both nuance and the graduate school he dropped out of.

Comment #9: tbogg  on  07/06  at  06:31 PM

Ken, I was trying to make a joke.

The wingnuts pick up one technical word from the printer’s trade, assume they understand it completely, assume the rest of us don’t, and then use it to attack a specific document, and then extrapolating doubts about that document into a claim that this disproves something that still hasn’t been disproved - i.e. GWB failed to complete his TANG obligations.

So it’s symbolic of a wingnut attitude toward evidence, logic, and proof.

A more current example relates to them trying to stir shit up over Obama’s birthplace and his birth certificate...

Comment #10: MikeEss  on  07/06  at  06:41 PM

Come on, I saw Mos Def and that old holla dude handlin’ that shit.

Comment #11: norbizness  on  07/06  at  06:45 PM

trying to make a joke

I was just trying to help make sure nobody else missed it. Thanks for tying together yellowcake, kerning, and birth certificates. They must think people are really stupid, but then, so many of them really are…

Look at me, still talking, while there’s science to do…

Comment #12: Ken Cope  on  07/06  at  06:57 PM

You’ve missed the best lines from the Portal credits song….

We do what we must, because we can.
For the good of all of us,
Except the ones who are dead.

But there’s no use crying over every mistake
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake,
And the Science gets done, and we make a neat gun
For the people who are still alive.

Seriously, in its total self-absorption and narcissism (“you don’t even care, do you?”), isn’t GlaDOS the quintessential neo-con?

Comment #13: sunsin  on  07/06  at  07:17 PM

Hell yeah the cake is a lie.

Not a lie, just left out in the rain.

Comment #14: MAJeff, the God of Biscuits  on  07/06  at  08:34 PM

I’ll be hanging from the hope that I’ll never see that recipe again.

Comment #15: Jrod  on  07/06  at  10:17 PM

Does anybody else really want cake right now?

Comment #16: hbsweet, empress of ice cream  on  07/07  at  02:09 AM

We have a winner!

Comment #17: David  on  07/07  at  05:00 AM

Hah, Tbogg, you dolt.  Goldstein’s post never make sense.  Only his diamond-edged, cold-hearted rage makes sense. 

By the way, if his mind-numbed robots venture over and start throwing stoopid all over the place, you’ll wish you have never brought up cake.

Comment #18: timb  on  07/07  at  02:52 PM

Jesse (sigh), you should know better than to step up to Goldstein. Go over and check out his response to your silliness. It’s like a lamb to the slaughter

Comment #19: Bwana  on  07/07  at  03:16 PM

Bwana, I agree, Goldstein’s response is very much like a slaughterhouse lamb bleating about calculus.

Why didn’t the UN remove the yellowcake? Well, for one reason, it belonged to Iraq, it wasn’t the UN’s to take. Second, no country is forbidden the possession of uranium for purposes of creating nuclear energy (the NPT specifically grants that right, which is one of the reasons the situation in Iran is tricky). Third, our “good solid intelligence” (that Bush praised so highly) said that Saddam wasn’t likely to work with terrorists, except, possibly, if he had nothing left to lose.

Goldstein references Wilson as if Wilson’s trip to Niger had anything to do with the already-accounted-for yellowcake. Goldstein pretends the IAEA was powerless, when they were the ones who forced the confrontation with Saddam that led to the bombing and refusal to allow the inspections to continue (basically, the IAEA was too good, and Saddam realized he couldn’t fox them).

“Nothing is totally worthless,” goes an old joke, “at worst, it can always serve as a bad example”. But Goldstein’s two pieces have so much misinformation, and so little good information, that they can’t really serve as a very good bad example… it’s hard to point to any one thing wrong with them without finding yourself distracted by all the other things wrong with them.

Comment #20: LongHairedWeirdo  on  07/07  at  04:08 PM

Oh, Bwana, it’s like…something. 

I think, though, it’s more like a bunch of circle-jerking retards from the group home all gathering to stare into a toilet at the alpha male’s big poo.  That’s not exactly something to be proud of, although watching Goldstein jump and down, screeching at liberals before threatening them, and then banning them is entertaining.  Almost as entertaining as the whiny: “I allow dissent.  I let that person disagree with half-wits like “JD”, “Spies, Brigands and Pirates”, or “Karl” for like ten minutes.”

The lesson is you don’t make eye contact with a loon, as this loon must assert his dominance.

I predict sashal will be safe, since he is clearly no smarter than Collins or Karl, so MMA boy can toy with him.  Progghero, though, he is toast.  Goldstein’s mighty angry and his spittle-flecked followers are jumping at his every command.

P.S. The sycophant of a fool who calls himself boss?  Just wonderful comedy.

Comment #21: timb  on  07/07  at  04:13 PM

MaryL,

No offense, but only GlaDos’s version will do:

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6ljFaKRTrI

GlaDos sort of reminds of me of what’s her name - Monica Goodling. My first reaction when I saw her testimony about declaring allegiance to Bush was “what a cute little Nazi!”.


to get even more OT - anyone else notice how the short that played with WALL-E was a total rip-off of Portal?

Funny, nonetheless.


and, back on OT:

these guys are like Alzheimer’s patients - wait a little while, show them the same damn stuff in a slightly different context, and they think they’ve discovered something brand new. I can’t to see what the next version of “ZOMG! yellowcake! we wuz right!” looks like.

Comment #22: mario  on  07/07  at  05:14 PM
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