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Next entry: Faux feminist pop music be gone! Previous entry: Pathetic yard sign captured in Raleigh - and Q of the Day

What the fringe clown car believes about Obama

Actually it’s a clown bus, not a clown car. The remaining staunch support of John McCain lies in the Base—the hard case bible beaters, the Freeper set, the low, low, low info voter, and those simply scared of change. Jonathan Stein over at Mother Jones attended a stop on the Our Country Deserves Better PAC’s “Stop Obama” tour.

You know all those ridiculous wingnut screams of “socialist,” “Muslim,” etc.? Well this event at the National Press Club was a cornucopia of batsh*ttery. They have strong Kool-Aid on the tour bus. Look at some of the current conspiracy theories about Barack Obama. They are below the fold.
In this crowd, Obama is guilty of the following:

- He doesn’t understand that inalienable rights granted by God are what make America great. America is a city on a hill and “there are those around Barack Obama who would extinguish those lights.”

- He and his supporters “vilify” anyone who questions him.

- He “mocked” and “laughed at” Joe the Plumber at a recent rally because Joe thought he could make $250,000 despite being a plumber.

- He is having talk show hosts who speak out against him “slaughtered,” by having Obama-friendly advertisers pull their contracts.

- He very likely will take away dissenters’ right to free speech if elected president, keeping them from publishing their views in the newspaper or from voicing them on television and radio. This is in part due to the “storm troopers around him.”

- He benefits from the fact that voters who oppose him are hesitant to declare their feelings publicly, for “fear of being attacked at their place of work, or in their homes, or their children being retaliated against in school.”

- He will try to “extinguish” our freedom of speech. Reporters who question Obama and Biden are already being “silenced.”

- He hasn’t come clean about his birth certificate or the country of his birth. While the speakers said they did not want to put on their “tin foil hat” and speculate about the nation of Obama’s birth, one said he would give only “even money” that Obama was born in the United States.

- He would probably have trouble passing the tests required to become an FBI agent. His associations make him unfit for office.

- He wants to use the Global Poverty Act to give $800 billion of US taxpayers’ money to poor countries, “mostly Africa.”

- He does not understand the plight of military families. Unlike John McCain and Sarah Palin, he does not have a son serving in Iraq.

- He had the opportunity to join the military during the first Gulf War. Instead “he went to the University of Phoenix to write books about himself.”

- He is supported by leftist leaders in South America, Muammar Quaddafi, and the “maniac from Iran.”

- He has “crazy ideas, dangerous ideas in dealing with those who would like to lop our heads off.”

- He continues to ignore the fact that we did find WMDs in Iraq. In fact, 500 tons of WMDS were transferred out of Iraq this year.

- He has no record from the Illinois State Senate. He has no record from the federal Senate. He never introduced major legislation “probably because he is too busy writing books about his life and convincing us he should be president.”

- He is the most liberal Senator in the US Senate.

- He “breathes air and fluff and words.”

- He is at most qualified for middle management. Yet he as the “audacity to hope” we will make him president of the United States.

- His vice presidential pick is like “training wheels on a tricycle.”

- His presidency “will change America as know it and love it, and not in a good way.”

- He would create an America characterized by “socialism and servitude.”

- He seeks to deny the American dream through wealth distribution.

- He is part of a “repo team” with Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi.

- He cannot talk about the needs of small business owners. He has never run a small business.

- He has the middle class “in his sights.”

- He comes out of the Chicago Democratic machine, which spells politics M-O-B.

- He benefits from a biased liberal media. The LA Times, the NY Times, and the Washington Post are “organs of the Obama campaign.”

- He doesn’t finish what he starts. He began as a lecturer at the University of Chicago, but didn’t become a full professor. He was a lawyer, but never became a partner.

- He “believes he is entitled to the president of the United States.”

Somehow, I think these folks cannot be reached with logic or reason.

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Posted by Pam Spaulding on 01:11 PM • (100) Comments

I don’t even know where to start.

Comment #1: SarahMC  on  10/30  at  01:20 PM

Ted Kennedy would be very upset to hear that someone has taken his mantle of most liberal Senator.  And if we bring the House into it too, Barney Frank might be a tad put off.  Seriously, This most liberal Congressperson really gets me—I wish he was that liberal and not afraid to show it.

Also, so of those are such projection it’s not even funny.

Comment #2: rowmyboat  on  10/30  at  01:20 PM

Too bad they simply cannot manage to use these vivid imaginations for good ends.

Then again, they might get blasphemous if they did.  Never mind that they are getting very far from Christian as it is.

Comment #3: Ms Kate  on  10/30  at  01:20 PM

America is a city on a hill

Sarah Vowell ably points out that the vast majority of the City on the Hill speech was given over to what we would now strongly identify as communitarian principles.  She then notes that if any Nation has fulfilled the intent and content of that City on the Hill sermon, it is Canada.

Comment #4: Ms Kate  on  10/30  at  01:21 PM

Next time some idiot comes along to tell me that Obama’s birth certificate is fake, I’m going to ask them if they think that the US State Department was fooled by it or if they’re in on the conspiracy.  After all, you can’t get a passport without your birth certificate.  So are we talking about an amazing forgery so perfect that the US State Department and the state of Hawaii were both fooled by it (since I assume the State Dept. cross-checks birth certificates with the appropriate state) or is there a government-wide conspiracy and both the State Dept. and the state of Hawaii were already in the bag for Obama when he first applied for a passport when he was in college?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Comment #5: Mnemosyne  on  10/30  at  01:25 PM

OBAMA BREATHES AIR?!?

This is the worst thing ever.

Comment #6: Scott  on  10/30  at  01:27 PM

“He very likely will take away dissenters’ right to free speech if elected president, keeping them from publishing their views in the newspaper or from voicing them on television and radio. This is in part due to the “storm troopers around him.”

The talk-radio crowd is very big on this. They’ve all been banging the drum that he’ll bring back the Fairness Doctrine, and explains that means that the government decides what’s allowed to be on the radio and TV, and so he’ll shut them all down.

I dunno, I guess the logic is that the rise of hate radio came after Reagan killed the Fairness Doctrine, so therefore it must have somehow prevented conservative talk radio from existing. Or something. (Actually, I suspect the hosts know exactly what it is, and they’re selfishly sliming it to get their listeners whipped up to oppose anything that would help opposing voices be heard.)

Comment #7: Redshift  on  10/30  at  01:34 PM

And now, according to Atlas Pam, he is possibly Malcolm X’s son.

Really.

Comment #8: stryx  on  10/30  at  01:37 PM

Barack Obama killed Vince Foster!  And I’ve got the tapes to prove it!

Comment #9: Zifnab25  on  10/30  at  01:41 PM

My favorite is that we actually found WMDs.  We probably shipped them out in black helicopters.  God give me strength….

Comment #10: Magis  on  10/30  at  01:43 PM

Well as long as we’re making things up, here are my contributions:

- Obama paid someone else to take his SATs for him and later had that person executed
- Obama is bankrolling the Janjaweed in Darfur in order to keep the violence going
- Obama secretely acquired the remains of both Stalin and Lenin and sleeps with their coffins next to his bed
- Obama bought Michael Jackson’s Neverland ranch and sold it back to him for .50 cents
- Obama knows where Jimmy Hoffa is buried. He should - he put him there personally
- Obama plays Backstreet Boys albums backwards and lets the subliminal messages dictate his foreign policy
- Obama is the number one importer of Guatemalan textiles
- Obama is the grand wizard of the KKK
- Obama taught Eddie Van Halen how to play the guitar

Comment #11: Slackajawea  on  10/30  at  01:48 PM

Obama is really 60 years old, but retains a youthful appearance by molesting children to death at Neverland.

Comment #12: Ms Kate  on  10/30  at  01:50 PM

Malcolm X?  If Stanley Ann was actually in Seattle, I think there might have been a better source of radical black seed.

Yes folks, Obama’s real father is none other than Jimmy Hendrix!

Comment #13: Ms Kate  on  10/30  at  01:54 PM

And now, according to Atlas Pam, he is possibly Malcolm X’s son.

Well, at least she’ll have to shut up about Obama not being an American citizen.

Comment #14: Mnemosyne  on  10/30  at  01:55 PM

OBAMA BREATHES AIR?!?

This is the worst thing ever.

Real human American females like Cindy McCain condemn this reprehensible behavior.

Comment #15: Bagelsan  on  10/30  at  01:56 PM

Pam,

Reason is just Treason without the T.

Comment #16: Misplaced Patriot  on  10/30  at  01:59 PM

The remaining staunch support of John McCain lies in the Base—the hard case bible beaters, the Freeper set, the low, low, low info voter, and those simply scared of change.

What kills me is that this is still roughly 2 out of every 5 people you meet.

Comment #17: Em  on  10/30  at  02:09 PM

I’m surprised “Obama will enslave white people” isn’t on that list.

Comment #18: annejumps  on  10/30  at  02:14 PM

Oh, and let’s not forget that he likes to murder newborns.

Comment #19: annejumps  on  10/30  at  02:14 PM

“And now, according to Atlas Pam, he is possibly Malcolm X’s son.”

I know Pam is nuts, and I know her explanations defy logic, and I know that it is extremely unlikely that Malcolm X is Barack’s father.  But damned if those photos of Barack compared to his dad and then to Malcolm X aren’t striking.  I’m just saying, Barack does look a hell of a lot more like X than his dad.  That’s pretty weird.

Comment #20: ME  on  10/30  at  02:25 PM

I’m surprised “Obama will enslave white people” isn’t on that list.

You haven’t been reading Michelle Malkin, have you?  Apparently if he’s elected Obama will go all Robert Mugabe and start forcibly repossessing the property of white people to give to black people.

I didn’t link to her, because she’s an ass, but the link above from the American Prospect links to her.

Comment #21: Mnemosyne  on  10/30  at  02:29 PM

He does not understand the plight of military families. Unlike John McCain and Sarah Palin, he does not have a son serving in Iraq.

I think this one is my favorite.

Not only doesn’t he have a son serving in Iraq, he doesn’t have a son at all!!!1111!!!!

And his daughters aren’t old enough to serve either.

There is absolutely no possible way he could understand the plight of military families who have their sons and daughters dying for lies manufactured to start a war of choice.


annejumps, he doesn’t just murder babies, he eats them, too!  Otherwise, what’s the point?

Comment #22: Caren-Sun-blocking Creator of Animorphic Pancakes  on  10/30  at  02:32 PM

Why do we even need to pay attention to what these jesus-blowing a$$hats have to say ?

Comment #23: Sidd  on  10/30  at  02:34 PM

Just our daughters, annejumps.

Comment #24: Ron O.  on  10/30  at  02:35 PM

ME - Obama looks like his grandfather.

I don’t know how to make this a link, but you can copy and paste into your browser:

http://www.kansasprairie.net/kansasprairieblog/?p=7009

Comment #25: Daisy  on  10/30  at  02:38 PM

I guess it did it for me, sweet.

Comment #26: Daisy  on  10/30  at  02:38 PM

I read on WND that while growing up in Hawaii, he bought drugs from a communist who peddled them on a “Chicago style hot dog cart.” I’m not making this up.

Comment #27: Jenny Dreadful  on  10/30  at  02:44 PM

He does not understand the plight of military families. Unlike John McCain and Sarah Palin, he does not have a son serving in Iraq.

Biden does though.

Also, Daisy, the resemblance to his grandfather is uncanny.

Comment #28: Fashionably Evil  on  10/30  at  02:44 PM

The quotation marks are “killing me.”

Comment #29: serena kitt  on  10/30  at  02:48 PM

I just read that Malcom x post. Whats wrong with these people? Words do not suffice for this nonsense.

Comment #30: Laureli  on  10/30  at  02:54 PM

Wow that’s a scary resemblance to his grandpa!

Comment #31: Ben D.  on  10/30  at  03:07 PM

Sarah Vowell ably points out that the vast majority of the City on the Hill speech was given over to what we would now strongly identify as communitarian principles.  She then notes that if any Nation has fulfilled the intent and content of that City on the Hill sermon, it is Canada.

Ms. Kate, do you have a link?  I’d love to read that.

Comment #32: ummeli  on  10/30  at  03:09 PM

>He “breathes air and fluff and words.”

I guess that means that unlike the McCains he can’t afford a staff of house cleaners.
How *dare* he run for President!!!!!111!!

This certainly is the trippiest line- I bet there’s a special brand of magic mushrooms that these creeps grow in their mildewed basement/bomb shelters.

The walls are breathing!!

Comment #33: Danica Lefse Queen  on  10/30  at  03:10 PM

I’m sorry to have to report yet another reason for Amanda to be embarrassed for her home state, but: 

Poll finds 23% of Texans think Obama is a Muslim

For comparison, the percentage of people who believe that nationwide is between 5-10%.

Comment #34: Mnemosyne  on  10/30  at  03:15 PM

“I think he’s a Muslim”=An excuse besides “he’s black” to give to pollsters as to why you’re not voting for him.

So thanks for that smear, GOP. You gave racists something to tell the pollsters, and that pretty much eliminates the Bradley Effect!

Comment #35: Ben D.  on  10/30  at  03:21 PM

Right-wing nuts are going to die of fright when the election results show Obama the winner. Hopefully thousands will keel over from heart attacks. They are probably praying for terrible things to happen to guys like me anyway, so I don’t feel bad wishing this on them.

Comment #36: dguy  on  10/30  at  03:38 PM

::facepalms::  See, Mnemosyne, as a Texan, I am not surprised by that, but I find it no less humiliating.  Fucking Texas.

Not that I, you know, left as fast as I could upon graduating high school and only came back under extreme duress.

Comment #37: Atheist Feminazi  on  10/30  at  03:39 PM

Redshift:

the fairness doctrine would pretty much gut right-wing talk radio, which would be a good thing. It basically said that when private entities were granted licenses to use the publicly-owned airwaves, for the convenience of the public, they should make sure that the political commentary they broadcast over those public airwaves included more than one point of view. Oddly enough, the idea that the owner of a resource gets to make the rules about how that resource should be used is anathema to conservatives whenever something is publicly owned.

And why does the National Press Club keep renting its space out to losers like this?

Comment #38: paul  on  10/30  at  03:39 PM

Ummeli, the Sara Vowell quote was from her most recent book “The Wordy Shipmates”.

Comment #39: Ms Kate  on  10/30  at  03:47 PM

I think the worst indictment is that he has no son in the military.  I blame his mother and Michelle for this.  If his mother had had him 8 years earlier and Michelle had selected the sex of their first born, then this arguement would be moot, but nooo.

Comment #40: Mac from Oregon  on  10/30  at  03:53 PM

Speaking of racists, has anyone seen this Esquire article?

http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/racists-support-obama-061308

My jaw was hanging open after reading it. I really can’t figure out this country at all sometimes.

Comment #41: Ben D.  on  10/30  at  03:55 PM

I’m just saying, Barack does look a hell of a lot more like X than his dad.

Keep in mind that Barack Obama like approximately 100% of all humans, has half his mother’s genes, too.  I’m sure there are people out there who’d say, “Why, isn’t it fascinating that The Opoponax looks more like [so and so] than her own mother!”  Well sure.  I take after my dad.

Also, I’m pretty sure that, when shortening Malcolm X’s name, you go with Malcolm and not X.  X was not his actual surname.

Comment #42: The Opoponax  on  10/30  at  03:57 PM

I read on WND that while growing up in Hawaii, he bought drugs from a communist who peddled them on a “Chicago style hot dog cart.” I’m not making this up.

Well, if that doesn’t spell M-O-B, I don’t know what does.

Comment #43: Beezus  on  10/30  at  04:03 PM

We found WMDs in Iraq? Recently? Really? I found a secret cache of cheezburgers in my backyard. Gold ones. If I say it, it must be true. Well, I’ll have to register as a Republican first.

SIGH.

Comment #44: MadInscriber  on  10/30  at  04:04 PM

Mnemosyne: that’s a good response to the “Obama birth certificate” nonsense. But I think one also has to demand that McCain produce his own birth certificate as well. 

And excuses really ARE pitiful:  “what do you mean, cuniform tablets won’t fit in the Xerox? Try harder!”

Comment #45: Snarki, child of Loki  on  10/30  at  04:11 PM

Obama will be the worst liberal Socialist Muslim atheist with an anti-American Christian preacher palling-around-with-terrorists elitist community organizer we’ve ever had as President.

Comment #46: Frederick  on  10/30  at  04:11 PM

Obama looks almost exactly like his maternal grandfather.  (Daisy has the link at 1:38.)  Considering that Malcolm X’s maternal grandfather was white, I’m not surprised that idiots like Pammy Atlas would see a vague resemblance between two mixed-race men and jump to a stupid conclusion.  It’s what they do.

Comment #47: Mnemosyne  on  10/30  at  04:14 PM

Obama will be the worst liberal Socialist Muslim atheist with an anti-American Christian preacher palling-around-with-terrorists elitist community organizer we’ve ever had as President.

Or the best.

Comment #48: Slackajawea  on  10/30  at  04:34 PM

I still don’t like Obama, but I talked my whole family into voting for him anyway.  But the scare tactics on Wright and his background are having an effect on some Jewish voters.

Comment #49: mitchforth  on  10/30  at  04:56 PM

I still don’t like Obama, but I talked my whole family into voting for him anyway.  But the scare tactics on Wright and his background are having an effect on some Jewish voters.

Oh, I think the concerns about Wright will be more than washed awayby what Jewish voters like Pandagon commenter CHILDREN OF ISRAEL) are observing:

As a Jew, I was terrified by a comment made by Sarah Palin at a rally in which “Joe the Plumber” was a featured guest.

“With his shaved head, jeans, and steel toed boots, he’s OUR kind of guy right?” said Palin to a resounding cheer from the overwhelmingly WASP crowd. (At which point I cringed for her husband, Todd who is nothing like Joe the Plumber).

In what country are shaved heads, certain brands of jeans and especially steel toed boots not associated with radical Neo-Nazi skinheads? And how do you suppose those Neo-Nazi skinheads feel about Jews, African-Americans, Catholics, and anyone else who does not fit the narrow description of a “real” American according to the right wing conservatives?

Wake up Children of Israel!

McCain/Palin is a vote for those who despise us. Remember this: they protect Israel for Christianity, NOT Judaism.

Comment #50: Gracchus  on  10/30  at  05:07 PM

Gracchus - not to mention Palin’s pastor (quoted some months ago at Feministe as saying that the bulldozer attacks in Israel were punishment for Jews not being Christian).

Comment #51: Rebecca  on  10/30  at  05:38 PM

The McCarthyite like rhetoric coming from the right wing lately is scaring Jewish voters more.

Comment #52: Ben D.  on  10/30  at  05:44 PM

His vice presidential pick is like “training wheels on a tricycle.”

And McCain’s pick isn’t like pedal-catching ribbons on a unicycle?

I also like the bit about how he couldn’t pass the tests to be in the FBI. He’s not applying to be in the FBI, stupid.

Comment #53: Rebecca  on  10/30  at  05:56 PM

This is the same crowd that burned Dixie Chicks records and got Bill Maher fired from ABC, right?

Comment #54: Matt  on  10/30  at  06:22 PM

... and when none of this comes to pass under the reign of Obama the Cautious, the whackjobs will know that it has not come to pass due to their prayers and their watchfullness.  McCain wins and they will attribute it to their fearmongering,  Obama wins and it doesn’t happen and it is due to their supernatural abilities.  It’s a win-win.

Comment #55: natural cynic  on  10/30  at  06:37 PM

read on WND that while growing up in Hawaii, he bought drugs from a communist who peddled them on a “Chicago style hot dog cart.” I’m not making this up.

You might not be making that up, but someone is.

Chicago, home of the Chicago-style hot dog, a place where you never ever EVER put catsup or ketchup on a hot dog, Chicago with almost as many hot dog joints as pizza places, that Chicago?  HAS NO HOT DOG CARTS.

That’s New York.  You buy ice cream from Mexican vendors out of carts here.  Sometimes churros.  Never hot dogs.

Hot dogs come from a hot dog joint.

Seriously, my friends, somethings are not joking matters.

Comment #56: Caren-Sun-blocking Creator of Animorphic Pancakes  on  10/30  at  06:37 PM

Your precious Obama’s list of proposed cabinet appointments has been leaked to conservative websites and it looks as though it will cost him the election:

Secretary of State: Bernadine Dohrn (Weather Underground)
Secretary of the Treasury: Alberto Franceschini (Red Brigade)
Secretary of Defense: William Ayers (Weather Underground)
Attorney General: Fusako Shigenobu (Japanese Red Army)
Secretary of the Interior: Carlos the Jackal (PFLP)
Secretary of Agriculture: Bertrand Sassoye (Communist Combatant Cells)
Secretary of Commerce: Cristoforo Piancone (Red Brigade)
Secretary of Labor: Mick Jones (The Clash)
Secretary of Health and Human Services: Félix Guattari (French Philosopher)
Secretary of Housing and Urban Affairs: Suge Knight (Death Row Records)
Secretary of Transportation: Abimael Guzmán (Shining Path)
Secretary of Energy Todd Palin (AIP)
Secretary of Education: Oprah (Televison Personality)

Comment #57: Rugged in Montana  on  10/30  at  06:44 PM

not to mention Palin’s pastor (quoted some months ago at Feministe as saying that the bulldozer attacks in Israel were punishment for Jews not being Christian).

You know, when people aren’t afraid to point out bigotry in calm and reasonable and well-supported terms, all that coded dog-whistle BS starts backfiring big-time. The MSM is still too afraid to do it in this campaign, but word of mouth and grassroots individual efforts can be even more powerful than top-down efforts.

Comment #58: Gracchus  on  10/30  at  06:44 PM

I read “Rugged in Montana”‘s bullshit and I suddenly hear Dueling Banjos from Deliverance.  It’s kind of like Frau Blücher and the whinnying horses.  I wonder why?...

Comment #59: MikeEss  on  10/30  at  06:50 PM

Oh, come on, Rugged, what about SCOTUS appointments? You also forgot Veterans’ Affairs and, duh, Homeland Security.

Comment #60: Rebecca  on  10/30  at  06:52 PM

Oh, and Rugged?  You might want to get a fresh copy of The Turner Diaries to take with you into your bunker.  God knows the current copy is getting hard to read with all of the stains on the pages — especially the “good” parts…

Comment #61: MikeEss  on  10/30  at  06:53 PM

I own two books, The Bible and The Turner Diaries.  You DEMONcraps will see the point of these when Obama fills the government with terrorists that will control your lives.

Comment #62: Rugged in Montana  on  10/30  at  07:05 PM

Please America, No Sequel!

Check out this article by the writer/director of the film Blue State:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marshall-lewy/blue-state-no-sequel-plea_b_127239.html

Comment #63: Blue State  on  10/30  at  07:07 PM

If you’re for real, Rugged (which is pretty hard to believe —you’re just too cliche), how does it feel knowing your George W. Bush was the guy who had your phones, email, internet-access bugged (along with everyone else’s)?

You’ve got a dossier out there somewhere, crammed full of stuff that nice Christian Republicans working for the NSA and the FBI have gathered and lovingly filed away to use on you later.  And it was YOUR

Comment #64: MikeEss  on  10/30  at  07:10 PM

Goddam NSA cut me off!...

Comment #65: MikeEss  on  10/30  at  07:12 PM

This is from WND:

The late Marxist activist Frank Marshall Davis, frequently accompanied by young Barack Obama and his grandfather Stanley Armour Dunham, sold marijuana and cocaine from a “Chicago style” hot dog cart Davis operated near his home on Kuhio Avenue in Waikiki in the early 1970s, WND has established.

Comment #66: Jenny Dreadful  on  10/30  at  07:12 PM

You seem to forget that the Bush administration is a Conservative government and Godly, so I don’t have any problem with them looking for terrorists.  As you can see from the proposed Obama cabinet, they are all the most ruthless serial murderers and from the LEFT, which would be a completely different story.  Add to that the fact that Obama is going to be sworn in on a Quaran, and we’re looking at the downfall of civilization.  I’m prepared for that, I have my two books and pallets of Civil Defense Saltines, so let the chips fall where they may.

Comment #67: Rugged in Montana  on  10/30  at  07:26 PM

Parody FAIL…

Comment #68: MikeEss  on  10/30  at  07:28 PM

Parody fail? He cited Mick Jones from the Clash as Secretary of Labor.

How did you people not catch the joke?

Comment #69: Well, what?  on  10/30  at  07:34 PM

Parody FAIL…

I dunno.  It wasn’t until the line of the about the Civil Defense saltines that I was sure it was a parody.  There’s almost nothing so outrageous that a wingnut hasn’t actually said it.

Comment #70: Seraph  on  10/30  at  07:36 PM

The Clash is a Left-wing terrorist group responsible for numerous bombings, assassinations and kidnappings, as I understand it.  How is that a joke, Mr. LIEbral?

Comment #71: Rugged in Montana  on  10/30  at  07:38 PM

The Saltines tipped me off too.  A REAL survivalist whackjob would have mentioned beef jerky and beer…

Comment #72: MikeEss  on  10/30  at  07:38 PM

Parody fail? He cited Mick Jones from the Clash as Secretary of Labor.

How did you people not catch the joke?

I don’t know about anyone else, but for me it was a combination of “Wingnuts have said weirder shit and mean it” (see the actual post) and “defensive reading”.  Once the right-wing ranting starts, I generally don’t read all that closely to avoid brain damage.

Comment #73: Seraph  on  10/30  at  07:40 PM

Suge Knight I mean, come on guys.

Come on.

Comment #74: dan  on  10/30  at  07:41 PM

dan, there are people who believe Barack Obama was born in Kenya AND Indonesia but not America.

People who believe Obama is a Muslim AND a radical “Black Liberation” Christian AND an ultra-left Marxist.

Etc.

Parody doesn’t have much of a chance against that kind of crap…

Comment #75: MikeEss  on  10/30  at  07:44 PM

I just want to thank Dr T and Dana for helping make all of this possible! Were it not for your help, the Republican party would not have metastasized into the group of lunatics it’s become today!

Look, guys, back in 2000, all the Dems knew and said, loudly, that Bush was a not-really-recovered alcoholic dumb guy who was going to blow up the deficit, hand out tax cuts to the rich, and was a warmongering fool on Iraq. History proved us right. We didn’t think that he was a drug dealing anti-Christ who was going to hand the country over to the neo-Nazis and Slobodan Milosevic. Meanwhile, the Republicans have slipped into paroxysms of delusion about Obama. What the hell is wrong with you people?

Comment #76: Tyro  on  10/30  at  07:49 PM

Meanwhile, the Republicans have slipped into paroxysms of delusion about Obama.

Who’s the delusional one?  You have Obama’s cabinet right in front of you and you’re all “no problemo” about that.  I don’t know who half of those people are (as you can imagine, I don’t follow the news about your Leftist heros) but that is the list, verbatum, as it was leaked to leading, influencial websites of the Right.

Deal with it, communists.

Comment #77: Rugged in Montana  on  10/30  at  07:55 PM

What? Mumia Abu-Jamal doesn’t rate a cabinet post? I’m sure he didn’t take the fall for those murders without Obama offering something in return.

And Sec. of Education is up in the air right now, Noam Chomsky was the first choice but Debra Lafave has made a compelling case (wink, wink).

Also does anyone know what Obama’s gang affiliation is? He seems to wear both red and blue ties pretty much interchangeably but since he’s from Chicago maybe I should be thinking Folks and People. I’m not really current on gang signifiers but surely someone could dig up this vital information.

The problem with this line of thinking is that you can’t actually come up with anything more ridiculous than the what these morons are offering.

Comment #78: vaux-rien  on  10/30  at  08:02 PM

Rugged is just an exaggeration of what a lot of people apparently do fear from Obama—that he will appoint all Blacks and radicals to Cabinet positions.  The list varies, but Sharpton, Jesse Jackson (will he be in charge of nuts?) and of course Ayers seem to be standard fixtures in this list of “black leaders” Obama will elevate to power.

Comment #79: oldfeminist  on  10/30  at  08:08 PM

What? Mumia Abu-Jamal doesn’t rate a cabinet post?

Shoot. I wish I had thought of saying that!

Comment #80: Tyro  on  10/30  at  08:34 PM

Oh, FFS—McCain is bringing up Rezko AGAIN.

Because that line of attack was so successful the other 128,651 times he’s tried it.

Comment #81: Mnemosyne  on  10/30  at  08:39 PM

Rugged put TODD PALIN on Obama’s cabinet.

That is too epic for words.

Comment #82: Erl  on  10/30  at  08:46 PM

Mumia Abu-Jamal doesn’t rate a cabinet post?

Aside from being black, why would a former Cosby cast member rate a cabinet position?

Comment #83: Rugged in Montana  on  10/30  at  08:49 PM

Rugged put TODD PALIN on Obama’s cabinet.

And there’s only ONE Todd Palin in this world?  As you can see, the one on Obama’s Cabinet list ia a member of some Leftist terrorist group called AIP.  Think before you write, pinko.

Comment #84: Rugged in Montana  on  10/30  at  08:53 PM

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Félix Guattari (French Philosopher)

Selegolene Royale in 2012!

Seriously, we should get some awesome leftist European president who would fill all the cabinet posts with important members of the international intelligentsia that would scare the bejesus out of the Right, not least because the no-nothings would have not a fucking clue what was going on or what anyone was talking about.

Comment #85: The Opoponax  on  10/30  at  09:13 PM

A REAL survivalist whackjob would have mentioned beef jerky and beer…

No, a real survivalist whackjob would have mentioned MRE’s.

Comment #86: The Opoponax  on  10/30  at  09:18 PM

...and beer…  smile

Comment #87: MikeEss  on  10/30  at  09:19 PM

No, a real survivalist whackjob would have mentioned MRE’s.

I make my own pemmican, so I have no need for MRE’s.  As to mocking my Saltine cache, you might want to think again.  Being made of white flour, salt and baking soda, they are considered a “perfect food” for survival.  If left undisturbed in the original ‘60’s era packaging, they have a viability of well over a century.  When you elect your al Queda president and allow him to fill the government with terrorists, you’ll wish you had a cracker stocked away somewhere.

Comment #88: Rugged in Montana  on  10/30  at  09:31 PM

How do we know that you aren’t actually RUG head in Montana, eh.

Everybody please welcome our latest Pandagonian ... Theodore the Montana Hermit!  I’m sure he will be happy to share both Pemmican recipes and his considerable mailbomb skills with all of us.

Comment #89: Ms Kate  on  10/30  at  09:45 PM

Heh, cracker.

Comment #90: Rebecca  on  10/30  at  09:46 PM

I think we are forgetting some key appointments, here:

Johnny Lydon - Department of Public Image
Jello Biafra - Department of Reeducation
James McGreevey - (oops, he’s Out of the Cabinet now)

Comment #91: Ms Kate  on  10/30  at  09:55 PM

I’m sure he will be happy to share both Pemmican recipes and his considerable mailbomb skills with all of us.

Maybe your Communist collective will feed you while I’m feasting on my pemmican?  I have no need of or use for mailbombs as I refuse to use the Postal System (it is controlled by 35th Degree Masons who also put fluoride in our water). Most conservative thinkers regard mailbombs as being a right given to every American citizen by the 2nd amendment.  Of course, that right will probably be taken away by the jack-booted thugs of an Obama administration.  At any rate, so much for the “openess of mind” regarding diverse thinking, on the part of LIEbrals.

Comment #92: Rugged in Montana  on  10/30  at  10:13 PM

“Johnny Lydon - Department of Public Image “

...that’s too Limited for a guy like him, don’t you think?...

Comment #93: MikeEss  on  10/30  at  10:15 PM

Seriously, we should get some awesome leftist European president who would fill all the cabinet posts with important members of the international intelligentsia that would scare the bejesus out of the Right, not least because the no-nothings would have not a fucking clue what was going on or what anyone was talking about.

Oooh! Pick me! Pick me!

Comment #94: Dolbia  on  10/30  at  10:36 PM

OMFG—Rugged in Montana is not a parody troll. 

Or, rather, s/he is riffing off an actual post by this idiot at GOP-USA.

No wonder the parody was so hard to spot.  Again, well done, sir (or madam).

Comment #95: Mnemosyne  on  10/30  at  11:04 PM

The People’s Republic of Vermont!  Hee!  And then he actually wrote, without a hint of irony, that the Pentagon is our “ministry of peace”.  Hee!

I know this is not really comedy, but if I don’t laugh I might scream.

Comment #96: The Opoponax  on  10/30  at  11:10 PM

I’m hoping that Obama makes Bill Clinton the Ambassador to Eritea, or possible Cape Verde. Maybe better would be the Seychelles, or Kiribati.

Comment #97: Descartes  on  10/30  at  11:16 PM

remaining staunch support of John McCain lies in the Base

what is the Arabic for “the Base”?
Yeah, I thought so…same mentality, same name.

Comment #98: greensmile  on  10/30  at  11:24 PM

the “maniac from Iran.”

So they can’t pronounce his name either?

Joe thought he could make $250,000 despite being a plumber.

Despite being a plumber?  Clearly the people promoting this have never been billed by one…

Comment #99: damnedyankee  on  10/31  at  01:02 AM

Rugged in Montana: Secretary of Health and Human Services: Félix Guattari (French Philosopher)

Guattari in the cabinet, but no zombie Gilles Deleuze?  That’s how you know this list is fake.

Comment #100: olivetti  on  10/31  at  05:43 PM
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