This is a genre of essay that I’m getting increasingly impatient with—-call it “Love me, I’m a Luddite”. Sarah Hepola’s essay about why she’s frustrated with text messaging, and especially the self-congratulatory ending where she (gasp!) writes a letter on a legal pad (whatever happened to stationary?) is cute and well-written but pointless. Let’s face it; the main reason people are threatened by text messaging is because it’s new and different and reminds you of how old you are and therefore how far you are along on your march towards the grave. Because taken on its own, text messaging is a brilliant innovation that’s improving the quality of life for those who’ve embraced it.
Text messaging has addressed all the complaints that people had about the cell phone. Remember when Luddites complained non-stop about cell phones? They were intrusive and noisy, remember? It was a bad thing to be on call all the time, to have to deal immediately with anyone who interrupted your silence with the little jingle of “Play That Funky Music” or whatever you chose for your ring tone. Texting has addressed every complaint. It’s quiet. The recipient is expected to handle the messages at their leisure. You don’t have to annoy people sharing your space on public transportation. You don’t have to step outside of the noisy bar you’re in to be able to understand the message. You can dispense with the time-consuming small talk. Objectively, the text message has been a great breakthrough.