Reader CatFromCrow, a Lone Star State resident, updated me on this ridiculous resolution in the state legislature to honor GWB. Apparently Charles “Doc” Anderson (R-Waco)‘s bill HCR 62, ran into a little roadblock when a colleague, State Rep. Lon Burnam (D-Waco) questioned the inclusion of language that hailed Bush for his “anti-torture techniques.”

You have to read the resolution’s fawning bullsh*t to believe it. It’s below the fold.
Here is the resolution’s text:

81R6158 CBE-D

By:  Anderson                         H.C.R. No. 62

CONCURRENT RESOLUTION

WHEREAS, George W. Bush was the first Texas governor to become president of the United States, and as he takes up residence once again in the Lone Star State, it is indeed a pleasure to welcome him home; and

WHEREAS, The eldest child of former president George Herbert Walker Bush and former first lady Barbara Bush, George W. Bush was born in New Haven, Connecticut, on July 6, 1946; he grew up in Midland and Houston and went on to earn a bachelor’s degree in history from Yale University and a master of business administration degree from the Harvard School of Business; after returning to Midland to enter the energy industry, he met Laura Welch, who became his wife on November 5, 1977; three years later, the couple were blessed with twin daughters, Jenna and Barbara; and

WHEREAS, This dynamic Texan continued his career in energy until his father’s successful 1988 presidential campaign, on which he served as a senior advisor, and he later assembled a group of investors to purchase the Texas Rangers baseball franchise; in 1994, he began his own career in public service with his election as governor; during his six years in office, he fostered an atmosphere of bipartisanship and gained a reputation as a compassionate conservative who based public policy on a philosophy of limited government, personal responsibility, local control, and strong families; and

WHEREAS, Having earned nationwide attention, the popular governor of Texas was urged to run for higher office, and on January 20, 2001, he became the 43rd president of the United States, making history as the first son of a former president to win the White House since John Quincy Adams; President Bush was tested less than nine months after his inauguration by the terrible events of September 11, 2001, and the swiftness and determination of his response would define his presidency; and

WHEREAS, In his address to the nation that night, President Bush condemned the acts of terror and uplifted the American people with assurances of safety and justice; he subsequently proclaimed September 14, 2001, as a National Day of Prayer and Remembrance, and on that day he stood amid rescue workers in the rubble of the World Trade Center and again offered words of comfort to the grieving nation; throughout the remainder of his first term and continuing through his second, he made national security his highest priority; and

WHEREAS, President Bush created the Department of Homeland Security and transformed the military, the intelligence community, and the FBI; he oversaw the development of new antiterrorism tools that have been instrumental in breaking up terrorist plots and preventing another attack on American soil; and

WHEREAS, The Bush administration met numerous foreign policy challenges, while also making constructive progress in relations with India and sustaining a solid relationship with China; President Bush persuaded Libya to abandon its advanced missile programs, leading to normalized relations, and he worked with European partners to fight terrorism and limit Iran’s capacity to develop ballistic missiles; in Africa, he vastly increased development assistance, and he has won high praise for his support of global initiatives to combat AIDS, malaria, and tuberculosis; and

WHEREAS, By pushing through a prescription drug benefit, President Bush helped millions of older Americans, and today more than 25 million people are enrolled in Medicare drug plans administered by private insurers; in addition, he expanded access to health care by doubling direct federal financing for community health centers; he also worked with congress to enact the No Child Left Behind Act, an ambitious template for educational reform; and

WHEREAS, For the past eight years, President George W. Bush lived each day with the safety and prosperity of his fellow citizens foremost in his mind; he took a principled stance on a wide range of issues of great importance to every American, and his tireless efforts will not soon be forgotten; now, therefore, be it

RESOLVED, That the 81st Legislature of the State of Texas hereby welcome former president George W. Bush back to the Lone Star State and extend to him sincere appreciation for his service to our state and nation; and, be it further

RESOLVED, That an official copy of this resolution be prepared for former president Bush as an expression of high regard by the Texas House of Representatives and Senate.

CatFromCrow also added:

And Chuck Norris reportedly wants Texas to secede from the United States so he can become the President of Texas.

Heh.

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