Please, please, put any drinks down on the table, stop munching on breakfast and keep the keyboard safe as you peruse the program of the Republican National Convention.

The press release just hit my inbox and it's a laugh-fest.

For Immediate Release Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Contact: Joanna Burgos (651) 467-2728

UPDATED: "Country First": 2008 Republican National
Convention Announces Full Program 

Convention Announces Additional Speakers and Program Details

SAINT PAUL, Minn. - The 2008 Republican National Convention today announced the names of additional speakers for the program of events that will run Sept. 1-4.  The convention’s overall theme, "Country First," reflects John McCain’s remarkable record of leadership and service to America.  Each day of proceedings will center on a touchstone theme that has defined John McCain’s life and will be central to his vision for leading our nation forward as president.

"The 2008 Convention program will bring together Americans who will speak to John McCain's vision for reforming our government, building prosperity and ensuring peace for future generations.  We are excited about next week and we are looking forward to showcasing John McCain’s life-long record of putting his country first," said Jill Hazelbaker, McCain 2008 communications director.

Among the new speakers announced today are Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell (Ky.), House Republican Leader John Boehner (Ohio), U.S. Sen. Lindsey Graham (S.C.), U.S. Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison (Texas), former U.S. Sen. Bill Frist (Tenn.) and Chairman of the Texas Railroad Commission Michael Williams.  Their remarks will echo the themes that have been selected for each of the convention’s four days: service, reform, prosperity and peace.

"We are thrilled to announce our full program of speakers and program participants.  We look forward to presenting a convention program that will share Senator McCain’s unparalleled record of experience and service with millions of Americans," said Maria Cino, president and CEO of the 2008 Republican National Convention.

The program of events follows.  Additions to the program appear with an asterisk (*).

Monday, Sept. 1
Service
"Love of country, my friends, is another way of saying love of your fellow countryman."
-->

John McCain’s commitment to his fellow Americans, a commitment forged in service to his country, is one of the defining hallmarks of his life. Monday’s events will highlight John McCain’s record of service and sacrifice and reflect his commitment to serving a cause greater than one’s own self-interest.

The fun continues below the fold as you see who's going to show up to pass by the Larry Craig Memorial Toilet Stall.

Read All...