Amy Holmes—because she’s never, to my knowledge, made a valid or interesting point on television, but she nevertheless remains there.

I know it’s a gimme, but the list is incomplete without Miss Michelle Malkin herself.

Sarah Palin. All the vacuousness of W or Qualye, combined not only with folksiness, but cutesiness, the only thing that tempered her ability to annoy was the thought that every gaffe made people less likely to vote for McCain. On the other hand, we’ll see more of her in the future, and one’s compassion rebels again how poor Bristol’s been treated. She’s also a creepy reminder of what the wingnuts think women in politics should be like. Finally, her visage and interviews were nearly inescapable, unlike bloggers, who must be sought out to read.

Bill Kristol - he gets it wrong an astounding percentage of the time, even for a conservative (and often on trivial or non-partisan issues); he gets it wrong in a prominent and respected forum that he consistently badmouths even though he hardly deserves to be there; he wuuuuvs Sarah Palin; and he’s generally just a smug, pompous douche.

Some samples of Kristol’s finest:
Kristol defends Cheney and Blagojevich
Kristol on The Daily Show
Just one piece in a long string of contradictory—but somehow all specious!—advice to the McCain campaign.

I think Bill Kristol will probably be on it regardless, so I’m nominating Dick Morris. He’s been wrong.
About everything.

Even on election nigt on his live blog he was screaming about how THE BRADLEY EFFECT IS REAL! THE BRADLEY EFFECT IS REAL! When Obama won PA, he said WELL IT’S REAL IN OHIO! DOWN TO THE WIRE! Then when Obama won Ohio, he said it’s over, but it’s just a squeaker. Obama can’t get over 300 EVs. THE POLLS WERE WRONG!

He was never heard from on his liveblog after that.

From here:

http://www.dickmorris.com/blog/2008/11/04/contradictory-information-from-indiana-and-kentucky/#more-481

It’s like this man has no memory. He has been wrong about everything, but never admitted to it and still gets invited on TV news. Why? I think he deserves to be on the list.

Dr. Mike S. Adams, Phd (Pretty huge dickweed), because he leaves me wanting to punch every time he writes. Racist, misogynist, homophobic, and just, well, rock-stupid.
http://world-o-crap.com/blog/?p=975
http://world-o-crap.com/blog/?p=1017
(those were just two examples. You could pick any random column of his from the last 12 months and find something in it that makes your skin crawl.

Oh, and Dick Morris also said he was “100% certain” that Israel would attack Iran before the election because they were afraid Obama was too weak. Yeah. He was wrong about that, too.

Amity Shlaes, for serving as the mainstream media’s go-to pundit to push the line that FDR caused the Great Depression.

Thomas Sowell - generally a garden-variety glibertarian except on matters of race, where he’ll pull out the twin talking points that Racism is Dead and Black People Make All Their Own Problems, and since he’s a Black Republican, all the cryptoracist yutzes can point to him and say “look, a black man said this about black people so it must be true, thank god for the good blacks”.

I nominate Paul Shanklin for actually penning “Barack The Magic Negro” amongst the other litany of disgusting parodies he did.  Additional credit for Lush Rimjob and Chip Saltsman.

Pam Geller, Debbie Schlussel, Charles Johnson and/or Mark Styen for their psychosexual hysterical racist hate-on for all things Arab and Muslim.  I am sure they are creaming their pants over the carnage in Gaza.

I second Kathy re:, Mark Steyn. The guy is a low, scum sucking piece of shit.

I’m sure Palin is a given, but let me just second that. Thatvoice—that soul-crushing voice.  The headache-inducing labor of trying to make sense of her utterances.  The continuous reminders that men of an all-too-conspicuous stripe found her hot. The aching nausea of the thought that she might, just might, actually become Vice-President. There may have been even wingier wingnuts, but for sheer power to annoy, she had no equal.

Are you open to non-USian nominees? Stephen Harper has been annoying the hell out of me. During his election campaign he claimed that ordinary Canadians don’t care about the arts (hah) and his rhetoric about the coalition has been misleading and incredibly divisive.

We’re likely to have another election next year. If so, I expect that he’ll bring the sweater vests out in full force.

Fred Phelps.  While Hannity and O’Reilly are offensive, you can turn them off.  This guy is so loathsome, that he travels to funerals, and while survivors are trying to heal, gives them a hate fest against homosexuality.

If I believed in hell, I’d think there was a special circle, just for him.  The sheer cruelty and utter lack of sympathy is astounding.

I can’t believe nobody has named Anne Coulter.

Caitlin Flanigan also gets a nomination from me.

Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA), for being a transparent, self-promoting, talking-point-repeating douchebag, and (predictably enough) being promoted to Republican Whip because of it.

By shamelessly lying while talking way too slowly and smiling way too much, this man embodies the word “annoying”.

Mike Huckabee- he terrifies me. That “I’m just a nice, regular guy” act while behind those beady, pig-like eyes you know that he’s plotting nothing less than bringing America to it’s knees with the bye-bull.

and Rush Limbaugh. What about that disgusting example of a human being merits being one of the “Most Interesting People of the Year”? The drug addiction? The messed up NYT article that tours through his awful house?

I am tired though… having done some battle with conservabot relatives here “back home” in MN lately.
It just cuts to the bone realizing how much people get suckered into believing that these types are in any way worthwhile.

Rush Limbaugh, because…. well, he’s *RUSH*... What more needs to be said?

And Newt. Because he’s being extra special douchy recently by being ‘reasonable’, when he doesn’t mean it.

Without hesitation: Pam Geller. Just a couple posts from today’s title page:

“JEW HATERS OUTTA CONTROL IN ISLAMIC UK”

“WORLD JEW HATE REACHES FEVER PITCH”

And let us not forget her comparison of the Miami transit system with Joseph Goebbels

Benedict the Whateverth, for his support of sexism and homophobia, and his continuing suppression of investigation into priestly pedophilia.

SJK, I’ve never heard of that woman before. Is she like the Fred Phelps of Muslim-hatred?

Oh merciful heavens, I hadn’t realised until just now that Pam Geller had CHILDREN. Oh, those poor kids.

Jennie Chauncey, founders of Ladies Against Feminism.

http://www.ladiesagainstfeminism.com/

I’ll second Amity Shlaes and add that she also had the audacity to defend the Bush administration’s response to Katrina.  I’ll also second Fred Phelps because not only does he espouse hate, but he’s too much of a coward to back it up.  There was a funeral for a GI a few months (prolly closer to a year) ago.  The Westboro fools threatened to come, but they failed to understand that people in Mississippi might be largely bigoted rednecks, but there are some occasions during which politics and religious bullshit must be left outside.  Needless to say, Phelps and in inbred church didn’t come.  Also, don’t dis someone that’s willing to take a bullet for your ass.

Dick Morris in a landslide.

The man is a total whore - chiefly, for spending so many years with the Clintons, getting caught with a hooker and hastily resigning from their administration, only to then spend the following years bashing his ex-employers as a self-professed expert.

Not that the Clintons are above criticism—they aren’t—but the way Morris goes about it smacks of the integrity of a two-dollar prostitute in a Metro station (with Fox News as the john).

CHV, and he was about to lose it when Obama being nominated ruined his schtick.

I have to second Kristol—not just in and of himself, but as emblematic of the entire class of second generation conservatives out there.

The parental generation—the Irving Kristols and Lucianne Goldbergs of the world—were evil, but at least they were generally cleverer about it. Guys like Safire and I. Kristol were quick-witted, nasty pieces of work. Their children have the attitude but none of the talent that backs it up. It’s as though we’re now dealing with Sauron’s idiot son sending nine Corgis after us, shooting us the evil Eye of Too Much Booze, and honestly believing that he’s his father’s successor.

Sure, there are conservatives who are more dangerous, or more effective, or more evil, but I can’t think of a group more irritating.

Bill O’Reilly!!!! I know it’s kind of an obvious and boring choice, but he’s the leading mug behind the worst thing to happen to journalism since ... well, maybe ever (at least in the US). He’s also the torch bearer for the notion that men with Irish names have to be smug, reactionary tools. And he refuses to learn anything, no matter how well or how often Jon Stewart schools him.

In fact, maybe none of this qualifies him for Most Annoying Conservative of the Year, but he should really at least get some kind of lifetime achievement award.

Secular Conservatives—they support everything the Religious Right supports but for secular reasons.

Oh, and Rush Limbaugh.

Oh, how could I have forgotten Mike Savage? I definitely second that!
I also second Sarah Palin, and anybody who defended her.

Karl Friggin’ Rove. Can’t believe he hasn’t been nominated already. For doing almost as much damage punditing as he did within the White House.

Don’t forget about Joe the Plumber.

When the MesSarah no longer became useful for McCain, he turned to an idiotic nobody who only became famous for lying to Obama about his financial situation.  Then he campaigned for McCain and accused Obama of wanting to destroy Israel.

Ben:

I’m sure that Morris was elated when Hillary was nominated as the next SecState. It’ll be job security for him as the world’s foremost (self-appointed) authority on all things Clinton (including how many times Hillary sneezes on a Tuesday). However, if Fox is dumb enough to keep writing Morris checks, I can’t blame him for continuing to cash them.

It astonishes me why anyone pays Morris a cent for his input on anything. The man was spectacularly wrong on everything related to this past election - in addition to a litany of other things.

Albert C:

Yeah, when Joe’s little cult of followers asked him his astute opinion on US-Israel policy it was like something out of science fiction.

I forgot to add Dennis Praeger, equal opportunity hater of everyone non-White, non-hetero, non-Judeo-Christian, non-male, and/or non-Western.

CHV, Morris said that Hillary as Sec of State will be a “disaster” for Obama, which of course means she will be the best Secretary of State since George Marshall.

You’re right Kathy-no list of Annoying Conservatives (or Annoying Bipeds) would be complete without dennis the Menace.
What about Pat Boone, for equating protests against Prop 8 with the Mumbau massacre?
http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2008/12/09/7165

You wouldn’t think he could sink lower than that, but he did with a follow-up in which he explains that he looooves gay people. As long as they, y’know, quit being gay, or failing that, die a hoorble death:
http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2008/12/13/7329

[Poor Rock Hudson. It’s bad enough to be battling AIDS, but to be trapped in bed, unable to leave or scream for help, as Pat Boone enters his room and approaches him with a bottle of lubricant…]

Are we SURE we can narrow this down to only 20? (Isn’t it sad that there are so many canidates in this comments thread already?)

Joe Lieberman.  Forcing the DNC to use the Zell Miller delegate-removal rule and then following in Zell’s footsteps by speaking at the GOP convention.  (Added points for the irony of a Jewish Senator from a liberal state participating in an event that’s the closest thing to a Nazi rally that you can find in mainstream politics.)

Tom Tancredo, for changing my life with his “Before it’s too late” ad. I would never look at conservatives the same way again. Had I been an US citizen, that ad would have pretty much guaranteed one more Democratic vote

JOE LIBERMAN.

Joe-mentum has to win this category hands down.

I do not feel any need to have to explain.

Runner up, Joe(Sam) the (NOT) Plumber.

Again, no need to explain.

typo…  LIE-berman

Oh fuck me. “Before it’s too late” came out in 2007. Scratch that. I change my vote to Sarah Palin. She’s like a character that was cut out of “The Intruder” because her cheerful imperviousness to redemption was too unrealistic

I nominate Carly Fiorina, she demonstrated how to do in punditry what she did when she was a CEO.

Ken Blackwell. 

Pre-2008 he was the secretary of state of Ohio /Chief Elections Official of Ohio and honorary co-chair of Bush’s reelection committee in ‘04 (conflict of interest? moi?).

This year, he has been a contributing editor for the conservative <strike>paper</strike> rag the NY Sun, his columns begetting many an email forward (Obama’s going to bomb Pakistan! Obama’s going to practice eugenics through forced abortion! Etc…).  Also, because Mr. Blackwell is black, many racists were able to co-opt his items and claim they weren’t racist because, well:  “Look! A black person wrote this!”

Oh, and final touch for 2008: In Blackwell’s own bid for RNC chair, he has defended Chip Saltsman, blaming the hubbub over Saltsman & co’s charming ditty on a hypersensitive press.

Oh, damn. I’m a little disappointed I haven’t been named. The fact that Amanda had to make up reasons to ban me should be enough to get me on the list!

The fact that you come here with your anti-choice shit might’ve gotten you a mention in previous years,  Sharon, but not to make you cry or anything, your douchbaggery is minor compared to the folks we’ve been talking about here.

It would be an honor to be on this list….

Chuck Norris, who thinks fake-kicking people in the head qualifies him to make pronouncements on policy, religion and philosophy.

Then you’ll have to do better than posts that show what a religious nut you are, James.

Oh, damn. I’m a little disappointed I haven’t been named. The fact that Amanda had to make up reasons to ban me should be enough to get me on the list!

Sharon sure has an inflated sense of her own importance, doesn’t she?

I guess entrapping Planned Parenthood nurses with fake patients who make up outlandish sob stories can only use up so much of one’s day.

Ron Paul, for convincing many young people that women’s reproductive rights can be sacrificed for the cause of liberty. And for advancing a “states’ rights” argument that destroys individuals’ rights, undoing the constitutional protections that citizens gained under the Fourteenth Amendment’s doctrine of incorporation.

Before anyone objects that he’s not a conservative: http://www.humanevents.com/search.php?author_name=Rep.+Ron+Paul

Reading over the list so far, I second the nominations of Joe Lieberman and Fred Phelps, for obvious reasons.

I’d also like to nominate Stephen Harper, for completely subverting even the pretense of Canadian democracy by calling on the governor general to save his ass from a vote of no confidence.

Oh, and Elisabeth Hasselbeck, for checking her email every weekday morning.

Glen Beck just because he is a moron. Has anyone ever seen Joe Lieberman and Bill Crystol at the same time?

And Hillary might deserve an honorable mention for supporting the gas tax holiday.

Oh, damn. I’m a little disappointed I haven’t been named.

You’re just not important enough.

Leslie Unruh, Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, everyone at the Clare Booth Luce Forum, and Sarah “$150,000 shopping spree” Palin.

Darragh Murphy, for her astroturf “PUMA PAC.”

I’m at my parents’ house for the holiday and Rush is on the radio RIGHT NOW.  At top volume, because my dad is starting to lose his hearing.  Fortunately, my mom is also running the washer/dryer, so I can’t make out more than a few words.

Though I am freshly impressed at how much Harry Shearer’s “Birch Barlow” sounds like the real thing.

Glenn Beck, for calling on his audience to idle their cars and counter-act energy-saving at the Democratic National Convention in August.  As Ed Brayton’s reader Spotweld put it, Beck sounded like a Captain Planet villain.

I have two people to nominate:

David Addington: Cheney’s Chief Of Staff and former legal counsel, who gave testimony to the US Congress in the least cooperative, most sneeringly condescending, “I have contempt of Congress written all over my shiny white behind” way you could possibly imagine - in such a way, in fact, as to completely overshadow that he was testifying while sitting next to John “I wrote the torture memos” Yoo.

Roger Stone: who organized a 527 group against Hillary Clinton named “Citizens United Not Timid” - you make the acronym.  The guy is just a putrescence on the body politic

I would second the motion of Bill Kristol, who just gets everything wrong, always.

Also, this was a particularly loathesome year for Sean Hannity, with a coup de grace of offering up Andy Martin as some type of expert on ... well, anything, I guess.

And while I hate her with the fury of a cat in a washing machine, I would have to say that Anne Coulter probably has not earned her place in this discussion this year, as she seemed to have been not nearly as prevalent as a lot of other right wing demagogues.

Oh, and while Fred Phelps certainly falls on the right-wing side of the question - I don’t think that is the question being asked here.  I think even Michael Savage and Anne Coulter find him detestable.

Leslee Unruh and Lila Rose (the star of all the videos “exposing” Planned Parenthood), for being *female* anti-choice idiots.

I also second anyone at the Claire Booth Luce forum. Did they not think that “I am a Luce Lady!” motto through? I giggle every time I see it.

I third the nomination for Michael Savage.  A part of me really wants to name a certain bald toilet-snaker who may or may not be named Joe or Sam, but I just can’t stand the thought of drawing more attention to his douchery.

Ben Stein, for Expelled.

David Brooks, for making Sunday morning news programming completelyunfuckingbearable.  I’ve *never* seen a writer and pundit LESS informed on the specifics of ANY issue he’s invited to discuss. 

George Will, for his who-are-you-fooling toupee and because he, like others mentioned, also tried to spread two disgusting memes:  1) The New Deal didn’t work; and 2) that there’s a home for atheists in the Republican party (not that he tries to discuss it - he mostly hides the fact that he’s a dirty heretic!)

I also support the nominations of Michael Savage and Mike Huckabee and Amy Holmes, who can all kiss my ass, especially Amy Holmes, who’s sadly a commenter on Real Time with Bill Maher, and is a key reason why I don’t regularly watch the show anymore.

I second Ben Stein for the completely dishonest Expelled and Glenn Beck because of his not-so-cryptic calls for fascism.  Oh, and how could we ever quit Alan Keyes?

I know they’re quacking, but don’t George W. Bush and Dick Cheney deserve an outgoing nod for ruining everything they have touched during their terms, e.g., the economy, human rights (including civil liberties and I-think-I-actually-need-to-say-it-to-have-them-included, women’s and gay rights), the environment, the “War on Terror” and how the rest of the world views the U.S., etc.

Y’all forgot Michael Medved, the pustule.  And please add 27 zillion more votes for Ann Coulter (more if you’ll give ‘em to me).  Ick, gawk.  Vile, miserable….

Can there be a separate category for douchebag of the year?  Then I would agree with a Joe the Plumber nomination.

Ben D:

Dick Morris is truly the George Costanza of American politics: his every prediction is the opposite of what inevitably comes to pass which, I agree, makes it even more baffling why anyone gives Morris the time of day regarding his opinions.

I’d love to see his political powers of prognostication measured as a batting average. These days, I’d wager Morris would be batting in the pee-wee leagues around .032.

Barack Obama, for his position on Gay Marriage and inviting Rick Warrent and for not fully embracing GLBT & Q & Sometimes Y people with his administration’s policies.

Oh, and while Fred Phelps certainly falls on the right-wing side of the question - I don’t think that is the question being asked here.  I think even Michael Savage and Anne Coulter find him detestable.

Plenty of conservatives claim to be mad at GWB, too. That wasn’t the question.

substantially advanced conservative aims

James Hagee, McCain’s suddenly found preacher to get cred with the jesus freaks.

Hagee has Christians United for Israel in order to bring about biblical “prophecies” and thus the end time. Evangelists want us all to die.

Max Blumenthal at Huff Post did a good video on him.

So many worthy candidates! Kristol is surely the winner, and Lieberman deserves a prominent position on the list, but I find my monitor at greater risk of damage from thrown shoes when I make the mistake of attempting to read faux “moderates” like David Broder and Tom Friedman.

I can’t believe I forgot John Yoo, really the most loathsome person on the planet. Make him my number one vote, even ahead of Kristol.

I forgot the thing that annoys me most about Kristol.  It’s his “whatever, it’s only politics” attitude - it comes out in all three of the links I posted above, and it expresses pure privilege.  “I’m insulated from the effects of any of this policy making, so I don’t really care.  And frankly, I think you’re a little immature for caring so much about it, so I’m going to be smug about my position.”

Tom fucking Adkins.

I had to read this horseshit over one of my mailing lists and reamed a guy a new asshole over it, because he posts tripe like that all the time anyway.  And I want Adkins pointed out for it.

By the by, someone here linked on TVTropes, like, a month ago, and I’m just now beginning to recover, hence the long silence.  So thanks a lot!  ::sighs::

Michele Bachman, for making sure we know which Americans are “anti-America”.

* “I am very concerned that [Barack Obama] may have anti-American views.”

* “What I would say is that the news media should do a penetrating expose and take a look. I wish they would. I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out, are they pro-America or anti-America? I think people would love to see an expose like that.”

All those entries, and your favoritest reichwing troll didn’t get a single nomination?  I know that I’m not as famous as Michelle Malkin, but think of all of the times people have told me to leave, to die, to have Amanda ban me, and I still didn’t get even one nomination!  :(

Just think what y’all could do for my reputation if I was to earn a spot on the Twenty Most Annoying Conservatives list!

Dana, what the Danish physicist Bohr once about a theory of Pauli’s applies to you:

Your theory is crazy, but it’s not crazy enough to be true.

Just substitute annoying for the word true, and the shoe fits

. . . . horny?

Rick Warren

“Dr. Neil Clark Warren” of those itchy eHarmony commercials

John Dobson

Oh, I forgot Rep. John Boehner of Missouri, for being a traitor against the country when his party was in power, and an obstructionist asshat now that he’s been slotted to minority status.

  T