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Next entry: Camille Paglia May Be A Horrible Person, By Which I Mean She Is Previous entry: If the research doesn’t say what you want, just lie about it

Video homobigot of the day - Pastor Leroy Swailes

UPDATE: The transcript is below the fold.

Holy crap, I don’t know how I missed this beauty. During testimony in DC before the Board of Elections and Ethics regarding the District’s law that recognizes out of state marriages (it was upheld), Minister Leroy Swailes comes untethered from reality to condemn homosexuality by invoking pedophilia, bestiality, the anti-Christ, and extermination of the human race (since, of course, homosexuality is anti-human).  Via HRC:

A beast has four legs and one gender. If you put two men together, you have four legs and two penises…that’s one gender—that’s a form of bestiality.”
Hat tip to reader aethersaplings for the mind-blowing transcript:

Now when I, when I was growing up here sex was only between a male and female. Now it’s between Adam and Adam Eve and Eve which I can’t understand. You talk about discrimination and people’s rights. OK. The thing about it is you have rights and you have human rights but you have inhuman rights. If a man get with another man a woman get with another man. That’s it it’s inhuman. So me as a man that deals with the deals with the opposite sex I don’t see how you can put the two together. You have to separate them. Once you separate them that would be discrimination. Cause discrimination’s a negative and a positive. Me as a black men when they discriminated against me I came out of my mother’s womb like I didn’t have a choice. That was a negative discrimination. If you discriminate against a homosexual that’s a positive. Why? Cause of the children. You’ve got people they called pedophiles. Then you got pedophilia. What is pedophilia? It’s when your deception is Adam and Adam Eve and Eve. And you’re going to look in the eyes of a child and you’re going to tell a child that sex is between Adam and Adam Eve and Eve. You become a pedophile.

These books here. These books here. When they talk about King and King. And this and this Prince (unintelligible) Prince is a pedophile book. This book here that says Heather and Heather is a pedophile book. Pedophalia. Pha-Phaillia. This book here that talk about. Daddy’s Roommate? Is a pedophile book. This book here talk about All Families Are Different. Has to do with what? You have, let’s see God’s family which is a natural family. And you have the Anti-Christ family. Either you Christ or you Anti-Christ. Make your decision. Whatcha gonna be? You cannot be both. But if you can look in the eyes of a child and tell a child they have a choice to be hetero heterosexual or homosexual you have a serious problem. And we’re back to discrimination and human rights.

Everybody should have human rights but you have to be human. You and me you deal with the opposite sex. That’s by nature. That’s a blueprint. If there’s a plan there’s a plan. If there’s a design there’s a design. That’s the way the planet was designed. We cannot cha-change the cycle of life. That’s just like oxygen comes from plants. It goes up into the air. It mix with molecules with others in the air. It comes down hit Mother Earth. When they penetrate inserts Mother Earth we have what? What. We have life. Homosexuality’d destroy us. There would be extinction of the human race. If you go back five thousand years and do the research like I have (unintelligible) last culture it was the death of their culture why? Because they gave in to strange sexua sex strange. They gave in to strange flesh. The same sex. Which is a form of bestiality. Why is it a form of bestiality? Because a beast has four legs and one gender. If you put two men together they have four legs and two penises and still one gender. That’s a form of bestiality. That’s what we’re accepting here. If you put Adam Eve and Eve together two vaginas are still one gender. That’s a form of bestiality.

We have to separate it. And when you separate something you’re discrimination. If I put a glass of water here and a glass of poison, which one you’re gonna choose? You’re gonna choose the water. That’s discrimination. If you put a heterosexual girl here and a homosexual girl here I’m going choose a heterosexual. That’s discrimination. Discrimination is a negative and a positive. In order to have a future with our children and everything the word discrimination have to come in. To protect children. I cannot look in the eyes of a child and tell that child you got a choice to be heterosexual or homosexual. That would make me a sadist. So what is a sadist? A sadist is someone that distorts sex. Sex is only between a male and female and somebody comin around and tell you that they’d become a sadist. And I don’t practice Satanism. And we as a city, D.C., we got to realize that you gotta ‘scriminate against something that’s inhuman. Thank you very much.

 

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Posted by Pam Spaulding on 03:21 PM • (56) Comments

Lock this jerk in a very, very, small cell with a dictionary for life.

Never, ever, ever, let him anywhere near a child or a school.

Comment #1: phylosopher  on  07/08  at  03:24 PM

Snappy t-shirt, too.  Comes across not at all like a cobra-eyed fatuous huckster.

No, not at all.

Comment #2: damnedyankee  on  07/08  at  03:28 PM

”A beast has four legs and one gender. If you put two men together, you have four legs and two penises…that’s one gender—that’s a form of bestiality.”

Well, that’s one of the more insane chains of “logic” I’ve seen lately outside of wingnut blog comments.

Comment #3: Gracchus.  on  07/08  at  03:35 PM

Keep talking, bigot.  You and your unhinged lot will do much for the cause of equality and liberty, if by no other reason than to make the opposition to liberty and equality (and beastly fraternity!) look batshit foaming-at-the-mouth insane!

Notice the absence of a two-vagina four-legged beast!

Comment #4: Ms Kate  on  07/08  at  03:35 PM

Notice the absence of a two-vagina four-legged beast!

I believe Minister Swailes, like many homobigots, would consider that a sexy beast.

Comment #5: Gracchus.  on  07/08  at  03:38 PM

Does that mean that 5 people having an orgy is like having sex with a squid? WE MUST STOP THESE CEPHALAPOD-MOLESTERS!

Comment #6: Gaslight  on  07/08  at  03:41 PM

Yes, but hetero face-to-face sex creates “the beast with two backs.” If that ain’t bestiality, I don’t know what is. One beast, multiple genders, two backs? Scary mutant! A violation against nature!

Comment #7: Orange  on  07/08  at  03:45 PM

Googled this nut and can only find links to this video. But his church has to be somewhere in the DC region. I’ve got a smart trip card and a dozen eggs so if you know where he parks his car, please let me know.

Comment #8: DC Fem  on  07/08  at  03:49 PM

Does that mean that 5 people having an orgy is like having sex with a squid? WE MUST STOP THESE CEPHALAPOD-MOLESTERS!

Oh, I needed that.  Thanks!  :D

Comment #9: Kristen from MA  on  07/08  at  03:56 PM

”A beast has four legs and one gender. If you put two men together, you have four legs and two penises…that’s one gender—that’s a form of bestiality.”

Me confused. Okay, I grant the oddity of the extra penis, but if four legs and one gender are a form of bestiality, then every animal on the planet is guilty of it by simply existing. Unless of course, they are having sex, with gives you eight legs and whatever number of genders are involved.

Oh my.

Just went to the website listed on his shirt. You gotta love their “In the news” section - with exactly two entries, one from January 2007, and one from 1959. This is breaking news indeed! And a headlong rush to…. not a lot.

Comment #10: Lymis  on  07/08  at  04:08 PM

Out at a farm the other night.  one steer humping another steer.  math problem legs 4+4 = 8
penises 1+1=2, balls (2-2) + (2-2) =0

Work with that one sicky swailes.

Comment #11: phylosopher  on  07/08  at  04:15 PM

Googled this nut and can only find links to this video. But his church has to be somewhere in the DC region.

A little more googling turns up the fact that he’s a resident of Oxon Hill, MD. The contact info on his nutty site doesn’t give an affiliation, either. I’m forced to conclude he’s not the pastor of any church other than The First Church of Leroy Swailes’s Basement and Web Site.

Comment #12: Gracchus.  on  07/08  at  04:16 PM

”A beast has four legs and one gender. If you put two men together, you have four legs and two penises…that’s one gender—that’s a form of bestiality.”

Lymis, you’re probably better off not trying to figure out the “logic” this fucking idiot is using. You’ll just end up giving yourself a headache.

And DCfem, I’m with you!

Comment #13: Mark  on  07/08  at  04:17 PM

“What is a sadist? A sadist is someone that distorts sex. Sex is only between a male and a female, and if someone comes along and changes that, they become a sadist. And I don’t practice satanism.”

Comment #14: asdf  on  07/08  at  04:36 PM

Do we call this guy’s observation PlatoFail or SymposiumFail?

Comment #15: Josh  on  07/08  at  04:38 PM

So… by his logic it’s fine with him if you’re gay, so long as you and your partner are partial amputees.

Comment #16: m'quirk  on  07/08  at  04:39 PM

There actually are animals with two penises, most notably snakes and lizards. And for that matter, marsupials have two vaginas.

Nature: full of things people call unnatural since 4,500,000,000 B.C.

Comment #17: dayraven  on  07/08  at  04:44 PM

Nature: full of things people call unnatural since 4,500<strike>,000,000</strike> B.C.

Modified for the benefit of Leroy Swailes.

Comment #18: Gracchus.  on  07/08  at  04:52 PM

Everybody should have human rights but you have to be human.

This asshole should be reminded that this exact argument was used to deny him rights 40 years ago and more.  Black people were not human, they were ni**ers.  Ni**ers don’t get human rights.

Piece of shit, up there.  Thanks for the transcript, b/c I wasn’t going to listen.  Couldn’t even finish reading the screed.

Comment #19: Caren-Sun-blocking Creator of Animorphic Pancakes  on  07/08  at  04:58 PM

Oh, and let’s not forget hyenas; they’re matriarchal and the females have fake penises.

Inhuman!

Comment #20: Caren-Sun-blocking Creator of Animorphic Pancakes  on  07/08  at  05:03 PM

it was the death of their culture why? Because they gave in to strange sexua sex strange.

Despite the eloquent warning, I will continue to give in to Strange Sexua Sex Strange.  On a good day.

Comment #21: FlipYrWhig  on  07/08  at  05:04 PM

I don’t think he even manages to keep a thought going to the end of a single sentence.  He’s just raving.

Hell, Palin was more intelligible than this.  And that’s not something I say lightly.

Comment #22: damnedyankee  on  07/08  at  05:04 PM

Also, is it me, or is this video actually losing the stars it has as time goes on?

Comment #23: damnedyankee  on  07/08  at  05:06 PM

“There actually are animals with two penises, most notably snakes and lizards.”
Also sharks (claspers aren’t technically penises, iirc, but they perform the same function).

Comment #24: Devonian  on  07/08  at  05:14 PM

Meanwhile, back in the real world, sane humans are acting sane:

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2009/7/8/751303/-Breaking-ish:-Massachusetts-Challenges-DOMA

Comment #25: judybrowni  on  07/08  at  05:28 PM

Because a beast has four legs and one gender. If you put two men together they have four legs and two penises and still one gender. That’s a form of bestiality. That’s what we’re accepting here. If you put Adam Eve and Eve together two vaginas are still one gender.

How about a monkey with four asses?

Comment #26: Joshua  on  07/08  at  05:30 PM

Does anyone actually follow this clown?

Comment #27: Sam Holloway  on  07/08  at  05:30 PM

LOL!!!! None of this even makes a LICK of sense! I’m laughing, but will be sad v. v. soon, because it may reflect how low the state of our public discourse has fallen.

Comment #28: liviaclaudia  on  07/08  at  05:34 PM

Here’s a complete transcript of what happens when already-bad arguments against same-sex marriage fall into the hands of someone truly stupid:

Now when I was growing up, here, sex was only between a male and a female. Now, it’s between Adam and Adam, Eve and Eve, which I can’t understand. They’re talking about discrimination and equal rights, okay. The thing about it is you have rights and you have human rights, but you have inhuman rights. If a man deals with another man, and a woman deals with another man, that’s considered…it’s inhuman.

So me as a man, that deals with the opposite sex, I don’t see how you can put the two together; you have to separate them. Once you separate them, that would be discrimination, because discrimination is a negative and a positive. Me as a black man, when they discriminate against me – I came out of my mother’s womb, like I didn’t have a choice. That was a negative discrimination. If you discriminate against a homosexual, that’s a positive. Why? Because it’s a choice.

You got people they call pedophiles. Then you got pedophilia. What is pedophilia? It’s when your deception is Adam and Adam, Eve and Eve and you’re going to look in the eyes of a child, and you’re going to tell a child that sex is between Adam and Adam, Eve and Eve – you become a pedophile.

These books here…these books here where they talk about ‘King and King’ and this prince marrying another prince, is a pedophile book. This book here, that says ‘Heather and Heather,’ is a pedophile book. Pedophilia. This book here that talks about ‘daddy’s roommate’ is a pedophile book, This book here that talks about, ‘All Families Are Different’ [unintelligible] you have, let’s say, God’s family, which is a natural family, then you have the anti-Christ family.

Either you’re Christ or you’re anti-Christ. Make your decision what you’re going to be; you cannot be both. But if you can look in the eyes of a child and tell a child they have a choice to be heterosexual or homosexual, you have a serious problem.

Now we’re back to discrimination and human rights; everybody should have human rights. But you have to be human. Human means you deal with the opposite sex. That’s by nature. That’s a blueprint. If there’s a plan, there’s a plan. If there’s a design, there’s a design. That’s the way the planet was designed. We cannot change the cycle of life.

That’s just like oxygen comes from plants. It goes up into the air. It mixes with molecules that was in the air, then comes down and hits mother earth. When it penetrates [unintelligible] mother earth, we have what? We have life. Homosexuality destroys that. It would be extinction of the human race.

If you go back 5000 years, and do the research like I have – 86 civilized cultures; it was the death of their cultures, why? Because they gave into strange sex…strange sex…they gave into strange flesh - the same sex - which is a form of bestiality. Why is it a form of bestiality? Because a beast has four legs and one gender. If you put two men together, you have four legs and two penises – still one gender. That’s a form of bestiality. That’s what we’re accepting here. If we put Adam…Eve and Eve together, two vaginas is still one gender. That’s a form of bestiality. We have to separate it. And when you separate something, you’re discrimination (sic).

If I put a glass of water here, and a glass of poison, which one are you going to choose? You’re going to choose the water. That’s discrimination. If you put a heterosexual girl here, and a homosexual girl, I’m going to choose the heterosexual. That’s discrimination.

Discrimination is a negative and a positive. In order to have a future with our children and everything, the word ‘discrimination’ has to come in to protect children.

I cannot look in the eyes of a child and tell the child you have a choice to be heterosexual or homosexual. That would make me a sadist. So what is a sadist? A sadist is someone that distorts sex. Sex is only between a male and a female, and if somebody comes along and changes that, they become a sadist. Now I don’t practice Satanism. And we as a city, DC, we got to realize that you got to discriminate against something that’s inhuman.

Thank you very much.

A few people clapped when Swailes finally closed his rant, presumably because they were glad that he’d finished his hyperbolic experiment in word-redefinition. 

Gracchus: A little more googling turns up the fact that he’s a resident of Oxon Hill, MD.

Oh, so Swailes is a wandering minstrel of dumb. Goody.

Comment #29: Nil  on  07/08  at  05:39 PM

Shit. Someone beat me to it!

Comment #30: Nil  on  07/08  at  05:41 PM

Shorter Illiterate Pastor: Me no likey.

Also, ask the guy why, if we’re so well designed for hetero PIV sex, is it so pleasurable to stimulate that prostate gland and why it’s so out of the way that it’s unlikely to happen during penetration?

Or for that matter, why the vast majority of women need stimulation of the external part of their clit to achieve orgasm?

And if we’re talking about what’s natural, why are there a lot of homosexual animals while there aren’t a lot of other animals walking about spouting bullshit at each other about some invisible alpha male and an afterlife?

Comment #31: BlackBloc  on  07/08  at  06:02 PM

Notice the absence of a two-vagina four-legged beast!

My friend found out in her teens that she actually has two vaginas. Everything on the outside looks normal, so she never knew growing up (using the biologically correct term “vagina” here - not the popular meaning of the word). It happens. My question for the raving lunatic is, when she has sex, how does she achieve the approved ratio of genitalia to limbs? Think. It’s a wacky brain teaser!

A beast has four legs and one gender.

So chicken sex is cool, yes? Whew. Well, obviously not GAY chicken sex.

Comment #32: cycles  on  07/08  at  06:26 PM

BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

And I’m only like three sentences in.

Gods, thank You for futility, and for the hilarious packages it comes in.

Comment #33: Kyra  on  07/08  at  06:39 PM

You know, he’s almost as impressive as the World of Warcraft Leroy.

Comment #34: Kyra  on  07/08  at  06:40 PM

Slightly OT (but not really since it deals with jaw-dropping bigotry), a Philadelphia-area swim club kicks all the black kids out of the pool.  The president of the club then makes this statement:

“There was concern that a lot of kids would change the complexion … and the atmosphere of the club.”

(via Atrios)

Comment #35: Froley  on  07/08  at  06:47 PM

”A beast has four legs and one gender. If you put two men together, you have four legs and two penises…that’s one gender—that’s a form of bestiality.”

I… wait, what?

is he saying gay sex is fine if there’s a paraplegic amputee involved?

Comment #36: karpad  on  07/08  at  06:54 PM

This book right here?  Young David and Jonathan fall in love and make a covenant?  Is a pedophile book .  I Samuel is a pedophile book.

Comment #37: rea  on  07/08  at  07:16 PM

Okay, I’m calling for a new category. I mean, batshit crazy?

This guy is way beyond that.

Comment #38: SufferingBruin  on  07/08  at  07:29 PM

“There was concern that a lot of kids would change the complexion … and the atmosphere of the club.”

(Does a special “Philadelphia Fever” headdesk in honor of the hometown.)

Comment #39: damnedyankee  on  07/08  at  07:44 PM

That’s just like oxygen comes from plants. It goes up into the air. It mixes with molecules that was in the air, then comes down and hits mother earth. When it penetrates [unintelligible] mother earth, we have what? We have life. Homosexuality destroys that.

Hey, I can do my Master’s thesis on this*!  I can see the paper now: “Homosexuality destroys photosynthesis: Arabadopsis thaliana up and dies when exposed to Ian MacKellen”.  This is totally getting published in Nature.


*I’m a botanist.

Comment #40: Alex, FCD  on  07/08  at  08:44 PM

(Bill the Butcher voice) What in HEAVEN’S NAME are you talking about?

Comment #41: Marlowe  on  07/08  at  10:00 PM

I believe Minister Swailes, like many homobigots, would consider that a sexy beast.

YES!  YES!  YES!  YES!  YES!  YES!  YES!

Comment #42: Sour Kraut  on  07/08  at  10:31 PM

Does that mean that 5 people having an orgy is like having sex with a squid?

Nah, they’re completely different.  This one night, me and some mates broke into Te Papa with a gross of condoms and an economy sized bottle of lube and - um, never mind.

Comment #43: Phoenician in a time of Romans  on  07/09  at  01:04 AM

This is like Miss Teen South Carolina and Miss California talking at the same time, except this makes less sense.

Comment #44: Emily  on  07/09  at  01:09 AM

Oh, and let’s not forget hyenas; they’re matriarchal and the females have fake penises.

Can’t you feminists leave Nature alone?

Comment #45: Phoenician in a time of Romans  on  07/09  at  01:11 AM

Wait wait I have a question…

Does that mean that 5 people having an orgy is like having sex with a squid? WE MUST STOP THESE CEPHALAPOD-MOLESTERS!

Where does Cthulhu fit into all this?!

Comment #46: TheRealistMom  on  07/09  at  01:34 AM

Where does Cthulhu fit into all this?!

Where ever he wants, presumably.

Which leads us to the problem of Shub-Niggurath, the Black Goat with a Thousand Young - who exactly is paying the child support?

Comment #47: Phoenician in a time of Romans  on  07/09  at  07:00 AM

He does mention lesbians, actually:

If you put Adam Eve and Eve together two vaginas are still one gender. That’s a form of bestiality.

Hey, give the guy props, he admits they exist!

Keep spouting your gibberish, man. It’ll only make the rest of us look saner.

(And it makes me want to go find my ex-girlfriend, Eve, who happens to be African-American, and give her a giant kiss, too. Just to watch his head ‘splode.)

Comment #48: Nenya  on  07/09  at  07:22 AM

Anyone notice that if you go to the website on his t-shirt, under “News” they have exactly two items - one from 2007 and one from 1959?  Really up on current events!

Comment #49: Lymis  on  07/09  at  08:56 AM

Wow. Just about incomprehensible. But not completely—the vileness and bigotry come through loud and clear.

Comment #50: estraven  on  07/09  at  08:59 AM

I wonder why they let this guy go on.  If that isn’t a mental disease he is evincing there, call me crazy.  The inability to finish a thought…the manic thought-jumping…the paranoia.  He’s got something badly.  Did you see the faces on the people behind him?

I really must wonder why the moderator didn’t step in, thank him kindly for his comments, and move on to the next speaker.

Also, how did he get a seat at the table anyway?

Comment #51: speedbudget  on  07/09  at  11:00 AM

How about a monkey with four asses?

Or a seven-assed turtle?

Comment #52: Skwrr  on  07/09  at  02:12 PM

I swear, it’s like he’s trying to string real words into a sentence.  Maybe it makes more sense if you listen to him instead of reading the transcript?

Comment #53: Mrs. W  on  07/09  at  02:30 PM

Everyone knows that the real evil ones are people who won’t ever take their fucking Bluetooth headsets out of their ears, as if they’re expecting a call from the president at any second.

Comment #54: Halloween Jack  on  07/09  at  04:36 PM

The same sex. Which is a form of bestiality. Why is it a form of bestiality? Because a beast has four legs and one gender. If you put two men together they have four legs and two penises and still one gender. That’s a form of bestiality.

When I read this, the first thing I thought of was a similarly-reasoned argument.

If she weighs the same as a duck, she’s made of wood and therefore is a witch.

Comment #55: Maronan  on  07/09  at  05:36 PM

days late…

“That would make me a sadist. So what is a sadist? A sadist is someone that distorts sex. Sex is only between a male and female and somebody comin around and tell you that they’d become a sadist. And I don’t practice Satanism.”

whaaaa??? first off, that is *not* what a sadist is. a sadist is a person who gets sexual pleasure and/or a power high from hurting other people. and while they feel sexual pleasure, often it doesn’t have *anything* to do with sex otherwise - just HURTING someone.
sadism =/= “distorts sex” jesusfuckingchrist
sadism =/= Satanism! forfuckssake!

!!!!!!!

Comment #56: denelian  on  07/11  at  03:08 AM
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