So, what chance Chelsea this year? Just more Masochism, right? Do we just want to be disappointed? You can pretty much replace the name Chelsea in the title for any but a few clubs in the EPL, because investing heart and soul, as we true fans stupidly do, is a hiding to nothing. Let’s be honest, unless you supported Liverpool in the 70s and 80s or Man Utd in the 90s and now, whoever you supported was at best going to win a minor cup (e.g., the League Cup, Milk Cup, Carling Cup, whatever they call it) and at best was going to snag the FA Cup or get into Europe. The idea of winning the EPL (or the First Division as I still try to call it) wasn’t on the cards. Sure, if you supported Arsenal you might get a good couple of years, and even Blackburn have been known to win it, so it wasn’t unheard of. And truly that is the problem. Winning the EPL isn’t impossible, it just isn’t bloody likely! In fact most teams that are there have had glory days and won the thing. But the likelihood of winning it any particular year when your hopes are up and you’re invested heavily just isn’t going to pay off. Is this year going to be the same for Chelsea?

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I know that not everyblogger here is a fan of the US National Mens Team, but for those of us who are, the news of Jozy Altidore's season loan from Villareal to The Tigers has to be welcome. Hull's fairly weak up front, as these things go, and as Andrew Hush says:

In some ways, this move is a win-win for Altidore. If he is successful and scores the goals to keep Hull up, a permanent move may be in the cards, unless Villarreal is so impressed that it recalls him to its first team. If things go well personally but Hull is relegated, his stock will nonetheless be high. Even if he struggles and Hull goes down, Altidore has a full season in England under his belt and, at 20, time still on his side.

Terrible quality video of Altidore's first goal for Villareal...about 25 seconds after entering the match.

The transfer market has outdone itself again this summer, and we all know it’s not over yet. There is one burning question for an Arsenal fan as we look to the start of a new season; Are the big four still the big four? To answer this we have to look at what it takes to be a top four team. Talent is obvious, but the real key is consistency. Can a team produce results throughout a thirty-eight game Premier League season lasting from August through May? This is the first installment in a series in which I look at some of the top teams in the Premier League and make the case as to whether they’ll have a spot in the top four after May 9, 2010.

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Say what you want about Spurs, but with Defoe and Crouch and Keane bearing down under the guidance of Houdini Harry Redknapp (who's already done well with Crouch and Defoe in the past), they'll be a threat to punch in some goals. So when you open up against them on the road and your top 3 central defenders are hurt, you begin seeking replacements.

Rafael Benítez has confirmed his interest in signing Michael Turner from Hull City after Liverpool's defensive problems mounted at home to Atlético Madrid yesterday. {...} "It is true I was talking with Phil Brown [the Hull manager], but I won't discuss any figures," said the Liverpool manager. When asked if he would make a second inquiry, Benítez added: "Maybe."

I haven't seen Turner myself, but last season he played every single minute of every single game for Hull City, and their official supporters' club have named him the team's player of the year for 3 straight seasons. Last fall, there were even calls for him to play on the England national team. Based on what I've read, I'd love to see him come to Anfield, even if it's a fee in the £8-9m region. But if you've seen him play and want to tell me I'm crazy, please do. In the meantime, I'll go back to fretting over how easily Atletico Madrid carved us up with no Carragher, Agger, or Skrtel. Here are the goals from that "friendly" ass-whupping:

Should play have been stopped before Frank Lampard scored the go-ahead for Chelsea? Was Wayne Rooney offsides when he tied it up the 92nd minute? Has Man U collectively adopted the "ZOMGHOWCOULDYOUDOTHATTOME?!" facial repertoire of the departed Ronaldo? Do Chelsea players look like half-footballer, half-bar-brawler monsters that score and beat you up along the way? Does Drogba finally look badass now that he dropped that little circle thingy he wore on his head? Was Michael Owen's irrelevance a sign of things to come? Has Petr Cech laid early claim to the mantle of the EPL's best keeper? Does Ancelotti's diamond formation make Lampard a better fantasy pick than Gerrard? Why was Man U nudging pathetic dribblers during the shootout while Chelsea was bombing balls into the corner? Will Man U be rattled by the poor PKs or buoyed by Rooney's run? Will Chelsea have a habit of letting up a bit too early at the end of games? The only thing of which I'm certain: this is going to be a barn-burner of a chase for all the silverware amongst the top teams in England.
You should read Tom Bryant's awesome minute-by-minute report.

Except when my team wins them, of course.

With a week to go until the start of the season, experienced armchair managers will slip into the old sheepskin and start seriously thinking about compiling their teams for the 38 games ahead. Much of the summer’s frankly ludicrous spending is over, and with the media poring over every minor footballer’s minor niggles, we have a reasonable idea who will start the season for a lot of teams. Inevitably, despite a busy summer of ins and outs, the first couple of names on the teamsheet will come from last season’s leading performers, the players who top the charts year after year. Your solid goalkeeper, big-name midfielder, ‘plays-every-game’ type, and the marquee striker, right? Well depending on the scoring system in whichever league you ply your trade in, perhaps it is right, but in the spirit of just competition, you’ll have a strict budget to buy and trade players, and perhaps a wage cap. Interesting that we recognise the value of this limitation when playing ‘fantasy’ football, but there’s no such call for a wage cap in the real world. Football is far from immune to hubris, and the reckless spending we’ve seen this summer is rooted in the same deep morass of debt that led to the credit crisis and recession. Alright, so if you don’t have a wallet the size of Mark Hughes’ thighs (in his playing days), your first step is to consider who to place between the sticks. Last season’s standout ‘keepers were (in most leagues) Mark Schwarzer , Petr Cech, and Pepe Reina. Other ‘solid’ number ones were Van der Sar, hardly surprising given United’s terrific defensive run, the ever-reliable Shay Given, and Tim Howard. All look like being first-choice again this season, with the exception of Van der Sar, who injured a finger in the pre-season penalty shoot-out against Bayern, so Ben Foster will start for United. Foster is highly rated in the United camp, and excelled during his loan spell at Watford behind a wobbly defence. He’s also a bit of a bargain, and would be my pick. Fulham still look well organised and drilled under Hodgson, so Schwarzer remains a sensible choice, and with Ancellotti’s arrival I’d expect Cech to receive a lot of protection at Chelsea. Liverpool ‘s Glen Johnson, while a good attacking full back (but at what percentage of your fantasy budget?) may weaken Liverpool’s defensive line, and Everton seem likely to lose Lescott. Eyeing a ‘keeper from a promoted side? Don’t. Defensively, you’ll probably want attacking full-backs (to rack up the odd goal, or points for assists) and, well, any one of Vidic (injured), Carragher, Lescott, and Terry. Ferdinand rarely adds goals and is costly. Titus Bramble (seriously) had a good season at Wigan last year, as did Manny Figuero, will they maintain those standards? Hangeland and Paintsil at Fulham did well, as I mentioned. My gut feeling is that Blackburn, West Ham, Portsmouth, all look shaky at the back and could ship goals, so I’ll be steering clear of their defenders, but will I be looking foolish by Christmas? Spurs have a lot of injury problems at the back but Redknapp is canny. I therefore like Assou-Ekotu at a fair price. In midfield, you’re insane not to have either Fat Frank or Stevie G. Simply insane. Stephen Ireland, Ashley Young and Danny Murphy impressed last time out, but have all risen in price. Phil Neville captains Everton, and plays most games. He won’t score many goals though. Arteta; Cahill, you’ll get value for money. Arsenal’s midfield always deliver points, but Arsene’s likely selection is a mystery to me, will he thrust forward the youngsters? I hope so, because Vela and Wilshere in particular look to be budding superstars. Will Theo deliver a consistent season? Realistically, in the midfield and up front is where you’ll have to squeeze in a ‘bargain basement’ player. Now you can start trawling the mid-table sides, the newly-promoted. It’s really here, and in the transfer market, that the game is won and lost. Remember Hull’s Geovanni lighting up the Premiership for the first 10 games? Who would have backed Cliff Dempsey to hit form towards the business end of the season for Fulham? Can you unearth a gem from Birmingham, Wolves, or (don’t snigger) Burnley? I’m not going to give you any tips here, you’ll have to browse the net for clues as to who stood out in the Championship last season, defensively and in attack. As a Bristol City fan I have some ideas, and lasting wounds. Up front, then, Man City seems to have all the weapons. Can they get them firing? Rooney in a central role? Pick him. Van Persie will get starts, and goals, as will (just get up, will you?)Drogba, and (a class act if fit) Torres. Crouch back under Harry? Goal machine, or will turn Defoe back into a goalscorer again. Those two should be glued together, which may see Keane play a wider role, or miss out, fitness depending. Wolves’ Sylvain Ebanks-Blake has a big Championship reputation, can he make the step up? Eduardo can deliver for the Gooners. Villa will create chances; do you prefer Carew or Agbonlahor to convert them? Blackburn look goal shy now, as do Pompey, Birmingham, West Ham, and, yes, Burnley. So with the curtain raiser between Manchester United and Chelsea underway on Sunday, raise a beer to the new season, with all its beloved goals, clean sheets, bookings, derby matches and gorgeous, delightful statistics. Keep one eye on the net for last-minute injury news and transfers, and replay the various possible combinations over and over in your mind. And remember, when it all seems to be going wrong mid-season, and you’re considering playing the ‘wildcard’ and changing your entire squad, that in 2007/08 a friend of mine spent a month in a coma, and three more unable to move in hospital during the season. He still beat me. By several hundred points.

Can't wait for the Community Shield match!!! Sunday at 9AM (Austin time). I'll be at watching @ Fado, most likely.