Yeah, so...there were these penalty kicks... So. This game. I wasn't going to have much to say about it, really. The first half was a scoreless...well, I won't go so far as to call it a bore, but it was far from exciting. Paraguay's defense was pretty strong, and they were managing to have three or more players surround every Spanish player at all times, it seemed. Spain was having trouble with their passing, their communication, their set-ups...basically just having trouble. There were few shots to each side, and even the Paraguay goal called back for offside wasn't another jump-out-of-your-chair bad call moment. The replay showed maybe it was a wrong call, but it was close and wasn't even argued much. (The offside call seemed to be against Nelson Valdez, who looked onside, but further commentary says it was against Oscar Cardozo, who was offside.) When the second half began, it was more of the same for about the first 14 minutes. THEN SOME PENALTY KICK STUFF HAPPENED. Keep in mind, this all occurred within the space of about three minutes, and if you'll pardon my French and a Gwen Stefani reference, this shit was bananas. Gerard Pique got a yellow card for fouling Cardozo in the area, and Paraguay gets a penalty kick in the 59th minute. Torment for Spain. Cardozo takes the shot himself and it's saved by Iker Casillas. Torment for Paraguay. Then less than a minute later down at the other end of the pitch, David Villa is fouled by Antonin Alcaraz in the area, Alcaraz gets a yellow and Spain gets a penalty kick. More torment for Paraguay. Xabi Alonso steps up to take it and buries it...and the ref calls for a retake due to encroachment. More torment for Spain. Alonso takes it again and this time keeper Justo Villar saves it. Even more torment. In the process of knocking it away, he grabs at Cesc Fabregas' ankles and I concur with announcer John Harkes' assessment that it maybe should have been another penalty call. THEN Paulo Da Silva had to make a save on the line after Sergio Ramos takes a shot from the side. TORMENT EVERYWHERE ALL AROUND. Finally regular play resumed and it seemed to settle a bit, and I found myself hoping for a goal - for either side - simply to keep the match from going into extra time. David Villa, perhaps sensing my prayers, finally said "Okay FINE GUYS I'll take care of things again", and after Pedro's shot hit off the post, Villa collected the rebound and banked it off both posts as he put Spain in the lead with less than ten minutes to go. Casillas made a couple additional strong saves in the final moments and Spain are now off to the semifinals to meet Germany, where they will need a lot more than mediocre midfield work, wacky penalty kick sequences, and a single late goal to make it to the final. They've got four days to come up with something better.

No, there are no errors in that title, and no, you're not losing it. There is no Italy to speak of anymore in this tournament. The defending champions will be on their way home, just as their opponents from 2006 were the other day. Soccer is exciting, soccer is crazy, soccer is...freaking strange. The Italians lost 3-2 at the hands (feet?) of a largely dominant Slovakia today, capping an unimpressive group stage for the Azzurri. The statistics will tell you it was an even game in terms of numbers - possession was nearly even, with Slovakia taking the tiniest of edges with 51%; the Italians had 16 shots to their opponents' 10 (or 12, depending on what site you read); four yellow cards to each side; and so on. But as far as the actual performance, it was decidedly uneven for most of the match. Italy looked slow and tentative early on and through much of the game. Their passing was mediocre at times, abysmal at others - such as when Daniele de Rossi essentially gifted the ball to the opposition, leading to a goal from Robert Vittek in the 25th minute. Losing possession in midfield was a consistent problem for the Italians, as was a seeming shakiness in defense when confronted with an attack. Slovakia's defense was strong, and it wasn't until the 81st minute - down 2-0 after Vittek notched a second goal from close range in the 73rd - that Italy finally answered with a strike from Antonio Di Natale, and their play actually seemed to leave second gear. It got very dramatic here in these final minutes: Italy was suddenly throwing everything they had into the match when Kamil Kopunek added a third for Slovakia in the 89th, followed three minutes later by a Fabio Quagliarella strike to make it 3-2. It went at a frenetic pace until the final whistle, when Slovakia engaged in a group celebration of their victory, and Italy shuffled off the pitch, likely dreading the reactions awaiting them back home. This seems to be another case of a top team assuming they will win, assuming they have no worries, and allowing those assumptions to take the place of good performances. We all know games aren't played on paper, and that soccer is very much an "any given day" kind of sport, but Italy should not have had any trouble advancing from this easy group. However, that doesn't mean they shouldn't have been trying, or that leaving the trying to the last 10 minutes of the third match is enough. It wasn't - they finish at the bottom of their group and now have a long road home to ponder their mistakes and the dangers of overconfidence. In the other Group F match, Paraguay and New Zealand played to a nil-nil draw, which was still enough to put the South American side at the top of their group. Paraguay out-shot and out-possessed their opponents by great margins, bested by the Kiwis only in the negative areas of fouls committed and offside calls. Either New Zealand's defense was too strong or Paraguay was simply playing for the draw - or maybe both? Despite it not reading like much of a match, both sides come out of it well - Paraguay advancing as group winners, and New Zealand headed home but with a very impressive showing, going undefeated, garnering their first points ever in the World Cup and finishing in third ahead of Italy. Not too bad for a team ranked #78!

The current table:

Paraguay	4 pts	+2 goal difference
Italy	2 pts	0
New Zealand	2 pts	0
Slovakia	1 pt	-2

The possibilities:

	New Zealand win	New Zealand/Paraguay draw	Paraguay win
Italy win	Italy 5 +1 or better New Zealand 5 +1 or better Paraguay 4 Slovakia 1 The team with the greater margin of victory wins the group. If the same margin, the team that scores the most wins the group, if that is level, the group winner is decided by a drawing of lots.	Paraguay 5 +2 goal difference Italy 5 +1 or better New Zealand 3 Slovakia 1 Italy needs to win by 3 goals to finish first. If Italy win by 2, it comes down to total goals (Paraguay 3, Italy 2), and if that is level, the drawing of lots.	Paraguay 7 Italy 5 New Zealand 2 Slovakia 1
Italy/Slovakia draw	New Zealand 5 Paraguay 4 Italy 3 Slovakia 2	Paraguay 5 Italy 3 New Zealand 3 Slovakia 2 With three draws, goal difference is level, and both have scored 2 goals so far. The team that scores the most in the draw advances, if both score the same, then a draw of lots decide who advances and who goes home.	Paraguay 7 Italy 3 New Zealand 2 Slovakia 2
Slovakia win	New Zealand 5 Paraguay 4 +1 or worse Slovakia 4 -1 or better Italy 2 The combined margin of victory must be 5 or more for Slovakia to pass Paraguay. If it is 4, it is total goals (Paraguay 3 Slovakia 1 presently) and if that is level, Paraguay advances on the head-to-head win.	Paraguay 5 Slovakia 4 New Zealand 3 Italy 2	Paraguay 7 Slovakia 4 Italy 2 New Zealand 2

We learned that it's a lot easier to make mistakes than great plays. Denmark coughed up a brutal own goal thanks to the unluckily placed heads and backs of their defenders. Paraguay blew the chance to cripple Italy's dreams of a repeat when their keeper threw a drunkard's punch and allowed the ball to fall right into De Rossi's lap. We learned that Cameroon has one game plan when down a goal in the last twenty minutes: hoof the ball from midfield into the box over and over, no matter how many times your players fail to come down with the Jabulani. We learned that Italy's age is in fact a hindrance, and they'll make average squads look downright explosive, especially once play's taken out wide. We also learned that the nation of Italy has in fact produced a goalie besides Buffon but that said keeper plays with the confidence of a Steve Carell character. We learned that Japan can win on the road. We learned that you can dress like Atletico Madrid and still play quality football. We learned that Wesley Sneijder is still the best playmaking midfielder in the world, and that Dirk Kuyt is still an unimpressive player who somehow manages to put himself in the right place for easy goals too often for it to be coincidence. What else did we learn?