I’m sure we’re all familiar with the logical fallacy reductio ad absurdum, wherein a position from which an absurd outcome can be derived is rendered invalid because it led to an absurd conclusion. Hollywood conservatives have now invented reductio ad concussio, wherein any commentary on conservatives in Hollywood which sounds like a criticism of actual oppressed minorities therefore makes Hollywood an oppressor of conservatives. Case in point is Andrew Klavan’s piece in the Washington Post today, wherein the multiple-time screenwriter complains about how the industry that’s gainfully employed him for over two decades oppresses people like him. It’s like slavery, except that you set your hours, can quit any time you so desire, and is in no way oppressive or restrictive in any way, shape or form that would so impact a burgeoning member of the film and television industry.
Basically, Bruce Willis is like a white male, multimillionaire Harriet Tubman. And the Underground Railroad is a Learjet.
There are five myths of Hollywood Klavan lays out with precision and care.
1.) Hollywood has no political agenda—it’s just out to make money.
All through 2007, Hollywood sent American multiplexes the message: “We don’t like the war on terror.” All year, American moviegoers sent a message back to Hollywood: “We don’t care.” “Lions for Lambs,” “In the Valley of Elah,” “Redacted,” “Rendition”—movie after movie in which our film-land elites derided U.S. efforts to smack down Islamist terrorism bombed at the box office. Even the guys who ran Fannie Mae would have figured out that this was a losing economic strategy. But not Hollywood; 2008 gave us even more anti-war flops, such as “Stop-Loss” and “War, Inc.” As ace film blogger John Nolte pointed out, only one war-on-terror film, the mediocre “Vantage Point,” did good business. Why? Because it showed Americans as the good guys they are. If Hollywood were all about making money, it would do that a lot more often.
As persuasive as that litany of offseason flops still isn’t, there’s a critical thing to realize about Vantage Point (trailer here): “random anti-American terrorists target the President” is a fairly repeated and common thriller premise. Off the top of my head Executive Decision and Air Force One come to mind, and I’m sure there are a half dozen others. If we’re to reason out what people hate by the types of movies that flop, then we can also reasonably intuit that they hate, among other things, science fiction, wacky comedies, fast cars, nudity, Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers. Message: stop making films, Hollywood. Just stop.