Now, see, this? This is fuckin’ hilarious.

Personally though, when he wants to tear up, I suggest a good old can of Mace. Or maybe a can of maces?

He looks like a kid throwing a temper tantrum.

“Personally though, when he wants to tear up, I suggest a good old can of Mace. Or maybe a can of maces?”

Pepper spray…

He really is some kind of post-modernist political comedian.  We’re through the looking glass here, folks.  The dude is simply a font of insincerity and bullshit.

THIS IS CLEARLY A LIBISLAMUNISTOFASCIST PLOT TO SMEAR ONE OF THE FEW PATRIOTS BRAVE ENOUGH TO SPEAK THE TRUTH!

Real actors use Tiger Balm.

“Personally though, when he wants to tear up, I suggest a good old can of Mace. Or maybe a can of maces?”

Pepper spray…

Kick in the testicles.

It’s for some promo photos, presumably based on the indicent he’s now best known for and unless he can actually make himself cry on cue he’d need something to make his face look like that. You know, I’m no Glenn Beck fam but it’s not exactly a smoking gun.

I thought assholes needed Preparation H!

“Personally though, when he wants to tear up, I suggest a good old can of Mace. Or maybe a can of maces?”

Pepper spray…

Kick in the testicles.

Square in the hypothetical balls. But I’d hate to blow the shoot because Beck isn’t weeping enough, so we’d better try all of the above. Maybe throw in an indian burn and a titty twister for good measure.

Real actors use Tiger Balm.

Tiger Balm is commie Vick’s VapoRub.

Square in the hypothetical balls

Oh, come on - much as we might cordially loathe Beck, we’d actually need some evidence to spread that rumour.

Or at least a really gullible audience…

“We’ve replaced Mr. Beck’s Vapo-Rub with Jalapeno jelly.  Let’s see if he notices the difference…”

Amazing. What do these people tell themselves to justify this crap?

we’d actually need some evidence to spread that rumour.

Let’s just say I reeeelly (squeezing my eyes shut for emphasis here, ala Beck) tried to debunk it but couldn’t. So it stands.

Who knew “Broadcast News” was a documentary?

Square in the hypothetical balls.

I read that as “hypocritical balls”...and it made perfect sense, like his testicles produce assholestrogen instead of testosterone.

And for the dim, it would also have been an offensive photo shoot if sincere. Remember, he supposedly comes from the tough guy conservative movement that believes that men showing emotion and empathy immediately leads to them having to hand in their synthetic penis gun and get anally raped by burly gay men quite possibly of the african variety. The whole supposed point of his shtick was that he violated that prime rule because he was so personally affected by the <insert conspiracy high on meth rambling> and whatnot.

And yet, this personal troubling moment is a giant joke that he’s used to, that doesn’t phase him one bit. I’m the guy who cries, yup, let me rub some of this shit in my eyes, ha ha I’m building a tolerance.

Skepticism is not the same as a trial. We are not trying a man for a crime here, we are merely trying to deduce what is the most likely scenario based on the available evidence and the “he’s earnest” scenario is seriously lagging, before we ever consider that he’s Glenn fucking Beck and he’s pretty much an admitted con-man.

Beck still is not as bad as that fucknut….Olbermann, not even a close race.

What’s that fake tear stuff called?  Besides acting, I mean.  Isn’t there something that make-up companies sell that makes it look like you’ve been crying?

“Who knew “Broadcast News” was a documentary?”

No, it was a how-to guide.

Why is it that whenever liberals point something that a conservative has done, the immediate response is, “But so-and-so did it!”  or “so-and-so is worse!”  Honest to pete, do they let their kids get away with that? 

Conservative Parent:  “Johnny, don’t kick the cat”

Johnny:  “But Danny kicked it, too!”

Conservative Parent:  “Oh, well, that’s MUCH worse because Danny’s parents are liberals!”

<u>Isn’t there something that make-up companies sell that makes it look like you’ve been crying?</u>

Glycine tears:

It used to be that a drop of glycerine was placed in the eye just before filming. Having a similar consistency to real tears, it would then simply flow out of the eyes. Nowadays, they use a “blower”, which is a small device containing a substance that causes real tears to well up when air is blown through it and into the eyes of the actor.

Greg Haye, Newtown

Instinctive actors work on impulse and create emotions “naturally”, as demanded by the script. Otherwise, technical tools available to actors include:

emotional memory, where an actor recalls a time when
they were distressed (for instance, when someone close to them died); or

sense memory, where an actor holds a precious object
that brings back the emotions associated with it (for instance, a ring or a letter).

Tricks for film actors include using onions or glycerine to
simulate tears. Stage actors can hold their eyes open or concentrate on a bright light. Some actors bite their tongues - also good for stifling inappropriate laughter. Some actors, like many people, just find crying easy.

Gerry Sont, Lindfield

The actress Glenda Jackson once said: “When I want to
laugh, I think about my sex life. When I want to cry, I think about my sex life.”

link

Link

Well, it’s for a photo shoot apparently. Do you think he was crying on cue during his TV tirades too?

His inability to cry on cue without Vap-O-Rub actually explains alot, though: He’s had such a comfortable, easy life that there’s nothing he can think about which’ll make him cry immediately. How many of us over the age of 14 or so can say that?

I’ve seen that face before ... it usually results from the word “no” being appropriately applied to a toddler and enforced.

Badkitty-

I think it has something to do with the emptiness of their lives, the privileged haze of middle-class white existence, carefully scrubbed of color, of humanity, of nature even, until one’s life (safe, now) feels sterile and unlived in, dangerously close to a literal cog running out the clock on an unremarked on life, perhaps one that has brought more harm than good.

Somewhere in there, a battle takes form, but one that is a game, one where one is only a half participant, safe from the penalties of losing, but still able to enjoy the raw thrill of actual emotions, actual investment in something bigger (and in the case of rapturists and libertarians) something with the stake of the whole world where you’re a bigger than life participant who got on the smart train.

And that game is one of libs and “us” and Team “Us” needs to win against them. And along that ride, it went until the game didn’t even really need scorecards anymore or elections, the point was just to win by pissing off a lib. This was the easiest game of all, because it’s just a game, no real investment, you get to fuck with their actual lives and then mock them for caring, and best of all you get to employ the only skills you’ve ever had in your miserable life: open resentment of the other and petty passive-aggressive cruelty.

And if you keep on that, you may never notice that if you keep treating it like a game, you don’t notice that the stuff you were fighting over did matter and that if it got bad enough, privilege alone wasn’t going to save your worthless ass and now that aloneness is deeper more potent and more filled with failure, but maybe, if you keep playing there’ll be that win and it’ll matter.

At least, that’s my theory.

His inability to cry on cue without Vap-O-Rub actually explains alot, though: He’s had such a comfortable, easy life that there’s nothing he can think about which’ll make him cry immediately. How many of us over the age of 14 or so can say that?

What?  I’ve been kicked to a pulp while a crowd of peers watched, and thinking about that still won’t make me cry on cue.

Sorta reminiscent of William Hurt in Broadcast News.

So where does he put the vaporub ... under his eyes?  Or in his shorts?

God, I hope it’s in his shorts. And then let’s switch it with Ben-Gay.

See, the problem with that plan is that one would have to interact with Glenn Beck’s shorts.

So yeah, fuck that.

actually, mr. beck is probably at least a several million bit phony, as i’m certain he makes far more than 25 cents (two bits). it doesn’t make one bit’s worth of difference to his audience, they’ll believe him regardless of what the proved facts are.

ok, if you’re going to do this right,

“God, I hope it’s in his shorts. And then let’s switch it with Ben-Gay.”

use “atomic balm”, makes ben-gay seem like a cool breeze on a hot summer’s day.

What?  I’ve been kicked to a pulp while a crowd of peers watched, and thinking about that still won’t make me cry on cue.

Yeah, I haven’t had a particularly rough life or anything but even thinking about the few really miserable parts won’t make me cry. Time heals all wounds, etc.

Watching the bit of The Lion King where Mufasa dies would do it though. :p

Yeah, I haven’t had a particularly rough life or anything but even thinking about the few really miserable parts won’t make me cry. Time heals all wounds, etc.

Nah, I’m with Glenda Jackson above on this…

Personally though, when he wants to tear up, I suggest a good old can of Mace. Or maybe a can of maces?
Pepper spray…
Kick in the testicles.
Real actors use Tiger Balm.
And then let’s switch it with Ben-Gay.
use “atomic balm”

I need some target practice with my new Taser.