John McCain takes Ambien, which can, in incredibly rare cases, result in sleep-doing-things.

ABC News wrote a three-page article detailing how, as long as McCain doesn’t overdose, down his Ambien during a drinking binge or otherwise act like a fucking idiot, it shouldn’t result in him waking up with the front fender of his Lexus through the front window of his local Au Bon Pain.  Seriously, just take the week off, reporters.  We obviously don’t need you for anything important if you’re now filing “things that have an infinitesimal chance of happening” dispatches.