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Your Summary Of The Eric Massa Interview On The Glenn Beck Variety Hour

5:00 - 5:05: Beck introduces the show and makes it clear that this is probably going to go terribly.  You are allowed to watch something else, anything else, if this goes poorly.  This is not a good sign.

5:05 - 5:25: Massa retracts virtually everything he said before about this entire debacle, mentions tickle fights a lot and shows pictures of a Naval induction ceremony from 1983 and says it looks like an orgy.

5:25 - 5:30: Beck tries to get Massa to prepare for the last half of the show, where Massa’s supposed to give examples of corruption.

5:30 - 5:40: Massa reads a letter from someone who says they won’t donate because they didn’t like a vote of his, and then says that arm twisting goes on all the time because people try to persuade you to vote a certain way.  Beck gets visibly pissier as time goes on. 

5:40 - 5:55: Beck just gives up and goes to commercial break every three minutes.

5:55 - 6:00: Beck apologizes for wasting everyone’s time and goes off to fire whoever booked this terrible, terrible mess of a guest.

 

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Posted by Jesse Taylor on 10:21 PM • (30) Comments

guess there are only so many references to a tickle-fight that a het like glenn beck caN take.

(Oh, and that excuse, “I was just tickling” in the workplace was bullshit back 30 years ago, before sexual harassment lawts even, when I got fed up with an fbi agent who used it to feel me up at the national park service. the story gets wackier than that, but suffice it to say, that I marched into my boss’s office said “I didn’t take this job to get felt up by the fbi” and the boss tore mr. tickle fight a new one.)

Comment #1: judybrowni  on  03/09  at  11:56 PM

Ha. They put “Glenn Beck” and “variety” in the same sentence.

Comment #2: Dan, Grand High Emperor of Bananas Foster  on  03/10  at  12:06 AM

why would you put yourself through an hour of Glenn Beck?

Comment #3: pharmakos  on  03/10  at  12:39 AM

straight up or satire?  the world may never know.

Comment #4: jamie d  on  03/10  at  01:10 AM

Amazing… a guest that actually made me feel sorry for Glenn Beck. I didn’t think it was possible.

Not that I could sit through the whole thing, of course.

Comment #5: TCB  on  03/10  at  01:17 AM

It baffles me that Massa thinks he’s fooling anybody.

Comment #6: NBarnes  on  03/10  at  02:24 AM

Eric Massa’s Vault! a One-Hour Special Presentation featuring Glenn Beck!

Geraldo, somewhere at the Fox News HQ, must be laughing his ass off.

Comment #7: 3letterjon  on  03/10  at  02:42 AM

i think glenn was just pissed because massa is clearly even a bigger whacko than he is. it made him feel inadequate, by comparison.

Comment #8: cpinva  on  03/10  at  06:22 AM

Okay.  Now that that’s settled, can we please get back to the massive corporate giveaways?

Comment #9: Sam Holloway  on  03/10  at  08:06 AM

I would imagine that if MASSA was a republican we could have countless discussions about how he is a hypocrite and a sexual harasser. But being that he is a Democrat and Gay, I guess he gets a pass on Pandagon.

Comment #10: Casp  on  03/10  at  08:45 AM

Yes, if he were in the closet and voted 100% against gay rights, he probably would get more criticism on the liberal blogs.  But since he has supported the repeal of DADT and hasn’t made his career out of complaining that Teh Gay was destroying America and marriage and family values and killing puppies and kittens, the hypocrisy label doesn’t quite seem to fit.

Comment #11: acallidryas  on  03/10  at  09:19 AM

Casp,

Instead, Massa is a Democrat who has decided to end his career with loads of very sad lashing out at various people who it is becoming more and more apparent shouldn’t be part of his attacks.  If he had a voting record to make him a hypocrite, show it.  Until then, he’s a sad case of a guy who seems like he has some repressed homosexuality issues to deal with and has decided to put them at center stage in all this.  And even sadder, Fox News decided to make it a huge show but ended up with a meltdown that’s usually reserved for Beck.

Some truths about the sexual harassment stuff will come out eventually, but Massa’s hardly getting a pass for being either gay or a Democrat.  The closest he’s getting to a pass is just the awed moment people will go through when witnessing a train wreck that involves a campaign bus, a navy ship, lots of salty sailors, a shower scene or three, a nightmarish wedding, and Rahm’s sultry eyes or something like that.  Tom of Finland himself couldn’t have put all that into one image, but he would have liked to try.

Comment #12: 3letterjon  on  03/10  at  09:22 AM

I don’t know why we continue to read and comment on Pandagon when we insist on doing so in ways that make Casp and his friends upset.

This is almost as bad as some Democrats in Congress thinking that it might be okay to pass legislation simply because they have a majority in both Houses, which, as we all know, is the very definition of partisanship, and makes both David Broder and Jesus cry.

I’m sure if we thought about it, we would determine that it’s best to turn Pandagon in to another wingnut propaganda outlet.  It’s what Jesus would want us to do…

Comment #13: MikeEss  on  03/10  at  10:31 AM

Massa sounds more sad to me than laughable.

Comment #14: atheist  on  03/10  at  10:41 AM

“i think glenn was just pissed because massa is clearly even a bigger whacko than he is. it made him feel inadequate, by comparison.”

One can see Beck fuming over this little episode, while thinking, “God damn you, nobody out-crazies Glen Beck!!!”

Comment #15: John D.  on  03/10  at  11:02 AM

So…..the Navy is one big, gay orgy? Is that what he’s saying?

Comment #16: Ben D.  on  03/10  at  12:14 PM

Ben D, what are you, like the last person to hear about it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InBXu-iY7cw
— Dr. Psycho, USN, 1981

Comment #17: Dr. Psycho  on  03/10  at  12:58 PM

So…..the Navy is one big, gay orgy? Is that what he’s saying?

Damnit! I KNEW I should have joined the Navy!

Comment #18: Tonybrown74  on  03/10  at  01:05 PM

No, the navy’s not just one big gay orgy—there’s also the rum, and the lash . . .

Comment #19: rea  on  03/10  at  01:32 PM

Um, so when Beck tweeted the day before that he had just talked with Massa off-air and that he was giving him the whole show because it was gonna be TEH AWESOME, which part was he lying about?

Comment #20: RickMassimo  on  03/10  at  01:50 PM

Ok, so, one big drunken gay S&M;orgy?

Comment #21: NBarnes  on  03/10  at  01:52 PM

Casp; actually, one of the major effects of the entire Massa kerfluffle is to make me wonder how many barely-functional people there really are in the congressional branch of the most militarily and economically powerful country in the world.

I mean, seriously, Massa is manifestly more than a little bit loony, but this is the first we’ve heard about it?  How many other authentically cracked people are there in Congress?

Comment #22: NBarnes  on  03/10  at  01:54 PM

The whole thing was surreal. Here Beck thought he was going to be able to work Massa over as a “useful idiot” to bash Obama and the Democrats, but Massa was so whacked-out and obtuse that Beck couldn’t pierce through the crazy.  We [the Lefties] usually rail against Dems for going on FOX, urging them to fight back harder and not plain roll over (advice that is rarely followed), but Massa was like jello or sand or a greased pig (I’m struggling with the proper metaphor).  Beck just could not get a handle on him to roll him over.  It was like Massa was doing the rope-a-dope (with Beck being the dope, so that was nice).  I loved it toward the end when a totally exasperated Beck talked about having “blood shooting out [his] eyes.” One thing is for certain: Eric Massa is muy loco.

Comment #23: Hornet  on  03/10  at  01:56 PM

Massa was so bizarre that a small part of me wonders if he did it on purpose to make Glenn Beck squirm. Because it worked.

Comment #24: pajmahal  on  03/10  at  02:51 PM

Just goes to show:  Crazy can’t ride herd on crazy.

And let me see if I’ve got this straight:  Massa’s example of corruption was the fact that he gets letters from constituents?  Did I read that right?

Comment #25: damnedyankee  on  03/10  at  02:54 PM

I never thought I’d say this about another human being, but I hope Massa’s cancer is a brain tumor.  It’s the only way I can see that he retains some dignity through this.

Comment #26: AC  on  03/10  at  03:45 PM

nbarnes@23: ...and it has ever been thus.

Comment #27: jamie d  on  03/10  at  04:10 PM

I watched the clips on Countdown and The Rachel Maddow Show.  Wow.  I almost (ALMOST) felt pity for Beck.  Seriously…

Comment #28: GeekGirlsRule  on  03/10  at  05:01 PM

Just goes to show:  Crazy can’t ride herd on crazy.

damnedyankee wins the thread.

Comment #29: No One of Consequence  on  03/10  at  05:17 PM

Thanks for summarizing this.  Watching the crazy people so I don’t have to.

Comment #30: Neil the Ethical Werewolf  on  03/11  at  09:32 AM
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