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Next entry: Rest Of SEC To Become World’s Largest Pro-Choice Organization Previous entry: Women, stop crying. It’s really ruining Spencer Morgan’s boner.

Virtual

FeminismSexTechnology

A couple of news items were passed to me by folks, and I thought I’d put them together, because they touch on similar questions about the way that technology’s evolution towards replicating human forms for entertainment introduce whole new confusing issues about sexuality and gender and feminism.  Or, to put it another way: Brand new technologies, same old assholes.  And as the distinctions between the self and the outside of the self are collapsed with the increasing amount of time creating communities in virtual spaces, women are getting the shaft, because of the long-standing tradition that holds that women can be regarded as no more than objectified bodies.* 

The first story was sent to me by Tobasco de Gama, who blogged about it here.  Essentially, a dude complained on a gaming forum that his roommate was considering abandoning a PS3 game called Playstation Home, because some dude in the game singled her out for sexual harassment.  (He insisted on stalking her avatar throughout the game and crouching behind her in a threatening manner.)  Unfortunately, the whole thing got ugly because the woman and her friend used the term “assault”, which opened up the door to people doing what they’re going to do, which is to immediately hide behind the fact that her corporeal body was not threatened in order to excuse the behavior.  Well, okay, it’s not assault, but it is harassment, and it functions in the same way cat-calling and public groping do, which is to make the groper/harasser feel powerful and to make the space unfriendly to women, who the harasser views with contempt. 

The virtual nature of this may make it less scary, but it doesn’t change the fact that the man in question imported real world tactics to oppress women into an online format.  The commenters on the article dismissed the complaints by pointing out that there’s a similar kind of behavior in the game Halo, where you run over someone you shot and squat over their face, essentially “teabagging” them.  But as Tobasco points out, that actually doesn’t detract from the woman’s argument, but adds to it:

It’s quite obvious that “teabagging” opponents in online games is a form of humiliation intended to express dominance over the defeated player. I’m a little ambivalent towards this in the context of a competitive game, since often trash talking can be part of the fun. (See: the “taunts” in TF2 and a lot of other multiplater games.) The difference here is two-fold: First, this occurred in a social game, not a competitive game, so dominance displays are at the very least out of place and, frankly, would be considered quite rude even if the interaction involved two male or two female players.

He also points out that this is a man doing this to a woman because she’s a woman, which is an entirely different context than some dude trash-talking an opponent (male or female) according to the observed social rules of the game.  (That’s another discussion.)  This guy was referencing real world assaults on women’s lives and dignity in order to ruin her experience of the game.  And he did it to express hostility towards women for being women.  Like a groper in the non-virtual world.  Intent and context are what make sexual harassment and assault so upsetting in the real world, which is why they are a serious problem in the online world. The notion that this doesn’t count because her physical body wasn’t in play reinforces the worrisome idea that a woman’s physical body counts for more than her subjective experiences.

The other story is kind of the flip side of this—-an attempt to reduce women to bodies without subjective experiences of any importance.  This dude invented a sex robot, with the telling name True Companion (since those insufficient real women aren’t true enough companions, with their opinions and moods).  I watched the somewhat boring interview with the creator because I was curious about why on earth you’d spend so much time on making something that will only matter to a tiny sliver of the population whose abhorrence of women outstrips their disgust provoked while gazing upon an exemplar of the uncanny valley.  It was very….revealing. 


The main reason it was revealing is that men who get deeply into this shit are often excused—-and because of it, they play this part to the hilt—-as being sad, lonely losers instead of misogynists, as if those two categories are mutually exclusive.  We’re told that it’s mean to be horrified by them, that they are pitiful and definitely aren’t motivated by loathing for women—-and that feminists who do discuss this phenomenon are bitchy cheerleader types (which of course is why the non-existent misogyny is so justified).  But what really jumped out at me in this video was that this guy has programmed the sex robot to have all these different “personalities”, and that the very first one listed is the rape victim.

Oh, he doesn’t call her the rape victim.  He gives her the cutesy (rape-justifying) name of “Frigid Farrah”.  But when he’s eagerly explaining what she does, it’s basically that she protests and you rape her.  I’m sure halfway through the rape, she’s programmed to start liking it, because that’s part of the fantasy, that women secretly enjoy being humiliated and degraded by rape. 

So what?, you might ask.  Better that guys with rape fantasies take it out on a doll rather than real women.  And sure, I agree.  (Though I will put even odds that someone will whip out this strawman and accuse me of saying just the opposite.)  But it gives lie to the argument that guys like this are just sad sacks and not motivated by contempt for women.  And just in case that doesn’t come across loud and clear, the guy goes out of his way to say the most appallingly mean things about women.  He claims the doll is built like a “real woman”—-with, in his words, “three inputs”—-which of course is a way of saying that real women are basically a bunch of fancy holes to stick your dick into, and not much else, even though said “inputs” have other functions besides getting fucked in them.  (The mouth even has the appalling function of eating and being used to communicate desires and opinions!) And Figleaf has another oh-so-wonderful-just-a-sad-sack-not-a-misogynist-quote from the guy:

“She can’t vacuum, she can’t cook but she can do almost anything else if you know what I mean,” TrueCompanion’s Douglas Hines said while introducing Roxxxy.

Women: holes that do housework.  That’s what I mean by objectification. 

Hines goes out of his way to say that he programmed the doll with “personalities”, which of course is one of those double-edged swords.  Defenders will snatch on that as evidence that these robots are for lonely dudes** who want a personality and everything!  But of course, that’s moronic.  The dolls don’t have personalities, they have pre-programmed sexual fantasies.  By touting the “personality” aspect, Hines has his cake and eats it, too—-relies on the lonely dude stereotype in order to distract people from the appalling misogyny, and he gets to convey the message that the only relevant aspect of a woman’s personality is how she performs in bed. 

To repeat: I’m not saying that misogynist dudes can’t have their sexual fantasies, nor am I disagreeing that it’s probably better that they just leave real women alone.  What I am saying is that the refusal of people to admit that these sorts of things are in fact misogyny, and to hide behind the virtual nature of it or to otherwise make excuses is a serious problem.  Maybe it is difficult to root out a sexual fantasy, and that’s fine—-if the man with a misogynist fantasy realizes that’s all it is and he seeks safe, non-hurtful ways to express it, while otherwise respecting women and believing they are full human beings.  But that’s simply not going on here, and thus the space that’s created, instead of containing misogynist fantasies, is encouraging nasty attitudes about women (that they’re holes who do housework) to be spread around willy-nilly.

*There’s a long-standing problem of people using the word “objectified” to mean “observed in a sexual manner”.  That’s not how I use it—-you can look with lust and not objectify, and lots of objectification of women is outside of more pornographic contexts.  The religious right objectifies women, for instance, by defining them as walking wombs whose experiences of the world matter less than the contents of their uteruses. 

**Notice that the sexual needs of lonely women are considered so unimportant that they not only don’t deserve robots, but they don’t even merit a discussion of why there’s no sex robots for lonely women.

 

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Posted by Amanda Marcotte on 07:12 PM • (59) Comments

RE: Virtual harrassment - In WoW, I’d have people come up to my toon on occasion and start dancing while more or less right on top of my toon. I’d move, and they’d follow. I’d put them on ignore and they’ usually go away. MOST of the time it’s low-grade harrassment that is more irritating than disturbing to me personally, although I realise this is not the case for every, and the first time it happened, I was a bit befuddled.

It is only a blip on my radar though and that’s probably because I’ve only experienced it at its least annoying. (Anything like actual words is easy enough to report to a DM. This is low-grade, plausible deniability shit that has happened just often enough that it’s not coincidence.)

Weirder to me, is that when I recently had my account hacked (likely through the Adobe Acrobat Reader exploit—update your readers and patch!) I felt a weird sense of violation seeing my toon stripped naked in her Armory profile. This wasn’t about sexual titillation on the hacker’s behalf, mind you—it’s just easiest for them to strip and vend as quick as possible and get the hell out of dodge before the account gets closed by an admin who notices they’re mailing huge amounts of gold to a spam account. But it felt WEIRD to think that my virtual avatar had been under somebody’s control without my permission. There was no real damage, and except for a week of lost gameplay no real harm to me….but there it was, that feeling of violation. I had an overwhelming sense of attachment to this blue troll I’ve played for the last five years, and the idea of her spamming trade channels with gold-selling spam ads…so not cool. It wasn’t directed at me because of my gender, but just for my potential virtual goods, but it was still a little off-putting.

Comment #1: PixelFish  on  01/18  at  08:16 PM

I don’t know how generally on board I am with the expansive definition of assault that Amanda’s advocated previously but in this case it seems pretty obvious; it’s no less assault than anyone playing an FPS would call getting shot a “kill” (or for that matter, “getting shot”). In pretty much any virtual space I’ve been acquainted with people have no problem referring to actions by their real-world analogues so deciding that this case is somehow completely different and requires some sort of scrupulously accurate reference to the difference between virtual and actual reality pretty fairly screams of double standard.

Comment #2: Dan  on  01/18  at  08:22 PM

As a regular resident of Second Life it pains me to say that this sort of douchenozzlery is not uncommon there.

Comment #3: damnedyankee  on  01/18  at  08:23 PM

Ick.

Setting aside everything else (which takes some mental Chlorox, believe me), the sex doll has mechanical apparatus in her ... inputs…. and is also open source programming, so other people can program new behaviors. Anyone see the potential downside of this?

“Try my new Lorena Bobbit personality!”

Not to mention the “how the hell do you clean and sanitize things after” question.

The ONLY upside of this is the marginal improvement in the gene pool as a result.

Comment #4: Lymis  on  01/18  at  08:26 PM

Yeah, the creativity game players can have when figuring out ways to sexually harass other players is pretty impressive (in the abstract - I could probably more correctly term it “horrifying”).  I spent most of my time in WoW playing a female avatar and the difference in treatment is remarkable - females, and female avatars, can expect markedly different treatment in a video game. 

I just spent a good ten minutes typing out my observations when I realized I could probably write a book on it by now, so I’ll just leave it there instead.  I will point out that the anonymity afforded by an internet connection, not to mention the ephemeral nature of the interaction, makes me wonder how it could be confronted and changed.  This might be a change that comes as a consequence of a better offline world only - I don’t know how it could happen otherwise.

Comment #5: Wander  on  01/18  at  08:32 PM

The way the guy carries on about how awesome it would be to share her with your friends also gave me pause.  Seems like having a woman he can pass around to his friends without her objecting is really important to him, to the point where he doesn’t get that this is a particularly odd fantasy not really as common as he seems to think.

Comment #6: Amanda Marcotte  on  01/18  at  08:35 PM

Or maybe it’s a more common fantasy than I realize, though I guess I would have thought of it by now. I guess for men that find rape exciting, then that’s often part of it, thus the existence of gang rape. But that tends to be more of an “everyone at once” kind of thing—-passing someone off is a little different.

Comment #7: Amanda Marcotte  on  01/18  at  08:37 PM

There’s nothing wrong with sex-toys, dolls and programs, per se.

But do the programmers who get air time have to be such jerks?

I do know that in SL or WoW that sort of harassment is actionable - in other words, you can report it to Linden Labs or Blizzard and they’ll scold or ban the player. 

They’re working on ways to deal with it.  My favorite is the virtual ignore:  To have the server deny to send to the person you’re ignoring any information about you and your stuff, and vice versa.  Of course, it’s really low priority, and comes fraught with problems, such as if you can’t see someone you also can’t avoid them.

Comment #8: Crissa  on  01/18  at  09:20 PM

SDFNSNF

Comment #9: REXIMUS  on  01/18  at  09:21 PM

On the robot story, don’t you think they simply made the female robot first?  Men have more money worldwide, it’s the bigger market, and they tend to be more cuttign edge techy so they made a female robot to get out of the gate.  If this things sells you know there’s a male robot with all the stereotypical male attributes women would want hot on it’s tail.  I think the maker sounds like a douchebag, but probably an equal opporutnity douchebag.

Comment #10: Mintim  on  01/18  at  09:31 PM

Okay, flame me if you must, but I gotta disagree with a couple of points of this article. I am not a gamer, but if I am not mistaken, there are military style games where teams of people play online and KILL each other to obtain objectives right? In that light, the “sexual harassment” looks like someone was annoyed and was wanting to make a little more out of it than it merits.

Secondly, of course the sex doll inventor is a douche! He is a maladjusted, hermit with a little twist and a lot of time on his hands.

But seriously: “the sexual needs of lonely women are considered so unimportant that they not only don’t deserve robots, but they don’t even merit a discussion of why there’s no sex robots for lonely women.” WTF????? Almost all of the coolest sex toys on the planet are for women! I mean with the technology and materials involved, you would think NASA was involved in the design of most of these things! Women have toys that buzz, twist, thrust, spray, pinch, shock, restrain, fill, and every combination thereof, out of any material that one can imagine, with or without bells and flashing lights!

Men’s toys usually consist of what a sleeve? With a vibrating bullet stuck on the side? At best! Give me a break.

Comment #11: REXIMUS  on  01/18  at  09:34 PM

But seriously: “the sexual needs of lonely women are considered so unimportant that they not only don’t deserve robots, but they don’t even merit a discussion of why there’s no sex robots for lonely women.” WTF????? Almost all of the coolest sex toys on the planet are for women! I mean with the technology and materials involved, you would think NASA was involved in the design of most of these things! Women have toys that buzz, twist, thrust, spray, pinch, shock, restrain, fill, and every combination thereof, out of any material that one can imagine, with or without bells and flashing lights!
Men’s toys usually consist of what a sleeve? With a vibrating bullet stuck on the side? At best! Give me a break.

Uh… but are there robots for women?

And if you think the only toys for men are a sleeve with a vibrating bullet, you haven’t been in sex shop lately! I know when I met my boyfriend he had more toys than me!! Butt plugs come in all that buzz, twist, thrust, stuff, not to mention that men can pretty much use any dildo or vibrator as well. There are also all kinds of different cock rings and hand job helpers.

And none of this has to do with lonely ppl. I use more sex toys during SEX than when I’m single.

As to the post, my boyfriend showed me that intro and we laughed pretty hard when he said it was like a “real woman” because it had “three inputs”. Seriously, we even giggled about it the next day while we were having sex.

Comment #12: slingshot  on  01/18  at  09:45 PM

I find it interesting that lonely women are questioned about whether their standards are too high, but a lonely man should never lower his standards or change his behavior. Just keep on complaining about women!

Comment #13: shannon  on  01/18  at  09:48 PM

Well, to rebut #1 of Reximus there, these are two different types of games.  Yes, there are games where you run around killing people, but “Playstation Home” isn’t like that.  In fact, it’s a stretch to call it a “game”.  It’s more like Second Life, where a Virtual You walks around a Virtual City, decorate your Virtual Home, and chat with friends.  I think it’s impossible to hurt or kill any one in any way.  But I think you can see that someone stalking your Virtual You in your Virtual Community does have some creepy connotations to it.  And as some folks are crazy enough to take their inappropriate online behavior and take it on the road, I know I’d be nervous about the situation.

Comment #14: Jake  on  01/18  at  09:59 PM

I remember the same kind of thing happening to teenage girls on FRPG MUDs over a decade ago. The anonymous nature of this technology tend to attract cowardly guys who haven’t progressed beyond a 12-year-old’s conception of sex and women.

That said, you have to give the robot inventor credit for knowing his market of maladjusted nerds: “three inputs” indeed.

If this things sells you know there’s a male robot with all the stereotypical male attributes women would want hot on it’s tail.

And what are those stereotypical male attributes women would want? You might want to consult for the inventor, although he’s probably well along in designing a male robot that resembles a PUA.

Comment #15: Gracchus.  on  01/18  at  10:01 PM

How is tea-bagging not equally assaulting, though?  It has been my experience that it’s considered incredibly assholish to “tea-bag” someone on games, and it is a sexual thing to do in real life.  But, then again, not being a fan of constant refrains of “Noob” and “fag” I tend to be on the periphery of most video games.  My information comes from ctrl alt del: http://www.cad-comic.com/cad/20060825

Comment #16: Antigone  on  01/18  at  10:31 PM

“I find it interesting that lonely women are questioned about whether their standards are too high, but a lonely man should never lower his standards or change his behavior. “

If buying a sex robot isn’t lowering your standards I don’t know what is. The following link is to the article on SA about it http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/roxxxxy-love-robot.php

Apparently the personality of the robot is based on a friend of the designer who died in the 9-11 attacks. He missed him so much he felt the need to recreate him as a wanktoy for the masses. Owners can also modify the personalities and put them on the net so they can go “wife swapping”. I am not making this shit up. I’m not so much offended. The only way I can describe how I feel is I want to hide my face in the palms of my hands so I can pretend I never saw such a sad and pathetic event.

Oh and the tradeshow video,  http://www.botjunkie.com/2010/01/09/ces2010-roxxxy-truecompanion-worlds-first-sex-robot-preview-nsfw/#more-3746

Do yourself a favor and stay out of the comments.

Comment #17: pharmakos  on  01/18  at  10:43 PM

On the robot story, don’t you think they simply made the female robot first?  Men have more money worldwide, it’s the bigger market, and they tend to be more cuttign edge techy so they made a female robot to get out of the gate

Nah.  Now, if you can invent a male non-sex robot that cooks and vacuums, THEN you have a winner on your hands with the female market…

Comment #18: Phoenician in a time of Romans  on  01/18  at  11:05 PM

Of course the designer also describes the idea of a robotic companion eventually being useful as an aide for the elderly or disabled. About which you can have your own opinions, but if you take him for a moment at face value isn’t this just another example of new tech being used first in porn because that’s where you find people willing to spend piles of money for something that doesn’t really work yet.

(As for the, uh, persons belittling online harassment because a physical body isn’t at risk, I can’t even go there without wanting to carry out some counterexamples. Such any incredibly privileged asshole postion. And all hashed out 15 years ago. All these whippersnappers who don’t know their history.)

Comment #19: paul  on  01/18  at  11:18 PM

For those who are wondering where the male robot is, another article I read about this technology says that he’s in development….for gay men. 

Yeah, so there’s that. 

Another interesting thing is that the guy who came up with this idea initially wanted to make a replacement father for the kids of a friend of his who died.  (Which is still, you know, creepy as hell.)  But there wasn’t a market for that, so his investors steered him toward doing sexbots instead.

Comment #20: A.  on  01/18  at  11:24 PM

On the ‘passing the robot around’ dealio, I have a couple of ideas what that might represent:

1. It’s a form of hospitality. You come to my house, I feed you the finest bagels and muffins in all the land, you drink my best brandy, and you take a turn with ‘my’ woman. Providing hospitality is a primal social need; it relates to status within the group, either as a way to curry increased status or a way to display dominance already obtained.

2. It’s a way of validating your choice in women. If your buddies find her appealing enough to have sex with, then you know you’ve done all right for yourself!

3. It’s a way of conforming to your social group. If she meets with wide enough approval, you ensure your own safety within the group. It’s like wearing a tuxedo to a formal event. Every other dude will be wearing one; by doing so, you ensure that you cannot be made fun of for individuality. So a woman equivalent to and is no more important than a rented suit.

4. In the specific case of a sexbot, it’s like having the guys over to watch your new HDTV. It’s fun to play with gadgets in groups!

Comment #21: benvolio  on  01/18  at  11:46 PM

Pharm- notice that the guys aren’t required to say…try to become more attractive, try to relate to others or even try to notice the thousands of non patriarchy approved women right under their noses! Just save up for a sex bot! Because a man shouldn’t have to change!

Comment #22: shannon  on  01/18  at  11:46 PM

Oh and the tradeshow video, ...
Do yourself a favor and stay out of the comments.

I failed to follow your advice, and it wasn’t as bad as I’d thought - although probably between /. and cracked.com I am relatively inured to misogynistic douchebaggery in comments.  Right off the bat the doll is attacked for being not attractive enough, a complaint so rich with opportunity for deconstruction it makes my brain stop in self-defense.  We’re done, ladies - even the sexbots aren’t pretty enough, and they’re barely on the market!  Some comparison of sex dolls to dildos (THE ULTIMATE OBJECTIFICATION OF MAN!), some cooking jokes, although anyone who can afford a sex doll should be able to afford a second cooking droid.  I mean, suck it up, whiners, I don’t use my hitachi to whip cream, I have a second appliance for that.

Comment #23: Kyso K  on  01/19  at  12:28 AM

Sex toys like dildos and butt plugs are not advertised as complete replacements for real people, but as masturbatory aids. This doll is advertised as doing everything you’d want from a real woman, besides housework. Yes, women have made jokes about reducing men to sex functions. Those are jokes. This guy really did it and revealed that he literally cannot think of what a woman could be good for if not stuffing your cock into (over her protests) and cleaning up after you.

Comment #24: Amanda Marcotte  on  01/19  at  12:34 AM

“**Notice that the sexual needs of lonely women are considered so unimportant that they not only don’t deserve robots, but they don’t even merit a discussion of why there’s no sex robots for lonely women. “
How are vibrators not “sex robots”? Or the Sybian? or those piston-dildo things (I’ve never seen them called anything but “fucking machines”, I don’t know if they’ve got a proper name).

Not to mention that they’d inevitably make male sex robots if the female ones catch on, just like they did with Real Dolls…

Comment #25: Devonian  on  01/19  at  12:57 AM

if I am not mistaken, there are military style games where teams of people play online and KILL each other to obtain objectives right?

Yes. And nobody actually gets killed, and participation in the killing is done by mutual consent. Contrast to online sexual harrassment: someone real actually does gets sexually harrassed, and it’s not done with consent of the victim.

Comment #26: BlackBloc  on  01/19  at  01:13 AM

Once upon a time at work the legendary vanity plate 3MTA3 came up for discussion (it reads EATME in the rear view mirror). Our receptionist noted that she’d seen an actual California plate that read 3HOL469. I passed the news to the diminutive, neglected, cute, though not that young, workaholics in the accounting department, who cracked up. Except for the young assistant who didn’t get it. I didn’t stick around for her enlightenment, since I was already way over the line.

Comment #27: bad Jim  on  01/19  at  01:19 AM

<quote>If this things sells you know there’s a male robot with all the stereotypical male attributes women would want hot on it’s tail.</quote>

I’m a little unclear which stereotypical male attributes women want, aside from that whole not-a-vagina jury rig we’ve got going.  That said, I, for one, am very excited by the prospect of a robot that will be lazy, self-aggrandizing, and hypercompetitive.  He can play videogames while I clean the house and hit on my girlfriend when he wants to get a rise out of me, relying on physical intimidation and my conflict anxieties to keep my protests to a minimum.

I am excited about this prospect because I have always been curious about how it would feel to murder a human being, and this seems like a good training wheels scenario.

That said, that humans were going to make robots has been a forgone conclusion for a while now, and we’ve always pretty much known that the most marketable designs would be fucktoys and killbots.

I rather hope it takes a while for the latter to make its way into the average consumer price range.

(Attack of the Clones is on TV.  Is this the future you want!?)

Comment #28: Byronic Commando  on  01/19  at  02:03 AM

Shannon, I reckon that anyone who buys a sex robot as a replacement for genuine interactions with actual people has by default admitted to themselves that they have failed utterly and completely in the social world and probably not only with women. The sexbot is like a bizarre mixture of playboy magazine, pillow to cry into and imaginary best friend. The only way it could get more sad and pathetic is if they do actually put together a community of crummy losers who swap girlfriend personalities. I envision a news story about two years from now where 40 or so sexbot owners commit suicide around the same time because some miserable bastard will get his Frigid Farah encourage him to end it all because he needs to be goaded and then post that program to the net without warning anyone what the content is. 

” we’ve always pretty much known that the most marketable designs would be fucktoys and killbots”

In fairness to the killbots those have some pretty advanced technology. The sexbot it like something dwight and kevin off the office would build.

“Right off the bat the doll is attacked for being not attractive enough, a complaint so rich with opportunity for deconstruction it makes my brain stop in self-defense.”

If I was going to make a film satirizing people involved in that industry that would be the doll I would choose. Its like the designer is mocking them. Or maybe dolls look inherently silly and compared to other dolls it looks good, I’m not sure. I prefer the mocking scenario.

Comment #29: pharmakos  on  01/19  at  03:09 AM

I’m a little unclear which stereotypical male attributes women want, aside from that whole not-a-vagina jury rig we’ve got going.  That said, I, for one, am very excited by the prospect of a robot that will be lazy, self-aggrandizing, and hypercompetitive.  He can play videogames while I clean the house and hit on my girlfriend when he wants to get a rise out of me, relying on physical intimidation and my conflict anxieties to keep my protests to a minimum.

Byronic, dear - only if you program him to do that.  Oh, and you can swap the program with all your friends.  Wouldn’t that be so much fun?

I am excited about this prospect because I have always been curious about how it would feel to murder a human being, and this seems like a good training wheels scenario.

Actually, I remember a good sf story about that.  Couples would pay to take extremely life-like copies of their partners into a locked room and, um, work off domestic tension.  With knives and whips and the occasional chainsaw blade.  I did mention the copies were very life-like, right?

Comment #30: Phoenician in a time of Romans  on  01/19  at  03:24 AM

How is tea-bagging not equally assaulting, though?

They’re not sayin’ it ain’t, they’re saying it’s more appropriate in a game where the point is to murder everyone else than a co-operative game about socialising.

Comment #31: Brian  on  01/19  at  03:47 AM

I am not mistaken, there are military style games where teams of people play online and KILL each other to obtain objectives right?

By that standard, tackles in basketball should be legal and expected.

Comment #32: Punditus Maximus  on  01/19  at  04:03 AM

Rex, as has already been noted, Home is not a military-style shooter. (For what it’s worth I make military-style shooters for a living and I hold my hand up and admit that they are all about the violence.)

No, Home is a social arena—a sort of Facebook with 3D graphics. It’s a place to hang out and chat. As a social area it is really uncool to harass people in this fashion.

Comment #33: Lee Brimmicombe-Wood  on  01/19  at  04:36 AM

Amanda,

At the risk of threadjacking I wanted to ask: are you likely to be giving the Star Trek Online MMO a try?

I’ve been playing the open beta recently and have been enjoying myself enormously. It’s odd because the game itself is not great. From a pure design perspective it’s not very good, and there’s a lot of clunky stuff in there. But in spite of that it has been a gas to play.

It seems to me that the IP wins out over all the faults. Star Trek is such a strong franchise that it swamps the flaws.

More interestingly, it seems to moderate the player behaviour. For sure, I’ve run into occasional examples of arseholery during play, but for the most part, playing a Federation starship captain appears to bring out the better and more responsible side of players.

Of course, when the full game is released you’ll be able to play Klingons, and then I’m sure there’ll be no end of dickwads appearing in the game, jostling for some PvP action. However, at least you’ll be able to spot them coming, and if they behave like jerks you can legitimately call them on their honour.

Comment #34: Lee Brimmicombe-Wood  on  01/19  at  06:41 AM

Phoenician:

Oh yeah!  That was a seriously creepy story, as I recall.  Do you remember the title?

Comment #35: XtinaS  on  01/19  at  06:45 AM

“By that standard, tackles in basketball should be legal and expected.”

Hmm.  Golf would suddenly become watchable.

Comment #36: preying mantis  on  01/19  at  10:37 AM

I think in WoW it depends on what kind of server you play on.  I’ve only ever played on role-playing servers, and I’ve never had the problems mentioned up-thread.  In fact, most of the men I know in-game play female toons.

The only teabagging that goes on is after a boss-fight in a raid while waiting for rezzes.  It’s rare, but it’s usually done in such a way that it’s funny and serves to break up tensions, never done in an assaulting or assholey way.

I’ve only had to ignore one player in my time, and that was a guy who would not stop bothering me, constantly whispering me and following me around and showing up in my raids.  I put him on ignore, told the raid leader he made me extremely uncomfortable and a little bit of why, and that ended right quick.

Comment #37: speedbudget  on  01/19  at  10:47 AM

The interesting thing about this phenomenon is that it really gives lie to the entire premise of the dichotomy of male/female sexuality.

Men, we’re told, are only interested in sex. They don’t care about relationships, they don’t care about personality, they just want a hole to stick it into.

Women, we’re told, are only interested in commitment.

You would think that men’s sextoys would be strictly limited to various derivations of fleshlights, whereas women would have the full Mr Darcybot personality.

But here we have men who feel that they are entitled to companionship having an entire industry spring up around their needs and provide them with the “male fantasy” woman who is basically just teddy ruxpin crossed with a fleshlight.

Comment #38: Mighty Ponygirl  on  01/19  at  11:25 AM

Mighty Ponygirl, I tried to post this earlier but it didn’t seem to send - back in the day there was a blogger (now moved with no forwarding url) who ran a woman’s sex toy store who said that men seemed to think that women wanted super-realistic dildos and vibrators that looked like disembodied penises, where women just wanted something that hit the nerve endings and was, you know, kind of pretty, like maybe purple with sparkley bits. This apparently led to a lot of covert returns of gifts, because. I think that’s interesting in the context of whether women would buy male sex dolls.

Comment #39: purpleshoes  on  01/19  at  11:40 AM

*because, I get the impression, there was lots of opening boxes and trying not to scream at the sight of a battery-operated disembodied photorealistic penis.

I am trying to imagine what a similar full-body sex doll would look like, and not to make Liz Lemon-type jokes, but all I’m getting is some kind of combination body pillow, vibrator, and Snuggie that looks nothing like a creepy dude just sitting in your house in the dark every time you come home.

Comment #40: purpleshoes  on  01/19  at  11:42 AM

lol purpleshoes

A few years ago I went to a rather randy cinco de mayo party in which the pinata was filled with sex toys. When the pinata was opened up, and the mad grab for the treasure trove ensued, a male friend was begging his female friend for tradesies, he had his eye on a particularly cadaverous-looking vibrator.

His partner later explained that she woke up in the middle of the night to a buzzing sound, and all she could see in the otherwise pitch-dark room was a glowing penis… hovering and vibrating…

Comment #41: Mighty Ponygirl  on  01/19  at  11:46 AM

I just have to make an obligatory note that these issues go back to text-based muds, bulletin boards, and email lists from 25 years ago. See Cherney’s work and Julian Dibbell’s “A Rape in Cyberspace” which is a pretty rare case where a sexual harassment case resulted in changing community norms.

Comment #42: CBrachyrhynchos  on  01/19  at  12:08 PM

I have WoW a main of either sex (Suramar realm), and yes, I only get harassed when I’m playing my female avatar.  Actually I’ve been playing my male exclusively now for months and almost forgot about that dimension of gameplay until y’all brought it up.  No one’s grope-dancing on my guy toon or randomly saying Hi. 

I had the impression that True Companion is “branching out” and designing a bot for gay men.  Their mainpage a few weeks back seemed to include an image that suggested as much.  But I’m not giving that guy another click to double-check, so I may be wrong.

Comment #43: Ranylt  on  01/19  at  12:33 PM

One other important factor is that MMO and other online harassment is not always coming out of a vacuum. Back in my text-based MUDding days, an ex-boyfriend stalked and killed me character in game because I was avoiding him IRL (because he was acting creepy and violent).

Just because harassment and abuse happens in an anonymous online space does not mean that’s anonymous and innocent. I’d bet that quite a few people have used online space as a way to express violent feelings towards an ex.

Comment #44: Mighty Ponygirl  on  01/19  at  12:58 PM

teddy ruxpin crossed with a fleshlight.

Oh thank you _SO_ much for that mental image. If I giggle in the middle of dental surgery today, I’m blaming you.

On WoW, I also have both male and female characters, but I don’t see much of a difference in how I’m treated. The female blood elf does get a bit more than any other character, so I’m not doubting it’s there. Also the worst offenses in bigotry and harassment are assholes in the chat areas being bro-holes, which hits regardless of the gender of your character. Maybe it’s the server (Or I’ve put the assholes on ignore). Maybe it’s because I’m horde side, and the female models are ‘weird’ enough to be off the misogynists radar. Either way, being in a good guild which strongly values women players and actively discourages racism and sexism reduces a lot of the daily exposure to that sort of crap.

Comment #45: Left_Wing_Fox  on  01/19  at  01:07 PM

Hopefully it works out better than the Cabbage Patch Snacktime Kids doll…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQ5hIHqFIAM
http://www.nytimes.com/1997/01/07/us/40-refund-is-offered-for-hair-eating-dolls.html?pagewanted=1

Comment #46: vitaminC  on  01/19  at  02:28 PM

The only MMO I play is LoTRO (based very loosely on Lord of the Rings). It doesn’t have quite the raid base that WoW and some of the other games have, but I heard an interview with one of the devs that confirmed my suspicions that the player base is about a 50/50 split, and while there are the sort of eye-roll-inducing gamer assholes you’d expect to find anywhere, I’ve never had a problem with harassment there. Just an FYI for anyone into MMOs and looking for a change of scene.

Comment #47: rhiain  on  01/19  at  03:44 PM

*50/50 male/female split, I should have said.

Comment #48: rhiain  on  01/19  at  03:45 PM

I’m torn on the whole robotics/toy issue. On the one hand, I’m pretty much in favor of technologically-enhanced solo sexuality for people who are unable or unwilling to have partnered sex. On the other hand, there are certainly aspects of it that can be creepy in their objectification.

Comment #49: CBrachyrhynchos  on  01/19  at  04:37 PM

The so-called ‘personalities’ don’t appear interesting from a programming standpoint; they share more with conversation-simulating exercises such as ‘Elisa’ than the ‘spider-the-internet-to-reproduce-a personality’ tech on ‘Caprica’. If they’re programmable, that would be SUCH the virus target!

Imagine hacking someone’s sexbot to implore its user to ‘Buy Coke’ or ‘Get her a real man’!

Comment #50: Mark Temporis  on  01/19  at  05:17 PM

Oh yeah!  That was a seriously creepy story, as I recall.  Do you remember the title?

No, sorry.  I vaguely recall it was in an old collection called “Future Sport”, but if I still had it, it would be stacked away at the back of my bookshelves, and I’m still hurting too much to go digging through the collection. Still lying on a couch on morphine over here, alas.

The creepy part of the story wasn’t the sadism as I recall; it was the way the couples switched back and forth between it and expressing love, and integrated it into their relationship.

Comment #51: Phoenician in a time of Romans  on  01/19  at  05:32 PM

Imagine hacking someone’s sexbot to implore its user to ‘Buy Coke’ or ‘Get her a real man’!

Oh, you don’t have to go that far.  Cf the scene in “Grey’s Anatomy” where George is frantically working on a robotic patient simulator, unaware that the remarks it is making are being said by the Chief watching him…

Um, not that I would ever watch “Grey’s Anatomy” of course.

Comment #52: Phoenician in a time of Romans  on  01/19  at  05:57 PM

I’ve been harassed both in Warcraft and Second Life.  It consisted mainly of being followed and sometimes propositions.

Usually I send notices about it to Customer Service.  But that doesn’t stop the people who do it.

Comment #53: Melponeme_k  on  01/19  at  06:26 PM

I think sex robots may be the only hope for humanity’s future. Nothing else has managed to curb human reproduction yet.

Comment #54: pablo  on  01/19  at  07:18 PM

Your article was forwarded to me from a female friend that knows I am an avid WOW player. I have been playing various MMORPGs for the last 10 years now…and WOW for about 5 years. I am a female that plays a female character, and I know for a fact that this is not common. I have never, ever been sexually harassed on WOW. In fact, I get nothing but props from male players when they realize that I am, in fact female. The majority of female characters are played by men, and most people assume that EVERYONE is male! Of course there is some gentle flirting, but hear a lot more cries of “faggot” or “noob” than anything else. Unless you hear a person’s voice (in raids, for instance) there is really no way to know for sure if a play is male of female. I thought my guild leader (who is male) was female for about 2 weeks before I finally saw someone call him “Steve”.
Your friend with the playstation “home” experience might be happy to know that that virtual environment is pretty much hostile to everyone. My husband had a very weird experience when he was trying it out…and his avatar was male. The fact of the matter is, when you are in any virtual situation, there will always be some mystery about a player’s true gender. And maybe that’s the beauty of the thing!

Comment #55: snucky  on  01/19  at  07:40 PM

How does this:

“The majority of female characters are played by men, and most people assume that EVERYONE is male!:”

Equal this:

“The fact of the matter is, when you are in any virtual situation, there will always be some mystery about a player’s true gender. And maybe that’s the beauty of the thing!”

???

And I, for one, am not “happy to know that that virtual environment is pretty much hostile to everyone.”

(I also don’t agree with this statement, but that’s based on seeing moderated forums as a virtual environment)

Comment #56: jennygadget  on  01/20  at  01:38 AM

The first one says that it is likely the other players are male and the second one says but they might not be hence element of mystery. The game environment is hostile to everyone in the sense that in addition to being populated by people playing it is also populated by monsters that attack the players and depending on the game and player choice it is possible for other other players to attack you. In online forums no one “kills” you and there are no hostile wandering monsters. Unless we are being metaphorical and talking about moderators and 4chan.

I don’t play online rpgs at all but I do watch the guild.

Comment #57: pharmakos  on  01/20  at  10:53 AM

“The first one says that it is likely the other players are male and the second one says but they might not be hence element of mystery. “

Noooooooo

The first one says that players are assumed to be male, unless given evidence otherwise.  The second says that gender is a question that is always uncertain.  Given the first, the second implies that the idea “everyone is male” is rarely challenged.  And that this is a beautiful thing.  I fail to see how the status quo being left unchallenged is a beautiful thing.

And the “virtual environment [being] pretty much hostile to everyone” does not answer the question as to whether it is more hostile to certain persons.  I think it’s also a bit disengenous of snucky (assuming you are right in what was meant by that statement) to switch from the subject of players being hostile to other players to the subject of how hostile the game is programmed to be to all players and then act as if they are the same thing rather than simply possibly related.

Comment #58: jennygadget  on  01/20  at  06:16 PM

Generally I find, in the games I have played online, no one ever asks what gender the other person is and no one implies it unless someone decides to talk about something stereotypical to whatever gender. I can kind of see where you are coming from if you are saying a default perspective is assumed for everyone and that’s a particularly male perspective. The way I read it was a greater percentage of men are players (true) so you are probably talking to a male but you shouldn’t act like a goon because that may not be so and that’s a different kind of assumption to the one you saw. Maybe it is more of an rpg issue but in a strategy game its pretty offbeat because the importance of gender identity is pretty minimal. Its a pretty even playing field.

Google tells me WoW is 16% female and Everquest is 20% female but the women play for longer periods of time and take it more seriously so the assumption everyone you meet is male is probably a bad one. I’m not sure what advantages you would gain from knowing the kind of sex organs another player has. Unless the male players go out of their way to irritate the female players the world is by definition equally hostile to everyone and because WoW and so on are more social games its unlikely. Hardly impossible because it seems like the world always wants more genderbased disagreement but still unlikely. That and if someone learns what your gender is you probably know them a little bit and on the internet the worst people are the anonymous people that you don’t know.   

Come to think of it I remember hearing about female only groups of players so maybe there is something there. Anyhow, just passing thought. Do you play online at all. I “assume” you must if you take the time to post.

Comment #59: pharmakos  on  01/20  at  11:41 PM
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