October 11 is National Coming Out Day.
We may be winning the culture war one day at a time (see the marriage equality ruling in Connecticut on Friday), but not everyone has the option of coming out of the closet in this country --
* Without ENDA, LGBT citizens can be fired from a job where there are no local anti-discrimination protections.
* We most certainly see members of the community get the crap beaten out of them—or worse—in many parts of the country, even Blue states.
* and it goes without saying if you have anti-gay parents and you're not yet 18 (or are dependent on them for support), coming out is probably a really bad idea unless you are prepared for the consequences of them taking the news badly.
That said, coming out is the most powerful thing one can do, but it cannot be done in isolation; straight allies have to be willing to publicly defend their gay friends and acquaintances.
* Support Equality organizations in your state, particularly if it is at risk for an amendment challenge as we see this time around in CA, AZ and FL. Give your time and money, if you can spare. In North Carolina, the organization at the grassroots level is Equality NC.
* Get involved. It's easy to write a check or complain from the sidelines and the comfort of our keyboards about the effectiveness of those working locally and nationally on our behalf; it's another to come out, live out and work to make a difference—whether it's writing your representatives, grassroots activism, or making an effort to engage with your friends, neighbors and colleagues about equality issues.
* If you are straight and an ally, COME OUT. Support your gay friends and loved ones when you hear intolerant conversation, politely engage ignorance with information.
Each Coming Out Day I ask this Q of the Day:
Are you out to...
-- your friends?
-- your immediate family?
-- your extended family?
-- any/some/most of your colleagues at work?
-- your boss?
-- your doctors?
-- your neighbors?
I'm happy to say that I can check off all of those today, but it took years of constantly coming out, choosing when “the right time” would be to come out to any of the above groups. It's a seemingly endless process, never easy, almost always awkward (since I'm an introvert to begin with). It's not like something that comes up in casual conversation, nor do you really want it to. But eventually kicking the door open beats life in the closet.
For my straight readers:
-- are you “out” as an ally?
-- are you able to talk about gay friends or relatives with others?
-- are you comfortable shooting down homophobes when they spout off during a conversation?
PFLAG’s Straight for Equality produces a wonderful and entertaining education resource, “Guide To Being a Straight Ally” and it can be downloaded here. Take The Straight for Equality Pledge to support and be an advocate for LGBT civil equality.
More below the fold, including videos.