I hate commercials in general, so it’s no surprise that I hated this year’s Superbowl ads on the whole. The best they got was when they didn’t anger me, and that didn’t happen often. Who’d have ever guessed that the Go Daddy commercials would be middle-of-the-pack in the great Misogyny Race?

Re: The women’s heart attack ad. I noticed, too, that even though the ad spoke directly to women (making it obvious that they were acknowledging that there were women watching the Super Bowl), they still had a hot guy giving the message - which came across to me as pretty damn condescending and ownership-based.

As though a woman might not have bothered to notice or deal with heart disease in order to live her own life or achieve her own dreams, but would leap off the couch once she realizes that dying might inconvenience the man in her life.

Well by hot guy, it was the rookie QB of the Jets.

Can’t you understand that every man sitting on the couch watching the game is secretly terrified that the Feminist Militia is going to break down the door at any moment to force him to go shopping with his spouse? The FLo TV ad lets those terrified men relax and keep shouting “More chips, honey!”, secure in the knowledge that even if their loutish behavior gets the horrific punishment it deserves they will be able to keep watching The Game. Their bodies may be chained to the shopping cart, but their spirits will be free.

The best part is, Mark Sanchez was accused of rape as an undergrad at USC.  He loves us wimmin so much he just can’t keep his weenie where it belongs, allegedly of course!

That Dodge commercial was just awful.  If it is so fucking hard for those dudes to pretend to be nice to their wives/girlfriends, DTMFA already.  No one is forcing you to stay in a relationship with a yucky, icky girl if you don’t want to be there! Thanks to Craigslist you can live the dream of anonymous, commitment-free sex with no obligation to pretend you like her silly icky girly friends!

Watch that the right-wing turn the Audi commercial into some sort of “warning”, they have been known to take jokes through “political incorrectness” and turn them into gospel.

I have never been a fan of businesses going “green”, I think it’s an attempt to avoid government regulation and there’s always a chance for “green washing.” Businesses for the most part only become eco-conscious for good publicity and not because they care about the environment.  This market-driven attitude is the original cause of the problem and it is not the solution to the environmental threat.

Well, at least there was a great football game somewhere hidden among the craptastic commercial suckfest. Good job Saints!!!! You too, Colts - but I’m glad the Saints won this one.

Well, if these ads were designed for an exclusively male audience, when women won’t be watching (since it is assumed that American football supporters are all men) with their eagle eyes for sexism, then American advertisers really do think that men hate women.

The Super Bowl?  Are they still running that stupid game?  Do people really watch it?  Football is so freaking boring.  Also, if the commercials are as described, then they’re deeply offensive to men, as well.  The men in those commercials are all cafones.  I’m not a cafone and neither are my male friends, even the ones who watch football.

The Flo TV spots make me think, once again, that there are no women in some companies marketing departments.  See also: the iPad and “Are you there, God?  It’s me, Marketing.”

At least it was a good game--I know you can’t give the MVP award to the head coach, but Sean Payton’s the MVP of the game.

It was really awesome.  We were pretty sure the Saints were doomed in the beginning, but they pulled it out.  It was really great to see.  And in case you weren’t happy enough about it, consider that some wingnuts actually went there, decrying the support for the Saints because if you want nice things for New Orleans, it makes you a pansified piece of shit.

It’s funny because everyone was so fucking hyped up and ready to go apeshit about the Tebow ad.

DBK, are you fucking serious?

DBK

I think the ten highest rated broadcasts since 2000 have been the ten Super Bowls.

I watched with 8 people.  Four were really watching the game.  Two sort of watching, but did not really care.  Two were there for the food, drink and company.  I’m guessing that’s a fairly normal distribution.

Lotta happy people when the Saints intercepted that pass for a TD, including me.

Good for NO.  We loved it, but I can’t be optimistic about recovery there.  When we visited, we were told by several locals that NO is the most corrupt city ANYWHERE.  As someone from “Jersey,” I’m not so sure, but I’m glad they had something to party about last night.

Tebow ad seemed pretty mild after all the pre-game talk.  If there had been no pre-game talk, it would hardly have been noticed, I think.  It was barely noticed among the group I was with, none of whom are Libertarians, except me.  Couple of liberals who said, “that’s it?”

Other ads?  The usual mindless TV nonsense.  I know you focus on the women.  The men are not exactly made out to be rocket scientists.  Most are pretty insulting to anyone with a brain.

Missed the Super Bowl. Our neighborhood had a “Precious” marathon, showing the movie over and over again all day.

BTW, Doritos wants you to know that the three year old boy *owns* both his doritos and his mom’s pussy.

I do, however, like the Dove ad - you’ve gone through life challenges, you are a man, who’s going to call you unmanly because you like your skin to feel nice?

That Dodge ad was scary. All of those guys looked about 5 minutes away from snapping and killing their significant others. The anger in the VO was palpable. Creepy.

Also, I love Doritos (also Diet Coke - yes, I do prefer fake chemicals to anything else) and their ads were not only dumb, but they didn’t make Doritos look appealing. I don’t understand how they managed that.

The Tebow ad tried really hard to be innocuous, but they didn’t stop to think about what it symbolizes to have Tim Tebow tackle his mom while she’s trying to talk, which I found kind of funny.

Maybe if the macho he-men in these ads actually had the agency and independence to stand up to their domineering and shrewish wives (who are, in reality, stand-ins for the corporate bosses these schlubs have a love-hate relationship with), they’d actually be able to say “no, I’d prefer to stay home and watch the game on Sunday.” Instead, they’re reduced to sneaky, childish behaviour—the equivalent of a petulant child teaching mommy who’s boss by sneaking around with a forbidden Nintendo DS.

I’d agree with the person in the earlier thread who highlighted the Dove for Men commercial as being effective in addressing its target audience on a number of levels. I also liked the Intel ad with that poor robot, and the wil.i.am re-mix of “My Generation,” which managed to incorporate footage of some dark historical events without being exploitative.

I’m glad the mediocre Tebow ad drained the coffers of Focus on the Fascism—I doubt it accomplished anything beyond drumming up Dobson’s name due to the controversy in the weeks before the game. The ad itself was as brainless as you’d expect from that outfit:  “thanks for giving birth to me, Mom—I may be a QB but I’m now gonna show my gratitude by tackling you.”

The Super Bowl?  Are they still running that stupid game?  Do people really watch it?  Football is so freaking boring.

I’m not a major pro football fan, in large part because it’s a sport almost designed for live broadcast TV with commerical breaks. So I don’t usually bother with the Super Bowl.

The DVR really changes the experience for the better, though: my buddy and I met up around kick-off time, grabbed a leisurely dinner out (and not at a sports bar), got back to his place a little before the half-time show. We cued up the DVR and fast-forwarded, only slowing to regular speed at the big plays (the distracting, annoying graphics become useful indicators for this purpose) and the ads (my main purpose for watching the show). By the time The Who started playing, we were only about 30 minutes behind real-time. We watched the concert, and then re-commenced the fast-forward through the rest of the game, maybe 15 minutes behind at the end.

No endless replays (except for our re-running that interception and 70-yard dash a few times), no useless colour commentary, no pre-game or post-game bloviating, no heartwarming player bios, no shots of obnoxious fans and fat-cat owners and football wives in the stands. If you’re gonna watch the Super Bowl, this is the way to do it.

I think that you slightly misinterpreted the tire ad. The “joke” was that they had demanded “Your Tires or your LIFE!”, and the man thought they said “Your tires or your WIFE!”. It was kind of subverting an old science fiction trope about the crazy bad guys always wanting to rape the wimmenz, since they clearly didn’t know what to do with her after they got her.

Obviously the joke doesn’t seem to have worked, and was to some extent misogynist, but I thought there were quite a few far worse ads misogyny-wise

Dodge (and all of Chrysler) have had horrible commercials recently.

The Bud Light ad which suggested that, essentially, “reading is for faggots and pussies” is yet another reason for me to keep drinking Yuengling. They’re the only mass-market beer maker that doesn’t have insulting commercials--probably because they’re still privately held and not a corporation.

I didn’t, Bruce.  The idea is that a man will happily hand over his wife instead of his tires, due to the aforementioned bitches not being shit.

The misogyny of the ads really shocked me last night, and I watch a lot of sports.  Considering that there’s most likely a higher proportion of women watching the Super Bowl than regular season games, I really wonder at the ads’ motivation.  Is it to reassure men, or shame women?

#12, serious about what?  How boring football is?  Yes, I meant that.  Take out a stop-watch and time a game.  You’ll discover that there are only about twelve and a half minutes of football played during the three or so hours it takes to get from a kick-off to the final second.  That’s two hours and forty five minutes that are nothing but commercials, replays (you just saw the play, so now you watch it again because, well, nothing is happening), shots of people standing on the sidelines, etc.  There’s more action in bird watching.  Is it so inconceivable to you that people exist who find the Super Bowl to be a complete waste of time?

Maybe I misunderstood your question; it was awfully ambiguous.  You wrote, “DBK, are you fucking serious?” Who is this “serious” person?  The only fucking I do these days is with my wife, so no, I’m not fucking anyone else.  What a rude thing to say.  Or maybe I should interpret your question as, “When you fuck, are you serious?” That’s kind of personal, don’t you think?

The Dodge ad was the most bracingly misogynistic, because it kept amping up. I was wondering how far they were going to go with it and they kept going a little bit longer than I thought.

“The Tebow ad tried really hard to be innocuous, but they didn’t stop to think about what it symbolizes to have Tim Tebow tackle his mom while she’s trying to talk, which I found kind of funny.”

That she plays DB for Alabama? (I really hate making this joke, as it involves a sorta-endorsement of Nick Saban) I actually missed the ad.

The main thing I was rooting for after a Saints win (though I was an little ambivalent at that, as it just points out that it could have been the Detroit Lions, but won’t be, ever) was for the Who to say, “Oh, you think we’re the safe choice to play at your Super Bowl” and whip out their aging penises. The crying that would have followed that event would have been so beautiful.

One out of two isn’t bad.

I agree that football is pretty much made for commercials. Basketball is more exciting to watch, I prefer March Madness over the playoffs and the Superbowl.

no heartwarming player bios, no shots of obnoxious fans and fat-cat owners and football wives in the stands.

Maybe I missed it, but I don’t remember any of this in the CBS broadcast.  They didn’t even show Kim Kardashian.

The idea is that a man will happily hand over his wife instead of his tires, due to the aforementioned bitches not being shit.

I think there was also some homophobia - the villian was unattractive, leather-clad and lisping - hence the attempted joke that he could not clearly enunciate Wife v. Life.

“The Bud Light ad which suggested that, essentially, “reading is for faggots and pussies” is yet another reason for me to keep drinking Yuengling. They’re the only mass-market beer maker that doesn’t have insulting commercials--probably because they’re still privately held and not a corporation.”

Sam Adams? As far as I remember, those are all the bearded brew masters or the company president talking about brewing.

Someone mentioned the ad for the NFL thanking the fans.  Did anyone notice that all the fans they were thanking were men?  Except for one short shot of three women cheering from the stands.  I guess I don’t exist.  Thanks, NFL!

The Google ad was one of the better ones, but of course it was heteronormative, with the assumption that the perfect end result of everything is marriage and baybeeeeeeez.

The Dodge ad snuck up on me.  I was texting back and forth with my long-distance relationship, so I was half paying attention to all the things they were saying, then I suddenly realized they were denigrating women to sell their fucking car.  In 80% of cases of married couples buying a car, it’s women making the final decision.  Do they really want to piss us off?

I agree about the blatant misogyny in the Doritos ad with the little kid, but that asshole with the dog got what he deserved.

The Super Bowl?  Are they still running that stupid game?  Do people really watch it? 

I know! Tell me about it! I don’t even own a television! I can’t believe these people are watching something as mundane and stupid as “sports” on the “boob tube”!

Most of the misogynistic ads were at least coherent. (Except maybe for the Dockers one. What the hell is so macho about khaki?) But that Audi commercial made no sense on any level. Potential buyers for an environmentally friendly car would be people who support recycling and all the other horribly oppressive initiatives that were being enforced by “the green police.” The type of person who believes in “green police” would be more likely to buy a Hummer or something.

jlk, I don’t think there were any shots of KK (at least not that I saw).  Ditto on the wives and owners--I thought it was a really good broadcast.  I don’t think there was a commercial break until about 8 minutes in to the 1st quarter either.

I was half paying attention to the Dodge ad and thought it was people complaining about having to denigrate themselves for their employers. I then thought that the Dodge Challenger would have been a better way to let off steam. There could be something to a car ad where the narrator tells his boss how much he hates doing stuff for him but the only thing that makes it worth it is the paycheck that allows him to buy the nice car, but that would have probably violated CBS’s “no liberal ads” policy.

Sam Adams? As far as I remember, those are all the bearded brew masters or the company president talking about brewing.

I guess you could call Sam Adams mass-market now, but it’s still priced more like a microbrew. I’m talking about beer that costs >$7 a sixer, or about $15 for a 24 rack.

Oddly, I found the Tebow spot--which, if you hadn’t read any of the pre-game discussion, appeared to support “family values” in a general way, but was otherwise surprisingly incoherent--to be vastly less offensive than the ensuing Dodge and Flo TV commercials.

Also, I wasn’t acquainted with the Dockers print ad until I clicked on your link, above, which is too bad, as it would have lent some context to their commercial. As it was, I couldn’t figure out why they were trying to sell pants with the image of a lot of apparently happy, singing, pants-less men, roving over the prairie.

(Alas, we turned off the game at half-time--at which point it apparently got more interesting.)

The Dodge Charger ad was the one that pissed me off the most, for some reason.  It started out fine, just general “yeah life kinda sucks, you have to get up early and go to work and deal with boring meetings,” and then it turned into “You make me act like a civilized human being and I fucking resent it, you harpy shrew bitch.”

I was like, God forbid you actually put your underwear in the hamper, it’s such a huge imposition.

My second thought was that I’d love to see a commercial like that with women narrating instead of men.  “I will get up at 5:30 and go to the gym. I will lose the baby weight in a month. I will shave my legs. I will put lotion on my legs.  I will put on foundation and lipstick and eyeshadow and powder so you can’t tell I’ve put it on at all. I will cook your dinner. I will wash your plate. I will keep track of your doctor’s appointments. I will fold your laundry. I will wipe your pee splashes from the toilet. I will wear a push-up bra. And because of this, I will drive the car I want to drive.”

What the hell is so macho about khaki?

When wearing khaki meant “fighting for the British in the fields of Afghanistan,” it was macho. Now it means “I am a middle manager with no fashion sense.”

Having no particular rooting interest in the game (like Manning, but NOLA has been so cute about Dat team!), I popped in and out last night. Long enough to notice that no women watch the SB, since all the ads I caught were treatises on misogyny and male-sexual insecurity. Don’t chicks like doritos? I do. Don’t chicks like beer? I think maybe some do. Kee-rist. Shut up, Madison Avenue.

The Audi ad was trying to say being environmentally responsible doesn’t mean you can’t have fun (diesel powered cars are very fun to drive AND get high MPG ratings). But it misfired badly.

There’s rarely a thread that grapples with pop culture that doesn’t have one person questioning the premise of the discussion and trying to shame everyone for caring.  It’s best to leave them to their superiority and carry on as if they didn’t say anything.

#5 - seconded.  I know the best person to tell me to take care of my heart is a rapist.  Gotta stay alive for the rapists!  And babies who might grow up to be football players!

Are the Flo TV people the same ones as that “stream sports while she buys you slacks” idiots from awhile back? It’s an interesting meme, isn’t it, that there’s this epidemic of men who are being forced to shop (or be shopped for) when they ought to be watching sports?

I saw some of the worst offenders on Jezebel, and thought the Dodge ad was the most sinister. I mean, shopping for underwear is one thing (also the “presenter” guy is so deliberately cheesy and smarmy that it alost - not really, but almost - slips into irony), but since when is walking your own goddamn dog and separating your trash for recycling some kind of capitulation to the vagiarchy? Plus I agree those dudes looked *scary*, like they were about to tear off and shoot up a gym or something. There was real hate there, hate of having to be an adult channeled into hatred of women. It’s kind of incoherent how it’s women’s fault that men get old and grow up, but it seems to be utterly uncontroversial, conventional wisdom that it is in fact our fault.

The Bud Light ad which suggested that, essentially, “reading is for faggots and pussies” is yet another reason for me to keep drinking Yuengling. They’re the only mass-market beer maker that doesn’t have insulting commercials--probably because they’re still privately held and not a corporation.

... that, and Yuengling is actually drinkable whereas Budweiser is disgusting shite.

but since when is walking your own goddamn dog and separating your trash for recycling some kind of capitulation to the vagiarchy?

Because women are supposed to be following after you, picking up your trash and doing everything for you, I suppose.

Maybe I missed it, but I don’t remember any of this in the CBS broadcast.  They didn’t even show Kim Kardashian.

Honestly, I don’t know one way or another whether these NFL broadcast staples were missing—which is how it should be.

I got all the ads, a short Who concert, 15 minutes of solid football (including DIY replays), plus a quality bull session on sports, media and music with a friend. And I didn’t have to sit through an addition 2+ hours of dross to get it.

And in case you weren’t happy enough about it, consider that some wingnuts actually went there, decrying the support for the Saints because if you want nice things for New Orleans, it makes you a pansified piece of shit.

Ok, I’m feeling pretty outnumbered here (and on every blog I read) because I’m a Colts fan. But seriously? It’s wrong to root for the Saints because of sentimental reasons? I’m a Colts and a Pacers fan because I grew up in Indianapolis. Just like almost every other sports fan in the country. We support teams because we grew up with them or because our parents supported them or because we love one particular player. We don’t support them because they’re the best team. We call the people who do “Yankees fans” and, unless they’re actual New Yorkers, we consider them sellouts and look at them with contempt. Seriously, I refuse to believe that even Wingnuts root for teams based on who they think will win. People just aren’t like that.

They even noticed the trend over at Pajiba:

http://www.pajiba.com/seriously_random_lists/the-best-super-bowl-commercials-2010.php

From opening paragraph: “And what was up with all the Manly Man commercials? Maybe I could understand the sexist bullshit for a normal Sunday lineup of football, but this was the biggest television event of the year. And hey! Guess what! Women watch the Super Bowl. And now you’ve alienated them. Congratulations, dumbasses.”

Snowmentality; don’t give them any bright ideas. I’m just hoping and praying FIAT-Chrysler finds a different ad agency for their American intro of the Fiat 500 and Alfa-Romeo MiTo, but I fear they’ll pitch them just as you’ve described (minus the humoros inversion most likely) and further relegate small, efficient, elegant and fun cars as ‘chick cars’.

I just saw the add over on LG&M;. I fail to understand why anybody would watch commercials when they’re a room full of puppies on TV just a click away.

… that, and Yuengling is actually drinkable whereas Budweiser is disgusting shite.

That is a bonus! But even if Budweiser did taste good I wouldn’t buy it because of the ads. And they market themselves aas an American beer when they’re owned by a Belgian corporation now--give me a break. And they ruined Rolling Rock.

And yet today’s headline on Yahoo was, I kid you not, “Guys take a beating in funny Bowl ads”.  One of the favorite complaints of MRAs is that they are portrayed as dumb buffoons in advertising and entertainment, while ignoring how women are portrayed as boring, buzzkilling nags.  I guess that’s the thinking behind perception that men got it worse in the ads.

#31:  Was that sarcasm?  You should try understanding what you read before you attempt a sarcastic reply.  Did I write that I don’t own a television?  Nope.  Did I write anything about not watching sports?  Nope.  I wrote about the Super Bowl, an event in which 12.5 minutes of action is sandwiched between two and three-quarter to three hours of commercials.  But hey, if you want to watch commercials for hours on end, be my guest.  Just try to comprehend what you read before you get all clever about it and write something idiotic.

Just sayin’.

Sam Adams? As far as I remember, those are all the bearded brew masters or the company president talking about brewing.

No, they’re the ones who do the unfunny versions of this:

http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=11903&title=samuel-l.-jackson-beer

There were two non-offensive ads that I did like:

1. The Doritos ad with the dog putting the shock collar on his owner.
2. The Letterman-Oprah-Leno spot.

The misogynist Dodge ad especially bothered me because the voiceover was done by Michael C. Hall (of Dexter fame).  I wish he wouldn’t have agreed to be a part of that crap, because he’s such a great actor.

Both ‘Iron Pu$$y’ and ‘Vagified Assault’ would be excellent names for rock bands.

I have to admit the Tebow ad was pretty mild in and of itself (with the added bonus of burning thru a hulking pile of FOTF’s cash), but it was a Helen Reddy record compared to the parade of seething contempt for women that marched across the screen the rest of the night.  I have to give the prize to the FloTV “spineless” ad, for trying to convince me that shopping for lingerie with an attractive woman is actually a vicious attack on masculinity everywhere, with Dodge’s “I only barely tolerate the feminine for the sake of horsepower” running a close second.  Even the GoDaddy ads felt harmless compared to this crap.

I’m not a cafone and neither are my male friends, even the ones who watch football.

Okay, I’ll bite--what’s a cafone?

Football is so freaking boring.

Ditto.  Then again, I’m the type of person who prefers to participate in a given sport rather than passively watching it....though I’d much prefer to play volleyball and soccer(football to anyone outside the US). 

When wearing khaki meant “fighting for the British in the fields of Afghanistan,” it was macho. Now it means “I am a middle manager with no fashion sense.”

Really???  Strange how I see so many in the more fashionable districts of NYC wearing Khaki.  When did it go out of fashion???

Those dockers ads are so annoying (and also stupid). What I fidn funny is that the entire Powell Street BART station is plastered with these ads. I can’t imagine a city where the message “wear the pants” makes less sense than San Francisco.  It just feels so tone deaf somehow.

I liked Salon’s comment on the Tim Tebow ad; “Weirdest eharmony ad ever.”

I nominate the Stevie Wonder slugbug commercial as the best one of the night.

@DBK, look.  I like music Amanda thinks is bad (or mediocre, at any rate).  When she makes a post saying “bands Ferox likes are what’s wrong with music” I don’t post in the thread.  Because what would be the point?

When someone makes a post here saying “sexism sure is dumb,” inevitably someone shows up and says “WHAT ABOUT THE MENS.”

How is that different from going into the fucking Super Bowl thread to say “football suxxxx!” I think making fun of you by comparing you to other contrarians is perfectly fair.

I think we found the target audience for the commercials!

http://mediamatters.org/blog/201002080011

I wrote about the Super Bowl, an event in which 12.5 minutes of action is sandwiched between two and three-quarter to three hours of commercials.

There are roughly 70 ad slots per Superbowl broadcast, so at most you’re looking at closer to 45 minutes of ads than than the amount you suggest. Plus, a large part of the audience (including just about everyone commenting here) now watches the ads mainly to analyse them, critique them, or mock them. There’s also no doubt that many older audience members still consume them slack-jawed and nodding, and that (and shrinking) audience segement is the one that Focus on the Fascism was targetting

I think we found the target audience for the commercials!

http://mediamatters.org/blog/201002080011

Erick Erickson is such a steaming pile of douchebaggery.  Love how this fucktard jumps straight to the old “feminists hate us because they’re ugly bitchez!” trope.

Hey Erick - look in the mirror, asshat… you’re no eyecandy yourself there, buddy.

Only twelve and a half minutes of actual football is played.  Use a timer and check it for yourself.  Much of the time when an ad isn’t actually running is a commercial, or don’t you ever notice the announcer saying “Watch the latest episode of Miami CSI, XDays at 7”?  No, I don’t listen either, actually.  Or they are advertising football during the game, or promoting players or something.  It’s all a big commercial.

Like I said, take a timer out and time the game.  I did it once after reading about how much actual football is played during a game.  I think I timed fifteen minutes and there was actually around two minutes of football.  The rest was replays, shots of the coaches on the sidelines, and commercials.

For future reference, all the ads are available here:

http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-super-bowl-commercials

DBK @ #63:

Ummm.... you do realize that the regulation time for an NFL football game is 60 minutes, right?  That during the 60 minutes in which the clock is ticking action is taking place on the field?

Or do you only consider it “actual football” after the QB hands off the ball or throws a pass?  In other words, it’s only “actual football” when the ball is moving down the field?

@65:  It’s like complaining that in Hamlet, you only spend two or three minutes watching actual stabbings and the rest is pointless talking.

Hey guys, lighten up on DBK. He is just so concerned about the uh, somethingness, of football that he has become constitutionally incapable of letting it go.

As for the “do people still actually watch the Super Bowl?” comment, apparently they do...

Last night’s game wasn’t just the highest-rated TV program of the year, it was the highest-rated Super Bowl in nearly a quarter century - roughly two-thirds of all Americans who were were watching TV last night were watching the Super Bowl.

Or of getting a joke, apparently. Dude, really? You’re just pretending you don’t get the Onion thing, right? Please tell me you’re pretending in some vague attempt to save face.

Only twelve and a half minutes of actual football is played

No, 60 minutes is played. Of that 60 minutes about 10-15 is “action”. Planning your plays and scouting the offense or defense are most certainly part of the game (and are timed, the play clock isn’t there for shits and giggles), but not the action.

Yea, it bores me too (less so in the college game for some reason). But so does the last minute of a basketball game which can last upwards of half an hour! I like soccer. That’s 90 minutes of non-stop action. And it bores many, many people to tears. Such is life.

Ummm.... you do realize that the regulation time for an NFL football game is 60 minutes, right?  That during the 60 minutes in which the clock is ticking action is taking place on the field?

The second statement doesn’t follow from the first. The clock keeps ticking after rushes and complete passes where the ballcarrier is tackled inbounds (unless there’s a penalty or timeout), but there’s no “action” until the ball is snapped again.

I kind of like the pace of football, because it lets me read or do a crossword puzzle between plays. If you like continuous breakneck action, try ice hockey, which is so fast and furious that players only stay on the ice for a few minutes (except the goalie, of course).

Only twelve and a half minutes of actual football is played.  Use a timer and check it for yourself

If by “actual football” you meant interesting action, I already knew. Check #46.

Much of the time when an ad isn’t actually running is a commercial, or don’t you ever notice the announcer saying “Watch the latest episode of Miami CSI, XDays at 7”?

Those are the network promos and the bumpers—again, easily skipped over along with the rest of the nonsense from the announcers and on-screen graphics. Notice how no-one, here or in the press, is discussing these as “Superbowl commercials.” It’s the same with the promos for the NFL—no-one really bothers discussing them in the same category with the 3rd party ads for beer, cars, etc., because the ROI stakes are so low that they don’t put a lot of money and effort into the creative unit.

The only standouts in terms of promos were the Letterman-Oprah-Leno spot (really more of a novelty than an ad) and the NFL’s “Thanks to Our Fans” spot (basically a gauzy highlight reel that could have just as easily been cut together on the fly by the guy who does the last-quarter highlights).

So, Mr. Adbusters, if you’re gonna startle us poor benighted souls with the stunning revelation that the NFL and network TV are heavily commercialised for-profit institutions that try to squeeze every last cent they can from consumers, it would help to get your terminology straight and consider the nature of your audience and what they’re actually discussing and what they already know.

Any self-respecting misogynist would hate these ads since they portray men as wimps and idiots.

Umm, Jim not they don’t.  They portray men as victims.  And being a victim means that everything wrong is the woman’s fault.

“Forget faces - entire bodies are covered in egg! “

Only if one doesn’t know the nature of Focus on the Family. Feminists do know what they are, so no, there is not egg on our faces.  They were too cowardly to actually say what they claim is the majority opinion. They cowarded away from their misogynstic platform.  It’s win for us, surely.

I kind of like the pace of football, because it lets me read or do a crossword puzzle between plays. If you like continuous breakneck action, try ice hockey, which is so fast and furious that players only stay on the ice for a few minutes (except the goalie, of course).

That’s why I prefer hockey and basketball to football.

As I mentioned earlier, it’ll be interesting to see how the NFL, whose main profit centre depends on the outmoded network television revenue model, is going to fare in the future. The audience is no longer the middle-aged married guy sitting like a slug in his barcalounger, mindlessly consuming everything on the screen.

Baseball, which is slow and requires concentration and patience from the spectator, is already having trouble with an audience that’s used to clicking through the boring bits, commercials included. And usually the ads on TV football are a lot more mundane than the ones we saw last night, and the sponsored half-time entertainment (if any) ain’t The Who, so they’ll be skipped over with the rest of the filler.

Some sports guys are predicting a lock-out in 2011, supposedly the NFL owners are having a tough time paying for those really cool taxpayer subsidized stadiums.  I wonder if the NFL may eventually go the way of Enron?

BTW I think my grand parents, if they were still alive, would have loved the WHO

MSNBC just reported that last night’s Super Bowl was the most watched television program in history - it beat the M*A*S*H finale.  So yeah… people still watch it.

Baseball is having a huge resurgence so thats just incorrect.  Nationally broadcast games are falling off but thats because everyone can now basically watch every single home team game, something unknown even 10 years ago.  No one is dying to watch the regional game at 3 pm on a Saturday if they plan on watching the home game that evening.

I have to say that I liked the Audi ad.  I thought it was funny, and Cheap Trick singing “Green Police” was pretty clever.

Hey guys, lighten up on DBK. He is just so concerned about the uh, somethingness, of football that he has become constitutionally incapable of letting it go.

Maybe he’s concerned that New Orleans hasn’t been kicked around enough.  He has to make sure we understand what idiots we are to find something to celebrate in the way this game brought our city together, showed the world we still have spirit and tenacity, and brought us joy in the midst of ongoing adversity.  DBK is just SO SO superior to all of us in the Who Dat nation singing our happy songs, having impromptu rallies and parades, hugging total strangers with exuberance, and feeling warm fuzzies coming at us from a lot of the rest of the world.  Boy are we dumb; I’m sure DBK’s life is so much more enjoyable.

I found Michael C. Hall’s Dodge voice over not only disappointing since I like him as an actor, but a whole extra level of creepy since he does VO so often on Dexter. His disembodied voice is usually giving us the inner monologue of a serial killer so its hard not to draw that connection. Especially in a performance evoking barely contained rage.

I forget the company, but I found the nuts and popcorn ad to be the creepiest one of all. I physically cringed when the Waterworld barker blew the whistle, and two women in bikinis popped out of the water for their nutty treat. Nevermind the dolphin effect that made the people wanting treats seem in a Scanners-like trance. I found it disturbing.

And if I worked for the Doritos company, I’d fire the ad managers. So the guy’s dog wants to eat Doritos? Dogs want to eat their own shit. Seriously. That’s a selling point? And how is a guy faking his own death to eat Doritos flavored with his own taint for a week supposed to make me crave anything? Does he shit in one corner, and push the Doritos to the opposite corner?

From time to time, E! network will do a show on Disney in our culture, and there’s that guy with Disney tatoos all over his body. His obvious psychological problems do not make me want to immerse myself in Disney entertainment. It actually makes me feel sad, and trend away from all things Disney, like a guy who’s way too into porn. The Doritos faked death commercial reminds me of that.

Please remember that implicit in the misogyny openly displayed in this weak pack of commercials is the utter contempt these companies have for the male viewers. I need to drive a shit-box Dodge to get my dick back? Do Walmart and Walgreens really think husbands are pussy-whipped boys who can’t function without some overbearing, scary, bossy female to give them direction in gift purchasing?

I seriously think the gay dating site ad was declined because the juxtoposition of two football fan guys making out to the rest of the “you’re all panty-waist queers” implication commercials would expose that contempt.

SuperBowl Commercials have taken on the air of the aftermath of an actual funny, random comment told by a co-worker at the lunch table, where 6 other people proceed to (unfunny) riff on that one comment until you want to spray mustard in their eyes. I get it. There’s a fake guy culture where guys are supposed to like beer, video games and electronics where a trip to Best Buy should be like mommy taking us to the toy store. But that joke got unfunny about 20 years ago.

Professional football is designed around commercials, as are most sports.  College basketball has tv timeouts at the first stoppage of play under certain minute increments of each half, football has a timeout after changes of possession, and so forth.  Unless it’s soccer, the commercials are part of the flow of the coverage.  NASCAR solves much of this by having the advertisements fly around the track (though some pro team soccer uniforms are starting to look like billboards.) All that sponsorship costs money, and if I have to watch sandwich boards dribbling a basketball around a court it will be better than paying pay-per-view prices to watch games.

And the stupidity of advertisements is going to go up when times are tough and men are insecure about their financial status.  I’m sure there was a lot of polling behind this, and it really does show that the men who respond positively to such ads actually are emasculated boy-children in need of the reassurance of a new toy car.  Ads never were designed for everyone, and it’s a utopian fantasy to think they ever were.  They’re designed to get to a target audience, and that’s why Ed Hardy clothes make some dork rich beyond all of our dreams even when most people see ugly crap that makes them question the sanity of the wearer.

I forget the company, but I found the nuts and popcorn ad to be the creepiest one of all. I physically cringed when the Waterworld barker blew the whistle, and two women in bikinis popped out of the water for their nutty treat. Nevermind the dolphin effect that made the people wanting treats seem in a Scanners-like trance. I found it disturbing.

I too found that one very disturbing!  And the fact that neither you nor I can remember the name of the product tells us it REALLY failed.

@DonnaDiva, Yeah, I saw the Yahoo “News” take on the Superbowl ads as well, “Skewering the male ego?” I don’t think those words mean what Yahoo thinks they mean.

Baseball is having a huge resurgence so thats just incorrect.  Nationally broadcast games are falling off but thats because everyone can now basically watch every single home team game, something unknown even 10 years ago.

It’s not having a resurgence in national network or even local affiliate broadcast, which is what I was discussing. And compared to the other sports, it’s deadly dull to watch on TV (better at the stadium, and loads more fun to play). It’s not disappearing, and while it has its audience, it’s nowhere as large as football’s or basketball’s on a national scale.

But what you say is applicable in terms of the old network model rules being broken. Ultimately, the NFL is going to have to move almost all the way toward pay-per-view with no interstitial ads, where you buy the entire game for a fixed price (split between the league and the carriage company) and watch at it you like. If they’re smart and willing to give up their control-freak ways, they’ll even provide different feeds, including one sans commentary and others with social-network fan commentary. It will be a very different viewing experience, and a different marketing experience, too—they’ll have to do a lot more local fan service than they do now (Green Bay will be well positioned in that regard).

I too found that one very disturbing!  And the fact that neither you nor I can remember the name of the product tells us it REALLY failed.

Same here. In fact, after that one my buddy I looked at each-other and said “disturbing” simultaneously.

And no, no idea what the product was. Even if I did, it would go into the “do not buy—may contain trance-inducing addictive substances” category.

I actually did get pretty interested in the game this time, as a non-football fan, but the commercials were horrible. A few I did find somewhat funny, but most were so blatantly woman-hating. So apparently the standard of manliness anymore is to be completely unhygienic, lazy, irresponsible—basically, they’re romanticizing the life of the Frat Boy Bachelor and blaming women for somehow curbing men’s inherent nature to drink booze and not clean up after themselves. And people say feminists hate men??? I think it’s damn disrespectful towards men to treat them as little better than animals, which mainstream society does. Whatever happened to maturity?

Only good thing about the Audi ad was the end with the regular police getting pulled over.

I would totally vote for a quasi-fascist Greentatorship if it meant getting to see that happen.

The tire ad where they are nursing some poor orca in the car, spin around on the dock, and send it into the water was great.  Especially the punch line.

We discovered the secret to top quality football watching. Using tivo pause during commercials, then skip forward then they are on. Keep the TV muted except during play. We saw no superbowl commercials. Also my wife is from New Orleans, so it was very exciting.

Kind of funny how you guys can admit that there are only maybe twelve and a half minutes of football “action” in those three or so hours but don’t seem to be able to get the point.  Oh, right, they’re planning plays and discussing important matters of football.  And you sit there, glued to the TV, watching them do it.  It’s EXCITING to watch them discuss the next play.  It isn’t boring waiting for the action.  It’s a full 60 minutes of, er, um, something.  You get to listen to Brent Mushberger or whoever those guys are scream about what a thrilling time you are having watching the huddle.

Seriously, you guys think I’M being over-sensitive or something.  Here I have a bunch of football monkeys crying and defending because I said football is boring.  Talk about over-sensitive.  “But it was the most highly rated Super Bowl in 25 years!  It was fantastical!”

The Super Bowl has become an event, sure, but football is still the most boring sport on television.  I don’t care for hockey and you can barely make out the puck on TV, but at leas the players are doing things for most of each period.  Every play in football grinds to a halt and then you wait.  I saw a game where one team called a time out so they could kick a field goal.  As soon as the kicker was ready to go, the OTHER team called a time out, according to the announcers, so they could make the kicker “think about” kicking the field goal.  Are you kidding?  This is the exciting game you’re all defending so vociferously while mocking me for not giving a crap about it and thinking it’s a total waste of time?  You’re think ‘m trying to save face?  I’m laughing at you football monkeys.

Oh and #81, you wrote:  “Maybe he’s concerned that New Orleans hasn’t been kicked around enough.  He has to make sure we understand what idiots we are to find something to celebrate in the way this game brought our city together, showed the world we still have spirit and tenacity, and brought us joy in the midst of ongoing adversity. “ Uh, yeah, that must be it.  You know, I red some pretty stupid shit from the football monkeys, but that has to be the stupidest thing I read in this entire thread.  My finding football boring is actually an attack on the city of New Orleans.  And you all probably wonder why I’m laughing at you.  It’s easy to do.  You say such stupid things.  “It’s a full sixty minutes during those THREE HOURS as we excitedly watch as people stand on the sideline deciding what to do next.  Gosh, I’m all goose pimply just thinking about it.” Yes, sixty minutes of football, twelve and a half minutes of actual play, and three hours to show the whole thing from start to finish.

Are you idiots for watching it and am I superior because it bores me, as some football monkeys have said?  No, you’re idiots for defending it.  My evidence for that is above, i.e., the brilliant defenses you have mounted and the wonderful armchair psychology you’ve employed in analyzing me instead of what I said.  Nothing says, “We got nothing here” like attacking the statement “Football is boring” by telling me about myself.

Your turn, football monkeys.

It’s not having a resurgence in national network or even local affiliate broadcast, which is what I was discussing. And compared to the other sports, it’s deadly dull to watch on TV (better at the stadium, and loads more fun to play). It’s not disappearing, and while it has its audience, it’s nowhere as large as football’s or basketball’s on a national scale.

True enough, but baseball isn’t anywhere nearly as dependent on TV money as the NFL - MLB teams play ten times as many games in a season, and with 2/3 of all current MLB stadiums having been built in the past 2 decades, many of them consistently sell out most tickets at pretty premium prices.

Baseball is doing just fine financially.  As much as I can’t stand Bud Selig, he took a sports league that was barely topping $1 Billion in revenues at the time he took over and turned it into nearly a $7 Billion a year behemoth.  It’s nowhere near the NFL in TV ratings, but it is closing in on total revenues, something that seemed impossible just 20 years ago…

http://money.cnn.com/2007/10/25/commentary/sportsbiz/index.htm

Are you idiots for watching it and am I superior because it bores me, as some football monkeys have said?  No, you’re idiots for defending it. 

We need tivo for arrogant comments.

Why was there only one woman in the office underwear ad, and why was she using her dead great-grandmother’s underwear?

Ah, so if you call it a “promo” or “bumper” instead of a “commercial”, it isn’t advertising?  Thanks for correcting me.

Considering that most of the discussion I see about the Super Bowl is about the commercials, I withdraw my remarks about football being boring.  It’s terribly, terribly exciting.  That’s why so many people watched the commercials last night and have so little to say about the little bit of game that was wedged in between the commercials.

Oh, and I skipped someone.  Someone said there were only roughly 45 minutes of commercials (not promos and bumpers, mind you, but “ad spots").  Twelve and a half minutes of “action” and 45 minutes of commercials.  I wish I had the show on CD so I could watch it now.  That must have been an incredible program.  All those wonderful action-packed plays.  Were there as many plays run as the 70 commercial ad spots?  Do they run seventy plays during a game?

DBK -

We get it, you don’t like football.  That’s fine.

But why, if you find football to be the most awfully boring game of all time, do you insist on commenting in a thread about a football game, where all you do is mock anyone who might actually enjoy the game you so detest?

By the way… Super Bowl XLIV wasn’t just the most watched football game of the last 25 years - it was the most watched television program of all time… of any genre.

I’m gonna go shallow here and slag Jim Nantz for 1) doing whatever botox-restylane combo he’s done to get that oh-so-attractive wax-face, 2) not managing to avoid putting on post-divorce weight, 3) bolstering his post-divorce poor widdle self by dong the faux-commentary on that FLO-tv ad. Yep, them bitches make you cough up a million bucks a year to make them go away, so by all means, watch tv when they drag you shopping.

I’m one of the killjoys that wishes football would disappear off the face of the earth, mostly because football fans are obnoxious assholes that pee in my yard. The misogynistic ads are just shit icing on a shit cake.

Good question, 97.  I made a VERY brief comment that indicated that I found football boring and then addressed the actual posting topic, which was that the commercials weren’t just misogynistic, but misandrous because they portray men as cafones (Italian word, look it up).  Nobody addressed what I said about the topic directly, though others made the same point, which is that the commercials were offensive to men as well as women.  But there was a comment directly addressed to what I said, a sarcastic sack of crap that completely missed the point of what I wrote (you got it, but apparently that commenter didn’t).  I responded.  Then the football monkeys became outraged because I had said that I found football boring and they knew they had to defend it to the last ounce of their strength, so I heard from many after that and I responded to them because I found it pretty funny.  Was it the most watched show ever?  That doesn’t mean football isn’t boring.  As I pointed out, people were watching and talking about the commercials more than the game.  I would be willing to bet that many more people were just at parties talking to friends and the game was on because it was supposed to be.  I used to go to Super Bowl parties when I lived in Jersey.  There would be thirty people in the house and maybe five of them would actually watch the game.  You remember the Janice Jackson Nipple Incident?  One guy saw it and said something when it happened.  Nobody else in the room, and there were at least fifteen people in the room with the TV, paid him the slightest attention.  We caught up on each other’s lives, who was getting divorced, who just had a nephew or niece, who changed jobs.  The game was an excuse but nobody watched the game.  Why watch the game?  It’s football.  Who cares?

I get it too.  There are people who watch football.  They like it.  I find it boring.  I don’t like it.  That point wasn’t enough for the football monkeys, though.  They’ve been personally assaulted because I don’t like football.  They must defend.  This is war, I tell you, war!  The sacred honor of football and the NFL MUST BE DEFENDED!

So I’ve been having a few laughs with it.  It’s a slow day here and I work from home and have the time between edits.  I can’t wait to hear back from the football monkey who thought my disdain for football was an attack on the city of New Orleans.

DBK, I get the impression that even if everybody ignored you, that would be all the more reason for your 900 word comments about how you are being picked on.

Been reading the teabagger All American Victim playbook much lately?

Ah, so if you call it a “promo” or “bumper” instead of a “commercial”, it isn’t advertising?  Thanks for correcting me.

No problem. I could see how confused you were about what kind of advertising was being discussed in the original post and the thread, so I thought I’d help you out.

That’s why so many people watched the commercials last night and have so little to say about the little bit of game that was wedged in between the commercials.

Sarcasm aside, that’s exactly right. There were approx. 8 minutes worth of play worth commenting on, maybe some additional discussion of the two coaches’s strategies, but that’s football. You don’t like it, that’s your business. It’s not my top sport either, but I did appreciate the interesting parts of last night’s game.

You’re acting like this is some huge revelation and that we’ve all been duped. Even the devoted football fans in this thread understand the larger picture.

Twelve and a half minutes of “action” and 45 minutes of commercials.  I wish I had the show on CD so I could watch it now.

Don’t forget the concert, which was also worthwhile. Getting the best of a broadcast experience in less than half the total running time (approx an hour and a half) is good value. Not all football games have interesting ads and top-notch half-time acts, mind you, which is why (among other reasons) I don’t usually bother with them.

Oh, and once again, 97, showing the clarity of thought that marks the football monkey who have been responding to me, you misread and exaggerate what I wrote.  “Football is boring” does not translate into “the most awfully boring game of all time”.  I guess some folks can’t make a point without getting a little hysterical about it.

DBK - I stopped following football a good 15 years ago because, as an avid White Sox fan, I got tired of being pissed off all year round.

While I’m happy to not give a shit anymore, and while I agree that, yes, there are really only about 12 minutes of action, you cannot deny the sheer beauty of a 12 second play that develops slowly, the line collapses, the quarterback scrambles out of the pocket, throws on the run to the secondary receiver, who cuts upfield, fakes out the MLB, breaks 2 tackles, and then takes off for a 60 yard footrace to a touchdown.

When the team you’re rooting for actually does that, it’s worth all the commercial breaks, time-outs, offsides penalties, and whatnot. That’s truly a piece of art comparable with the best of live theater.

I watch one game a year, now. But if I care about one of the teams, I’m yelling right along with everyone else when the running back breaks out of the backfield and turns upfield. Football it truly a cathartic, beautiful experience.

I can understand how it may be beyond some people.

“DBK, I get the impression that even if everybody ignored you, that would be all the more reason for your 900 word comments about how you are being picked on.

Been reading the teabagger All American Victim playbook much lately? “

Ah, at last a psychologist chips in.  You sign as “Ms Kate” but shouldn’t that be “Dr Kate”?  Where’d you get your degree in psychology?  Just curious.  Some schools are better than others.

you cannot deny the sheer beauty of a 12 second play that develops slowly, the line collapses, the quarterback scrambles out of the pocket, throws on the run to the secondary receiver, who cuts upfield, fakes out the MLB, breaks 2 tackles, and then takes off for a 60 yard footrace to a touchdown.

Or the sheer wacky f-ed up genius of starting the second half with an onsides kick, recovered for a successful possession.  That alone was worth a whole half of mind-warping fun on every single kickoff - the “what the hell are they going to do now” factor cost the Colts bigtime.

You sign as “Ms Kate” but shouldn’t that be “Dr Kate”?

If I recall correctly, Ms Kate has adolescent children, which non-academic experience has some relevance here.

“I can understand how it may be beyond some people.”

Not “beyond”.  I just don’t get that out of it.  Thanks, though, for being the only one who made any sense in responding to me.  The rest seem to be so deeply offended by my not appreciating football that they can’t get over it.  It appears to have twisted their knickers right up and cut off the blood supply to what passes for their brains.

My ex and I used to shop together a lot. We both really enjoyed shopping, and we were both big Bloomies fans.  My current man, is the exact opposite.  He hates shopping.  He handled it in a really strange way.  He said “I don’t really like to shop.  At all.” Being a woman, this caused me to give a typically female response.  “Oh, okay.  Enjoy your reading.  I’ll see you for dinner.”

Man, what a scene.  Well, the good news is that somehow we survived that and we are still together today.

If I recall correctly, Ms Kate has adolescent children

One of whom recently put together a skit where a group of people are doing something, and a friend comes in and deplores the activity.  The others shrug and go about their business, only the dissenter starts escalating the perceived victimization amid their indifference.

These kids watch Monty Python and Dimitri Martin a lot.

#109 - My wife and I both hate to clothes shop. I really like to grocery shop - I find it relaxing - and she doesn’t. So I shop and cook, and when we go to the Target, we plan out the day and do a year’s worth of shopping since we’re there.

I do understand the joke about guys hating shopping, and becoming zombies for sports, breasts, beer and gadgets. But at some point, you’d think an ad agency would earn the money they’re being paid, and come up with something creative. The commercial where the children were stating their dreams of becoming middle managers and such when they grew up comes to mind.

p.s. my sign-in name predates my dissertation.

Dr Kate, I notice that in all your brilliant comments about me, you have yet to address one point I’ve made.  All your remarks are personal in nature, but you complain that what I wrote in this thread was too long.  Maybe your kid could do a skit about that, something about someone who responds to arguments by attacking people on a personal level.

Maybe your kid could do a skit about that, something about someone who responds to arguments by attacking people on a personal level.

Do you really want to go there?

In this thread, you have insultingly referred to anybody who enjoys watching football as “monkeys” and suggested that they lack functioning brains, and that if they call you out for your belittling tone, they are acting “hysterical”.  Furthermore, you patronizingly go after Ms Kate by referring to her as “Dr Kate” in an obviously smarmy and condescending way.

You want to talk about attacks on a personal level?  Well, here you go…

YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE.

I love the way DBK now says he only said HE PERSONALLY finds football boring, and is so amazed that anyone felt insulted.  Let me quote his own words:

Are they still running that stupid game?  Do people really watch it?

And I’m the idiot for finding that condescending and rude?  Sure.

#12, serious about what?  How boring football is?  Yes, I meant that.  Take out a stop-watch and time a game.  You’ll discover that there are only about twelve and a half minutes of football played during the three or so hours it takes to get from a kick-off to the final second.

This thread is now officially about how SOCCER SUCKS ASS!

It’s a tough call for me between the FLO TV shopping one and the E-Trade Baby one with the girls in it but I’m going to have to go with the latter.  I was like, “Not even BABIES are safe from the Bitches Ain’t Shit trope?” Aaargh!!

“Furthermore, you patronizingly go after Ms Kate by referring to her as “Dr Kate” in an obviously smarmy and condescending way.”

...and ironically, Ms Kate really does have a doctorate, and could be accurately called Dr Kate, if she wanted to be…

So DBK, I have a dumb question. If you think football is boring and the Super Bowl is stupid, why did you click on this thread to make your initial post? Why not let the football monkeys play in the football thread, and save your precious pearls of priceless wisdom for a thread on a subject you enjoy?

Oh, and since DBK’s sarcasm-detector is clearly broke: I did not actually think you “hate New Orleans”.  But the fact of the matter is, you did indeed condescend to everyone who cared about the game.  And that is the folks of New Orleans.  So regardless of your intent, you DID insult us.

There’s rarely a thread that grapples with pop culture that doesn’t have one person questioning the premise of the discussion and trying to shame everyone for caring.  It’s best to leave them to their superiority and carry on as if they didn’t say anything.

It wasn’t me this time!

DBK, Libertarian seems to have answered your original post nicely at #13. Perhaps you missed it. I don’t agree that mine is the only answer that made sense to you.

However, to recap, you asked (perhaps rhetorically) if anyone still watches the SuperBowl, Lib said the top 10 programs since 2000 were SuperBowls. Did you need an actual yes or no? I believe DTG pointed out that this year’s SB was the highest rated TV show, ever.

Gracchus addresses your concerns at #61 and #72 about the amount of time occupied by advertizing.

you say:

Kind of funny how you guys can admit that there are only maybe twelve and a half minutes of football “action” in those three or so hours but don’t seem to be able to get the point.

What, exactly, is your point? Sports are advertising. TV is advertising. At some point, soon, US teams will start putting ads on the jerseys like the do the rest of the world over. They already superimpose ads on walls, fields, etc.

We caught up on each other’s lives, who was getting divorced, who just had a nephew or niece, who changed jobs.

Oh fuck kill me now. And you’re arguing that FOOTBALL is boring?

The game was an excuse but nobody watched the game.  Why watch the game?  It’s football.  Who cares?

Well, except those five guys who couldn’t care less about you and your friends’ hellish and pathetic existences.

I’m just going to add that a man mansplaining that football is stupid is such a fucking awesome and amazing event that the universe is probably going to end later this afternoon.

But it was playing during a sporting event, when said victims of harpy bitch wives cannot, by definition, be watching.

To be fair, the guy might have TiVo’ed it.

“In this thread, you have insultingly referred to anybody who enjoys watching football as “monkeys” and suggested that they lack functioning brains, and that if they call you out for your belittling tone, they are acting “hysterical”.  Furthermore, you patronizingly go after Ms Kate by referring to her as “Dr Kate” in an obviously smarmy and condescending way. “

Wow, you got that all wrong so fast it was stunning.

Nope, haven’t referred to “anybody who enjoys watching football as “monkeys””.  I referred to “football monkeys”, i.e., the people who were so offended by my lack of interest in football that they had to provide hysterical defenses of football.  Dr Kate offered her psychoanalytical expertise.  I assumed she must be a Doctor of Psychology.  The sarcasm is clear.

I don’t think “smarmy” means what you think it means.

DBK, it has always been my advice that if you want to develop some kind of intellectual/eccentric affectation, instead of droning on and on about how stupid you find some mass cultural event, you should instead declare your love and obsession with that event. When combined with your other intellectual/eccentric cultural markers (you listen to “This American Life” and have a subscription to “The New York Review of Books,” right?), people will find this more interesting than a rather predictable (and almost stereotyped) dismissal of things like the Superbowl.

Everybody knows that idiot who can’t handle it when other people discuss a topic that doesn’t interest him and thus has to pipe in with a whine about how he finds it boring so that everyone can finally focus on something he finds interesting, namely himself. Don’t be that guy. This thread isn’t about you.

“DBK, it has always been my advice that if you want to develop some kind of intellectual/eccentric affectation”

Um, except that wasn’t what I was trying to do.  Why are you focusing on me?  When this began I just talked about football in response to what people wrote defending it.  Then some folks decided that this was about me and wrote about me, personally, which is when I started using the term “football monkeys”.  Did I defend myself?  Not really.  I just gave back what I got.

No I don’t listen to “The American Life”.  I don’t even know what that is.  I don’t have a subscription to “The New York Review of Books”.  I see you’re another psychologist who can read the entirety of a person’s character and habits from his lack of interest in football.  I would like it if you told me what “The American Life” is.  It sounds interesting.  I’d like to check it out.

Dr Kate offered her psychoanalytical expertise.  I assumed she must be a Doctor of Psychology. The sarcasm is clear.

If “sarcasm” is your word for “utter obnoxiousness,” then I agree.

What I don’t get is that, last I checked, there’s almost an even 50/50 gender split when it comes to Super Bowl viewership.  Do the advertisers think the misogyny goes over our heads?  I won’t buy a Flo TV now, I already don’t use GoDaddy.com because I’m clearly not wanted as a customer.  What sense is there in advertising to one group if you tick off the rest of your potential customers?

To lighten the mood a bit, I present my all-time favourite Super Bowl ad (with the much-missed Robert Goulet): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPtpo1OuYcs

Hardly a deeply psychoanalytic exercise if a group of 13 and 14 year old kids can design a comedy skit around the very same phenomenon as is being observed here.

Funny, but I seem to remember the first comment by DBK was something deeply condescending:
Are they still running that stupid game?  Do people really watch it?

But he didn’t come here looking for a fight or to imagine and manufacture slights.  Oh no!

Uh, yeah, Doc, that was a direct and deeply personal insult to you.  I called the Super Bowl “a stupid game”.  I can see why so many were so injured.

Actually, DBK, I think people are pissed that you won’t shut up and let us have a conversation about the Super Bowl ads, what this post is actually supposed to be discussing, and instead need to tell us at *great length* about your personal feelings on a game you didn’t watch are, which is neither relevant nor interesting.

In actual topical posting, I just saw the E-Trade baby commercial, and have they actually made that baby creepier?  I didn’t really think that was possible.

Alright, let’s everybody take a deep breath, ignore the asshole that is DBK, take a moment to remember the on-side kick (have you ever seen a decision that ballsy on the field? My husband hates NFL football, but came in from the kitchen and made me rewind it.) and focus on the ads.

I’d forgotten about the Orca ad, Ms. Kate, and thought it was awesome. Probably my favorite. Of course, Bridgestone also had the the “Take My Wife” ad, so that clearly cancels out. The human dolphin ad was deeply creepy, but there was a male human dolphin too, so I’m not sure it was woman-hating so much as people-hating. And creepy.

I didn’t recognize Michael Hall’s voice on the Charger ad, but I agree that takes it to a whole new level of disgusting misogyny. The implied threat is pretty blatant.

I don’t know if the FOF ad was scared to actually talk about abortion (I know CBS wouldn’t let them say the word) or what, but it could have been a commercial for a hospital’s neonatal unit.

I didn’t recognize Michael Hall’s voice on the Charger ad, but I agree that takes it to a whole new level of disgusting misogyny.

Having never seen Dexter I didn’t recognize it either, but definitely noted to my brother that “holy shit, that guy sounds like an axe murderer.”

So I guess...mission...accomplished?

I thought the Kia Sorrento add was cute…

Oh, the Dorito ad with the guy in the coffin?  The actor is a barista at my “local” Starbucks =)

I didn’t see most of the ads or the first quarter of the game.  Holy crap was that some awesomely entertaining football.

And mansplaining football = stoopid is really entertaining too.  I hope the universe-ending prediction is wrong, cuz my husband just got (unofficially) accepted to med school.

I know! Tell me about it! I don’t even own a television! I can’t believe these people are watching something as mundane and stupid as “sports” on the “boob tube”!

Notice I say “television” and not “TV,” because “TV” is a nickname and nicknames are for friends and television IS NO FRIEND OF MINE!

Jupiter’s thunder!

I’d forgotten about the Orca ad, Ms. Kate, and thought it was awesome.

I liked it too, especially the part where the guy is pouring (a small) bottle of water on the (huge) orca to keep it wet.

I’m just going to add that a man mansplaining that football is stupid is such a fucking awesome and amazing event that the universe is probably going to end later this afternoon.

This must be Thursday.  I could never get the hang of Thursdays.

I always use the annual Super Bowl ads to gauge the national zeitgeist, Ozymandias-style.  This year, the people at my Super Bowl party agreed, the zeitgeist seemed to be masculine anxiety and dogs slapping people.  I don’t know what this foretells for 2010.

The stupidest part of the Flo TV ad is that the woman is shopping for lingerie.  So it’s unmanly to watch your girlfriend model lingerie for you?  And you can correct this unmanliness by using a product that sounds like a tampon?  I don’t understand life anymore.

The Audi “Green Police” ad was funny.  I know it was funny because I asked, “Is this just funny because I’m drunk, or is it actually funny?” and everyone agreed it was funny.

The Bud Light commercials were, for the most part, surprisingly equal-opportunity in their portrayal of beer-related partying.  I liked the one with the astronomers going wild in the observatory.

Also, this has nothing to do with sexism, but I hate the eTrade baby ads.  I do not like it when babies act like grown people.  And I definitely don’t know how to feel when the eTrade baby has girlfriends, goes to bachelor parties, etc.  I’m not the only one who’s creeped out by this stuff, right?

DBK, did you seriously take out a stop watch and time a goddamn football game? I’m not going to do that, because I have a fucking life. In the true sense. Do you do this with all sports? I mean, c’mon, how about soccer (go Sunderland!). In a 90 minute time frame, two, maybe three goals are scored. In your weird logic, are billions of people around the world stupid or something?

So, my question is, still: are you fucking serious?

Also, some people watch the Super Bowl for the commercials.

Oh, and I had the same reaction as other people when the Dodge Charger ad came on.  I was only paying half attention to it, at first it sounded like a typical “buy our product because your life is shitty” pitch, and then it started going WHORES WHORES WHORES WHORES and I was watching the first car commercial intentionally aimed at men who will use the car to drive to a gym and shoot up an aerobics class.

Maybe I misunderstood your question; it was awfully ambiguous.  You wrote, “DBK, are you fucking serious?” Who is this “serious” person?

Nothing to add, except to point out that as far as comedy goes, this is on the level of one guy says to the other guy “Man, I’m so hungry” and the other guy turns to him and says “Nice to meet you Mr. Hungry, can I call you ‘So’”?

If people have ever told you you were funny or clever, DBK, they were politely lying to you.

Also, this has nothing to do with sexism, but I hate the eTrade baby ads.  I do not like it when babies act like grown people.  And I definitely don’t know how to feel when the eTrade baby has girlfriends, goes to bachelor parties, etc.  I’m not the only one who’s creeped out by this stuff, right?

Hell no. I’ve always hated talking and/or unnaturally animate babies, including the dancing baby from Ally McBeal. Even the kid in that Kirstie Alley movie, who only talked in his head, annoyed me.

A long time ago, the National Lampoon had a comic about a murderous kung-fu baby. The creepiness of the talking-baby concept was perfectly appropriate there; that was a seriously creepy strip.

I gotta say, the fact that Michael C Hall is the voice on that dodger commercial really sucks.  He’s one of my favorite actors.

Shaenon:  I definitely don’t know how to feel when the eTrade baby has girlfriends, goes to bachelor parties, etc.  I’m not the only one who’s creeped out by this stuff, right?

I already popped into Jesse’s earlier thread to lodge a similar complaint but maybe it’s worth repeating.  The E-Trade baby is a douchebag.  I have called him “The Li’l’est Douchebag” for years.  The investment talk, the golf playing, the homosocial mockery… Teh Ick.  And now he’s sleazy and sexualized, too.  A commercial whose premise is that a talking baby is two-timing his girlfriend has gone far beyond loathsome.  It’s like “Toddlers and Tiaras"-level repulsiveness.

I think that as far as the talking baby ads go, if a company develops an advertising line, there’s less money spent if they can just expand on the concept, like the Caveman ad campaign for ... for… car insurance?

If it registers at all, half the work is done with the next set of ads. People see the baby, or the cavemen, and already register the product.

I hate the talking babies, and the cavemen ads. Although the babies are indeed creepy, I just find it professionally lazy. It’s the SuperBowl, for christ’s sake. Do something remotely clever.

And while “CBS hates women” is being thrown around for the Snickers’ Betty White commercial, I thought it was much more derogatory towards old people, and as offensive on that level.

@ John, apropos of this discussion, it’s interesting that the original concept for the GEICO caveman ads (IMHO) was that cavemen were a sensitive constituency that needed to be treated with political correctness.  The ads at heart are all about feeling offended and excluded by stereotypical representations—but making that reaction mockable.

I actually liked the kid in the Doritos ad. He reacted quite strongly to a very correct perception that his mom’s date was a pig. Dude deserved to have the taste slapped out of his mouth.

Man, I’m no big fan of football but the only thing I hate more than football is listening to someone fussily invading a thread to throw a tiny whiny lil tantrum about how terrible football is. How about you go buy a weensy TV to passive-aggressively watch lingerie shopping on while all the commenters on here try force you to watch football?

But yeah, I always hear that the Super Bowl ads are the best of the best, so I decided to watch them on Hulu this year. Yuck. That Dodge one really was like “kill the bitches. Kill them all” on repeat. I just hope whoever cast the voiceover guy cast “Dexter” purposefully as a “fuck you this shit is creepy” to the ad people (that would be a little bit subtle and epic.)

The Google one was pretty cute, but I still like the Batman Google one best. I purposefully hunted that one down and showed it to my friends.

Bagelsan, links?

The human dolphin ad was creepy, but the humans were of a variety of shapes and sizes.  None of them had a unibrow, though!

And while “CBS hates women” is being thrown around for the Snickers’ Betty White commercial, I thought it was much more derogatory towards old people, and as offensive on that level.

Yeah, didn’t anybody recognize one of the opposing players was Abe Vigoda? Who is not dead, btw ...

You think the E-trade baby is bad? The FreeCredReport.com campaign makes him look good. God, I hate ALL those ads on so many levels.

There is not a single person I hate on television more than the freecreditreport.com guy. Not even the dickbag brother from “Everybody Loves Raymond.”

Anyway, I didn’t watch the Superbowl because I’m not much for sports (although soccer and hockey are both alright, and I watched the World Series when the White Sox were in it, although if I had to identify I’d say I’m a Cubs fan due to birth location and early formative years.) I did watch the ads online though, and they really were awful. I hated the Dodge ad the most, which sucks since I drive a Dodge (neon bought cheap from my mom) and so I’m sort of promoting them whenever I drive.

The Flo Tv ad didn’t even make sense. The guy in the ad who was supposedly being turned into some dickless wonder by his ladyfriend didn’t even look like the sort of guy who usually watched sports. He looked like my husband and our friends who watch sports as much as I do, not a lot, and who spend most of their time playing music/listening to music/shopping for music/reading comics/playing video games/ and watching television, same as I do (with my tiny ladybrain and all!) All the dudes I know also really like cooking and trying new foods, foods that aren’t made of piss beer and neon orange. Which probably means they’re all big gay homosexuals, or women. Not big gay homosexual women though, stereotypes tell me that big gay homosexual women love piss beer and football.

I’m trying to remember where I found numbers (and I’ll try to track links down), but I know that more than 100 million people watched the Super Bowl this year, and a Nielsen study found that 51 percent of viewers enjoy the commercials more than the game itself. So that leaves 49 million people watching just for the game (regardless of how boring or stupid it is) and 51 million watching for the commercials.

It’s also estimated that 40 percent of Super Bowl viewers are women and that women buy 60 percent of new cars - so manly-man misogynistic car ads seem counterproductive. I don’t know how the demographics break down, but just for the sake of argument, let’s assume that viewing habits are evenly distributed - that leaves you with more than 20 million women who tuned in just for the commercials and are now pissed off at you. And for that, you spend $3 million. Which is a major fail for the ad agencies, because they have those numbers in front of them before they even concept the ad.

Mimi, it looks like it got removed. :( I saw it on Hulu awhile ago but now I’m not seeing a copy anywhere, even on YouTube.

The weird thing about E-Trade is that they used to have some of the best ads.  Remember the “we just wasted $2 million” ad?  That’s my fave super bowl ad of all time. 

The Flo TV ad was awful, so was the Bridgestone ad.  My wife & I wrote down the names of the companies with the insulting ads, so that we can avoid their products going forward.

The thing about this batch of ads though is that its just emblamatic of a trend in advertising over the past year or two.  Advertisers seem to be developing a hatred for consumers, and they are registering it through their advertising.  There were all those ads for gum and motor oil and other products where the company was inflicting physical injury upon non-customers, and even customers. 

Increasing levels of cheap misogyny that says to the world that women suck, but also portray men as morons.  I was insulted that a company thinks the way to sell me a product is to effectively tell me that my wife sucks because she isn’t letting me watch enough tv, and that I’m too big of a dumbass to ensure that shopping is done when I don’t want to watch a particular event (or that I’m too stupid to Tivo it in the first place), and that it’s impossible for me to actually want to go shopping.

Well, I will take Flo TV up on one of its messages - it’s impossible for me to actually want to go shopping - for a Flo TV. 

But, I’m happy to go watch my wife try on lingerie.  And I’m happy to go shopping with my wife for other things.  And I’m happy to go shopping for my own things (with or without the wife). 

I missed a lot of the other really bad commercials.  We finally just started pausing the game when commercials started and then fast-forwarded through.

To sum up my take on the ads, I definitely see the anti-male message: “Men, life would be so much better if you weren’t so goddamn stupid.”

But I think the misogynist message is inevitably worse: “Women, life would be so much better if you weren’t here at all.”

Pam Tebow looks the joker, and her name spelled backwards is Wobet Map!

That said, I half expected the charger ad to end with “and that bitch makes you drive a sedan, too - bitch doesn’t know it’s hot!”

One of whom recently put together a skit where a group of people are doing something, and a friend comes in and deplores the activity.  The others shrug and go about their business, only the dissenter starts escalating the perceived victimization amid their indifference.

Do you have that on YouTube, Ms. Kate?  That sounds better than a lot of the Superbowl commercials.

was i the only one who saw the bud lite ad, in the observatory? they see a meteor headed towards earth, and nothing to be done about it, so they break out the bud lite and start partying. near the end, a tiny rock hits the lens of the telescope and bounces off. momentarily stunned, everyone stops, then starts again, “celebrating” their deliverance.

ok, I thought it was pretty funny, not misogynist or mean to anyone. hmmmmmmmmmm, maybe that’s why it got overlooked.

Ugh, blue jean.  I think it is ultimately supposed to go on YouTube, but they have to finish editing it ... which means five or six kids deciding how it has to be.  That’s an unintentional skit in and of itself!

Not big gay homosexual women though, stereotypes tell me that big gay homosexual women love piss beer and football.

Sorry to disappoint.

I didn’t watch because I don’t like feeling obligated to care about football and stupid commercials because other people do. Not watching was a little bit political for me because of the rejected gay dating site commercial, but I can see now that that ad would have been in terrible company, and I’m glad it was rejected.

What’s interesting to me is how upset some straight men when I tell them I don’t care about football. I thought I wasn’t supposed to care about it anyway, not being a manly man. Is it less fun if I’m not around to feel excluded?

cpinva, the Lost, Meteor and Friends Bud ads seemed pretty innocuous. The Book Club ad was pretty stupid. I find the “we’re making fun of the stereotypes” line pretty weak.

I really saw a trend this year, as jerry points out at #162, of pure disdain for the consumer. The human dolphins ad was one of the creepiest commercials of all time, I would say, and there was some kind of webTV ad, where robot hands were kidnapping people out of everyday life and sticking them into boxes, apparently to be shown on TV, somehow. By the time the commercial ended, one wonders WTF they think they’re selling, and whom they’re selling to.

Comedically, we’ve entered a time where I really think people aren’t sure what’s funny. Jackass has reintroduced a new kind of self-slapstick, where we just beat the shit out ourselves and others, and it becomes funny. Tackling women and old people is kind of a set punchline, and portraying our wives as soul-crushing bitches is en vogue.

Perhaps there’s some kind of trend in trying to tap into people’s political anger, and disaffection with capitalistic society. If that’s the case, I can’t see how they think they’re succeeding.

Flip @151 - absolutely! Kind of like claiming that PETA is suing sports leagues for naming teams after animals, as a joke to subvert the work they do, and the work of Native Peoples’ groups to get pro/college teams to change their mascot names.

junk @ 168 - I believe that mirrors the disappointment people register when I tell them I couldn’t give 2 shits about Christmas. This year especially, as rooting for the Saints was supposed to exonerate us and alleviate the horrible feeling we felt in our stomachs, watching US citizens floating face down in the flooded streets of New Orleans, while our leaders made up stories of black gang-bangers shooting at rescue helicopters, and our “News” organizations were way more concerned with people stealing gym shoes than people drowning in their attics.

Yay, Saints won!! We’re post-Katrina!!

JohnGor0, I would agree with you ... except I spent the week after the big win in NOLA and this really meant a lot to the people i talked to who lived there and lost their homes (and still hadn’t been able to fix them or live in them).  One lady said “you in Boston had your curse end, now we feel like ours is ending”. 

That doesn’t fix all the damage that I recorded in my flickr set, but this really does mean something much more than football to the people who live there.  I have to respect that, sorry.

...and ironically, Ms Kate really does have a doctorate, and could be accurately called Dr Kate, if she wanted to be…

Given her surgical wit, Mr Kate might be appropriate…

Oh, I agree with you, Ms. Kate, I know it was huge.

I was mostly referring to people getting disappointed with guys who just weren’t interested (as opposed to those, here, pretending they’re being attacked when they’re doing the attacking).

Junk Science @168, I can’t tell from your “Sorry to disappoint.” if you thought I was serious when I said lesbians all love bad beer and football. I hope you realized I was joking and I didn’t offend you.

Jessilikiewhoa, everybody loves a cold PBR, Old Style, Iron City Beer, Lone Star, Dixie, National Bohemian, or Ranier while watching 22 guys beat the crap out of each other. Since lesbians are included in “everybody”, you are technically correct.

It’s true this year’s ads were completely about how “Women ruin men. And ruin fun.” It was conversation that popped up almost immediately at the party I was at, where we couldn’t believe it.

I do think that the part of that terrible Dodge Charger commercial where they say, “I will watch your Vampire TV Shows” was genuinely funny, despite the ad being very misogynistic. Is that okay?

Can I laugh at the stereotype that women like Vampire TV shows? I don’t like Vampire TV shows.

Ad age has a list of all the ads with a video of them.

http://adage.com/superbowl10/article?article_id=141954

All I could keep thinking of re: the Dodge ad was, “OK, so those guys are settling for a crappy DODGE???”

Sheesh, if I were that depressed by those womenfolk who (gasp!) demand that I become a civilized human being, then I’d go with an even more “manly” car choice, like a Hummer or something.