Sady Doyle at Broadsheet whips out the “ignore bullies and they’ll go away” argument when it comes to Tucker Max, an iconic douchebag, a saint to misogynists everywhere. Alas, hating women is considered such delightful entertainment that Max is out promoting the movie version of his memoirs “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell,” a movie that’s so misogynist that even in the trailer you have Max declaring that killing fat girls for sport is acceptable because they’re not people. As a joke, it’s a miserable failure. (Look up the trailer if you want to see what I mean. I’m choosing a video that I think embodies the response that Max deserves.) It has no rhythm, wit, or even that twist of surprise that generates a laugh. It’s “funny” in the same way that racists believe using racial slurs is “funny"---the laughter is the release of wretched human beings trying to distract themselves from their own awfulness by pretending others are inferior. Max has sworn to sue anyone who calls him a rapist, but he has bragged about filming a woman having sex with him without her consent, which is a form of sexual assault in some states, and I suspect if the victim would like to press charges or sue, she’d have a case.
The point is, some college campuses are allowing this anti-woman film to be shown, and feminist groups are protesting. Doyle is protesting their protests on the grounds that it violates the ignore-the-bullies strategy.
But the protests may benefit him more than anything else.
Max is a showman. Being hated is a part of his act. He’s a self-described asshole who succeeds by getting people to agree with him. His fans think he’s saying what they can’t; his critics think he’s saying what no one should. But if you’re offended, you’ve noticed him. And for his fans, knowing that he’s picketed by feminists—feminists! Dreaded nemeses of parties and good time!— isn’t cause for concern, but a ringing endorsement.
Giving Max his very own protest makes him seem far important than he actually is. It gives him the enemies he needs.
Unfortunately, I have to point out that the strategy of looking the other way when men mistreat women has been the preferred one throughout most of human history, and it really didn’t do much to reduce the incidence of rape. In fact, it wasn’t until feminists started to speak out against rape and the rape culture that rape incidence began to plummet. In fact, dropping the “ignore the bullies” strategy has caused the rape rate to go down 85% since the 1970s. If continuing to speak out puts the fear of prison into Max and his fans so that they think twice before acting out their hatred of women in a violent manner, then I’m willing to accept his self-aggrandizing as a trade-off.
Because there’s more people at stake here than Max and his misogynist fan base. As anyone arguing with misogynists needs to understand, you don’t argue with broken woman-haters in order to change their minds. Believe me; I’ve spent a lot of time arguing with anti-choice nuts online, and I know that they’re brick walls. Something is broken inside of them, and they have to take it out on women who have sex, and you’re not going to change their bone-deep hatred of sexual women by arguing with them. Nor are you going to change Tucker Max’s belief that women who have sex deserve to be dumped on. He’s got the same disease, even if it manifests differently. But you should still protest misogyny and push back, because the people who promote it aren’t the only people involved. You have an audience, and you should aim your message at them.