Login

Register

Member List

RSS Feed

Amanda | Contact

Auguste | Contact

Jesse | Contact

Pam | Contact

Next entry: Bamboo Reviews: Reading Lolita in Tehran Previous entry: So it’s come to this

This Is The Gamechanger

In-depth genealogical research into the mysterious past of Barack Hussein Obama has turned up a BOMBSHELL that will change the nature and scope of this campaign forever. 

In 1979, Barack Hussein Obama graduated from the elite liberal Punahou High School and needed to go to college.  Surely driven by the Communist leanings instilled into him by noted Marxist Frank Marshall Davis, Hussein Obama matriculated to Los Angeles’ Occidental College, a “liberal arts” (ha!  I love the euphemistic way in which they refer to their Stalinesque indoctrination tactics) school where he first began cementing the radical ideology that drives him today.

However, he only stayed at Occidental College for two years before transferring all the way across the entire continent of the United States to New York’s Columbia University.  Why would he trade in one liberal school for another all the way across the country?  Our research staff has not shown a tie between terrorist William Ayers and Hussein Obama until shortly after he arrived in New York, so what was it? 

Hussein Obama was running away from something.  What would force The One to run from a sunny liberal paradise, much like the ones he grew up in, to run away to the cold, snowy hell of New York City? 

BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA HAS A LOVE CHILD

FACT: Barack Hussein Obama would have arrived in Los Angeles in the summer of 1979.

FACT: Barack Hussein Obama admits to drug use during his college years, but is never clear about when his drug use started.

FACT: A Hawaiian-raised, Indonesia-bred Kenyan boy with a white mother would have been in deep need of getting in touch with his black side.

FACT: Compton has many black people and drugs.

FACT: This is a picture of Barack Obama.  He is between 6’2” and 6’3”, skinny and has a great outside jumper.  Note his facial structure:

image

FACT: This is a picture of Detroit Pistons forward Tayshaun Prince, who is 6’9”, skinny and has a great outside jumper.  Note the undeniable facial similarity between Prince and Obama:

image
TAYSHAUN OBAMA X?????????

FACT: Tayshaun Prince was born in February of 1980.  That places his conception date in the summer of 1979 -

EXACTLY WHEN BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA WOULD HAVE BEEN ARRIVING IN LOS ANGELES AND LOOKING TO SCORE SOME BLOW

This is incontrovertible evidence that wealth-spreader OBAMA left a love child behind in California.  When will the Lamestream Media cover this ironclad logical chain?  Will it be before it’s TOO LATE?

------

Registration is now required! We're still in the process of getting it all squared away, so for the moment don't forget to Login or Register using the links in the upper left menu before starting to write your comment.

Posted by Jesse Taylor on 07:58 AM • (68) Comments

Yes, but where do the reptilians that secretly rule the world come into it?

Comment #1: Sophist FCD  on  11/02  at  08:55 AM

Love it! Jesse, but you do realize that these parodies will end up in the “panic and desperation” reports of the wingnutters as fact?  Wait for it…..3- 2- 1.

After all Palin got that call from Sarkozy. gigglesnort

Comment #2: phylosopher  on  11/02  at  10:26 AM

Jesse, you’ve convinced me.  Wow!  The existence of an Obama love child could totally change the entire political landscape!  We’ve got to keep this quiet…

All we need is for some of those wingnut creeps — who like to read Pandagon because of a deeply disturbing obsession with Amanda — to pick this up and spread it through the wingnut blogosphere and it’s all over.

I really wish you’d kept this on the DL.  Now the future of our Blackazoid-created wonderland of awesome negrosity is seriously threatened…

Comment #3: MikeEss  on  11/02  at  11:13 AM

Some really high-grade coffee just spurted through my nose.

Comment #4: BetsyTX  on  11/02  at  11:36 AM

Is America ready for a President who wasn’t chaste before marriage?

Comment #5: Phoenician in a time of Romans  on  11/02  at  11:52 AM

This provides further proof for the “Malcom X is Barack Obama’s father” theory.  Like both Malcom X and Barack Obama (but unlike Obama’s “father” and Prince’s “grandfather”), Mr. Prince does not speak Kenyan.

There is another interesting thing to note here.  It is a well-known principle that in the ghetto, either one slings crack rock or one has a wicked jump shot.  Since Obama would’ve had to have had a wicked jump shot at the time of conception, we can safely conclude that at that point in his life, he was merely a user, not a slinger, of crack rock, and the actual dealing didn’t start till his New York years.

Comment #6: norm chompsky  on  11/02  at  11:57 AM

But John McCain (born in latin america) is Fidel Castro’s love child, from a youthful indiscretion in the Canal Zone, and in fact is a secret half-brother of Manuel Noriega.  The only reason that Noriega languishes in federal custody is to keep him from spilling the beans on McCain. The fonts on McCain’s panamanian birth certificate will prove it!!!1!!!uno!!

And, and and…does this mean that Obama can score some *really*good* NBA tickets? ‘Cause that would be cool.

Comment #7: Snarki, child of Loki  on  11/02  at  12:00 PM

Very clever, young socialism apologist.  Take the true story and publish as satire, discrediting it before it even gets out.  Vince Foster must have gotten to you and explained the secrets of the Democratic party before Hillary Clinton had him murdered.  That you were only 11 at the time just shows how the evil Democrats indoctrinate their children. 

How do we know that this satire is the real truth?  Because we have incontrovertible evidence that you and Barack Obama are BFF who share all your darkest secrets and pressure your love children to marry so you have a secret family together.  Here’s the proof.  Did you think you could hide it forever in the folds of a Facebook account?

Comment #8: Amanda Marcotte  on  11/02  at  12:04 PM

Snarki, I’m sure that when you’re about to be President, the NBA would do you favors anyway. wink

Comment #9: Amanda Marcotte  on  11/02  at  12:05 PM

Be careful Jesse, any minute now you’ll be linked approvingly by No Quarter.  And what if some low-information voters read this, huh, what then?

Comment #10: charles  on  11/02  at  12:21 PM

In 1979, Barack Hussein Obama graduated from the elite liberal Punahou High School and needed to go to college.

You omitted the word “private” from “elite liberal Punahou…”  Unless one has had a scholarship to go there, one’s parents/relatives had to pay a pretty penny for them to attend.  Also, if an older cousin who attended that private school was any indication, liberal would be the last adjective I’d use to describe that institution…..

However, he only stayed at Occidental College for two years before transferring all the way across the entire continent of the United States to New York’s Columbia University.  Why would he trade in one liberal school for another all the way across the country?

Maybe to bolster his centrist cred.  Unless several friends and relatives from California who have known of or attended one or both institutions….Columbia is more conservative than Occidental…unless Occidental took a hard swing to the right over the past decade or so…..

Also, considering the large numbers of conservative students I’ve met on the Columbia campus during my visits there in the ‘90s and more recently Ron Paul libertarians, I doubt “liberal” would be an accurate label to describe Columbia….. ;P

Comment #11: exholt  on  11/02  at  12:33 PM

After all Palin got that call from Sarkozy. gigglesnort

phylosopher on 11/02 at 09:26 AM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When she took that call in the first place, and then that call went into its 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th minute and she didn’t catch on - and her staff didn’t either - a chill went up my spine.

One heartbeat away from the Oval Office?  I think not…

Comment #12: Beast  on  11/02  at  12:41 PM

Let’s see:  Two eyes, yep.  One nose, got it.  One mouth.  Could it be?  Is it?  Yeessss.  A match.  Nice work.

Comment #13: AtticusinPa  on  11/02  at  12:47 PM

All this shows is that it is too late.  With the NBA on his side the fix must be in.  I mean who better to fix a game or an election than David Stern?

Comment #14: Rob  on  11/02  at  12:48 PM

Interesting - Ms Kate looked into a 3/2 program between Occidental and Columbia ... such schemes were common at the time for people who didn’t have the cash to pull four straight years at an Ivy.  Looks like Barack used his Blackazoid Mojo to get three years out of two!

Comment #15: Zog  on  11/02  at  12:57 PM

Is America ready for a President who wasn’t chaste before marriage?

You kidding?  As an undergrad, I’d have chaste that!

Comment #16: Ms Kate  on  11/02  at  12:58 PM

Interesting - Ms Kate looked into a 3/2 program between Occidental and Columbia ... such schemes were common at the time for people who didn’t have the cash to pull four straight years at an Ivy.  Looks like Barack used his Blackazoid Mojo to get three years out of two!

I thought 3/2 programs were for people who were planning to study 3 years at a liberal arts college/branch of university before transferring to and spending the last 2 years at an engineering school to obtain a BA/BS from the liberal arts college/branch and a BSE from the engineering school. 

Unless the press has missed something, I don’t think Obama was an engineering major at Columbia…..

There is also a well-known “secret” among classmates who applied/attended Columbia….Columbia College…the undergrad liberal arts branch of CU was much harder to get into than Columbia Engineering.  Several classmates applied for admission into Columbia Engineering just so they could use the mere formality of an internal transfer process to gain backdoor admission to Columbia College.  Don’t know if that still holds today, however.

Comment #17: exholt  on  11/02  at  03:06 PM

Tayshaun is very consistent, he’s a clutch shooter and he has a very calm demeanor on the court and rarely makes a wrong move.  He’s also a shut down defender.  So, I’d say he has a lot in common with his daddy.

Comment #18: Mark B  on  11/02  at  04:02 PM

Wait a sec. Do we know that Jesse isn’t also Obama’s secret love child?

Comment #19: Frederick  on  11/02  at  04:05 PM

When she took that call in the first place, and then that call went into its 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th minute and she didn’t catch on - and her staff didn’t either - a chill went up my spine.

When the red phone rings at 3 a.m., Palin’s going to pick it up to hear someone asking if her refrigerator is running.

Comment #20: g  on  11/02  at  04:49 PM

My God, no wonder they had to kill Vince Foster!

Comment #21: Alan in SF  on  11/02  at  04:51 PM

PS:  I haven’t seen any conclusive evidence that Isiah Thomas wasn’t involved, which would explain his recent “sleeping pills” problem.  And last year’s Knicks, as well.

Comment #22: Alan in SF  on  11/02  at  04:54 PM

I’m sure I read this on Red State a week ago.

Comment #23: Charles  on  11/02  at  04:55 PM

This is incontrovertible evidence that you should be doing GOTV instead.

Comment #24: MarkC  on  11/02  at  04:59 PM

If this is true, then McCain just lost Kentucky.

They take their hoops seriously down there, and Tayshaun is a beloved former UK Wildcat.

Comment #25: oruacat2  on  11/02  at  05:13 PM

wow…  you must have smoked some seriously good shit to write this stuff.  you need to up your meds dude.  you are CRAZY.  as for the guy with the blackazoid comment, send me your address, would love to chat with you in person about your attitude.

Comment #26: wtf  on  11/02  at  05:14 PM

Isn’t it obvious that Obama attended _Occidental_ College as a way to establish his Western Civilization bona fides—hoping to distract us all from his “Oriental” origins?  But we’re on to you, Barack.

Comment #27: FlipYrWhig  on  11/02  at  05:20 PM

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

Please tell me Jerome Corsi is on the case!!!!

Prettty PLEEEEEEEZE!!!!!!!!!!

The bigger the crazy, the better our chances!!!!

Comment #28: Southern Beale  on  11/02  at  05:52 PM

Pssst! “wtf” you don’t need to make threats ‘cuz it’s all a joke… it’s satire, it’s…

never mind.

Comment #29: truthbetold  on  11/02  at  06:05 PM

What similarities?

Comment #30: jill  on  11/02  at  06:06 PM

wtf: LURK MOAR.

Comment #31: Damian  on  11/02  at  06:07 PM

I’ll admit, I thought this post was real at first. You never know how insane the anti-Obama crowd will get. Good parody!

Comment #32: Raphael Alexander  on  11/02  at  06:09 PM

If “This Is the Gamechanger” - then two questions:

[1] What game did you change from?

[2] What game did you change to?

Room-temperature-IQ minds want to know.

Comment #33: dmhlt  on  11/02  at  06:14 PM

what a stupid pos wanking post. jeebus. and atrios sent me here for this? gd. that’s 20 seconds of my life that i’ll never get back. wonder why atrios keeps this site on his blogroll. makes no sense to me.

Comment #34: Oh I Get It !! Mocking Satire !! That's Cute !!  on  11/02  at  06:15 PM

They are both leftist-handed too.

And there’s this from an HBO special, “[Obama] described himself as “a slasher, a three, maybe a poor man’s Scottie Pippen or Tayshaun Prince—a guy like that without as much talent.’’ Aha!

Alas, a long hard slog of about 5 seconds on Google yields hit #1 for ‘Tayshaun Prince parents’, a family profile of Tayshaun Prince reveals that Thomas Prince Sr. is Tay’s father and deserves all the credit for his fine son.

Still, the kerning is suspect enough here that I’d run with the story…

Comment #35: joejoejoe  on  11/02  at  06:26 PM

“Still, the kerning is suspect enough here that I’d run with the story…”

...it really is the little things that trip up these conspiracies, isn’t it.  And the Obama people seem less aware of the critical part accurate kerning plays than most, especially the Clintons.

People, people, people!  Be sure your kerning will find you out!...

Comment #36: MikeEss  on  11/02  at  06:33 PM

Yes, but where do the reptilians that secretly rule the world come into it?

Dick Cheyney has been preparing military bases in tunnels 35 miles beneath the crust of the earth in preperation for the “Black Messiah” reptile overlord.  Recovered classified top secret documents prove that Boxcar Willie was zombified in a reptilian cocoon and will be forced to be Obama’s Grand Vizir and who will be in charge of forcing all Christianists to gay marry in mass weddings conducted by Sun Yung Moon.  Then, the forced abortions begin.

THIS IS REALITY, PEOPLE!  WAKE UP BEFORE IT’S TWO LATE!!!!11!!

Comment #37: Rugged in Montana  on  11/02  at  06:33 PM

So Tayshaun Prince is Malcolm X’s grandson… wow.

Comment #38: npr  on  11/02  at  06:47 PM

Yeah, but what kind of countertops does Tayshaun have?

Comment #39: Loneoak  on  11/02  at  06:58 PM

Wait a sec. Do we know that Jesse isn’t also Obama’s secret love child?

Eh. Have you seen Jesse’s jump shot?  Not a chance.

Comment #40: Loneoak  on  11/02  at  07:00 PM

This is in the “they all look alike to me” category.

Comment #41: NancyP  on  11/02  at  07:16 PM

Awesome snarkage - this is a pretty convincing facsimile of the crystal meth-grade lunacy that you would see on a site like LGF and Free Republic.  I predict that the deranged racists over at Larry Johnson’s No Quarter site will link to this post thinking that it’s the real deal.

Comment #42: Big Tex  on  11/02  at  07:26 PM

Actually, I think your logic is a bit too coherent (and your spelling a bit to accurate) for this to qualify as legitimate wingnuttery.  Also, it is the law in the wingnuttosphere that HUSSEIN must always be written in all caps. 

Minor quibbles aside, awesome post.

Comment #43: Captain Bathrobe  on  11/02  at  07:41 PM

Am I the only one who can’t wait to turn on Fox News when Obama gets 270?

Comment #44: Ben D.  on  11/02  at  07:45 PM

This story has it all wrong. It was the Illuminati that ordered their operative to switch from Occidental to Columbia.

Comment #45: CaptainVideo  on  11/02  at  08:15 PM

Am I the only one who can’t wait to turn on Fox News when Obama gets 270?

PLEASE record that.  I think an edited highlights of Fox reactions as that long dark night of their stunted souls wears on would be friggin’ hilarious.

Comment #46: Phoenician in a time of Romans  on  11/02  at  08:16 PM

I don’t have a DVR Phoenician, sadly, but I am thinking of starting up a blog and liveblogging it just for the occasion.

But someone will have it on YouTube.

I bet my girlfriend $100 Hannity says a career-ending racial slur before Election Night is over.

Comment #47: Ben D.  on  11/02  at  08:20 PM

Tay would probably also be the first love child to make more than his millionaire daddy.

Comment #48: gjdodger  on  11/02  at  08:38 PM

Phonecian, you have a better shot of catching the live footage at the appointed (likely deity-deficient) hour, given the time difference between here and Enzed.

Comment #49: Ms Kate  on  11/02  at  08:54 PM

I, for one, welcome our wicked jump-shot overlords.

Comment #50: pbg  on  11/02  at  08:57 PM

re: hannity:  Racial slur, sure, but career-ending?  Cockroaches are tougher to kill than that.

Comment #51: Eric, Rejector of Memez  on  11/02  at  09:14 PM

Eric—

It did it for George Allen.

Comment #52: Ben D.  on  11/02  at  09:24 PM

Phonecian, you have a better shot of catching the live footage at the appointed (likely deity-deficient) hour, given the time difference between here and Enzed.

Madam, I am old, and tired, and would fain fall asleep.  Also, I Killed My TV two decades ago, and never looked back.

Comment #53: Phoenician in a time of Romans  on  11/02  at  09:25 PM

Also, I Killed My TV two decades ago, and never looked back.

You are stronger than I.

Comment #54: Ben D.  on  11/02  at  09:28 PM

and atrios sent me here for this?

I’m pretty sure Atrios would be the first to tell you that you don’t have to read something just because he tells you to.

Comment #55: Auguste  on  11/02  at  10:00 PM

Well, I knew he wasn’t a real Progressive.  Finally a reason to vote for the guy.  I mean, up til now the main thing going for him was that he was not going to die of apoplexy two months into office.  I just don’t think I could get used to following the pledge of allegiance with a rousing “heil Palin!” every morning…could you?

Comment #56: greensmile  on  11/02  at  10:44 PM

Pam Geller came close, but missed it in the clutch.

Who else was black, skinny, from Seattle, and had a pyrotechnical ability to dazzle large crowds?

Barack Obama is Jimi Hendrix’s secret love child.

Comment #57: MikeN  on  11/03  at  01:21 AM

This explains why Obama is doing so well in Michigan.

Comment #58: J.V.  on  11/03  at  02:05 AM

Hmm… where was Matt Drudge 9 months before Jesse was born? wink

Comment #59: Samantha Vimes  on  11/03  at  07:39 AM

Oh my god…he’s totally teh love CHAILD!

...even though they look nothing alike. At all.

Comment #60: Lindsay  on  11/03  at  08:56 AM

Aren’t they both lefties, too?

Comment #61: aviatrix  on  11/03  at  09:13 AM

I am Obama’ s love child. I was adopted by a white family from Kentucky and am doing relatively ok.
HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

Comment #62: Anthony Look  on  11/03  at  04:12 PM

A. Occidental - Supply sider Jack Kemp’s school

B. Any idea how hard it is to get from Eagle Rock to Compton without a car?

Comment #63: Dr. Squid  on  11/03  at  04:49 PM

Cool site, autor zzot!! ))


<a href = “http://mp3downloadstv.mp3facecontrol.com/index.php?id=220425&key=annie-mac-mash-up-12-january-2007mp3-download”>annie mac mash up (12 january 2007) mp3 download</a>

Comment #64: pilsener mp3  on  11/04  at  01:31 AM

Thank you, I really helped your post)


<a href = “http://mp3downloaddriven.mp3facecontrol.com/index.php?id=51694&key=paris-issue-some-love-mp3-download”>paris issue some love mp3 download</a>

Comment #65: eminem's dj  on  11/04  at  01:31 AM

look what I show you on my website


<a href = “http://audiomanner.mp3facecontrol.com/index.php?id=379375&key=various-artists-celtic-legend-mp3-download”>various artists celtic legend mp3 download</a>

Comment #66: sca mp3  on  11/04  at  03:27 AM

Hello, glad to see you))


<a href = “http://musicdistant.mp3facecontrol.com/index.php?id=380567&key=david-dunne-hed-kandi-7-april-2007mp3-download”>david dunne hed kandi (7 april 2007) mp3 download</a>

Comment #67: jenerik mp3  on  11/04  at  03:27 AM
Page 1 of 1 pages
Commenting is not available in this channel entry.